Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Allah please make my parents to understand me

Muslim woman in hijab

Assalamu alicum

I am in love with the guy for the past 5 year and my parents started to search for the alliance so I went to my parents and informed them that I am in love. my parents got very angry and they did not accept my love and with the anger they started looking for alliance. Whenever I started to tell then about this they become very sad and started crying. I can't really hurt my parents and couldn't leave him - he is such a good guy he loves me so much.

I am in my final year of my studies and he is also on the final year of his studies. He is also an Muslim and he does his prayers and he doesn't have any bad habits .The only problem for my parents is they are saying that his status is not as my parents expect, he studying and not yet started working, but  he is going to start a business by next month inshaallah.

I don't want to hurt my parents at any situation, his parents has accepted us, my parents are not even willing to talk with his parents.  I am doing namaz and he is doing as well and asking Allah to make our parents to understand us.i will wait till my parents accept my love.  Inshaallah plzzzz help me out from this situation and give me some solutions my dear sis and bro.



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7 Responses »

  1. Sister,first you should do isteekhara he is better for you or not.

  2. Aslam alikum
    Dear sister read your story which you written here on this website.
    Dear sister I don't know what is your age but my age is 30 years and as of I have bed experience with my love marriage I am not trying say that I had bed experience so everyone will have bed experience with love marriage but I have to share with some truth of love marriage,
    1.allways your parents will angry with that guy
    2. Allways he will not respect your parents so your will fight with him allways

    3. If you and he fight each other your parents will not come for talk with him

    4. In love marriage not have any shy or much respect and he will not have any afraid of your family may be he will take hands of you any time.

    5. Without agree parents you will see many troubles that's true

  3. You will what ALLAH has written for ur desination. Dont have any expetations because they never will out the way you want them but there is always a reason behind it. Thats it. I am sorry but I feel like people waste their time looking for love and they dont look at the real reason behind it .

  4. WalikumAsslaam sister.

    I am so sorry that you are going through this I can only imagine how difficult this must be for you. As a Muslimah we should have an intention of having our parents blessings when we start thinking about our Nikkah which I can see you do as you said you do not want to upset them. My honest and most humble opinion is please do Istikhara and ask Allah to lead you in the right direction. I know it will be a difficult task because you have invested in him on a emotional level.
    If you're hurting in the process, please reach out to me I will try my best to give you the support you need. I'm currently trying to get over a broken heart myself so I can understand your situation.

  5. Asalamu Alakium let him start working and give your parents and him time to get to know each other and accept him do Istikarad

  6. You have invested 5 years and each day was sinful as it was haraaam to have a relation ship .Now you can see that things are messed up .

    I suggest you to repent for your sins and ask forgiveness from Allah .

    There is no guaranty that he will keep you happy after marriage . I suggest you to make a dua and pray Allah Allah to help in choosing the best option .

  7. So you "Love a guy", and this guy "Loves you", This guys parents "Support your relationship", while your "Parents don't support your relationship"?

    Many different things to view from this.

    1) You stated "You're In your final year of your studies", correct? In all those years of your "Studies", who took care of you? Again I'm just asking a simple question! Now prior to your "Studies", who took care of you through, elementary school and high-school+All the times you were sick, and bought you clothing, and played with you, and nursed you when you were so sick "You thought you'd be dying"? Who cried and begged Allah (SWT), to nurture you back to health? Who fed you and kept you warm, and safe? Who would be ready to "Slay any boy/man who dared came to your house looking for your hand In marriage (When you were younger)"?

    I guess you should really know the answer to those questions.

    2) Love (With all do respect), Is a blessing (When you really find It). Yet what you and this "Gentlemen" have Isn't really "Love", you see, I'm married for the past 9+years, and let me tell you that "LOVE Is a test" and a very "Trying test", and you really don't know If you "Love him and he loves you" (Until you're In 1 house together) and got kids and paying bills and waking up (Angry at life In general or your boss), you see, "Love Is a true test" but put "Love" (Aside for a moment), you know what else Is a true test "Patience/Acceptance" That Is also another reality that happens In "Marriages" and best believe "Patience" Is hard and well "Acceptance" Is realizing the situation you got yourself Into by "Marrying someone that your parents were set against you marrying In the first place" because you were In "LOVE". I'm not trying to sound harsh but reality Is reality and reality Is that "Unless you know this person (Like you know yourself), you don't know this person at all" all you're doing Is going by blind faith (Your parents are trying to keep you away for your own good).

    3) You do realize that your parents aren't the one "Marrying this man, correct"? It's you, so If you "Think you know more than the parents that raised you", than Subhan-Allah (What more can I say). Parents always look out for the "Best Interest of their children", That Is what "We/Parents do", so try to understand that "Your parents (While It may make Zero sense to you today) have your best Interest at heart.

    4) Another thing I'd like to point you to Is the fact that "His parents are supportive of the relationship", don't you find that odd? I mean come on, think for a moment, "He's a boy In a relationship with a girl" and his parents aren't objecting, how come? Think! Think! Now had the roles been reversed and you were the "Boy" and he "The girl" but with the same parents, do you think his parents wouldn't object to your "Relationship", because "You 2 are so In love"?

    Come on

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