Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Am i being too strict?

Assalamu Alaikum,

I have been over thinking these past months,i am a muslima who tries to engage in the required acts of Ibadah..i have a person am engaged too,yes,his deen and character are moderate but my mind has not been at rest throughout the duration of this period,i havent had the courage to even tell my friends about it or to even look forward to the wedding.My issue with him is that,he says "he is a person who wants to be told things before doing it"..little acts of visitation to a different part of the state i stay,i have to ask for but if i come to visit in the same town he is,then he requests to come over.

I dont really like having to always repeat issues,i always have to say things before he does them,i know nobody is perfect but i fear that will continue in future and bring issues in the long run,am i being too critical?am told i shouldnt bother but it does ?

Jazakallahu Khair..


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4 Responses »

  1. I don't understand the question.
    Please rephrase it.

  2. Walaikum assalam sister.

    If I understand your post correctly, it seems your fiancé is demanding that you always ask for permission before you go anywhere.

    He is not your husband yet and doesn't have the right to do this. There is no marriage between the two of you. He can't demand to know where you are or insist on coming to see you. For one thing, it is not permitted for you two to meet or speak privately until marriage.

    He sounds like someone who wants to control your every move and wants to be informed before you go anywhere. This is quite a disturbing thing that he seeks to control you even before marriage. Who knows how much worse it will be after marriage?

    It sounds like you are having doubts about whether to marry him or not. Do not ignore these feelings. This is your gut instinct telling you that this man may not be right for you.

    Speak to those you trust and your parents. They must be informed of these misgivings you are having. Tread carefully where marriage is concerned. Consider whether you want to live the rest of your life having your every move scrutinised by this man. If you don't, you may want to call the engagement off. It is far easier to get out of an engagement than a miserable marriage.

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