Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Am I justified to divorce my husband because of my unhappiness?

My husand and I have been married for many years and have children..  Since the beginning, he has always shut down and stopped talking for days if I said anything he didn't like..  Now, years later, he shuts down for weeks and I have stopped going and asking "what is wrong, what did I do?"..  There is no abuse or cheating or anything, just no communication..  I am very unhappy living in silence with 20% of my marriage being happy and the other 80% being miserable..  My children love him though..  Am I justified to divorce him because of my unhappiness?

3 Responses »

  1. Salam
    If you're really sure that your marriage makes you miserable more than it makes you happy, and you really always try to be a good wife in that poor situation that you encounter almost daily, then I hope you'll start thinking about divorce.
    I know 'divorce' is a strong word to say and much more worse to do, but you cant be a good muslimah/individual when your mental is tortured by the main person who's supposed to care for you as in his marriage vow.
    Hardly any of us these days, are like the great nobel muslimahs from the past who were extraordinarily wise and tough to go through/deal with torturing marriage. You'll be just like someone I know, she's turn into a bitter person and bad-mouthed her unfaithful husband every waking hour as she deals with all the pressure that comes along with menopause. She was very cool and patience but as she gets older she is much more deteriorated by her troubled marriage.
    You are still an individual who will face Allah alone in your grave.. Do think about yourself first. We are so fragile my sister. I fear your sadness may end up shattering your sanity to think wisely to a point that it cant be mend.
    My prayers will always be with you. May Allah show you the right way and fulfill your doa.

    • salams to all

      i would just like to point out a a hadith by our beleoved final messenger

      it states:

      if it wernt for what some minority go through then allah would have made divorce harram.

      what it means by this hadith is that divorce is highly makruh and not supposed to be used on any normal or any small situation, divorce was made when there is big proplems such as abuse and mistreatment and divorce it should be sought out at a last resort
      try talking to him in regards to how he treats you
      i once joined a mens awarness course that taught me how to be a better man in regards to treating my wife with love and one thing it tought us that abuse isnt oly in the form of violence it is also things like the silent treatment that can be worse.
      have u tried talking to him telling him how yoy feel?
      how it is affecting your relationship with him
      i believe that because you let him do it when you first got married
      he thought it would be ok until nw
      i hipe u guys become dtronger

  2. Slaam sister,

    i wud like to sugest one thing that patience is da best way to overcome any difficulty. I know it is taugh to spent life with a partner who dosnt has a heart to feel intention of others but u shud b the wise n control the situation n safe the future of ur kids. Allah will give u the best result and all those happiness which u want.

    Overall he is a human n must has a inner wisdom. U can win her heart n smoothen da situation.

    May Allah help u.

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