Everything’s gone wrong for him since we met, am I taking away his luck?
Am I giving him bad luck?
I'm a Muslim woman who has fallen in love with a great Muslim guy. He is great and loves me more than anything in the world. Both our parents know about us and we are inshallah getting married. But I think I'm bad luck for him. We did our saab by 5 different people and it always says we are gonna be really happy together.
Since I've come in his life things have gone really bad for him. He had a great job, was financially secure and was and still is the rock of our relationship. But since I've come in his life he has lost his job, not financially secure and is losing his own confidence and self respect . I've tried to help him financially but he wont take anything from me, he has his own pride. Even in his hard times he takes care of himself and me. When we do go out for a meal or a movie he only pays and won't let me pay for anything. I know times are hard for him but I just want to help. We have talked about this but he doesn't want my help.
Since he's come in my life I'm really happy, got a promotion at work, got a brand new car, I'm more financially secure then I was before. Whatever he tries to do it never happens. He been trying to get a new job, but every time he tries he gets rejected. He trying to save money but ends up spending it. We both read our namaz and he even goes to the mosque to read his namaz. We did his saab and it says that he is going through a rough patch and that this year is not good for him. He gives his sadkah and does dua.
He's trying his best to get his life back on track but is getting knock backs every time. People are saying that his kismat has gone bad because I've taken it. People are saying I'm bad luck to him and I believe it sometimes that I might be. Since I've come in his life I'm bad luck for him but he's good luck for me. We have talked about this and he says its rubbish and doesn't believe it. He says he reads his namaz and does dua and that Allah is only testing him and inshallah things will get better. I wish I had the strentgh and will he has. I always do dua for him.
Is there some dua he can read that will make things better for him. Can it be that I'm bad luck for him and that I always will be if I'm with him?
- luck
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Assalam Alaykum Missy Luck,
By 'saab' Do you mean something like janam kundali ?? If so that is completely haram in islam, it's classified as shirk, and Allah (Swt) never forgives shirk, it's like assigning a partner with Allah (Swt), believing that Someone (Other than Allah (Swt) ) has the knowledge or ability to see the future.
In islam there is no such thing as 'lucky' or 'unlucky' As well, that's being superstitious, which is also forbidden in Islam, Believing that someone or something can bring you Good or bad luck, is another form of shirk.
These are Major Sins, sister please refrain from them.
x
Can you please contact me i see you have pretty much knowledge regarding islam
I’m sorry, we do not allow private contact between members.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Sister, Asalaamualaykum,
From what you have said, I feel that the only 'problems' in your's and this man's life are that you both have weak eeman and lack knowledge in your deen.
1) Saab: I think you are referring to what the Sikh and Hindus do. They make a calculation to read the future to find out whether a certain thing will be good for them or not, to help them set dates for weddings and name babies. This is like what fortune tellers do and is absolutely haraam. No-body knows the future, only Allah knows. We should use our God given intellect along with seeking help from Allah about the unseen (future) to make calculated decisions, not rely on luck, taweez, fortune telling etc. This is as SamIra said, a type of Shirk which is a major sin in Islam.
2) Blessing or Trial: You said you were 'happy because you got a promotion at work, a brand new car and are more financially secure than before.' And you believe that since 'He has been trying to get a new job, but every time he tries he gets rejected,' that these things are signs of bad luck in his life.
I want you to ponder over the following:
- How do you know that your promotion, your brand new car and your financial security is a blessing for you? Did it occur to you that these things that appear to be good things, could be a test or even a trial for you.
- How do you know that by this man not being able to find a job nor save money is bad for him? Again, these things could very well be a punishment for him, or a test, or it could be that Allah is protecting him from something.
I'll tell you a little story: Arabia was and still is a very dry land, it doesnt rain much. But when it would rain, our Rasool(saw) would not jump up with joy as the other people would. Instead, his disposition would remain calm and cautious. He would worry as to whether the rain was a blessing or actually a punishment to wipe out the people for their disobedience as Allah had wiped out nations in the past for their disobedience through earthquakes, floods etc. So he would pray to Allah begging Him(swt) to make the rain be a blessing and not a trial for the people.
Allah says in Surah Al Baqarah, Ayah 216: "...But you may dislike something which is good for you, and you may like something which is bad for you. Allah knows while you do not know."
3) Dating: You talk about eating out and going to the movies with this man and the only thing you are concerned about is that he will let you pay. Sister, dating is completely forbidden in Islam, what you are doing is haraam. This type of relationship is wrong. As Muslims, there are strict guidelines set in place for us when dealing with the opposite gender. These are not there to be an 'annoyance' or a 'pain'. They are there to protect us from sinning.
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You cannot be pleasing Allah by believing in things like 'Saab' and dating a non-mahram. Do tawbah immediately and straighten your relationship with Allah. I suggest you re-assess the nature of your relationship with this man immediately and show this reply to him aswell. Both you and this man should do istikhara and ask Allah to guide you with regards to marriage. Please immediately refrain from any further dating with this man as it is a sin. I would also advise any Muslim to learn about their deen and about purpose of marriage before choosing their marriage partner.
There are articles on this website which will tell you about Tawbah, Dua and Istikhara. It will be good for you to read them.
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Excuse me..... Sikh never do dat...
Mashallah what the sisters have told u above are correct.
The concept of "Saab" and "Luck" are alien to true Islam...They are shirk. Stay away from them and inshallah for sure you will have a better life. And as SisterZ explained, by better life i dont necessarily mean in terms of material though Allah s.w.t may bless you with that as well! 🙂
Your fiance is right..these are tests and you need to have patience and do dua to Allah and ONLY Allah s.w.t alone.
Was-salaam
Salamualaikum Wr Wb
:s I just couldnt believe what u said! dear sister you and this guy should repent to AllahSWT and stay away from these dangerous practices that'll take you far away from AllahSWT...
there's nothing called "luck" in islam.... i hope you take time to read this ebook http://www.kalamullah.com/Books/Fundamentals%20Of%20Tawheed.pdf PLz check out chapter 5 and 6!
may AllahSWT grant us all correct understanding of His Deen and be able to practise to the best of our ability to please Him!
Salamualaikum
Reading this message has surprised me in how similar it is to my situation. Me and My fiancé both practice Islam, and our parents are aware of us meeting. Recently she to put the question to me over a argument we had, that she believes we are bad luck for each other. Although we are soon to be married like you, i felt as Islam must have an answer to this.
But after reading up on this, i have found one answer. Allah swt tests us in all aspects of our life and only he knows what the future holds, but that does not mean you must give up, it simply means you must use this period of bad "luck" and learn from it and grow stronger. Do not forget allah swt knows best.
As far a saab goes in the Pakistani culture it is quite common to here of this, i have heard of this and my mother in law and mother have spoken of this before. I truly ignore such things as I believe no body but Allah knows the future. Human nature always seeks for guidance and support but there is no greater than allah, and inshallah you should leave this to our creator. Do not blame yourself or lower your own self esteem, bond as a couple to get through this hardship.
I hope this helps
walikumsalam
Asalamulaikum , I am very thankful to this topic,and may ALLAH forgive me. Because of what I've though before . I am married in Islamic way to my husband Pakistani. We met in Korea and married there, before he has good job in Korea, and also in Dubai , Korea , Dubai his business, but after a months of our married past, he got denied in Korea airport immigration for some reason, then he stay in Dubai as doing his job, I invite him to come in Japan where I living, but he denied. So. I decide to come pakistan to met him and his family, very great family he has! Then after one month I stayed with him in pakistan , I go back to Japan .by the way I'm from the Philippines divorced here in Japan but no divorce in the Philippines, so that's why we only can married by Islamic way. And at this case, I cannot marry him here in Japan without my singleness from Philippines.then I file petition in the Philippines for recognition of divorce said. But the problem come to me, my case was pending for the financial matter and also have no known good lawyer because I'm here in Japan. Then I will try to invite again my husband to come to Japan , but again some problem come to my husband in Dubai. So that time really we losing hope for each other to see each other , so I though and ask to ALLAH why it is happen to us? While we are doing fasting and dua for ALLAH. And really lost of faith. When I read your all comments really I ask forgiveness to ALLAH , because I'm out of my mind and thinking bad about all my situation bad. Thank you very much to all of you, I woke up from the bad dream, thank you, WA SALAM
Always give thanks to Allah say alhamdoulilah don’t trust sheytanes bad ideas Trust God deeply and everything will be alright
I have the same problem, still looking for the answers. I do believe I am a bad luck for him.
As people around say that wife brings money and rizq for husband but in my case. He lost everything even his confidence in himself.
Salam Saima,
There is no luck for you to be bad luck for him. Luck implies that Allah does not know what it is going to happen to you and it happens randomly. What happens to people is either a test, a punishment, or a reward. Those that are grateful get more. Here is the verse that deals with what is happening to your husband:
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http://legacy.quran.com/57/22-23
No disaster strikes upon the earth or among yourselves except that it is in a register before We bring it into being - indeed that, for Allah , is easy -
In order that you not despair over what has eluded you and not exult [in pride] over what He has given you. And Allah does not like everyone self-deluded and boastful -
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I also feel that i am unlucky for my husband . we get married 15 years ago, nowadays my husband also feel that i am unlucky for him.It hurts me very much.
Asalamalecum ive been married about 10 yrs we are both musluim my husband says since i came into his life i only bring bad luck his jobs are not doing well on the other hand i recieve money and help in our home to buy and pay thing in our home please tell me whats wrong
Anam, you do not bring any bad luck, since there is no such thing as bad luck. Your husband's rizk (his provision and wealth) has been determined by Allah. He will receive every penny destined for him, no more and no less. It has nothing to do with you. It sounds like in reality you are a blessing to him, since you work and help in the home. Your husband is an ungrateful jerk, sorry to say. Or maybe he feels inadequate, so he takes it out on you.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor