Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Am I transgender?

transgender homosexual gay lesbian

Salam I am a girl in my early 20s. When I was a kid I used to insist that I be referred to as a boy. I dressed up in tshirts and jeans, played with guns, boys my age etc.
I hated frilly female clothes, dolls, pink stuff, dollhouses.I used male pronouns for myself.

On the first day at school, I asked my teacher if I could wear the boys' uniform as I liked it more to which she replied "You have to wear what the girls are wearing because you are a girl.". I didn't protest or anything and started referring to myself as a girl at school. In other words I was a boy at home and a girl at school. This went on till prep level after which I "became" a girl although my interests and hobbies didn't change.

At this age, I am comfortable with being a girl, heterosexual and DO NOT want a sex change but I still do not like makeup, selfies,girly shoes, dresses,nail polish and whatever other things girls my age are crazy about. My interests and hobbies are what many would call "male" like computers and videogames etc. I like to wear comfortable clothes mostly jeans and shirts(which are designed for females). So does this make me a transgender?? I am very uncomfortable thinking that I might be one and have gender dysphoria.

Advertisements

Tagged as: , , , , ,

5 Responses »

  1. Assalaamualaikam

    Being female doesn't require a person to like frilly things, dolls, etc. I think one of the very worrying things in the current trend of "gender fluidity" is that, far from liberating people, it reinforces stereotypes and tells people that if they're different, then they need to change so that they fit into a stereotype.

    It's absolutely fine for girls to be interested in computers, cars, sports, etc.; just as it's ok for a boy to like things like poetry, creative arts, etc. - so long as we all keep within Islamic limits and bear in mind Islamic values. If we all liked the same things and had the same interests, the world would probably be rather boring.

    You say that you identify as female. That means you aren't transgender. A person who is struggling with being transgender feels that they have been born into the wrong gender, that they may have the body of one gender, but they feel that they are the other; if you identify as being your biological gender, then you aren't transgender.

    Rather than getting upset or worried that you have different interests from some other girls, celebrate your interests and abilities - Allah has given them to you for a reason. There are many girls and women in the world who, like you, have interests in traditionally "male" fields, so it might help for you to make contact with some of them. You might want to look for clubs or meetings for girls interested in your hobbies; your school or college may also have links with women who work in computing or engineering, so you might want to look into getting in touch with them too.

    Midnightmoon
    IslamicAnswers.com editor

    • Well said, Sister Midnightmoon!

      Yeah, I too prefer male-type hobbies and subjects, e.g Maths and Physics in school, and I have a black belt in martial arts. Yet I am now happily married and have 4 grown children, Alhamdulillah. My only daughter also does not like pinky stuff and prefers pantsuits to dresses. I have just discovered that even my personality type falls under a predominantly male type personality rather than the predominantly female types. No problem with that. Certainly does not mean that I am transgender!

  2. OP: At this age, I am comfortable with being a girl, heterosexual and DO NOT want a sex change but I still do not like makeup, selfies,girly shoes, dresses,nail polish and whatever other things girls my age are crazy about. My interests and hobbies are what many would call "male" like computers and videogames etc. I like to wear comfortable clothes mostly jeans and shirts(which are designed for females).

    As long are a female anatomically and functionally (you menstruate ) make up and dresses and hobbies don't make much difference. Are you sexually attracted to men? Do you feel good when men at you as a woman?

  3. No my dear, you are not transgendered.

    Not all women like girly things. Trust me. My mom always made fun of me and my sister, we are both 28 years plus and never learned how to use a blow dryer and style our hair, I hate shopping, and I am still a female.

    Being a women and a good woman us based on your character and your attitude in life, not frilly girly things.

    Be at peace with your self, find joy in your hobbies, and don't worry about this rubbish idea about bring transgendered.

    Transgender is if you want to become a boy, are attracted to the same sex or are bisexual..and feel you are in the wrong body according to so e people.

    Just be your self, be a good human being and don't worry about these weird ideas, because you are fine just the way you are.

  4. Asalam o alaikum. My sister mashAllah you are so innocent and cute. Your post made me smile alot.
    I myself am about to get married and to tell you the truth I dont know anything but baggy t shirts and jeans aswell. No make up and no shopping + I hate pink. My in laws liked me as I am and they wouldnt change me.
    Tell you a thing when you get married you automaticaly would want to look feminine ( I dont mean girly here). So dont worry about that. As long as your clothing is modest and not revealing (which mens clothing already is!) Its perfectly fine. The beauty has nothing to do with make up or styled hair,believe me!!
    I personaly think that tom boys are cool. 😀
    I want to add a note, it may seem irrelivant but please don’t let your heart fall for anyone before marriage. Try to read the problems of our other sisters on this forum.
    Have a nice, playful and comfortable life my sweet sister. May Allah keep you safe from all the darkness of sins and evil people in this world. Ameen.

Leave a Response