Am I wrong for distancing my wife from my sister in law?
Assalamu 3alaikom:
My sister in law was trying to ruin her sisters relationship with me (her husband) and hook her up with a different person. I hate my sister in law and don't trust her and for that and I won't allow my wife to see her sister or hang out writh her in any occasion.
Also I get so upset if she even talked to her over the phone.
What does Islam say about this issue?
Thank You
Assalamu 3alaikom
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Salaams,
Brother,
Protecting family ties is a duty in Islam. Not only are we Muslims called to keep relations with our own blood relatives, we are to support the family connection of our friends and spouses. To sever a relation is a severe thing, and carries a hefty warning:
O mankind! Be dutiful to your Lord, Who created you from a single person (Adam) and from him he created his wife (Hawwa), and from both them both He created many men & women; and fear Allah through Whom you demand, and (do not cut the relations of) womb (kinship, blood relations). Surely Allah is Ever an All-Watcher over you.” (Aayah no. 1, Surah An-Nisa’, Chapter No. 4, Holy Qur’an).
"Allah's mercy will not descend on people among whom there is one who severs ties of kinship." [Baihaqi, Shuab Al-Iman]
"There is no sin more deserving of having punishment meted out by Allah to its perpetrator in advance in this world along with what He stores up for him in the next world than oppression and severing ties of family." [Tirmidhi]
For a man to keep his wife from having a relationship with her blood sister, even by phone, qualifies as severing family ties AND oppression. I understand that you are not happy with the direction your sister in law is pushing your wife in, but this is NOT the solution. If you continue handling the problem this way, you may be earning a greater consequence by Allah than just losing your wife to another man.
I agree with you that your sister in law should not be interfering in your marriage or trying to break it up. I believe that you should confront her about what she's doing with your wife and your wife's parents present. She needs to be accountable to her actions. If I were you, I would tell the sister in law that if she can respect your marriage and stop urging your wife to leave you, they can have as much contact as they want with each other, freely and confidentially. However, if you find that the sister in law is not respecting your boundary, tell her that you will only be comfortable with your wife speaking or seeing her if someone is there to make sure the sister in law is acting as she should- in other words- supervised. You can be the supervisor, or your parents or your wife's parents or some other relative. But it's wrong of you to not provide any venue for these sisters to have a relationship.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Salaam, follow the above advice, furthermore your married, you have a bond accepted by Allah, have faith and however hard your sis-in-law may try, she will fail in any attempt, because she is triyng to break that what Allah has made.
Its haram to severe ties. But, I suggest you make Du'a for your in law to make her change to the better
you can't distance her from her own sisters that's just wrong!
I'm not so sure since she is openly trying to break up their marriage. I believe Sister Amy gave a good guideline in her last paragraph that outlines the situation as it should occur.
In this case, the sister-in-law is causing open fitna in the halal relationship and if she does not desist, I believe that the husband may seek no other recourse that to limit the relationship drastically. Her husband is her garment, her partner and her companion. Anyone who tries to destroy that should be held in check to a very exacting degree. It may be advisable that he contact an alim.
salaam alaikum
i understand what your saying my sister in law always trys to break me and my husband up im due to give birth in two days time and yet she took no regard of this and has just sparked another fight between me and my husband by talking rubbish to him about me which he believes and now i dont care anymore about their s*** i just carry on with my life alone and dont bother having contact with either of them. its sad but i just keep myself to myself and dont talk to anyone i am planning to go hospital on my own if i go into labour because even though im swo close to giving birth to our first child he is still putting her first and ignoring me and my condition.
so when i feel upset i just read my quraan and block everything else out because Allah SWT is the only one who is powerful and the all knowing and can make your problems go away.i only trust in him no one else because my husband should be on my side right now but instead is giving me stress.
he also continues through this time to harass me and shout at me and be abusive towards me