Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Depressed and anxious during my pregnancy

Pregnant Muslim woman (drawing)

Salam wa laykom,

During the last month I have been going through very bad depression and anxiety. I have been praying, making dua, reading Quran Etc. I'm about to give birth to my baby soon in shaa Allah, but I'm feeling scared and I'm always in fear.

My husband supports me as much as he can, but I feel as if the world has closed all it's doors in my face. Subhanallah, I'm always getting sick in this pregnancy and the doctors cannot find a reason for it. I have strong faith in Allah swt, and I know when He wants He will cure me. Please make dua that I feel better soon and that Allah swt eases his hardship on me. Any advice or dua would be appreciated.

Salam wa laykom,

-manal


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7 Responses »

  1. Manal,

    Have you spoken to your doctor about how you are feeling? Let your doctor know what is going on with you and they can help you better than anyone. With your baby due soon, you should be very exited. What exactly is it that you are feeling anxiety about? Is it the delivery of your child?

    Salam

  2. Salamu alaykom,

    for some reason when ive been feeling off and always getting severe pains all over (aside from preg) drs as well did not have a clue to what was wrong.. I went to an imam & he suggested that i read surat al Baqarah once a day or every other day. But as much as i could. (Even in english is fine) So i did & those unusual pains disappeared elhamdulilah. This surah is known to clear and protect you from any evil. i have friends who have also noticed a tremendous improvement in different areas of theyre lives elhamdulilah after staying with this surah.

    may Allah protect you and you family inshallah

  3. Asalaamalaikum sister,

    I am now 35 weeks pregnant, and can totally understand your anxiety, as this is my first, I too have been feeling like you. I have been advised that in late pregnancy, we will feel a little more...down/weepy even over an issue you would not normally cry over. My hormones have been all over the place, having said that I am having issues with my husband which doesn't help.

    MashAllah that your husband supports you, praise him for supporting you so, show him you appreciate it and you will feel better for putting a smile on his face. I know sister, the pregnancy is getting harder as we are nearing the due date, all we can do is rely on Allah to help us through it. As for the sickness have you spoken to your midwife or doctor? Many women have sickness during the whole of their pregnancy, I know my cousin's wife did and MashAllah she had a natural birth and a healthy baby boy, InshAllah, it is nothing to worry about, our bodies are different and women cope with pregnancies in different ways.
    Is there anyone else to help you? Like your own family or in-laws? Take support from them, perhaps you can rely on someone who's already been through giving birth, even just to talk to.

    I pray that Allah Grants ease for you and that the baby is healthy Ameen.

    • Asalam alekum sister. I am facing the same thing as you, this is my third pregnancy, I am currently 37 weeks. I'm always feeling down and moody, my body jitters a lot, my mind seems to be busy always it like electricity all over my brain and I get tired easily. I don't know what helps apart from if something bothers me I ignore it. I listen to the Quran sometimes.

      Allah have mercy on you , congratulations. Good luck and don't over think about labour.

      fi-aman-Allah 🙂

  4. Assalaamualaikam

    It's quite common for women to have emotional fluctuations during pregnancy - especially if there have been health problems such as morning sickness or back pain, or even more serious ones - as well as the physical stresses of pregnancy, we've got hormonal changes and the psychological changes of adapting to pregnancy and imminent motherhood.

    If this is affecting you, it's extra important to make sure you've got good support around you - make sure your husband and your mother know how you are feeling; keep in touch with your GP; attend any antenatal classes you've got coming up and keep contact with the people you meet there; get to know the location in which you want to give birth (hospital, home, somewhere else?) so that you're familiar with it and meet the people who work there.

    If your mood is persistently low or anxious, you can ask your GP to put you in touch with a specialist counsellor or therapist so that you can get extra support. Many areas will have a team of counsellors, doctors and nurses who specialise in helping women cope with emotional distress during pregnancy and after the birth.

    Remember to keep reading Quran and praying your daily prayers. May Allah bless you with a healthy baby and ease your difficulties.

    Midnightmoon
    IslamicAnswers.com editor

  5. Salam

    My shaykh recommended the follow adhkar during my pregnancy. Inshallah they will help you:

    The following is some pregnancy advice which scholars have advised:

    The Intention:

    You should make the intention of Sayyida Hanna - the mother of Mary, the mother of Jesus (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon all of them). Sayyida Hanna (AS) dedicated the child in her womb to the service of Allāh. Her intention is described in the Qur’ān: “Lord, I have vowed to You, in dedication, what is in my womb for Your service. So accept this of me, for You hear and know all things} and {…I have named her Mary, and commend her to You with her seed, to protect them from the accursed Satan. Her Lord received the child with gracious favour, and caused her to grow up in goodly growth, and placed her in the care of Zakariya
    and: Behold! the angels said: "O Mary! Allah has chosen you and purified you – chosen you above the women of all nations.”

    In a lecture entitled, Jesus and his Blessed Mother, Habīb ‘Ali al-Jifri attests to the sincerity and far-reaching consequences of Sayyida Hanna’s intention: “The intention of Hanna made the one she bore be accepted by Allāh. She possessed an intention with Allāh...when she intended that in her offspring there would be someone who serves Allāh, someone who would serve this religion - when she was truthful in such an intention, Allāh honoured her because of her intention. Look at the effect of that intention: the very deliverance this Community will take place at the hands of our Master Jesus, peace be upon him.”

    Repeat the following verses during pregnancy:

    )رَبِّ هَبْ لِي مِن لَّدُنكَ ذُرِّيَّةً طَيِّبَةً إِنَّكَ سَمِيعُ الدُّعَاء (
    Rabbi hab li milladunka dhurriyatan tayyibah innaka sami`u-du`a

    "O my Lord, grant me a progeny that is pure, for You hear (our) prayers!"

    )رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا(

    Rabbana hab lana min azwajina wa dhurriyyatina qurrata `ayun wa’ja’lna lilmuttaqin imama

    "Our Lord, grant us wives and offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and give us (the grace) to lead the righteous.”

    )ثُمَّ السَّبِيلَ يَسَّرَهُ(
    Thumm ‘assabila yassarah

    Then He made the path easy

    )وَاللَّهُ أَخْرَجَكُم مِّن بُطُونِ أُمَّهَاتِكُمْ(
    W’Allah akhrajakummin butuni ummahatikum

    Allah brought you forth from your mothers’ wombs

    Read Daily (based on practise of some scholars)

    Sura Inshiqaq (sura 84) – to be recited on a daily basis throughout pregnancy
    Sura Luqman (sura 31) – to be recited in the 1st trimester
    Sura Yusuf (sura 12) – to be recited in the 2nd trimester
    Sura Maryam (sura 19) - to be recited in the 3rd trimester as labour approaches
    “Ya Latīf” – to be recited 129 times every morning and evening
    “Ya Qawī” – to be recited 116 times daily for strength
    General Advice:

    Recite all your daily adhkar and awrad, and pray as many prayers in jama’a with your husband as possible
    Read as much Qur’an as possible
    Do as much salawat on the Prophet (SAW) as possible

    During Labour (Husband should read this)

    The first ayat of sura al-Fath’ (sura 48)
    “Ya Latīf”
    Sura Maryam (sura 19)
    Sura Inshirah (sura 94)
    Read Surat al-Baqara in the room in which the baby is to be born, as this drives away the Shaytan for three days.

    During birth and leading up to it repeat Allah’s name “al-Latif” in abundance, along with the following:

    يَالَطِيفًا بِخَلْقِهِ ، يَا عَلِيمًا بِخَلْقِهِ ، يَا خَبِيرًا بِخَلْقِهِ .. اُلْطُفْ بِنَا يَا لَطِيْفُ ، يَا عَلِيْمُ ، يَا خَبِيْرُ
    يَا لَطِيْفًا لَمْ يَزَلْ اُلْطُفْ بِنَا فِيْمَا نَزَلَ .. إِنّك لَطِيْفٌّ لَمْ تَزَلْ .. اُلْطُفْ بِنَا وَ المُسْلِمِيْن

    Ya Latifan bi khalqihi ya `Aliman bi khalqihi ya Khabiran bi khalqihi ultuf bina ya Latifu ya `Alimu ya Khabiru (repeat 3 times)

    O One Who is gentle with His creation, O One who has complete knowledge of His creation, O One who has complete awareness of His creation! Treat us with gentleness O Gentle, O All-Knowing, O All-Aware!

    Ya Latifan lam yazal ultuf bina fima nazal innaka Latifun lam yazal ultuf bina wa’l-muslimin (repeat 3 times)

    O Gentle Who remains forever, be gentle to us in all that befalls us, You are constantly Gentle, treat us and the Muslims with gentleness!

  6. http://dua.farhathashmi.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=28&Itemid=29

    A lot of duas here sister. May Allah Aza Wa Jal ease the affairs of dunya and Akhira for you. May Allah Aza Wa Jal make your baby the coolness of your eyes. Please listen to them.

    Baraka'Allahu feeki wa Ahliki wa Maaliki.

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