Are all Muslim men this childish and insensitive?
I have 'posted' on this site before & thank you for the valuable suggestions/comments I have received.
I still seem to have a problem with the same person I wrote about.
As I have stated previously we both were engaging in Skype sex up until September upon his return from a trip to the U.S.A. He seemed to 'accept' my decision as I felt it wasn't 'right' to me. Even he admitted if his family found out he would be in a lot of trouble as it is wrong in the teaching of Islam. We have gotten along 'fine' since then - chatting the normal 2-3 times a week.
On the 16th December, we logged in for our usual 'chat' but he took it as an opportunity to try & start the sex up again!! I refused & asked if we could talk about it the next night. The reason being: I'm assuming everyone has heard about the siege that occurred in Sydney recently with the loss of 2 innocent lives? We all woke up to this news on the morning of the 16th December. I was so upset & in tears for most of the day & the whole country was in mourning, that I really didn't feel like chatting when we logged in that night.
His reaction was something that I didn't expect at all!! It seemed to be all about 'him' & what I wouldn't 'do!!' He has never once said "sorry" for our loss or even acknowledged it!! He still hasn't to this day!! He has hardly spoken to me ever since as he says "he needs time." For what? I don't think I did anything to deserve this kind of treatment!
The Muslim Community here have been so understanding & supportive to us. We appreciate that so much!! They have even stated they refuse to handle the terrorists body to be buried in the traditional Muslim way - yes, I am very much 'aware' of the procedure that has to be undertaken for the preparation of the dead body. They say it's because of 'what' he did to us!! That says 'so much' to us!!
Are all Muslims this insensitive as he seems to be? Or, am I the one who is wrong? I thought it might be just a 'culture' clash. I've told him he 'may get what he wants' in Muslim culture but he won't get that in mine!! Yes, I know the man is the 'boss' of the household in Muslim culture including the bedroom!! But, I have told him I 'am not' married to him & his demands won't be met!!
I will 'stand up' for myself, too. He knows that. He's told me that's 'why' he liked me in the first place. I still don't understand. Maybe his 'ego' is dented.
firefly
12 Responses »
Leave a Response
Entries(RSS)
This will be my last post here. Yes, many, if not most Muslim men are this insensitive. Women in general are simply objects to be used and discarded, and non-Muslim women are considered sluts to be lied to, exploited economically and sexually, and it is acceptable to do this because you are nothing more or less than a dirty pagan or dhimmi.
I just woke up after spending fourteen years as a member of that devil worshipping cult. I think the final straws were the vandalism and threats in Seattle against REWA for daring to teach freedom of speech to Somali refugee children, Charlie Hebdo, and the burning alive of the pilot by IS.
Islam is incompatible with representative governments, equality, liberty, and freedom. There are some who try mightily to make it compatible - American Islamic Forum for Democracy and Minaret of Freedom are two examples - but those groups and their members are denounced from minbar by the Imams at the very masjid that they attend. Dr. Zuhdi Jasser was denounced at a jumaa that he was attending with his family, in terms that legitimized his murder in the eyes of fanatics.
The most intelligent thing you can do for yourself is to avoid all Muslims, male and female, like the plague. Do not trust them. The first thing said to me as I prepared to take my Shahadah, that is to say the declaration of faith, was that I needed to know that in becoming a Muslim it had become my duty to work for the establishment of an Islamic Satate. This was at the big masjid in Santa Clara, California, months before 9/11.
To Anonymouse
Thank you so much for your input. As the question I asked was at least 6 weeks ago and has only just been published on the website, things have changed since then between us.
It took 3 weeks for this man to decide to talk to me after I made a simple request to put our conversation 'aside' for a day or so after the Sydney siege. I have still not received a decent explanation 'why' he did that to me!!
Yet, with the recent barbaric death of the Jordanian Pilot by ISIS - he has requested the same of me!! I am a very understanding person and I have agreed to his request. Why? You might ask. Because myself and my country know 'exactly' what it is like to lose a fellow countryman to an horrific act of terrorism. In our case, we lost 2 innocent people. Maybe now, he will know exactly 'how' we feel!!
No, I DO NOT intend saying anything to him about it as I know both him and his country of Jordan are in mourning and I respect that far too much.
Please, don't get me wrong - I have no words to describe how I feel for Jordan for their loss or for the pilot's grieving family!! My heart 'cries' for his Mother and his family so much!!
But, it seems he has a set of rules for me, and a different set of rules for himself with that regard. In a lot of ways he is a very caring, loving, man. He worries about me if I'm sick or not well. He has even offered to send me money to help me out with 'Bills' - which I have refused to accept and will continue to do so!!
We will never be any more than just very good friends and he knows that. I have asked him 'why' does he still want to talk to me via Skype despite being told there will be no more Skype sex at all?
HIs answer": He says "I am a very good woman and I am 'good' for him" and he likes the fact that I am 'honest' in what I say and I am straight-forward with my words. Maybe, it's the first time someone is being 'honest' with him and he's not used to that.
Yes, he is Muslim and he said he respects me for what I tell him. Oddly enough, we still get along pretty well though. I respect him in a lot of ways, too.
We all have our 'faults', no matter what culture we come from. But, hopefully, we can learn from each other.
Maybe I have judged him harshly. The longer I 'know' him, the better I understand what being a Muslim really is.
Yes, they are human, and have feelings just like everyone else!! Understanding someone goes a long, long, way, in the end.
firefly
@Anonymous, again, apologies for the misguided principles. But then, that is not on Islam but on the Muslims. Stop spreading a wrong perspective on the religion. Blame the people not the religion. May Allah guide you aright.
Brothers and Sisters, AsSalaamu Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wa Barakaatuh
We are so blessed to have the clear guidance of the Sunnah of our Beloved Prophet Muhammah saws. We only need to remember his trials in Mecca, and when he searched for refuge outside of Mecca. We are indeed in difficult times today, but again, no one is blessed with the sources of knowledge the way we are.
Indeed, "the best among you are those who have the best manners and the best character".
Uphold Islam. Uphold the Sunnah.
Salaam
Salaam, I'm not trying 2 point fingers but, you wrote ' I've told him he 'may get what he wants' in Muslim culture but he won't get that in mine!!', Muslims are 100% against what your saying he wants from you (skype ... Before marriage), therefore try not 2 point fingers at the 'Muslim culture', if your unaware of their practices, And I'm sure not all muslim men are childish and insenstive because not all 5 fingers are the same rigtt?, however I understand where your coming from, sometimes it does feel like that, hope you understand where I'm coming from, I didn't mean 2 hurt you, but if I have please forgive me, and hope this helps!,
To the OP:
The answer to your question is no.
Hana
I'm a Muslims and I really appreciate your time to ask thus wonderful question it really important to get a mature and an appropriate answer; I think you are getting everything wrong. Firstly all Muslims are human being like you and we feel, angry etc... So don't use the word all Muslim behave like this try to know what the problem in your relationship and what way possible you can save it if you really cared. Thanks
Hello,
Your story is the most common story that can happen between two people of any faith who have met on the internet. Islam has nothing to do with it.
Frankly, why would you base your entire opinion of Muslim based on this one man? Should I base my opinion of all non-Muslim women based on you only? Obviously not.
Also, I don't know how you are tying in horrific actions committed by mentally deranged people, who happen to be Muslim, into the story, but it appears to be a desperate attempt. I could really go into deep lengths here about this, but I would rather not because you really already have an opinion formed and appear to be looking for backup for that opinion. Or so it appears to me.
To Saba
Firstly, Kindly don't base your reply simply because you 'think' you know me!! I DO NOT base that opinion on all Muslims at all!! It was just a simple question. Don't go judging me by what I have written. We have had such wonderful support from the Muslim community here since the Lindt Café siege and it is very much appreciated.
But, when you do meet someone via the internet, it does give the 'wrong' impression of not only that person, but the rest of the community, too. Things have since changed since that was posted, which was last year, if I may say so.
I know a lot Muslims here where I live and they are very lovely people. I have now a different 'view' on the man in question. He knows my views and he accepts them. We do respect each other in a lot of different ways now.
We have known each other for the last 12 months, and I have grown to know him so much better. He says he likes me being honest and straightforward with what I say.
We still chat but we know we will never be any more than just good friends. Nothing wrong with being friends. I respect him so much more now and he does me.
firefly
Firefly,
It is difficult to take your words at face value because there is a lot of hypocrisy.
You don't want to be judged, but repeatedly do exactly that. You judge others and then, right after that, don't want others to do that with with you.
"But, when you do meet someone via the internet, it does give the 'wrong' impression of not only that person, but the rest of the community, too. "
So, if meeting you on the internet constitutes having a wrong impression of the "community" you belong to, you are saying, I'm justified...doesn't feel fair does it ?
You have no issues with Anonymouse calling Islam a devil worshipping cult, YET, you continue in a relationship with a Muslim man...and want to find every fault with him? What is it that you explicitly want to hear? Perhaps we can just copy and paste that back.
I mean, whether the answer to your question is YES or NO, how is that really going to help you? And do you sincerely believe that your question's answer is YES? If you do, I really think that entering into relationships via internet is simply putting yourself in direct danger. This has nothing to do with Muslim men or Islam or any religion for that matter.
Very appropriate response. Thank you!
Dear firefly , similar thing happened in your last post that by the time your question got posted your situation was resolved and you were content with your friend.
So there is no point to suggest anything.
You do appear a sensitive person with good heart but fear of unknown makes you jump to negative conclusions about him. Usually this is how internet relations finally end.
If you are happy and satisfied with him that's good HOWEVER as a fellow muslim I'm deeply disappointed at his actions. His behavior is disgrace for muslim men. Cyber sex, premarital friendships !
May Allah bestow his forgiveness on Muslims and lead them to righteous path Amen.