As someone 10 years older than you who went through similar worries around the same time I can only tell you a few things, learn to be greatful for these next 5 years or you'll regret it wishing you did this and that because if you dont snap out of it now while your young you'll be living in a cycle of anxiety and depression in the future, my advise is to focus on your deen and leave it to Allah not your desire for female love because love isnt something which is easily unconditional or ever lasting and the only type of love valid is loving for the sake of Allah, which makes relationships pointless, if you want someone you can only take the decision to approach the females guardians, now if you focused on your deen your character you will inshaAllah meet brothers on the same wave length and through them would be better to make enquiries as such because from what I've experienced from other brothers who trully practicing found their wives through a path of dependency on Allah whilst en route to bettering themselves and , , second of all even if you dont do anything sexually seeing these women doesnt mean its halal and having relationships before marraige for muslims dont work out good alot of the times because the initial sin feeds into marriage if yourself and your wife dont ask for forgiveness sincerely for having a relationship, will teach you so you ain't got no choice for you to listen, alot of the tests and punishment develop into your marraige if you ain't approach it in a pure manner and believe me you can have cars money and even be a nice guy but if your shadow leaves you she can leave you, if you love a woman more than the laws that have been laid out for you best believe you will be tested on that, so my view is, search for agency jobs in your city even if its warehouse work and work like a machine, work for the sake of Allah and any job you get even if its crap make the most of it leave a good impression of your character hardwork and deen, pray to Allah for a righteous organised wife before you love someone and next thing you know they dont know how to be a wife or a mother.
A salaam wa alaikum,
As someone 10 years older than you who went through similar worries around the same time I can only tell you a few things, learn to be greatful for these next 5 years or you'll regret it wishing you did this and that because if you dont snap out of it now while your young you'll be living in a cycle of anxiety and depression in the future, my advise is to focus on your deen and leave it to Allah not your desire for female love because love isnt something which is easily unconditional or ever lasting and the only type of love valid is loving for the sake of Allah, which makes relationships pointless, if you want someone you can only take the decision to approach the females guardians, now if you focused on your deen your character you will inshaAllah meet brothers on the same wave length and through them would be better to make enquiries as such because from what I've experienced from other brothers who trully practicing found their wives through a path of dependency on Allah whilst en route to bettering themselves and , , second of all even if you dont do anything sexually seeing these women doesnt mean its halal and having relationships before marraige for muslims dont work out good alot of the times because the initial sin feeds into marriage if yourself and your wife dont ask for forgiveness sincerely for having a relationship, will teach you so you ain't got no choice for you to listen, alot of the tests and punishment develop into your marraige if you ain't approach it in a pure manner and believe me you can have cars money and even be a nice guy but if your shadow leaves you she can leave you, if you love a woman more than the laws that have been laid out for you best believe you will be tested on that, so my view is, search for agency jobs in your city even if its warehouse work and work like a machine, work for the sake of Allah and any job you get even if its crap make the most of it leave a good impression of your character hardwork and deen, pray to Allah for a righteous organised wife before you love someone and next thing you know they dont know how to be a wife or a mother.