Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Arranged marriage proposal

Assalamuwalikum dear friends

I am in a very difficult situation. Please help me with ur opinions please..

I am an unmarried girl, working as an engineer in an MNC, I got a marriage proposal last year, it was the first marriage proposal n I saw pic of the guy and liked him instantly, somuch tat I started dreaming about him day n night, his parents came down with their relatives to see me and liked me, then they made us both meet in a shopping mall in there presence, I fell in love even deeper after seeing him n knowing him, we started chatting on FB and WhatsApp, Al of sudden after 1 week of chat he spoke to his mother that he likes me n wanna marry me she said ok fine.

But d very next day guy's mom changed her mind overnight , she was against it now, saying I don't like d girl's family, I was broken n shattered he said he can't go against his parents n we broke up in just a week

After that I was depressed I couldn't just let him go, I called him after 2 days and cried that "can't u convince them? I just can't live without u" he was depressed too he told he loves me too but his mom is very adamant she can't be convinced, so we decided to let it go. My depression continued I was crying day n night in pain that my dream was not fulfilled by Allah.

After 2 days he messaged me on FB asking if I was fine, I cried wit joy that he came back to me n said "I can't live without u, I love u" he told he will convince his parents somehow n we started chatting n spkng day n night, we met too, kissed each other and became intimate (not sex).

The day came wen he spoke to his parents again n this time there was lot of drama at his home n his mom told she would die if he marries me, he gave up on me and let me go as he loved his mom more than me.i was shattered again felt suicidal but I loved my parents and Allah alot, so I found peace in namaz n sujood.

I begged him to stay cos I was so much attached to him, he said ok will be in touch till u get over me.. an year passed and my parents started looking for other proposals, I told him that I cannot marry anyone else, he told it's all written we cannot change our destiny, I rejected many proposals for him, I used to cry day n night in namaz asking Allah to somehow change his mother mind, but nothing changed, his mom was still same. I got a very good proposal and my marriage will be fixed in few months, but I still love this guy from bottom of my heart, I asked forgiveness from Allah during ramzan for the physical intimacy I had with him. I don't know what to do..

Will I be able to marry someone else and forget this guy.. I don't know.. I feel I will go mad.. please tell me what should I do.. please friends help me.. please I need ur opinions, I'm in very difficult situation..


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4 Responses »

  1. You really got so invested in this man within a week of meeting him that he has the power to make you depressed and miserable? Sister, stop being so easy. It should not take one week and one meeting for you to fall deeply in love with someone - you don't even know this guy.

    Also, the fact that you now know his mother is somewhat of a manipulative psycho should be alarm bells. It should tell you that this isn't a good family to marry in to. Just let it go and stop wasting your energy on this guy and his family. The more you beg his mother to accept you, the more likely she's going to think lower of you. I suspect she might be doing all of this to you to break you so much apart that she knows she's going to be able to control you once you marry her son. You are acting desperate enough as it is, just stop it already. There are literally millions of other men in this world.

  2. Your parents were right to make you meet a potential husband. However the context of the meet was completely inappropriate. You should have sat down in the lounge of either yours or his house with adults present (parents, grandparents or older siblings).

    There should be no communication on a personal level prior to marriage.

    Why am I advising this? So you advice these very awkward situations like the OPs.

    OP needs to stop living in a fairy tale world and toughen up, if it's not a marriage that's meant to happen, then it's not meant to happen. You will find another proposal come your way if this falls through. But don't act desperate.

  3. Plz reD DROOD SHARIF and ISTEGHFAAR in this way you can able to forget him and making dua that ALLAH help you to forget him thanks pray for me

  4. That guy is a weak idiot. He is not fit to be head of a family. Thank Allah and marry someone good, who will be a strong and smart protector and provider for you.
    Stop talking to this current guy, he is just stringing you along for fun. If he cant marry you, he should have the moral strength to let you go peacefully. He is not sincere to his mother and not sincere to you. Shameful guy. And shameful behavior from you too sister, such relations are not allowed in Islam. Repent and start a new life with full passion and happiness

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