Bad situation for marriage
My nikkah ceremony held in April 2015 but me and my husband were living separately after that. I was deeply in love with my husband after my nikkah and I wanted to live with him {he was living in another country} at any cost. I recently moved in with him i.e 1 month ago. But now I have come to know he was fond of web cam sex, blue movies and I can't imagine of what else. I'm nothing like that and very disappointed in him. I'm losing love and respect for him.
I have lost everything I had before as I was so deeply in love with him that nothing mattered. Now I'm penniless and I can't see any future for myself.
I want to know what Islam says about this situation.
Confusedwife33
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Sister your not alone. Many of our husbands have been seduced by the cyber sex. Either you can bring it up in conversation or maybe try subtle things like making the desktop an Islamic verse, even putting Qur'an and Islamic materials close by where the computer is used. Also leaving open lectures about the punishment for watching these things. Maybe it will let him know that you know about it, and make him think twice. Inshallah khair sister. Above all pray to Allah swt.
WELL SPEAK YOUR MIND .TELL HIM THAT SUCCESS IS IN OBEYING ALLAH'S COMMANDMENTS AND FOLLOWING THE TEACHINGS OF MUHAMMAD PBUH. OTHER THEN THIS YOUR LIFE OR ANY MUSLIM WILL BE A RIGHT OFF.YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE .YOU ARE MUSLIM BUT YOU NEED A SOLID FOUNDATION .IMAN IS A PRECIOUS DIAMOND IT JUST NEEDS POLISHING.WHEN IMAN IS CORRECT THEN YOU KNOW THAT THE HELP OF ALLAH IS WITH YOU WERE EVER YOU GO.YOU WILL UNDERSTAND. THAT GOD TEST YOU IN EVERYWAY and that we should learn patience! Learn to read quran daily that will give you noor peace happiness and walk this earth blessed provided we fullfill Allah's orders to the best we can..GO to mosque were sisters are .Enviroment is very important.Marriage is serious because we have to look at the future of are children's .Iman first then duniya.If he doesn't understand then you can divorce .you have your rights. If there is questions ask mufti MENK.
Salam alaikum sister,
I am sorry to hear about your husband's infidelity. 1) First step is to sit him down just after he has prayed and read some Quran with him pertaining to his crimes against you. DO NOT hint that you know his crimes before or while you read aloud.
2) Then afterwards, talk to him (ideally you should be sitting side by side, so that you both feel on the same level). Tell him that you love him deeply and ask him to stop. Give him an ultimatum if you have to, saying that you will go to an Imam and ask for intervention unless he stops all his side-sex. Ask him if there is something that he wishes you to do in the bedroom to help guide him away from his bad habits.
3) If you already told him that you know about his crimes, then try step 2 again.
4) If he keeps doing his bad habits, then you have a choice: A. Divorce him on grounds of cheating and adultury. B. Talk to your parents and have them talk to your husband with you. This may either scare your husband straight or cause him to ask for separation or divorce.
5) Most important, pray dua istikhara before you take destructive action to your marriage and look for His answer in daily life, unhindered by dreams or fortune tellers or superstitions.
Salams sister,
Shereen
OP: But now I have come to know he was fond of web cam sex, blue movies and I can't imagine of what else. I'm nothing like that and very disappointed in him. I'm losing love and respect for him....... I was so deeply in love with him that nothing mattered.
Do you guys have a normal sexual relationship? If he can have normal sex, why would he go for web cam sex or blue movies? For some people I think this web cam sex or sex movies may be a substitute for lack of normal sex outlet.
If you have money problem try to find a job.