Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Betrayed by a family friend, now my family is furious with me

Betrayal by a loved one is one of the most difficult experiences in life.

Salam Alekum,

I need help. I am so alone. I trusted this guy who first started and asked me to marry him. He is one of the family friends. I fell for his sweet words and i trusted him. No one knew about us and he said he will tell his parents after we are both ready for marriage. I had no bad intentions, my only mistake was that i trusted him and kept on talking to him on the phone and yahoo.

One day, i cannot even imagine he said everything to my cousin and my cousins told my uncle's family until it got passed to my family. Worst night i could ever have, so upseting and aggressive. Everybody was shocked and angry on me. I could not defend myself, i could not say anything, i just put my head down and listened to each one of them.

Deep down i could not believe that the guy had done to me. I swear if he just called me and had told me that i no longer want this relationship, lets end it for good, i would happily put an end to it. I just was with him because i thought he wanted me and that he wanted to marry me.

Now i do not know what is going to happen. I always pray but these days i pray all the time, read Quran. I do not sleep at night, i just cry and pray, i got betrayed. I cant even sleep, i am so worried about my family reputation, no body knows except the guy, my uncle's family and my family but i am scared because my father said that he will go and kill this guy and everything else. This way they going to make the situation worst, my family's name will be at risk.

I don't know how to tell this to my father. I want to die. This weekend my uncle's family is going to come over and my father is going to sit down with my cousin and ask him everything and if he said that yes this and that happend, then he will do something. I am scared, i do not want any lose because of me, i can never ever be able to live any more.

- Yeh Alive


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5 Responses »

  1. Salaams,

    I want to make sure that I and anyone else who reads your post is understanding you right: you are in trouble for talking to someone online under the idea you both were moving toward marriage? And for this your uncle and father want to harm this person? Or was there something more in detail that was said that is causing their extreme reaction? In order for any of us to give the best advice, a clearer picture of what exactly is going on would be helpful.

    -Amy
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  2. My reaction is the same as Amy's. Your family is way, way overreacting. They must be thinking that you have committed zinaa with this guy or some such. You need to speak up and let them know that nothing serious happened.

    Or maybe there's some other fact that we are missing? Maybe you are 15 and the guy is 50? Or did the guy lie on you and claim that you did more than talk?

    Wael
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  3. All the praises belong to Allah swt ,indeed i agree with akhi wael that you should not feel urself that you have committed any major sin.Indeed it was wrong to inculcate thie relations from everyones back but you should also be grateful to Allah azzwajal that he saved you from committing zinah. your prayers , reading Qur'an saved you and realised you of the reality

    In line to this psychopath he wanted to put down your family (may be oout of jealousy or something else).

    You should say to your parents every single truth that he approached you and like you and u wanted to say this to your family but he made you stopped SAYING THAT FIRST HE WILL SPREAD THIS TO HIS PARENTS EARS.

    Sometime sister sitting quite though committing no sin can make others perceive that you are an offender.

    May Allah be with you . And read the dua from surah taha verse 25-28 which prophet musa a.s prayed before going to give dawah toh Pharoah

    It will inshallah ease your tongue and make ur words understandable to others heart

    May Allah be with you ameen and beware always.Especially from those who sound sweet becuase no bad person will say that he is bad.

  4. Yeh Alive

    hmmmm... Assalam Mualaikum dontwry evrything will be alrite just pray for allah n keep on reaing quran and when those people talk about u anything wrong just be reading darood autamatically some miracle happens and not even a spot will be on ur daman there mouths will be shut and i feel that guy is not rite for u know u say the truth in front of all and stand against him and say ur not interested to marry him know and u dont love him anymore its going to hurt him and he is going to learn from this that not betray any girls feelings and her emotions and respect womens in each n every situation and when speak truth in front of ur family they will surely help u insha allah faal on ur parents feet n tell everything once trust me its going to work out say whatever he used to proporse u impress u and say ur parents after all ur aa human being even u have a heart and it has taken a wrong decision soo insha allah everything will be solved

    Almas

  5. What exactly did he say ?, give us more detail so you can get the best response, but never blame yourself as in many cases you indeed could be the victim.

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