Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My boyfriend is Muslim, I’m Christian, and we cannot convince his family

I think I would feel excluded if we married in a mosque

I have been dating my boyfriend for 2 years now, and he's Muslim and I'm Christian. We have had a lot of trouble trying to convince his and my family that we really are devoted towards our love for each other.

In the future we hope to get married but we don't know how. I don't want to get married in a mosque because I will feel like an outcast. Would we read from the Qu'ran?

Tagged as: , , , , , , , ,

85 Responses »

  1. Peace!

    Hopefully I can shed a little light on your situation. First off, dating in Islam is forbidden. Secondly, any physical(sexual or otherwise) is a sin. Your boyfriend should know this. How old are both of you?

    You mentioned not being able to convince both set's of parents how devoted you are to each other. His parents may see you as someone taking their son away from his religion. Based on what you have written I can see why his parents would feel this way. At the same time your parents are probably afraid that you are being pulled away from them into a religion that they know nothing about. It's possible all they know about Islam is what they have heard or read in the news, most of which is not true.

    You say that you don;t want to get married in a mosque. Has he even talked to you about marriage in Islam? Has he ever spoken to you at all about Islam? If he has not spoken to you about it, no wonder you have a fear of getting married in a mosque.

    You need to have a serious talk with him. Ask him about Islam. Ask him how the children would be raised should you get married. Both sets of parents have reason for concern.

    Abdul Wali Editor

    • I agree with brother Abdul Wali. If being married in a mosque would make you feel like an outcast, then you clearly have some apprehensions or reservations about your husband's religion. Wouldn't asking him to be married in a church be equally isolating for him? It sounds like you have a lot of communicating to do, and it's critical that you work out in advance the issues that Abdul Wali mentioned. I have never known a Muslim who did not want and expect his children to be raised as Muslims, so that may be a sticking point for you, I don't know.

      It may turn out that in spite of your feelings for each other, you are not truly compatible.

      Wael Editor

      • I don't think that its that she has any apprehensions about the religion.... Personally, if i was in a similar situation i would have felt the same way. I would be worried not about how i feel but about the way other mosque members (if thats what you call it) might view us... i might even feel a little awkward about it since people (in general) tend to act 'differently' to people they believe don't 'belong' with them.

    • i am in a similar situation as this person but its a bit too much to type. Can u plz contact me?

      • Stacy, please log in and write your question as a separate post. If it's very long, try to summarize it.

        Wael Editor

    • Hello Abdul,

      I am in a familiar situation. Nabil and I met each other in November 2012 in UAE and I live in USA. We have been in a relationship since then, but its long distance. (rest of the comment has been deleted)

  2. Run away from this. My friend has been in hell for over 20 yrs because her Muslim fiance lied to her about how her life would be. The romantic love you feel now will not be enough to overcome how his family feels or yours either. Remember, you will marry the families when you marry.

    You will never be "good enough" in their eyes. My friend's husband tells her she will go to hell. He hits her and the child, when he was little. He is a horrible person hiding under his religion to abuse them. Not that Islam teaches such things, but it does say to beat and starve your wife if she doesn't do what you want her to do.

    No, don't do it! Walk away and be friends instead. It is not good for either of you.

    My friend has been abandoned now while he lives happily with his brother.
    She is over 60, hasn't worked in years because he asked her to leave her work. She is ill and so is their son, but he doesn't care and neither does his family.
    Is that what you want?

    • Jill, your comments are inaccurate and rooted in ignorance. Islam absolutely does not teach husbands to beat and starve their wives, that's outrageous. And I'm sorry that your friend had a bad experience, but it had nothing to do with religion. If your description is accurate, then your friend married a bad man. Do you think that some non-Muslims don't also abuse their wives and children? If that's what you think, then you haven't been paying much attention to the news.

      Family abuse is not an issue of religion, but of good and bad character.

      And why are you projecting all of this onto this couple? She says they are in love, and she gives no indication of any abuse or misconduct. Don't project your bitterness or bigotry onto others.

      Wael Editor

    • There are Christian, Jewish, atheist, Buddhist (etc) husbands who are abusive toward their spouses, whose families aren't accepting of their wives. Saying it's something Islam teaches or that Muslims do is terribly racist.

    • Hi Jill,
      I dont want to comment on your response given, however I would definitely like to tell you that Islam does not encourage beating of ones wife. The sentence "but it does say to beat and starve your wife if she doesn't do what you want her to do", has a different and in-depth which is usually misunderstood as Islam encouraging wife beating. Islam does not encourage beating of wife and it gives equal rights to wife and husband.
      However I will accept that the person your friend got married to is a bad person.
      One more thing as per Islam you cannot marry a girl unless she accepts Islam, marrying a non muslim is considered to be a sin.

    • I have a muslim bf too and im a christian but i am willing to give up my christianity into an IsLam because i cant see there's nothing wrong with this religion, besides not all Muslims are bad as what u're thinking, i just do believed that it really depends upon the person! So stop being bias my dear

    • Hey i agree with you Jill.. i see it happen all the time.. and within my own family and friends especially muslim men to white women in the UK. It is pretty awful. Wael, what i speak is the truth what i witness on a daily basis. There are good and bad people in every culture, religion but when its marrying out of religion.. it causes too many problems which effects families and children. Just "love" is not a reason to marry in different religions when both families do not agree. Aint we supposed to kiss grounds our parents walk on and listen to their words? Religion is your connection to God, and changing just for Love for a man and not Love for God is ridiculous and insulting.

  3. I am going through a similar crisis. My boyfriend and I are head over heels in love, have been together 15 months... but we have never even kissed or held hands. We want to be married someday soon.

    The problem is that we are both young. He is 20 years old and his parents expect him to marry an Islamic girl. They have pre-judged me based on my white skin, blonde hair, and Christian upbringing. They refuse to hear anything about me. And because he is dependent on them (he's still in University), they hold all the cards.

    I am willing to learn about Islam, even though I am very rooted in my Catholic faith. I am even willing to be married in a mosque and teach our children about Islam -- this is all for his parents sake. He is perfectly willing to raise our children Catholic, and even consider converting to Catholicism - but for the sake of our love, I want to do this.

    What can we do to make his parents see how much we love each other? What can we do to prevent them tearing us apart?

    • Hi,

      You say your boyfriend is willing to convert to catholicism and rear the kids with this idealogy. This will definitely alienate his parents even more from the idea of your union. I can understand why his parents are against the idea of you. It won't be anything to do with your physical colouring but rather you leading their son to eternal damnation for possibly giving up his faith.

      At the end of the day a Muslim man is permitted to marry a Christian but the children should be raised as Muslim. However, I don't think catholic qualifies as it has many sinful practises such as idolatry and the whole blasphemy concept.

      His parents need to get him away from you. Love can be a mistake.

      • That was a very judgmental and cruel response. I never asked him to convert. This is something he wanted to do for my family, the same as I am willing to do it for his. Additionally, his parents know nothing of this. They have never met me. All they know is that I am blonde and Christian. Anyone who is not Muslim is not okay with them.

        Love is never wrong. It is beautiful and of God.

        I came here looking for answers on how I might overcome what I was raised to believe, and exploring Islam for the sake of my marriage. Your response has simply pushed me father away from that.

        • Hi Jenna,

          I appreciate that you are willing to learn about Islam. I think that you will find many similarities between the two religions. At the same time there are some differences.

          Jenna, here are a couple of things you should know. First of all, what his family is probably thinking is that you are taking their son away from Islam. Also there are cultural aspects that come into play concerning marrying within their own culture. You might be surprised to find out that many of us would be rejected too because we are not of the same culture or race. This is not what Islam is about but people do it anyway.

          Here is another thing you should know. The family plays a major role in determining who their children marry. They can't force the child to marry someone either he/she does not like, although it does happen. But the parents are there to guide them and help them make proper choices. As Muslim's we are taught to respect our parents wishes and do what they say as long as what they are telling us does not go against the teachings of Islam.

          One of the requirements for a Muslim man to marry a non Muslim woman is that she be chaste. Meaning that she has not had sexual relations before. As a Christian you know that sex before marriage is prohibited. The other is that she be someone of the book.( either Christian of Jewish). So it is permissible for a Muslim man to marry a non Muslim woman as long as she meets the requirements I spoke about.

          Another thing you should know is that I have never met a Muslim man who married a non Muslim who didn't care if the children were raised Muslim or not. If you were to get married and have children, more than likely he would want the children to be raised Muslim and his family would expect it.

          What about your own family? What would they say? Have you spoken to them about your choice to marry him? Do you think that they would be open to you marrying a Muslim man? At 20 we think with our hearts and sometimes not with our heads.That doesn't mean it's always bad either. How do I know, I was once a 20 something living in the US.

          Jenna, I just wanted to give you an understanding of what may be going on withing his family and what Islam says. I could have gone into more detail but I wanted to keep it simple.

          I can't tell you what to do to change their minds. Even if you met all of the requirements they still might say no.

          In the mean time I would say still learn about Islam. I wasn't always a Muslim. I was born a Christian and converted to Islam. I am the only one in my family who is Muslim. I try to teach them whenever I can and we still have a great relationship. It's the best thing that ever happened to me.

          I'm sorry I couldn't help with your exact question but I hope that I was able to give you a little insight into what is going on.


          Abdul Wali Carter

  4. am 27 year’s Old Christian and I have a Pakistani Muslim boyfriend for 3yrs. Am so in love but we are facing lots of difficulties his parents don’t accept me because am non- Muslim. I don’t discriminate their religion or culture but I do have an impediment becoming a Muslim I would like to learn first before making such decision, I honestly think that a religion no matter which, is something that needs respect I can’t just become Muslim from night to morning when I was born and race as a catholic. I don’t have a problem if my kids become Muslim, who knows after I have kids if a start learning and practicing the religion. But my issues consist in their decision I think is unfair and selfish from their side not wanting to meet me and just pressure my Bf to break up with me or choose. I wouldn’t let him choose between me and them because that is his family but I love him and I really don’t know what to do I want to be with him the rest of my life but I don’t want him to leave his family god forbid we have kids it would be unfair from my side to raise them without grandparents because of my decision they’ll probably be empty for not receiving their love. One thing I’ll never understand is that if in Quran says a Muslim could get married with a non-Muslim Christian and Jewish why Muslim parents make it so hard especially if we are in America.

  5. Hi Linda,

    Please read my post to Jenna above. I think you might get a better understanding of what the parents may be thinking and what some of the requirements are for a Muslim man to marry a non Muslim woman.

    I do appreciate that you don't feel that you can convert to Islam from one day to the next without first doing some research. Understand one thing, you should never convert because you are feeling pressured to do so. When you accept Islam as your religion it should come from your heart, not because you want to please your boy friend. When a woman or man converts for that reason, most of the time it will not work because you have entered into the religion for the wrong reason. You have to do it for the love of Allah(God). When I accepted Islam as my religion it wasn't done over night. I did my research and over time my heart was softened and I took the step without any reservations.

    Linda, what you should do is learn as much about Islam as you can. Don't listen to what you hear on TV because most of it is false. Once you have a good understanding of the religion then make your decision.

    I hope I helped a little.


    Abdul Wali Carter Editor

  6. Hi, Abdul Wali

    Thanks for your help It really helped me..

  7. i have a similar problem. iam a english girl and have been seeing a work collegue who happens to be muslim for the last 6 months! we had been working together for a while and never really talked until he found out that he was going to pakistan to get married! it all started from there we would stay behind at work for hours just talking about our lives and how unhappy we both were with the way it was going! he told me that he had once been in prison and it had brought shame on the family and he also married a muslim girl that he feel for the natural way, but the marriage fell through it only lasted a few months which angered his family all the more! so this arrange marriage that was being organized for him he felt like he had to do it just make his family happy with him again! i was also getting married but was having second thoughts! as time passed we really feel for one another he told some of his family about how he felt and i can tell you they was far from impressed! so we both got married but we still continued seeing each other and still are to this day! we have both been married for 10 weeks now and he is divorcing his wife from pakistan as he dosnt want her as he says and iam divorcing my husband! we want to be together as we make each other happy! he doesnt want me to convert as hes happy with who iam, the only problem we have is getting everyone else to understand which is proving to be difficult! my family dont have a problem they just want me to be happy but his family have said that they will dissowne him if he shaks up with a white girl!

    we have disscused everything from where we would live be married and what religion our children will follow and we have decided that it would be a mosque and i will learn and our children will follow islam! as long as you are proud to stand together and stand with the family and you are happy thats the only thing that should matter! yeah we might not of done things the right way and we may of made mistakes on the way but we love each other and thats all that matters to us! i dont see him as a faliure like his family do im proud of him for choosing his future instead of it being made for him! so you should do what ever you want and what makes you happy! your families will come around eventually when they see how happy you make each other! good luck x

  8. salam
    in islam there`s no relationship such as boyfriend or girlfriend ... and islam says no one can maried non-Muslim, that means anyone who does not believe Allah is only one God. and yr relegioun beleive that there`s many gods so this relationship should be stop cz ther`s no love more important than love for Allah.

    if u really love him you should follew his relegioun cz this is the only solution islam why i tell u that cz after maried your life it`s gonna be very difficult why cz diffrent relegioun it`s simple ...

    • Salaams,

      Telling this woman if she really loves the man then she should follow his religion is not the correct reason for becoming a Muslim. The sister should not revert to Islam in order to secure this man as her husband. Rather it must be for the sake of Allah, otherwise the intention is not sincere. Also let there be no complusion in religion. The sister must not feel that she is compelled to become a Muslim in order to marry this man.

      Of course if our Muslim brothers refrained from fornicating and remained chaste, these problems wouldn't exist. Thus who would be debating about marrying non-Muslims? However bear in mind that it is permissable for a Muslim man to marry a chaste woman from Ahl Al Kitab- a Christian or a Jew. But I would say it is better for them to opt for a Muslim woman as they share the same beliefs and would not encounter too many conflicts with regards to their family.

      • @Hopeful: If God says it is okay to marry a woman from any of the Abrahamic religions, then who are you to say what is best?

        Just an update. My fiance and I are marrying in a mosque. I am converting to Islam as I feel led to do so. I have prayed about this for months and it feels right and true to me. Once I learned that Islam accepts Jesus as Messiah that was enough for me. Giving up Jesus was the hardest thing for me to accept about leaving Christianity, but once I realized I didn't have to do so, all was well.

        Thank you for your answers, even those that weren't so nice.


        • Hello Jenna,

          I am really happy for you. Congratulations!

          I am currently in a similar situation, the difference is it's the other way around. Her family is the problem. I am Muslim, she's Christian, and her mother is not willing to accept me. I have not had a good day for months and months, thinking over and over, I even forgot what a smile feels like.

          I am praying, day and night, and I hope that one day it is going to happen, because faith is all that I have left.


    • You say if she really loves him she should change to islam, well what about him loving her he should change, you are biased and talk nonsense, changing religion should not be about out doing eachothers love, personally i wish that religion didn't get in the way of love.

  9. i do agree with the person that says that when you are married, you marry the two families. i know in the western cultures, we think about ourselves, and our lives, and our descisions. in eastern cultures, the marriage, the child's job, and even sometimes every little descision is not an individual's. others decide with/for them. i read somewhere once that the 3 top reasons for fighting in marriage or divorce (i can't remember which one sorry) was money, sex, and in-laws. and this is happening in western countries where in-laws don't even live with you and you have your own independent life as a couple. now imagine how bad it would be with in-laws from a completely different culture where they are supposed to have influence over many descisions in the person's life. think wisely before you marry, you are not going to be marrying only him.

  10. Dear Neek and readers,

    We all must differentiate between culture, social demographic and religion.

    To western Christian, Islamic law might seems to put women as inferior.
    To middle eastern Muslim, Christian life seems offer too much freedom in relationship.

    I am Christian women living in an Islamic Country and I have many Muslim friends.

    The facts are :
    - There are always men everywhere who treats women badly, regardless their religion. Including some Muslim men who justify their infidelity to the religion's law. It's not abt religion, it's the person. Not all Muslims are like that.
    - There are a lot of free sex practices everywhere regardless what religion they are. Including some Christians but that doesn't make it right in the eyes of the bible. Not all Christian are like that.

    Some friends in this dialogue seems to againts the word "boyfriend/girlfriend" exist in Islam rules. The fact is "boyfriend/girlfriend" is a well-known term about 2 people who fancy each other. There shouldn't any physical involvement in it.
    I do know a lot of Muslims guy and girls who are boyfriends and girlfriends. Let's just say it's a trendy terms as friends who fancy each other.

    Any interfaith marriage and or any interculture marriage has its own controversy.

    I personally have a muslim friend in which I fancy. We've known each others and abliously put interest on each other for more than 8 years. We remains friends but we didn't have the courage to get married, to deal that our children one day need to choose which religion to be taught.

    I learn a little each day about Islam. He learn a little each day about Christianity. But yet religion is not only a teaching, it's a belief.

    For us it's like a constant dialogue. And the most vulnerable part is when you have problem, don't blame on your cultural or religious differences.

    Still I recommend for friends whose still in very early stage of interfaith relationship to be wise. Don't let yourself live in confusion. Be aware from the begining of the consequences.

    In the end you must have "peace" to youself about the differences and on how families and friends' reactions.

    If you must choose ... Be wise to choose

  11. I am a muslim boy, I have been educated in islam and seek some guidance. I understand that realtionships between two people are not allowed, I like someone who is off a different culture and religion. She is a christian and makes it clear she wants to convert once she has finished her education as she would be able to commit herself more to Islam than she would be able to now
    I have studied islam with her, helping her to understand areas where she may find some difficulty and discussed any questions she has.

    My question is that 'does islam say anything about not being allowed to marry someone who your arents do not like/ agree to you being with them.'
    my parents keep pressuring me to leave her, and generally use the steriotype argument. She is very different from what they say, but they are not willing to meet her..

    Secondly I am currently dependant upon my family as I am still in education. I have been confused, upset and lost for a few months seeking guidance and answers.
    I eagerly anticipate your response

  12. Im in the same problem, and i love my boyfriend alot but trust me sometyms even small arguements even turn out to be huge fights coz of the differences, its going to be a disaster. No matter how much you love each other this will definetely create a problem for you if not him in future. tBt this point of tym u wont understand and will wnat to listen to your heart bu trust it would be best if u leve this decision on your parents.Becuz if u leave everything for him and in future GOD 4BID anything turns bad u'll be left with no on. so do keep your family involved please.

  13. now this seems like 1 good relationship In everyother comment that i read every girl is ready to convert. rspect all religions equally but i really dont understand y do they want others to convert.If you love someone accept him/her the way he is.
    and now as far as your qs was concerned see if u both love each other, you both respect each others religion, and you can teach both religions to your kids i think its good enuf. i knw the only difficulty is convincing your parents try hard just the way im doing cus even i dont want to hurt them. try to explain it to them that non of the religions are bad or teach wrong every religion has good or bad people and parents wnt their kids to be happy so if ure happy with someone no matter what the religion is u'll be happy with him.
    Im sure they will understand somehow.
    Dont depress ur self more on this just try convincing ur parents and then take the decision.
    God Bless

  14. I am 18 and my boyfriend will be 20 soon. I am catholic and my boyfriend is lebanese, muslim. He can't tell his parents about me because of religion. My parents know him and accept him and love him because I do he is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I love him with all my heart. I never met his parents before and he says someday they will love me but will they love me if I am not muslim? do we have a future ? I am so confused and concerned sure I am young but i see a future with him already. We have been dating for a year and 5 months. I do not know what to do my mind is going crazy. Do we break up and stay friends ?

  15. Why did you take my comment away? Was my question something that Islam cannot answer. Maybe this means you need to study the Bible and the Koran together and see what coincidences with the Bible or do they really teach two different things? The God of the Bible is a different one then of the Koran.

    • Melissa, your comments did not present any challenge. I deleted your comment because you are not here to contribute or to learn, but to preach your religion. This is an Islamic website. We advise people based on the teachings of Islam. If you disagree with the Islamic faith that's your right, and there are forums and websites where interfaith debate is allowed. This is not one of them.

      By the way, I think you are sadly misinformed about Islam, and I would encourage you to learn from genuine Islamic sources, rather than parroting nonsense that you have heard in anti-Islamic forums. God is One. There is no "God of the Bible" and "God of the Quran". If you worship Jesus (peace be upon him) then indeed you are committing a great injustice against God, The Creator, The Eternal, The One and indivisible, who was not born, and has no offspring.

      Wael Editor

  16. look. muslim are kind persons. they will not discriminate you, if they do then do not mind them cause, in our religion, dating is not allowed but if you maried each other then you and your boyfriend would not be commiting a sin anymore. and this way you could help your guy. but if i am to be asked, it's better if you became muslim too, but not for the guy but for yourself. im not a good worshipper yet but i do know that our religion can provide you a peaceful world here and in the here after if you become a good muslim. remember, what you are doing not is giving your guy a sin and yourself too, but if you marry then he would not commit a sin anymore, and if you became a muslim then you will be rewarded and so is your guy. remember in our religion, Allah or our god is merciful so he will surely guide your way if you really wanted to become his follower, or believer. i hope you ead my comment. and i hope you become a muslim for your own good too.

  17. I have a a problem as well my boyfriend is Muslim and I'm catholic. He told me everything about his family and islam. I know dating is forbidden but We met at work and it was love at first sight I fell in love hard and so did he. But now he worries me because he told his mom to met me but doesn't want too. I'm willing to convert I learn how to pray and also read the quran! I want to address this to his parents maybe they well welcoming me more. But he worries because if his dad finds out he said he will kick him out of the family. I love him so much I don't want to loose him what should I say to convince his parents?? Especially his dad.

  18. I am an 18 year old Christian woman. My boyfriend is a 20 year old Muslim man, we have been dating for over two and a half years and yes I know dating is prohibited in muslim culture. My boyfriends parents are very religious and he is religious himself but not as strict as them. His parents know about me and they didn't accept me at first I would get threatening calls from them I would get yelled at and sworn at over the phone and it's clear his parents were very against this. Now years later I have met his mom even though she doesn't really talk she is more accepting of me. I have met his dad once for a few minutes but his dad is very strict. It confuses me because his parents went from hating me to telling my boyfriend two days ago that he needs to get engaged to me because what he's doing by dating me is haram which I get. But their talking about him buying a house and starting a family with me but I'm still very confused about the islam religion. My boyfriend doesn't really talk to much about religion because he believes as long as he is pure in his heart and knows right from wrong Allah will always be there for him. And I am the same way with my religion. I don't follow each and every single verse in the bible but I believe I know what's good and what's bad and at the end of the day even if I have sinned I have lived my life as an innocent and honest person and I know his parents along with him would want me to convert to islam but I don't know enough about it and can't a Muslim man marry a Christian woman? Why do I have to convert to Islam? Or why would they want me to when it says in the Quran that a Muslim man can marry a Christian woman? I know we would have to get married in a mosque and I know our children would be raised Muslim and I have no problems with any of these things but can't I remain a christian? I know that some of you will say "If you love your husband you would convert for him" and some will say "its not right if you convert for the wrong reasons. So why can't I remain a Christian and he remain a Muslim? I feel out of place converting to Islam and i feel as if my family would feel out of place as well if we have a Muslim wedding which I know we will have but I'd like to know how they are so I'm prepared because I know nothing of them and this is all new to me.

    • @Confused
      Please sign in and write your question as a separate post. Short answer is to walk away from this boyfriend of yours; only reason his parents accepting you as a wife (if you see it that way) is because they have no choice but to surrender in front of their son. Your boyfriend knows what is right and wrong in Islam, yet he does what is haram in Islam. Let me ask you a simple question, when you break a signal, you know it's wrong. Right! Do you get away by just saying that you know it was wrong without getting punished. Laws are their for a reason, a Muslim is one who submits to Allah by his actions, choice he makes. And also, Islam is a religion not a culture; in my observation, such relationship most of the times end up in divorce or if they make it to the end then it requires A LOT from woman who is not only marrying someone of different religion, but a different culture and family system. Choice is yours, if in case you still chose to marry him then please read about Islam and what is expected of a wife and mother. That's the reason Muslim men are HIGHLY recommended to marry a Muslim woman even though they can marry a Christian or Jew (people of book; although their is more to this ruling in this day and age especially when such marriages take place where Muslims are not majority).


  19. hey
    i am a 19 year old christian girl and my boyfriend is a 23 year old muslim boy.

    Now i have that cleared!
    There is more to life than sitting down and debating about religion. RELIGION is a personal belief and should not be forced upon other peoples life.

    1. Families who interfere with relationships should not, because although the books do talk about respecting and honouring your family, it also does state that individuals would be judged upon his/her own doings and works. Your dad and mum judged for their actions and yours for yours!

    2. Each person makes there own decisions, and each person believes in what they believe in, i dont think someone should say "your going hell cos you believe in the wrong thing" because what makes you so sure that you have an ordained position in heaven? Are you God to judge?

    3. Lets put aside the notion of being patriarchal about our faith and learn to aspect and be tolerate...

    4. Yes, some of you may say "in Islam boyfriend/girlfriend is forbidden" and "Christians should marry only Christians" but you should just focus on your own lives and your own sins, and work with that, not any one person is the same, people make their own routes in life, so if you prefer to stick to your own religion...then do so.

    5. I am not going to sit here and preach to you about Jesus being the Saviour or Allah being the Almighty. If thats your belief then your counter part should accept that, and if they can't then they can find someone who is best suited. But families who interfere is wrong in doing so.

    6. My mum is strong Christian and my boyfriend dad/mum is a strong Muslim, however we are old enough to make our own decisions like they did in life. They never once interfered (except for my mum who took time to adjust) but my boyfriend and i are not looking to convert any time soon. And if ANYONE WAS TO JUDGE THIS THEN ONLY THE ALMIGHTY GOD CAN DO SO, NOT MAN. FOR NOW CHRISTIANITY IS THE WAY FOR ME, AND ISLAM FOR MY BOYFRIEND, IF THINGS WERE TO CHANGE THAT WOULD BE GOD DOING NOT MAN.

    7. Lets not live under the illusion that we are perfect, or live under the pretence that we follow the books from word to word. God sees behind the closed doors as well... so dont forget that! Dont think that cos i am around other muslims or christians i have to put on this righteous 'act' but once they turn their backs i am back to my sinful most vile ways. Just who are you pleasing? Man or God?

    8. Dont pretend to be something your not. Don't convert to please the other counterpart you are digging a depressing whole for yourself. My boyfriend has celebrated new years in my Church, and i celebrated ramadan in his Mosque, we both enjoyed the experience and who both noted what we liked about each others belief, and thats how life is: exploring and learning.

    I have had enough with all these preaching and debates on things that would never agree with each other. Take two magnets for example, negative and positive.... can positive and positive
    what about negative and negative, .... no? so lets understand that neither will christianity and islam, however positive and negative does attract right? And with ever relationship that is what you will get, a negative aspect and a positive.




    • While I can appreciate your attempt to bring attention to family acceptance between Muslims and Christians, you have chosen your own personal example as a poor one.

      Religion and belief are not distinct from each other, and trying to create a difference of the two is just an exercise in semantics. If you believe in a religion, then they go hand in hand. Where you err in your assessment is by making one fatal flaw in your discussion: the issue of adhering to its' practice.

      Of course, we all sin and no one indicated otherwise. The problem is whether we decide to persist in that sin while knowing better. If we leave the sin, then we are believing and practicing religious people. If not, then indeed, we have chosen to harm ourselves and break the covenant we have made with God. This is where you err in point 4, because as practicing Muslims, we must encourage the good and forbid the evil. In doing so, we choose to practice and believe in God's law, and thus to tell us otherwise is asking us to avoid our covenant with God. This is a fine practice and requires much understanding, but reading the posts here, no one made a comment that truly garnered your point and in fact, it damages your credibility and argument further, even among Christians.

      You see, no matter which religion you choose to believe in, you must practice the tenets to the best of your ability and remove the selfish ego from the equation. By "dating" you have failed to do so in both Christian and Islamic terms regarding adherence. Especially considering that anyone could take your point 7 and hold you to your own word and see how you fail to live up to that very point of yours', as well.

      On point 8, you come to the conclusion that life is about "exploring and learning," but that is a bit of naivete, as again, we come to the point of actually implementing religion's teachings through practice in its' guidelines. Life through religion is about submitting yourself to a greater cause and a greater being than yourself at all times whether you be Jewish, Christian or Muslim. Visiting a mosque under the guise of dating is still a sin nonetheless, though you may not understand this point effectively or choose to avoid it altogether.

      It seems that you have chosen to "choose" what you want to believe in and say, "I don't do religion!" That's the claim of the misguided atheist, agnostic and even extreme religious folk, as well, so it's not exactly exemplary company. You seem to have have drawn a clear distinction as to what you decide to practice and in effect, have made up your own religion to satisfy you own personal views while helping your boyfriend to do the same. This is not worship of God on a personal level, but worship of your own lower desires and ego, instead. And of course, you contradict yourself in your conclusion by your own fourth opening sentence.

      Not every relationship brings negativity and to think so is narcissistic. Again, a relationship, should combine the merits of the two to bring about only a positive union and in the case of religious people coming together, they are coming under the threshold of God's love, yet this only can be gained by being obedient to Him. Otherwise, you are trying to invent your own laws while seeking shelter with Him and thus, we run into your original problem of actually worshiping yourself and the ego within by not submitting to Him.

      It seems that you what you really wish to do in your post is to ride your high horse, say that others are doing so while avoiding your own saddle, and indeed preach likewise. The age old misnomer of pleading the opposite while carrying on with your preaching of your viewpoint is disingenuous at best. Likewise, your boyfriend has not chosen practice Islam while he dates, but only chooses what he wishes to validate of himself.

      Answering to that in front of God should not be as trivial as you make it seem. Far from it, in fact.

      • When i first read your comment i thought i was up for a challenge, then i re-read it and then thought otherwise.

        You stated below:

        "This is where you err in point 4, because as practicing Muslims, we must encourage the good and forbid the evil. In doing so, we choose to practice and believe in God's law, and thus to tell us otherwise is asking us to avoid our covenant with God. This is a fine practice and requires much understanding, but reading the posts here, no one made a comment that truly garnered your point and in fact, it damages your credibility and argument further, even among Christians."

        I had not told any Muslims or Christians to not practice there own religion, so to state this is taken my argument out of context, i merely pointed out my own personal viewpoint with religion. Furthermore, my argument was not addressed to those mentioned in the forum but more to a generic view of what i have seen and experienced from peoples behaviour. Additional to this, this forum was based predominately on a person who seeks help with their relationship and this was my own personal response to it.

        In respect to point 7, how have i not lived up to it? When in actual fact there is nothing to live up to, I merely addressed that living a double life for the sake of your peers is wrong, and as you can read in the comments above, people had stated that they never disclosed the religion of their counterparts to their families.

        You then went on to state:

        Visiting a mosque under the guise of dating is still a sin nonetheless, though you may not understand this point effectively or choose to avoid it altogether.

        So what your saying is that i can not enter the mosque if i am dating? I am not allowed learn from other cultures and religion practices because of what i am doing? I think i would leave that for God to judge, thank you. And also, we were we not under the 'guise' of dating, if anyone were to ask i would tell the truth, but that would be highly unlikely seeing that we were divided anyway. Besides I simply went there to learn and celebrate Ramadan. As stated before God would judge by my intentions.

        This made me laugh:

        It seems that you have chosen to "choose" what you want to believe in and say, "I don't do religion!" That's the claim of the misguided atheist, agnostic and even extreme religious folk, as well, so it's not exactly exemplary company.

        You selected my words without including what followed up, when i said "i dont do religion! I do a belief which is personal etc... You failed to add all that to your quotation! It is a well known fact that religion does bring about war, conflict and distress. I merely pointed that i would like to live my life believing in what i believe and doing what i do and have God judge me for that. I am not saying i would break all the laws of the scriptures but every action i do, God would know what i intended to do, i am not stating that i am perfect either for that matter.
        Because as you may not believe or be aware God judges predominately on your heart and intentions. That is what in Islam, a white lie is not seen to be all bad if its intended to be good and to put someone out from danger, and Christianity teaches that God looks predominately at the heart of an individual and not what you do, example is the woman with the issue of blood. (this is an additional information with no intention to be dwelled on, you either agree with it or your don't: optional)


        Not every relationship brings negativity and to think so is narcissistic.

        Relationships have a mixture of positives and negatives, not anyone relationship is perfect so i failed to understand what you were trying to construct here. You believe that religion helps a relationship, but fail to see that other attributes also influence how a relationship is?

        I loved this part the most:

        It seems that you what you really wish to do in your post is to ride your high horse, say that others are doing so while avoiding your own saddle, and indeed preach likewise. The age old misnomer of pleading the opposite while carrying on with your preaching of your viewpoint is disingenuous at best. Likewise, your boyfriend has not chosen practice Islam while he dates, but only chooses what he wishes to validate of himself.

        Answering to that in front of God should not be as trivial as you make it seem. Far from it, in fact.

        I believe that this was a forum where by people were allowed to voice his/her own opinion, I didn't preach i merely stated my viewpoints on the discussion. I could much easily state that you were on very high on your horse, waving your flag of 'integrity' whilst pointing your finger of shame...
        Also what your saying is that God, out of everything in life... Would dwell on the fact that my Boyfriend dated? As stated before we will wait to then, or better yet we would pray about it and take it up from there. Like i said people take different approaches to life, just like you did. God created variation for a reason, and as you said Islam is a 'guideline' for people, and people may interpret the Scriptures as to what fits well for them.


        • Though you laugh or may be amused, what you could not do was find any Scripture or legitimate religious viewpoint to actually cause a basis of your belief or the choosing of your beliefs other than yourself with no formal training, scholarship or degree of such, merely basing it on emotion of the ego and nothing more. Whether it was the Prophets, disciples, mystics and followers, they all agreed that sacrifice of the ego was the root of forming a strong basis of belief and closeness to God. Not merely selecting or glossing over one aspect. As a Catholic, you should make the efforts to learn more about the intricacies of your religion, as in Catholicism itself, your viewpoint falls short of the journey in Christianity, as self sacrifice being the crux of the followers of Jesus (as).

          Why do I point this out? Because expecting other people's parents to not object of doing so in their children's life is a fallacy when they are committing wrong as your post suggested otherwise, hence why I said your personal example was a poor one. Again, it's about enjoining good and forbidding evil. The counter argument to your points is that the parent is trying to train the child not only for this world, but also for the hereafter and how those actions will determine their place in the afterlife. In the light of your example of dating, respectful interference of the parents would be common and accepted in Islam and should be so in Christianity, despite lax adherence of some followers. This is even more evident since if you had made it known you were dating while at a mosque, you would probably have not had the gleeful experience you had. This wouldn't have been a bad reaction of people, but appropriate to the actions of your boyfriend. In kind, if you ever marry, this would not cover the sins of the past, as you would still have to seek forgiveness of such. What you seem to fail to understand is that your example could not really be taken seriously or legitimate by those parents who wish to help their child avoid the trappings of dating and sin.

          You always refer to God being your judge, but if you understood your religion and the lessons of the Prophets more, you would know that God did not want his people always indulging in repeated sin as a example of misguided indulgence. When Jesus (as) lived among the sinners, he wasn't doing it to date or to engage in sin, but to show them the proper way of living. He did this so that others wold leave their sin and repent. You can visit and look at religion as much as you want, but until you instill the practices in your life, whether it be Christian or Islamic, then what are you truly adhering to, but to your own inclinations? Honestly, nothing. The fact that you see nothing wrong with this can be judged if you desire to hold yourself, your boyfriend or the respective parents as a barometer of appropriate acceptance, which it is not.

          You addressed point 7 to those who posted or not? If not, then why post it? Was there a need for such? Hence the high horse analogy.

          While religion is not dogmatic, how we practice it with intention is greater than the intention itself, because the latter can be considered to abdicate responsibility when not taken seriously. Again, your post makes that evident.

          Your idea of celebrating Ramadhan also falls short of what your boyfriend is supposed to be doing during that time, which means he chose to make a mockery out of. You see, the whole point of the month is to fast, i.e. cleansing the self and staying away from all sin. His relationship with you during that month, thus made his fasts invalid. This is what you have failed to understand an you should try to have garner this teaching. If true learning was your intention, again, you failed in this circumstance. This is how intention and practice trumps the lone intention, in your example.

          Again, you have failed to understand what religion is and what it is not. Your contention that religion brings war among people is not so. What brings war is the inability to submit to the word of God and an unwillingness to destroy the inner ego of capture and possession. In this regard, you need to understand the story of David (as) and Goliath more clearly to understand what war based on man's selfishness exists as and what religion was trying to accomplish through David's (as) actions. This is why I didn't you quote your further, because your basis is entirely wrong.

          What you fail to understand about intimate relationships is that they should only exist to please God and thus can only be allowed through His command of marriage, but also with the intention of setting aside the ego for what God wants in an allowed relationship. Thus, the destruction of negativity in a relationship is the goal in forming it because it is done in worship of God. Again, you need to understand the spiritual aspect of co-existence with a human being in a true relationship under the blessing of God.

          You have failed to understand what Islam is in the issue of being a guideline. It exists in all its' manifestation of physical and spiritual to guide the believer to truth and justice of the self and to the society around us. This is why Muslims just do not open the Qur'an and interpret it wildly, but instead, hold onto the narrations of the Prophet and his lifestyle. This is why his life is so thoroughly examined over and over again. As Muslims, our guidelines are his life and what we have are four aspects of intentions and practicing: loving what God loves, hating what God hates, liking what God likes and disliking what God dislikes.

          What you have also failed to understand in respect to your boyfriend dating you, is that God takes no sin lightly. Indeed, we actually have many narrations regarding this. But why? Because to disobey God is to harm yourself and to an extent, to prefer yourself over Him, to prefer the worldly sinful pleasures to His heaven and taking Satan at his friend. Without seeking forgiveness and repentance, your boyfriend would be judges by this. In Islam, there is an actual verse that says that mankind will be judged on his deeds, good and bad, to the atom of it.

          This is why we call God All-knowing and strive to avoid those sins which are in open contravention of His laws.

          • I'm sorry, I made the mistake to state that you were Catholic. Otherwise, my post is as stated.

    • Rosetta, your comment suggests that religion is hypocrisy, do not be defensive about that I am just trying to help you realize.
      This site is to give advice to people and to help people understand things that they might already know and to give them courage to do the right thing. This site isn't to judge one another but to help one another. And certainly judging does happen but that's inevitably human. This site isn't to say "I am holier than thou" because as you said, only Allah can judge us, we don't need to prove anything to one another because only Allah knows the true intention that comes from us.
      And of course religion shouldn't be forced, and of course people have the right to choose, but, that does not mean that every "religion/belief" is right. Now again, people should not distort the Scriptures to justify their own actions but certainly it happens. That is no religions fault. It is that person's fault and Allah is the Ultimate Judge.

      • Hey Aliyee,
        I understand that this site is to to do all those things you stated, but is it not also for people to give their own actions when they are in the same situation? For them to express and explain why they took the actions they took etc....?
        What i am saying is, in my opinion, religion should be inflicted too much in relationships between two people, it should, in fact be a personal a thing. A belief where you see yourself having a relationship with God and not man. Whatever and Whoever is doing this and that shouldn't be of your concern, what an individual person should see is that God is looking at his/her own heart.

        Dont get me wrong i am not saying that advising people should not be done.
        And Aliyee not to get too in depth with this, but i am interested into knowing what i distorted within the scriptures?


        • error: What i am saying is, in my opinion, religion should be inflicted too much in relationships

          correction: What i am saying is, in my opinion, religion should not be inflicted too much in relationships

      • When I am talking about you suggesting hypocrisy and this site being for advice, it is respondon to your statement "Let's not live under the illusion that we are perfect, or live under the pretence that we follow the books from word to word".
        And when I say that people have the right to choose what path they take (in regards to religion) bt not all religions are right I'm responding to your statement that your boyfriend celebrated New Years at your church. Yes we as humans can have respect for each others beliefs but that does not mean, that Us Muslims should condone or partake in every belief or any belief that is not condoned by Allah.

        • i can make easily turn round and say the same when i celebrated ramadan, but i didn't... not going to dwell on what religion is of God or not, that is down to personal beliefs

          • Yes you can say the same thing about when you celebrated Ramadan, so why didn't you? I understand your intention was to understand your "boyfriend's" religion, but in doing so, you didn't realize that you made his fast invalid because he is dating you (as Brother Professor X said). Also like the Brother said, Ramadan is a time to reject sin and to come closer to Allah, and in you dating, and in your boyfriends dating you, his fast was not accepted. And I'm sure he knew that. And you couldn't truly understand the purpose of Ramadan because you couldn't understand something as simple as that. Also something like the Brother said, you choose to base your beliefs on emotion and ego and not an actual religion. To be God fearing one must sacrifice their own carnal desires to please and obey Allah. Without obeying God and following God's direction one cannot enter heaven. No matter how good one is. If one COULD (and of course one cannot) go to heaven without obeying God's laws and just doing what is right, then that would mean an Atheist could go to heaven if he was a good person such as giving to the poor, bla bla bla.
            I recommend you read the beginning of the Qur'an. Like Surah 2:1-20... I recommend it only to help you, not to judge you... Please accept the truth and do not reject it... I will pray for you.
            Inshallah you will find and ACCEPT what Allah has revealed to us. Amin.

            (Launch Quran Explorer, and then when a new window pops up at the top left where it says (Sura/Chapter) click on it an choose 2- Al-Baqara...

            I suggest but it's all the same 😀

  20. I'm sorry Rosetta I was correcting my own words before I saw you responded. My last comment migh have not made sense 🙂 I will reply again to your last 2 comments in another comment box 🙂

  21. hmm yea you are right that people shouldn't give their own actions but I guess that some people do give their own actions to somehow help another person by encouraging them but it should certainly not impose.
    Marrying and relationships have a lot to do with religion because of future aspects, acceptance, forgiveness and overall actions come from a religion/belief so if your spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend is not the same religion then the mentalities and mind sets could be very different. Then of course you would have to leArn from one another ans that could be difficult. but Allah and parents want life to be easy and that is why they are so tough about this subject.
    And about the scriptures I am not saying you distorted anything, I was replyin to a statement of yours "God created variation for a reason, and as you said Islam is a 'guideline' for people, and people may interpret the Scriptures as to what fits well for them."
    But of course people shouldn't interpret the scriptures to what fits for them but interpret them solely on their true meaning and intention.

  22. As salaam o alikum,

    "Allaah! There is no God but He: of a surety He will gather you together against the Day of Judgment, about which there is no doubt. And whose word can be truer then Allaah's."
    Qur'an Surah An-Nisaa 4:87

    "To any that desires the tilth of the Hereafter, We give increase in his tilth; and to any that desires the tilth of this world, We grant somewhat thereof, but he has no share or lot in the Hereafter."
    Qur'an Surah Ash-Shura 42:20

    "To such as Allaah rejects from His guidance, there can be no guide: He will leave them in their trespasses, wandering in distraction."
    Qur'an Surah Al-A'raf 7:186

    "We have put forth for men, in this Qur'an every kind of parable, in order that they may receive admonition. (it is) a Qur'an in Arabic, without any crookedness(therein): in order that they may guard against evil."
    Qur'an Surah Az-Zumar 39:27-28

    These ayats (verses) are in the Qur'an. Every Muslim strives to live their lives according to the Qur'an and Sunna. It is the only way to submit to Allaah(swt) and have a perfect (from God) guideline to follow.
    Relationship with Allaah (swt) is above all others (with family or spouse etc). There is a way to please God with our actions regarding a romantic relationship. The guidelines are clear and should be strickly followed. This (among other things) is a test from our Creator.

    "Do men think that they will be left alone saying, 'We believe', and that they will not be tested? We tested those before them, and Allaah will certainly know those who are true from those who are false."
    Qur'an Surah Al-Ankabut 29:2-3

    Allaah knows best!

    Sister Hafsah

  23. I'm am in a similar situation however we do not have plans of marriage I'm 17 and my boyfriend is 19 . He is a Muslim and I am Christian although I haven't been brought up as a strict Christian ... Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years and I love him very much I know he shouldn't be dating me. At first the different religions was not an issue , but is becoming more and more of an issue . His parents did seem to like me at first me and his mum had a good relationship but I think that was when she thought we wouldn't last now she seems to really hate but I didn't do anything to offend her I tried to be helpful I cooked and cleaned when I was in his house but now she always says to me that ali would never been with me he wants to be with a Muslim girl it's not only that she does anything to try an imbarrase me or make me feel uncomfortable .... And the other day he said to me that I would never be able to give home what a Muslim girl could but he loves me , I really don't understand what this means he says I dont understand what a Muslim girl would be like with him . Someone help!!!!

    • Hello Amie,

      The fact is that his words are a signal that it's the beginning of the end. He has begun to realize the ultimate consequences of his actions and what he may not be willing to accept. In comparing you to a potential Muslim wife, he is comparing you to the potential ideal. By not being Muslim yourself, this is the manifestation of what may become the end of this relationship with you.

      I have to say that I am disappointed that his mother condoned his behavior at the beginning and this led you to believe that more from this relationship was possible. I wouldn't be surprised if his mother and/or another person in his family, if not him, is looking for a Muslim wife for him and to do so, they know that your relationship with him must end. Unless he and you are ready to marry and accept a life together, this is your time to end this relationship on your own terms, Amie. Not for the sake of yourself however, but for the sake of obeying God.

      • Thankyou for the advice. And no I am not ready for marriage and am definitely not going to marry someone that will always be thinking what could have been if he wasn't to marry a Muslim .

        • Hello again.

          If I may offer another observation? In Islam, we believe that when you are old enough to desire a partner and to avoid from falling into sin, it is time to seriously consider marriage. If there are no means to do such, then abstinence and fasting are recommended.

          I know that you say you are not ready for marriage, but as this is the time of Lent in Christianity, are you currently abstaining and fasting to strengthen your resolve? If not, then please consider it as a means of developing your inner self and raising your status in religious means and ways.

          It's also important that as a young woman, you begin to strive to understand what is it exactly that you wish from a committed partner in a possible marriage. I ask this because you stated that you were cooking and cleaning while in his house and so, in this regard of your considerately kind behavior, you are either consciously or subconsciously trying to figure out your own role, as well.

          Give it some thought and ponder what your life means to you.

  24. I am getting married in a mosque. My boyfriend is Muslim, and my background is somewhat difficult. My parents never gave me teachings about religion...I've always believed in a higher power - so growing up I've had many influences of different religions- Jehovah Witness, Christianity, Catholism, Jewish...No teachings ever hit my soul hard - until I met my boyfriend 3 1/2 years ago. And he opened my eyes to Islam. It's just the beginning for me and my peace of mind that I get from this religion. We have hour long talks about everything Islam. Its beautiful - I am to be married in a mosque soon to him - and we are doing it for ourselves in from of god. Because we know us being together now is not pure. But I am proud to be with a muslim. There is no other man like it. Its a way of life. It's devotion. It's love. It's peace. And its meant to be for you. There's no one that will ever stand between you and God. I've read a lot of comments on here that a are quite sad to read. About abuse from a Muslim, or marriage gone wrong, controlling - there is no need to categorize. That kind of stuff happens everywhere. In fact, Muslims are some of the most beautiful kinds of people I have met. I also read one comment that in Islam women are property...That is not true. Women are held high on a pedistle. Face it women - we all like our independence - BUT what is THE MAIN thing we need from a man - Security. to feel safe. Islam is just that. Women are fragile, women bare the gift of life for 9 months and men should take the heat. My boyfriend and I talk about every detail we can when we are on that subject. I am still learning and I know I will convert one day. I've known it since the day he told me Islam is the only religion that includes ALL other religions. Among many other things.
    It is a serious way of life without a doubt. You have to make sacrafices - But no matter how much my boyfriend and I talk about it - I'm not converting for him. For ME.

    • May Allah (swt) guide you always Sister Stephanie. In your situation, I often refer to one of my favorite verses:

      Holy Qur'an Chapter 5, Verse 82:
      When they (Christians) listen to that which hath been revealed unto the messengers, thou seest their eyes overflow with tears because of their recognition of the Truth. They say: Our Lord, we believe. Inscribe us as among the witnesses.

      Also dear Sister, an alim once told me that the sacrifices that we make pale in comparison to the bounties that we are given from our Lord. For example, in your situation: dating is forbidden, but once you are married, then your union becomes a form of worship provided it is righteous and filled with kindness. Every sweet word, kiss and kind touch is in recognition of Allah's Decree (swt) and therefore is in worship of the Almighty.

      It's the same way with food: when you avoid the forbidden, then when you eat the allowed, it becomes an act of worship and faith. In this way, Allah (swt) is always inviting you towards Him by giving you the opportunity to make the choices that gain His Pleasure. Praise be to Allah (swt) for such an opportunity that he bestows on His servants!

      By the way, if it's in your heart right now, then don't delay! Become Muslim today!

  25. Hi, I ask please help me. I am 32 years old i converted to islam 10 years ago when i married my husband. We have been divorced for 3 years. I have a daughter and still pratice islam as i do not no any diffrent and i would not change it. Its is what i pleged to god and can not be changed. The problem that I am having is that i have been in a relationship with a lebanese man for almost 2 years. I have been really upset because i have been talking to him about the fact that he has not told his mom about me. This is something that really hurts me because i feel like there is something wrong with me. I am muslim and i practice everything that god wants me to. What do i do, i love him and i no he loves me but should i keep going on with this. Do I stay do i go. Please i ask any comments. Please help me i dont no what else to do. Thank you

    • Shareen, please log in and write your question as a separate post and we'll answer you in turn Insha'Allah. My short answer to you is that you should not be in this relationship. The only personal relationship that should exist between a non-mahrem man and woman is marriage. If this man is serious about you then let him make a proper proposal. Otherwise, terminate your contact with him.

      Wael Editor

  26. I am christian but it's just how many months i didnot went to our church because something questioning in my mind and heart. Everytime i open my laptop and net i love to read about muslim. Islam Religion become so near in my heart when people talking so negative about muslim i got hurt and i defend them.

    i hate when people say that for them MUSLIM are trailor and not good!!! but they really dont know who really MUSLIM are.. guys its not about the religion!!!! Dont judge MUSLIM by thier cover but by their character!

    i have so many MUSLIM friends but then again they are all good to me... very protective and faithful.... and what i like most about them they respect also my religious views.. MUSLIM are good if you are good to them!

    .... i want to convert to become a muslim but i dont know why. Till time come i knew a man from a facebook. he is from Egypt we become a good friend. As months go by he went here in our country. But we didnot meet yet.
    We fall inlove each other but he said there is no girlfriend and boyfriend in Islam so after i garduate from college this comming March he want to marry me as he respect me and love me so much. he will wait that time.. my concern is he is only 24 and still studying here on the University and Im a graduating from college.My parents said yes and it's ok for them but this man if we are going to married he want me only to stay home but i said i want to work not only for me but for our future children. but he only want me to stay with him. I have so many things to do in my life but how can i do that when he want me only to stay with him and not to go work. Is this man is right or wrong?

    • Dhemz, to be honest with you it sounds like the two of you are not compatible. You want to work and do other things, and this man sounds very inflexible. I support your desire to convert to Islam, but I don't think this is the right man for you.

      Wael Editor

  27. Hi. i am Hindu and my boyfriend is Muslim. we have been truly extremely in love happily for 2 years. But now the time has come to make a final decision about us. Hes everything to me and i cannot live without him and he cant even think of spending a day without me either. But he is very religious and extremely devoted to his mosque . he goes there everyday and now Ive quite got used to the absence when he goes too because its a daily routine for me n Ive never complained. he does not want to hurt his parent as his parents are extremely orthodox and they already don't like me because they have their doubts. i cannot even think of hurting my parents as well. Its an extremely horrible situation of choosing my parents or the love of my life. i cannot have both together because our parents and family will never go together. and he also does not want to be hated by his beloved friends and relatives in his mosque. so right now we have decided to break up for the sake of our parents because after all they are everything to us. and we have decided to remain friends as he has been my best friend who i shared all my problems with and no one knows me better than him. but I'm afraid how i will move on,i mean we both can never stop loving each other but we have decided to breakup and do it,just for our families and religion.
    is this decision the right thing to do? or should we not give up on our love?

    • anjk123,

      According to the Islamic law, your relationship is unlawful and abhorred. Islam does not permit marital relations for a Muslim with a Hindu.

      And certainly, you can't have both. But the only thing that can deem your relationship valid in Islam is that you become a Muslim by choice, with sincerity. I urge you to study Islam and consider it. If you need further help, please write a separate post and we will publish it in sha Allah.

      Muhammad Waseem Editor

  28. am muslim and am going to marry a christian guy how to convince my brothers to let me marry him

    • Zara,

      There is no need for that. You are not allowed to marry a non Muslim man, being a Muslim from the Ummah of Rasoolulah Sallallahu alaihi Wasallam.

      Abu Abdul Bari Editor

  29. Hello, my name is Lee, I am a 19-year-old Christian girl, who fell in love with an 18-year-old Muslim boy one year ago.

    (Remainder of comment has been deleted. Please log in and write your question as a separate post, thank you. - Editor)

  30. I was in a relationship with a guy for 1year and almost 2 months, but he broke up with me 2 months ago because his dad did not want him to be in a relationship with me.

    • ajackson, please log in and write your question as a separate post and we will answer you in turn, God willing.

      Wael Editor

  31. hey my name is Natasha i lived in Pakistan im christian and my boyfriend is Muslim,we are together from last six years now im 28 and he is 29,his parents rejects me because im Christian he loves me alot and me too but now he said he cant againts his mother because he loves his mother so much,he said move forward in life because without his mother he cant marry me ,this is so pain full to me.its very diffcult to me lis ive without him,we have no sexuall relation but we saw nude each others so manys times he is in my souls and im so upset i said to him i will convert in islam but his mother still not accepting me ,im so broke n he also give me reson that leave me,this is real hard to accept islam just because of him ,please help me ,what to do ,and plz pray me all,who read his post ,thank you ;

  32. Dear Abdul Wali,

    I am writing this post in regards to my current, troubled situation of who I am dating. I have been with this individual for about 9 months now. We were exclusively seeing each other for a good 4-5 months before we officially started dating...and now we have surpassed our 4 months together. I am an Orthodox Christian (24) from Croatiaand my boyfriend is an Ismaili (21) from Hazar, Afghanistan. He is exceptionally sweet, caring, patient, and smart. We reside in the same city and we are both still living at home with our parents due to funds and schooling. I am in the process of completing my second Degree and he has one more year left of college as well. I come from a very traditional and in many ways biased European background. When my parents found out about my boyfriend's ethnicity and religion they automatically disapproved and had no wish to meet him or even see him. There has been an immense amount of tension, fighting, tears and bloodshed in my household for the past month ever since I told my parents the truth about my relationship. Also, he is my first and official boyfriend and I honestly don't know how to go about this situation. His family seems to be far more accepting of "difference" than my own...and he does not abide by his religion rigorously...that is, he dates outside of his religion and he's very much "Westernized." I don't know how to alter my parents mindsets and at least, at least encourage them to meet my boyfriend and see him for who he is...and not just by their predisposed biases and prejudices about his ethnicity and religious background.

    Any suggestions or insights would be greatly appreciated.

    Thank you kindly,

    • One idea would be to have his family invite your parents to their home for dinner.

      Ultimately, however, you might have to choose between either breaking it off, or marrying him without your parents' approval.

      If you need further advice please register and submit your question as a separate post. Thank you.

      Wael Editor

  33. hi
    I'm in the following situation and asking for any advises or point of view from a different perspective than mine.

    • Lukrecija, please register and submit your question as a separate post, and we will answer you in turn, Insha'Allah.

      Wael Editor

Leave a Response