Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Boys are rejecting me because I am fat

You don't have to be a taekwondo champion to lose weight (like Noha Abd Rabo at the 2008 Olympics) but you do have to exercise vigorously.

You don't have to be a taekwondo champion to lose weight (like Noha Abd Rabo at the 2008 Olympics) but you do have to exercise vigorously.


Asak. I am 22 years old muslim girl. My parents are searching a good boy for me. But all boys are rejecting because I am fat. I don't know what to do? I am also trying a lot to become thin but in vain.

Please tell me is being fat a mistake?

- Hajara

Wael's Answer:

Dear Sister Hajara, As-salamu alaykum,

Please see the answer I gave on a very similar question here:

How can an overweight woman find love?

Being fat is not something to be ashamed of, but it is something you should try to change, for several reasons:

  1. Our bodies are a trust given to us by Allah and it is our obligation to care for them as best we can, which includes keeping them healthy and fit.
  2. Being overweight is a health risk and increases your chance of contracting many kinds of illnesses, including heart disease, diabetes and others.
  3. Becoming fit will improve your quality of life in many ways. You will be able to move more freely, engage in sports, play with your children (when you get married Insha'Allah) without being out of breath, and enjoy a longer life Insha'Allah, within what Allah has decreed for you.
  4. You will feel better about yourself.
  5. You will be more attractive to others and will find it easier to find a marriage partner Insha'Allah.

Fortunately you are still young and it should be relatively easy for you to lose weight.. The process of losing weight is not a mystery or a secret. It involves the following:

  1. As much as possible, eat fresh fruits and vegetables.
  2. Eat grilled or steamed fish, and lean cuts of meat with little fat.
  3. Eat other healthy sources of protein such as tofu, nuts, avocado and eggs.
  4. Avoid fried foods or anything with a lot of oil or fat.
  5. Avoid processed, packaged foods.
  6. Avoid calorie-dense foods with little nutritional value.
  7. Drink plenty of water and avoid sodas and juice.
  8. Exercise. A good exercise program has two elements: strength training, and cardio. Strength training is typically done by lifting weights, but it can also be done at home through simple exercises like push-ups and squats, and lifting dumbbells. Cardio consists of any fast-paced activity that gets your heart pumping. Fast walking on a treadmill is always a good option.

Last of all I want to say that if for any reason you are unable to lose weight, don't lose hope. There are men out there who are attracted to more full-figured women and even prefer them. There is someone for everyone, Insha'Allah. You are still young and you have time to find the person who is meant for you.

And Allah knows best.

If any readers have some additional advice for this questioner, feel free to post your comments below.

(O Allah), Guide us to the straight path; The path of those whom you have favored; Not those with whom you are angry; Nor those who go astray.

Best regards,

- Wael Hesham Abdelgawad, Administrator Marriage Advice Muslim Matrimonial Service


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3 Responses »

  1. asalamu alaikum,

    being fat can be a downside to you of health problems etc but i dont see why you cant find a potential partner, appearence doest matter since the inside that counts, im sure you will find someone who will accept you for who you are. i got a relative who is fat and she also had the same problem not finding a husband but eventually got married now she is happily married with 2 kids alhamdulillah, so you never know.

    ma salama

  2. Myself I find that weight loss is easier with exercise than with dieting. I always put weight back on when I am on a diet due to the diet ends and I go back to eating normal foods.

  3. ASSALAAM-O-ALAIKUM!! i think that all boys have got seriously mad they should see ur nature not ur smartness, person gets beautiful coz of his natre n u r one of the most n beautiful girl in my eyes seriously. Inshallah i will be praying for u n abt ur marriage. Ameen n u can become my friend by replying me on my email address so never get upset n believe upon ALLAH coz he is only one. take care:-)

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