Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Breaking it to my parents…

so close so far, heart, with my heart in my hand

Hello brothers and sisters,

I am a Palestinian Muslim female who is in love outside my race. The man I am in love with has converted to Islam. I am 23 and he is 28. My parents are actually racist and always threaten me that I better end up with an Arab man. The problem is my parents are very close minded when it comes to different races. He is of mixed race but looks African American. He wants to change his name to an Islamic name.

We have been together for four years and I absolutely hate lying and hiding it from my parents. He proposed to me so we are engaged. I want to go to a Mosque and seek help from someone and get engaged the Islamic way. I am constantly feeling like i am living a double life. We recently bought a house together, so I know it's time to tell them.

My biggest fear is hurting and disappointing my parents. I pray all the time that when the day comes they do accept him. For who he is. He even is going to the point of removing his tattoos. He provides everything for me and more. This man has stuck with me through all the lies I keep telling my parents. What makes me feel bad is I know it hurts him that my parents don't know and also that I keep lying to them. They say you end up with someone a lot like your father. I know if my father gets passed his color and gets to know him they will get along great. He is everything my parents mention on how a husband should be. He is caring, makes sure I am always happy, provides me with everything. I am an accountant and he is an electrical engineer. We have everything together even a joint bank account. All the bills are together also. He lives in this state alone and left NY to get a clean start. I am technically the only family he has down here.

I pray every night for them not to ship me back home (I live in America) or hurt me or do something horrible. I don't want to break my family apart, but I wish and pray they accept him and look past his color. I also wish that they didn't care o much on what other people think.I know that they will feel like i bought shame to the families name for being with a black man. Inshallah yarab they accept him and let us live a happy life with little mixed Muslim babies.

I just need guidance in this situation and don't know where to go. Please help guide me through my tough situation.

Sarah222

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2 Responses »

  1. For a valid marriage you will be needing one Wali(Guradian) from your side (Mandatory for a valid nikah) .
    As your father is not accepting it i think you need to discuss about it . with islamic scholars

  2. it is difficult for you. May be your parents wont accept him.

    do you have babies? May be if they see babies they forgive you.

    I am not sure , but you try and see pleaseeeeeeeeee

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