Islamic marriage advice and family advice


Man saying dua

I have a question:-

I am a Muslim and I fell in love with one non Muslim girl, I had nothing bad for her in my mind, she used to live near to my rented home and I had a wish to talk to her but I had not have enough courage so I could not talk to her and In this way 3 years went and I got more emotional for her, my studies got completed and I left That city just to get job, I always had a regret that I never ever listen her voice even, I kept on praying to Allah that I want to talk to that girl and some after few months I saw her profile in facebook then I said everything whatever I had in my heartf for her but very rudely she ignored my feelings and stoped responding, I kept on trying for next 5 years almost everyday, I used to make dua but nothing happened, my 5 years got wasted and never responded back to me, I just wanted to make friendship because I was emotionally attached with her but she ignored everything, I had talk with her parents but I got nothing, now she has got married and from my painful heart badua comes out by default. Will god accept it or not????????


Tagged as: , , , , , , , ,

3 Responses »

  1. Salam
    No brother your bad dua will not be accepted because she did nothing bad to you .like she had the control over her feelings and life just the way you had over yours .she had her own priorities in you just can't force someone to love you in return and if they don't do so then make bad dua for them.that doesn't seem good.right?
    And secondly why would you want to marry a non muslim in the first place? Do you want your future kids to grow in a non muslim environment? Just try to move on with your life though it would seem very difficult now but eventually you will get over her insha'Allah .and pray to Allah to grant you a loving wife who is good for your Deen and dunya insha'Allah .not someone who just ignores you and wastes your time .
    Take care

  2. Assalaamualaikam

    From what you've written, it sounds as though you formed a very strong attachment to this girl, without ever really knowing her. While it will hurt that she didn't feel the same way, unfortunately, that's life - sometimes people we like won't like us back, sometimes people won't be interested in marrying us. You can't make somebody love you. This girl has the right to go on and be happy in her life, so stop resenting her.

    Just as she has the right to go on and be happy, so do you. Resenting her and making bad dua is only going to cause you to feel more bitterness and pain. Learn from this - you may now have a better idea of what qualities you would like in a future spouse; you can turn to Allah for comfort and healing and so strengthen your faith. Rather than sitting at home feeling consumed by hurt, get out into the real world and create some positive experiences for yourself - take up a sport, do charity work, attend classes at your local mosque... Remember that Allah has a plan for you; even if you cannot see it now, there will be a reason why this happened - trust in Him.

    Midnightmoon editor

  3. Salam Saris,

    You cannot blame her for her response. I'm sorry you're feeling this way but much of the pain you feel is the loss of a girl that may not have even existed. What you know about her is very little and is based on what you've seen on facebook and what you saw of her in person as she lived near you. You have not even heard her voice, you don't know her situation, you don't know her conduct to those she's close to, you don't know how she manages a relationship. But despite all of this, you have an image in your head as to what she is like and you are taking her rejection very personally.

    If you had built up the courage to talk to her you may have found out that she has bad habits, or that she is rude to her parents. You have have gotten married to her and had kids only to find out that she is completely against religion and is leading herself and your kids to hell. There are numerous horrible outcomes that could've happened.

    Even in the way she didn't respond to you, it could've been that she was already in a relationship with someone else, very possibly the guy she got married to.

    Please try a different approach to relationships. Do not invest in someone and dream up what they are like for 8+ years just based on looks. People have problems, some of them had a poor upbringing, some had their heartbroken, others are interested in only this life and not in the hereafter. They will come with their own problems just as you come with yours and your expectations of what they are like will not be met.

    For you to invest in this girl over 3 years secretly and not even try to talk to her, she has no idea you have feelings for her. And then out of no where you go and write all your feelings for her that you've built up over the 3 years. What is she supposed to do with that? She is not as invested in you as you are in her. She may not even like you, she may know that you are religious and feel that she doesn't want a religious person. And there is no way you can marry her without her converting. So before putting her up on a pedestal I recommend talking with a girl. You may find out that she's horrible and that way at least you're not spending 8 years fantasizing about her and never seeing her face to face. Or you may find out she's awesome but not interested in you in which case you avoid heartbreak before becoming too invested.

    Also relationships take work. Initially they are fun when you don't know the person because you can talk to them about what they are like, but once you get to know them you have nothing to talk about. At that point you have to make an effort to spend time together, sacrifice your hobbies to spend time with your spouse if both of you like different hobbies. It's like any good movie that you anticipate to watch and count down the days till you can see it. Then after you see it, you don't keep watching it with the same enthusiasm for the rest of your life.

    Please fantasize less and get to know the person more. Don't just assume that they are as awesome as they seem, let them show you what they're like and invest based on the level of relationship. Try not to fall in love with someone that you're limited to only texting. I hope things work out for you.

Leave a Response