Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Brother and sister having to share a bedroom

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My sister and I sleep in same room but on separate beds. During sleeping my sister's clothes are open from chest and belly.

We do not have any other room in which to sleep separately, so what we should do?

talk2farhan


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24 Responses »

  1. As-salamu alaykum brother,

    Your post makes little sense. Why should your sister's chest and belly be exposed?

    If you truly cannot sleep in separate rooms, then hang a curtain between the two of you to partition the room, and let your sister cover herself properly at night (as you should also).

    Wael
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • As-salamu alaykum Wael,

      I haven't been logged here for long time, I just realised this post was written by me? It's really weird! Plus I don't have brother. How I could contact you personally?

      • Daisy, do you mean that you did not write it? Or you wrote it and forgot about it? Or the information is not accurate? Or what? Maybe one of the editors changed the title and added the word "brother"?

        Wael
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  2. asslamalikum-
    IT IS VERY SUROESING THE PARENTS HAVE NO KNOWLEDGE ABOUT THE COSEQUENCES OF MKING YOU BOTH SLEEPING IN ONE BED- THEY CAN ARANGE 2 SINGLE BEDS AND PUT IN TWO EXTREME CORNERS SO THAT THE SPACE OFF THE ROOM IS IN THE CENTER AND THE CURTAIN ARRANGEMENT AS WAEL SUGGESTED MUST BE USED SO THAT HER BED IS NOT OPEN AND EXPOSED TO YOU AND OTHERS WHEN YR SISTER IS SLEEPING AND THIS WILL BE EASY TO DO AS ISLAM DENOUNCES THIS ONE SHARING SYSTEM AT ALL COSTS AND IT IS HARAM TO DO THAT AS SHAITAN WILL TAKE THE ADVANTAGE -
    THIS TYPE OF CASES HAVE TAKEN PLACE IM MANY COUNTRIES AND THIS IS NOT ANY ORDINARY MATTER-
    PLS KEEP IN MIND THIS IS VERY VERY SERIOUS PLS TAKE INTIATIVE IMMIDIATELY INFORM YR PARENTS THERE IS NO SHYING AND DELAYING IN TELLING THEM TO SORT THIS PROBLEM-

    HOPE YOU WILL DO THE 1ST THING ON PRIORITY BASIS-
    REGARDS

  3. Honestly even thought it's weird, you shouldn't feel distracted because no matter what , she's your sister after all. Even if she was a naked in front of you, it would be really sick if you had any feelings...just making a point here. How and why is her cloths open?? Doesn't make sense.

  4. She is your sister just draw the sheet over her.

  5. To: ALI YOUSUFF: THEY SHARE THE SAME BEDROOM BUT SLEEPING IN A SEPERATE BED!! Again, READ before you jump to give your comments.

    I understand not everyone can afford to live in a roomy space. Some countries due to poverty or space problem, they live in an apartment without rooms, just like an efficiency or studio type of apartment. We need to give some practical advice here and hope can help his situation. I literately see in my own eyes that a family of 6 living in an apartment with only 300 square feet.

    First, talk to your parents that you are old enough that you need some personal space from your sister, then suggest to separate two beds in each corner if possible. If not, ask your parents to buy a bunk bed.

    Second, as suggested, add a movable curtain in between the space of you and your sister if possible.

    Third, talk to your sister about some rules staying in the same room. For example: tell her to wear a two piece pajama instead of one long piece that may cause it to lift up when she is sleeping. (Ask your mom to talk to her); knock before you enter the room, lock the room when changing, etc.

    Seriously, I think you need to talk to your parents to solve this problem. Take care.

    • My sister and I sleep in same room but on separate beds
      I REPLIED PUT IN IN EXTREME CORNERS SO THAT A CURSTAIN CAN GIVE PRIVACY AND DISTANCE NO ONE JUMPING OT GIVE COMMENTS PLS YOU BE CAREFUL JUMPING TO POINT OUT ANYTHING- I AM AN INTERIOR DECORATOR FROM 30 YEARS I KNOW VARIOUS ARRANGEMENTS CAN BE DONE SO I SUGGESTED I DIDNT SAY BLINDLY 'I KNOW WHAT I AM SAYING SO ATKE ADVICE FROM MY EXPERIENCE DONT COUNTER THE ADVICE WITH ANYTHING COMES IN YR MIND
      REGARDS

      • This is what you wrote :
        "IT IS VERY SUROESING THE PARENTS HAVE NO KNOWLEDGE ABOUT THE COSEQUENCES OF MKING YOU BOTH SLEEPING IN ONE BED- "

        And thus I said you may not read the post probably. OR may be I do not understand your writing. No offense brother, I find it hard to understand all your reply posts. Take it easy. SalamAlikum.

        • YES THE WORD BED- NEXT ROOM I DIDNT WRITE MAY BE I WAS ONSWERING IN THE MORNING AFTER FAJR WHEN THE ROOM IS DARK AND I DIDNT RE-READ-
          BUT YOUR COMMENT JUMPING TO COMMENT I ANSWERED IT IS NOT THE CORRECT WAY TO CORRECT IF YOU FIND ONE HALF WORD LESS IN A STATEMENT OR REPLY
          HOPE YOU WILL BE MORE POLITE IN CORRECTING SOMEONE IN FUTURE-
          NO HARD FEELING FOR BOTH OF US THIS IS FORUM WHERE PEOPLE COME WITH VARIETY OF PROBLEMS SOMEOTIMES WE HAVE TO GIVE STRICT REPLIES FOR A GILR WHO WANTS TO MARRY A NON MUSLIM INSPITE OF HAVING MUSLIM PROPOSAL BEAUSE A NON MUSLIM IS BOY FRIEND FROM YEARS AND ALSO WE MUST ANSWER SOMEONE WHO WRITES HIS SISTERS SLEEPING POSITIONS-IN NUTSHELL I WANT TO SAY SOME CASES NEED STRICT TRUTHFUL ISLAMIC REFERED REPLIES-

          I THINK I ANSWERED YOU WHEN YOU TOLD WE MUST BE HIDING IN HOLE OR SOMETHING AND I WAS THINKING LATER YOU EVEN MENTIONED- "EVEN IF THIS HADEES ACCEPTED OR NOT" REMEMEBER I DIDNT REPLY TO IT-AS IDIDNT WANT TO GO ON SHOWING AS IF I AM BOSS HERE-BUT PLS NOTE A MUSLIM WHO DOES NOT BELIEVE IN HADEES HE FAILS TO COMPLETE HIS IMAN BECAUSE TO SAFEGUARD OUR IMAN NABI SALALAHUALA IHIWASALAM TOLD HE IS LEAVING 2 THINGS THE QURAN AND HADEES AND WE HAVE NO CHOICE BUT DO FULL HIJAB DO OR SUFFER BECAUSE IT COMES UNDER FARZ-REGARDS
          OK LIKE THIS PAGE AND HELP TH WIDOWS ATLEAST- https://www.facebook.com/WIDOWS2NDLOVELIFE?ref=hl

      • We should always maintain distance especislly during lying down or when in a different position ,the satan whispers in our hearts and we feel guilty of being seeing ones own sister in such a way

  6. First of all it should be separate beds. If not you can sleep on the ground its not that uncomfortable. If you are not a troll how can you even notice what parts were uncovered, just look away right away.

  7. Brother, get it over with and tell her. Thats the easiest and best advice. And tell her, if you dont want to make her feel embarrassed, that its okay and that i can happen to anyone and that you wont tell anybody!

  8. AsSalaamu Alaikum Brother,

    I am in agreement with most of the advice you've gotten.

    I want to commend you for coming forward with this issue. It is indeed a serious issue which cannot be solved by saying 'she is your sister so it should not be a problem for you that her aura is exposed while she is sleeping'. If it is within your parents' ability separate rooms would be best. If that cannot be achieved, then a curtain (something as simple as a sheet pinned to the walls or ceiling). Consciousness needs to be raised and rules about privacy established, so please do talk to your parents. It is not wise to take responsibility for covering her, ignoring her possible carelessness, to be careless yourself, or to sweep this under the rug. Don't remain silent about this bothering you. Denial and being made to feel guilty is a trap.... Handle this, Brother.

    Hana

  9. Assalaamualaikam

    I agree with the advice above that you should at least arrange a partition between your beds and advise your sister to wear proper nightwear.

    In talking to her about it, I'd add that it could be easy for this to become a big deal if you aren't tactful in how you discuss it with her; girls can be very self-conscious about their bodies, and your sister may be embarrassed to find out she has not been covered properly while sleeping, so try to be sensitive about the matter. Why not suggest to her about the partition, and then add that the two of you should both wear nightwear that covers appropriately, to preserve modesty - that way she will not feel that it's just her that's needing to change.

    Also, ensure that your nightwear is appropriate (you wouldn't want the same thing to be happening the other way around!) and that you are behaving appropriately (lowering your gaze, giving your sister privacy when changing, etc.).

    Midnightmoon
    IslamicAnswers.com editor

  10. Can some one verify if this is correct information? According to this website an islamic scholar says a woman does not need to cover her breasts in front of her mahram, but she needs to cover her stomach, back and area between her naval and knees.

    http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=1&ID=2039

    The Awra of a woman in front of her Mahram men (those with whom marriage is permanently unlawful), such as the father, brother, son, paternal uncle (father?s brother), maternal uncle (mother?s brother), father in-law, grandson, husband?s son (from another marriage), son in-law, etc consists of the area between the navel and knees, and also the stomach and back.

    Thus, it will be permissible for a woman to expose the following parts of her body in front of Mahram males: head, hair, face, neck, chest, shoulders, hands, forearms, and legs from below the knees. It will not be permissible to expose the stomach, back or any area which is between the navel and knees. (See: al-Fatawa al-Hindiyya, 5/328 & al-Hidaya, 4/461).

    • AsSalaamu Alaikum,

      Even though Allah mentioned the husband and the mahrams in the same Ayah concerning women's Aurah, but each of one of them has a seperate ruling which can be found through the Ahadiths. For example, the brother can't share the same bed with his sister (at the age of puberty), but her husband can do that.

      The husband can see her complete aurah, whereas the mahrams can only see part of her aurah (head, hair, neck, hands and below her knees. This is if there is no fear for any danger (like in the case of the boy here - the OP). However, if there is a chance for any danager (like in the case of uncomfortable mahrams), she must cover her aurah completely.

      A woman needs to cover her breast with her dress. However, the khimar/Hijab which is an extra-clothing on top of her dress, which covers from her hair to her chest areas or to her knees, is what can be removed in the presence of her mahrams, and not her dress.

      As Allah did not ask the women to cover their chest with their dresses (because they wore long dresses already, which covered their chests), but He mentioned their khimar/hijab, which is to cover the dress on the chest and body. The dress alone could cover the chest but might be too tight enough to show some shapes, but when you cover yourself with the Khimar/Hijab, it becomes less tight and a complete modest dressing.

      However, if we consider that some parts of the chest (close to the neck) could also be seen by the mahrams, this will depend on the levels of the mahrams and will also be according to different situations.

      In any case, the young boy (OP) here will not be considered by Shari’a to see her sister's Aurah, as it’s obvious that it could lead to an abomination (may Allah forbids it! Ameen).

      Allah knows best.

  11. ASSALAMALAIKUM-
    POSTING THESE DEVIATED SUNNIPATH VERSIONS OF WEBSITES WHICH ARE FROM THE ROOT OF TURKEY AND SUB CONTINENT OF SOME SELF APPIOINTED SCHOLARS WHO HAVE SHATTERED THE BASIC FABRIC OF ISLAM AND OUR FOREFATHERS HAVE DIED IN DELUSION DUE TO THEIR WHIMS AND FANCIES-MAXIMUM REFERENCES ARE FROM Radd al-Mukhtar- ONLY SOME IN BETWEEN HADEESES ARE GIVEN-ON HIJAB ONLY
    THIESE GROUPS ARE MAINLY OF THE BLIND FOLLOWING-WHO HAVE ONLY FATWAS FATWAS FATWAS BUT NO CONCRETE PROOF FROM QURAN AND HADEES WHATSOEVER-AND THESE ONLY HAVE MADE SECTS AND SUB SECTS IN ISLAM-AFTER THE 5 TH HJIRI-FORM THE YEAR THIS BLIND FOLLOWING CALLED TAQLEED STARTED AND THEY MADE EVERY YOUNG PERSON WHO BECAME HAFIZ OF QURAN A HERO FROM CHILD HOOD IN THAT VILLAGE OR TOWN INTO A VERY BIG SCOLAR AND STARTED HERO WORSHIP AND HE ADDS TO THE GROUP AND THIS HAPPENED IN ALL CENTURIES FROM 5TH HIJRI IN ALL NATIONS AND FINALLY ISLAM IS NOW IN SECTS UPTO TO 40 OR 50 60 AND 72 IS NOT FAR-IN NUMBER AS PER HADEES-
    Radd al-Mukhtar ala ad-Dur al-Mukhtar (Arabic: رد المحتار على الدر المختار‎) is a book on Islamic Jurisprudence [Fiqh] by 18th century Islamic Scholar, Allamah Sayyid Muhammad Ameen ibn `Aabideen ash-Shaami. It means "The Answer to the Baffled" over "The Exquisite Pearl".

    Radd al Mukhtar is a super commentary on Imam Ala' al-Din al-Haskafi's Islamic Jurisprudence book Durr al-Mukhtar fi sharh Tanweer al Absaar. It is widely considered as the central reference for fatwa in the Hanafi Madhab. THE INDO PAK SCHOLARS OFTEN REFER TO- Ibn Abidin as "al-Shami" and to his Hashiya as "al-Shamiyya" or "Fatawa Shami".[1]This Voluminous work has been translated into different languages like Turkish and Urdu.
    HOPE THE 1ST 3 GENERATION REFERENCE FROM QURAN HADEES SAHABAS TABAYIN AND TABE TABAYIN IS SUFFICIENT TO LIVE AN ISLAMIC LIFE THAN FALL INTO SECTS-WARNING IS IN HADEES-
    Ibn Mas'ood said: "The Messenger of Allaah drew a line for us andthen said: 'This is the Straight Path of Allaah.' And he drew lines onthe left and right of it, and then said: 'These are paths of whichthere is not one except that there is a devil upon it calling towardsit.' Then he recited the statements of Allaah 5: 'And verily, this is My Straight Path, so follow it, and do not follow (other) paths for they will separate you away from His path."

  12. ASSALAMALIKUM-
    Question: What is the awrah of a woman with another woman, as well as with her mahaarim (i.e. pl. of those who are mahram to her):
    Answer: What is widespread amongst the people is that the awrah of a woman with another woman, as well as with her mahaarim,
    is that it is what is between the knees and the navel, and is this is incorrect.
    What is correct is that which Allaah mentioned in surah an-Nur: "...
    And not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, or their fathers..."
    wherein He mentioned all of the mahaarim. Thus it is permissible for a woman to uncover in the presence of her mahaarim and other women the body parts that are usually beautified or adorned, and the body parts that are not usually beautified or adorned, then it is not permissible to uncover except for her husband based on the general meaning of the hadeeth "The woman is an awrah." (Saheeh at-Tirmidhee: hadeeth nos. 1173)

    Hence the hair is usually beautified for example, thus it is permissible to leave it uncovered. Jewelry is usually worn on the neck and the upper chest, thus it is permissible to leave it uncovered. Likewise, jewelry is usually worn on the hands and on the feet, or it is sometimes adorned (i.e. the hands and feet), thus she can leave them uncovered. As for exposing her breasts, thighs, back, etc. to other women, or to her mahaarim, then this is haraam.

    Similarly it is not permissible to wear that which reveals her figure such as tight pants or a see-through dress, in the presence of her mahaarim; all of this is haraam.
    However she can wear her regular 'home clothes' in the presence of her mahaarim, the clothes that she usually wears to do her domestic chores around the house, such as a dress that covers the knees, a pants covered by a long shirt that reaches the knees, and so forth.
    And whenever she wants to breast-feed her child, she should let the baby suckle under a veil and not to expose her breast in front of her father, brother, etc. for this part of the hayaa that is obligatory on women to observe.

  13. Asalamu alekum. Brother why are you sharing the same room as your sister? Are you both in diff country studying? ...Or what?. I don't understand. You both are grown up. As Brother Wael suggested 'putting a curtain up in between you' however is good, but to me buy some type of wood which you can put as a wall. I think you understand what I mean.

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