Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My brother has a mental inbalance

Assalamu Alaykum my beloved brothers & sisters

My brother suffers from paranoia. He prays his obligatory salat. He follows the sunnah, but his ahlak & his adab is not consistent with that of our Prophets peace be upon them.
He has been a steady muslim for many years alhamdulillah, but his paranoia & his shubuhat  towards people makes it easy for evil to prosper subhanallah.

He tries everything to control it. I cant seem to figure it out SubhanAllah & every salat I do I beg Allah to guide me as I want to help him. He suffers & I suffer with him. Sometimes he curses because he thinks the kafiroon where we live are against him. He believes they have technology to hurt him through apparature by way of satellite.

He is so well acquainted  with Quran & sunnah subhanAllah, yet he still believes this illogic. He has it very hard to put trust in others. Everytime I tell him Allah is the only one who can do everything. I will not move the tip of my finger, if Allah doesnt allow me. A couple if days ago I was visiting him & I cried telling him, yawma la yanfau malun walabanoon, illa man ata Allaha bi Qalbin saleem ((26:88-89) The Day when there will not benefit [anyone] wealth or children, but only one who comes to Allah with a sound heart).

His heart is diseased & I want to help him. But he keeps believing it's the kafiroon with their technology, computers & satellite. He believed before, that our family was the reason for everything & that we had a relationship with the government, haunting him through satellites. My father is not with us. He complains about yawning in salat, feeling pokes in his body, but its all his imagination la ḥawla wa la quwwata illa billahil aliyeel adheem, thinking they're doing it. Its irrational. I just want to help him open his eyes subhanallah with Allahs leave.

I want to live with him, study Qur'an with him. He has a lock on his understanding, I am very aware that Allah mentions this in Quran. Everytime I tell him something he gives me a contrastatement, wanting to justify his actions & beliefs. Yesterday I mentioned the story of Ibrahim a.s. where he was threatened by his father to leave or be stoned, in sura maryam from 41st ayah. I want to amplify the adab, the behavior of prophets, because in the 47th ayah Ibrahim a.s. answers after being threatened he wishes peace on his father & that he will pray to Allah for his forgiveness.

But the essential thing I wanted to explain to him, was the last, where it says "Peace will be upon you. I will ask forgiveness for you of my Lord. Indeed, He is ever gracious to me.". I think the reason why this last statement is there is because Ibrahim a.s has this way of conduct, and Allah azza wa jall is gracious because of this ofcourse. He is my big brother & he was desperately trying to impose islam on me when I was younger, but I was very ghafiloon (among the careless) then.

Alhamdullilah I am not any more. SubhanAllah. Last time I visited him he tells me, the day I visited him and cried & told him the Qalbun saleem (sound heart) ayah, he slept 3 hours only & he blames the kafiroon. My response was, maybe he needs peace in his heart, or purification. My brother has a belief that is abnormal & imaginative. How do i rationalize his thoughts & clear the shubuhat in his head?

I want to share this story of mine. Maybe some of you have experienced something similar to this.
I will continue to discuss Quran with him, despite his bigheaded attitude.
May Allah bless you all & guide us all, ameen.


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3 Responses »

  1. Salaams,

    It sounds very much to me like your brother is suffering from a mental disorder along the lines of paranoid schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder. While many people may have suspicions about those around them to varying degrees, when someone believes and acts as though they are being monitored and/or controlled (usually by some form of technology), it's almost a certain sign that a mental disorder is the cause. Because of that, it's not a condition that can simply be pushed away by his willpower or even reasoning with him.

    You are looking at his beliefs from a rational point of view, the view that the majority of people who do not suffer from this disorder have. You understand that people are not able to be so easily controlled and are not singled out for harrassment by "them". However, because of his illness, this understand is beyond his grasp. Nothing you say will rid him of his perceptions or make him understand it as you do.

    I truly believe that Allah can heal all illness, even mental illness. If Allah so wills, He could miraculously correct your brother's thinking patterns and heal whatever imbalance lies there so that he can function and interact with the world in a more acceptable way. However, in His wisdom Allah does not always use miracles to cure others, and that's why Islam supports the use of conventional medication when indicated. In your brother's case, it seems his condition is severe enough to warrant him to receive psychiatric help and medicine. However, it's going to be really tough convincing him to accept that, because he probably believes that the pills or doctors are just another means that the "kaffir" are using to try to get to him.

    I suggest you try to find a reputable Muslim psychiatrist in your area and try to convince your brother to meet with him. It won't be easy, but perhaps with consistent urging on your part and trying to show him that he has a true medical condition that can be successfully treated and bring him some level of peace he may eventually agree to it. If he does not, you will have to accept that his thoughts and way of living in light of his beliefs are not going to change, and you will have to learn to love and accept him without trying to "fix" him. Most often these disorders tend to get worse over time without treatment, and it wouldn't be surprising if your brother starts to withdraw from associating with the people he talks to now, such as yourself. The best thing you can do to ensure he keeps you in his "inner circle" is to be as loving and accepting as you can, and understand that this is not a disorder that simply goes away with a few tweaks. I suggest you educate yourself on psychotic disorders such as the ones I mentioned above and contact any resources in your area that can tell you further how you can best support him with his illness.

    Finally, if you ever notice that his patterns are becoming so severe that he is in danger of harming himself or someone else (for example, believing all his food is poisoned and refusing to eat- putting him at risk of starving to death....or thinking that others are going to harm him so he starts carrying weapons and may possibly harm someone else "before they can get to him") you have to call the authorities right away. This is also true if he starts doing things that are illegal (running around outside naked or trying to do a job at a place he doesn't work) or otherwise disruptive to others. When human life or societal function is at stake, all measures must be taken to ensure he is put in a safe place that can stablize him.

    -Amy Editor

  2. perhaps he should see an imam to find out what is wrong with him

  3. i also suffering from this type of doubts and suspicious thoughts.i fount my parents.and now even i lost my trust in lord parents are so loving and caring. but i doubt they are sumonr others who are tryingto harm me.i dont believe anything.this started three months before.what duas should i do for curing this.please help me.

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