Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Burdened by debts

empty-wallet

Assalamualaikum,

I am a Muslim woman, I am married to a Christian man, I have three children, two months ago I was blessed with a little girl.

I have always believe doing good brings good to you.

From the time I am married I have had money problems, started using credit cards and spending more than what I used to earn. Now the credit cards debts have become so much that I am not finding anyway to pay it.  My husband had invested a large sum of money into a business which is halal but he did this due to burdened by debts and not being able to meet the ends at the end of the month, now he had a huge loss coz the person whom he trusted cheated him.  Now with the debts of credit cards there is another debt from the business.

My life has become a living hell, I am most of the time depressed, not able to care for my children, my husband is living in another city, my small children misses their father a lot.

Please make dua for me or if you can give a piece of advice or a dua I will be really grateful.

arjuman

Jazaakallah

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3 Responses »

  1. As-salamu alaykum sister,

    I don't mean to add to your burdens, but I must advise you that a Muslim woman is NOT allowed to marry a Christian man. This marriage is not recognized by Islam and is a sin.

    As far as your debt, I suggest that you try negotiating a settlement with the credit card company. Tell them that you cannot pay the debt, and that unless they settle you will declare bankruptcy and they will get nothing. Offer them 10 cents on the dollar, and maybe they will settle for 20. Upon reaching a settlement they will terminate your credit card. You will also take a hit to your credit rating.

    The alternative, at least in the USA (I don't know what country you are in) is to declare bankruptcy. You will be absolved of your debts. Your credit will be damaged for years to come, but that might be a lesser consideration.

    There is a reason why Islam prohibits ribaa (interest). It is precisely to avoid situations like this.

    May Allah guide you to the best choices and make you straight on the path of Islam.

    Wael
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  2. Asalamu Alaikum,

    Firstly, sister, you say you are a Muslim woman, married to a Christian man? That is forbidden in Islam!

    I have only been a Muslim (female) for the past 12 months, and even I know that marrying a non Muslim man is wrong!! You don't say if you are converted Muslim or have been one all your life. I'm not being judgmental - but rules are there to be obeyed!!

    You say you've had money problems since the time you married. Maybe your husband is earning more money than you have had before - and you just couldn't 'help yourself' but spend the money - as you say using Credit Cards.

    My advice - go to the Credit Card Company and ask them if you can pay the debt in much smaller installments - and can they stop adding 'Interest' onto those cards - until you can at least get the debt down to a more manageable amount!!

    I think you are using these Credit Cards as a form of compensation because your husband works in another city, and you are lonely and have been left looking after your young children.

    One thing - if you do decide to declare bankruptcy - this will also affect your husbands Credit Rating for at least 7 years - depending on which country you live in, of course. I live in Australia, and they are the rules here with declaring bankruptcy.

    Once the 7 years - or whatever it may be, where you live - has passed - you can apply to have the Credit Rating reinstated. But, it is NOT automatic after that period. If you don't apply for it - you don't get it!!!

    Please go and see a Financial Adviser - they may have more options than we suggest here.

    I wish you all the best for the future with your husband and your small children - Inshallah

  3. Assalaamualaikam

    Financial problems are more and more common and, as you've found out, can lead to despair and desperation. Many of the world's societies today are built on foundations of debt - and this makes it even harder for people to avoid, as it's all around us. As has already been said, you'll also need to consider the implications of being in a relationship with a Christian man - you might want to search our archives to see more advice on this matter, as it is an important issue.

    If you haven't already, it's important to find out exactly what's happening with your money. Make a list of all the money that comes in and out of your accounts, and think about where it's going. Even at this stage, you might identify expenses that you can cut back, such as luxury 'essentials' like satellite or cable TV (TV isn't essential at all, really), or travelling expenses (walking is free and public transport can be cheap).

    Then, look at your energy providers and other people you give money to on a regular basis. It's often possible to get a better deal by shopping around. Do some research and compare a few companies, get a quote, then call up your current one and explain that you've found a better deal elsewhere. They might even be able to beat that 'better deal' (they won't want to lose a customer, after all)...

    Another big expenditure for any family is shopping. Think about where you're buying things - are there any cheaper options near you? Think about local shops, markets, discount stores. While going to a supermarket can be convenient (and can sometimes be the only practical option, depending on a person's circumstances), is there a cheaper one near you? Instead of spending money on branded products, buy own brand or discounted products where you can. If you need to buy clothes, look at charity shops and secondhand places first.

    A useful trick with credit cards can be to put them in water, in your freezer. This freezes them, so that if you want to use them, you have to defrost them. By the time you've defrosted them you may well not want the thing you were going to buy, and the effort involved in this may cause you to reflect on whether you really want to put so much effort into putting yourself further into debt. Obviously, you want to be in a position to get rid of them entirely, but this at least puts them out of the way.

    Once you've drawn up a basic budget to summarise your financial situation, go and speak with your local citizen's advice service - these are usually free and much better at looking out for you than some of the debt 'management' services you see advertised. Ask them to help you consolidate your debt and work out a repayment plan. They can then help you negotiate with the companies you owe money. Remember that, while these companies may present themselves as scary and powerful, they'd much rather reclaim some money than none, so you're likely to be able to work something out. Don't agree to anything you can't realistically afford, either.

    Remember as well, that money and possessions are temporary. While these are difficult times, they will inshaAllah pass. Your true wealth can be found in your faith and your children. So make sure you are living in accordance with Allah's guidance and trust in His Mercy.

    Midnightmoon
    IslamicAnswers.com editor

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