Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Will Allah permit a man to reject hoor al ayn?

heaven paradise

Assalamu Alaikum,

Please do not cite Hadiths about the virility and sexual capabilities of men in Jannah, as I have read them all and have experienced a loss of iman. It has been five years since I came across this topic, and have been extremely hurt by it.

It sounds stupid, i know, but throughout my life, I depended and turned to Allah s.w.t. I never knew I would have an amazing, loving husband as I do now, but I always knew that human beings are unfaithful. People make mistakes. I always knew that if people hurt me, Allah was always there. With this hoor al ayn idea, I started to feel as though even Allah is against me, naudhubillah.

My husband tells me that he loves me dearly, and has never felt the desire for other women. I know that in Jannah (please don't tell me to worry about getting there first, because I know it is difficult to achieve, I am just tired of getting those responses from scholars), people will not feel jealousy and this is the reason I always read about: that I will not care because I will not know what jealousy feels like.

On one hand I am told that in jannah women will be more superior than hoor al ayn, and on the other hand I am told they are there for men's pleasure. It is confusing... If the wife of this world is superior, why would the man go to the other women, since she will supposedly be most beautiful and assuming that all forms of attraction are based on
appearances? Moreover, if everyone will be beautiful, will people be attracted to other people's wives or husbands? I know that women will be restricted to one man while he will be married to many hoor, but will he also be attracted to other women, or will there be purdah/separation of genders in jannah too?

I always read that it is because men are more sexual than women and this motivates them in this world to stay away from zina. People ignore the fact that women are sexual beings too.. I'm sorry if I come off as rude but I am just frustrated. I have emailed so many scholars but they either never reply, or answer by saying I won't care if my husband has one wife or a million, and to worry about gettjng to jannah! Ok brother, but how can I become a better Muslim unless this is out of my mind and I can focus on praying and improving myself? I once emailed a sister and she told me it is my fault that I feel this way, and attributed it to my lack of self esteem... Okay, since when did asking a question mean I had no self confidence?!

So please reply if you can help. Moreover, everyone says women are jealous/emotional, whereas my husband's blood boils if a man even tries to talk to me, not in a psychotic way though, just very sweet if you know what I mean. However, if a man feels concern and loves his wife, it is labeled as ghirah, but if a woman feels that way about her husband, it is automatically considered jealousy or attributed to her being "emotional by nature." Most important of all is that my husband swears he loves me only, and would love to spend his whole life with me, now and in Jannah.

He is a very righteous man, Alhamdulilah, so I take his word as I know he does not lie, and it would be meaningless if he did. Does anyone think it is possible for just a couple to share marital bliss in Jannah if the man is content with this and does not want hoor al ayn? He always tells me that if we get there inshallah, Jannah is what we want it to be, and nothing is forced on us, so if he doesn't want other wives, he won't have them. I know this should be easy to comprehend as it does make sense, but I think the hadiths and lectures on the topic have scarred me in a way that cannot be repaired.

Some hadiths say that as soon as a man gets into jannah, he will find his way to his palace better than he knew the address to his home in tis world, and there will be hoors in each corner of the house that won't see the other wives.. There are also hadiths about how a man will have a tent/pearl that is 60 miles wide and will have wives in each corner. I am sorry for this long post, extremely sorry, but this has hurt my iman and I am very sad about why I cannot move past it and just go back to normal. My main concern now, after being blessed with such an amazing husband, alhamdulilah, is whether he is right in that he will be with only me in Jannah inshallah since that is what he desires.

Also, these hadiths have make me think that Jannah is x, y, and z, as described in hadiths, and that it is impossible for anything else to occur. Perhaps this is why I am having such difficulty accepting the simple fact that Janna is indeed what we want it to be, as demonstrated by many verses of the Quran. There is also a hadith, i don't remember it exactly but I know it's somethin about how in Jannah Inshallah people will prostrate to Allah but He will tell them to stop and they obeyed enough in this dunya, and it should be enough; now is their time to relax. This once again proves my husband's point, but maybe it's paranoia.

Any help is appreciated. Last but not least, in surah Yasin verse 51 it is mentioned that on the Day of Judgment the inhabitants of Paradise will be busy enjoying themselves, and some tafsir mention that the men will be "deflowering virgins." This also adds to my confusion because it once again makes me think that everything will happen as the hadiths say, and they are no exceptions, so if my husband makes it to jannah before me, he will already be with other women.

For some reason I get scared that, I don't know, not that we will be brainwashed, that is not the word, but I get scared that when Allah makes us forget jealousy, that we will be different from how we are now, and maybe even if a husband wants to be with his wife only, he will be "re-programmed" to want the hoor al ayn. Someone once said that by refusing them, a man is insulting Allah because it is one of his blessings, as stated in Surah Ar Rahman.

Any help would be appreciated, as I am very lost and find it difficult to open the Quran, and lately have been staying away from Islamic shows because death and this topic alwayscome up, and I feel uneasy. Sorry for it being so long, but please do not delete this post. Jazak Allah!!!

- AlwaysWorried


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42 Responses »

  1. Update message from Always worried:

    Is it haram not to have children?

    I guess I’m really late on this. I feel as though I spent my whole life imagining married life and thinking I’d want a child exactly 9 months later! As I’m getting older, I’m starting to realize the responsibilities that come with children. Many people have them, but do not know how to raise them. I feel as though those children will not be helping the ummah, but rather they will become a burden on society.

    Some people might say its cruel, but that’s just how I feel about it. If you don’t have the energy to instill values into your child, or you all of a sudden realize that you’d rather go out to dinner every Friday night and leave your child with a baby sitter, then maybe you should have thought about the consequences before you decided to have that child.

    I know Allah is the One in control and Who decides what happens, but we do have some control (whether we try to prevent it or not). Raising a child is as difficult as fortifying a city, if done properly. Many responsibilities come with a child, and lately I feel as though yes, I do love babies and think they’re cute, but those babies do grow up and get pretty annoying in their toddler years.

    I understand some people say that it is haram not to have a child, and that’s what bothers me a lot. I don’t want to do something haram, but I don’t want to have a child if I won’t raise it properly either. I think my husband and I have what it takes to become good parents, but we do not have patience. Also, I know I will be attacked for this, but the world is a cruel place.

    I know I will be told to have faith in Allah, but I have attended school/college in NY too, I know how it is. No matter how hard parents try to raise their children in an Islamic environment, they will nevertheless do something that their parents will never find out about. I do not want to go through that, and I feel that even if I had a child I would want only one.

    If this child will not be righteous, as almost nobody is nowadays, then there is no point. Yes, there are huffaz, but I went to school with some and you would be surprised at the things they said and did in school! But in masjid, of course they were one of the "righteous brothers, Alhamdulilah." of course their parents were unaware of it, and there really is not a way to "protect" your children.

    There isn't. I think you do a lot worse if you have a child but fail to raise it righteously either due to the society he or she lives in, or whatever other circumstances, than not to have a child at all. Who said my child will want to follow my religion and become part of the ummah anyway? I don’t know. There is not much I can doubt in this day and age, who knows what the future generations will be like. I’d appreciate any responses.

    Jazak Allah khair.

    -AlwaysWorried

  2. Assalaamu alaikum sister Always worried.

    Will Allah permit a man to reject hoor al ayn?

    Im afraid this is a question which cannot be answered completely and safely. We only know what Allah swt has told us about Jannat or what is revealed through the Sunnah. I always decided I wanted a kitten in Jannat as I am allergic and had to give mine away - but Jannat must be Jannat for the kitten too - I dont know if I'll get it or even if I will want it then. We don't know what we will want. I understand how you feel - many women feel uncomfortable about the hoor al ayns. What I do know is that whatever happens - we will be happy fulfilled. There will be no jealousy or ill feelings in Jannat. We won't be 'checking each other out' either. There are some things which we will never fully comprehend in this life. Jannat is one of them. I advise you to try to stop worrying about Hoor al Ayns etc - focus on getting to Jannat and KNOW with certainty that if you get there you WILL be happy.

    Is it haram not to have children?

    As Muslims we are strongly encouraged to have children if we can. Here is a hadith and commentary:

    Abu Dawood (2050) narrated that Ma’qil ibn Yasaar said: A man came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said, “I have found a woman who is of good lineage and is beautiful, but she does not children. Should I marry her?” He said, “No.” Then he came again with the same question and he told him not to marry her. Then he came a third time with the same question and he said: “Marry those who are loving and fertile, for I will be proud of your great numbers before the other nations.” Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Irwa’ al-Ghaleel, 1784.

    This hadeeth indicates that it is encouraged to marry women who are fertile, so that the numbers of the ummah will increase, and so the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) will feel proud of his ummah before all other nations. This shows that it is encouraged to have a lot of children.

    Al-Ghazaali said that when a man gets married, intending thereby to have children, that this is an act of worship for which he will be rewarded because of his good intention. He explained that in several ways:

    1 – This is in accordance with what Allaah wants, which is to perpetuate the human race.

    2 – Seeking the love of the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) in having many children, so that he will feel proud of them before the other Prophets and nations on the Day of Resurrection.

    3 – Seeking barakah (blessing) and a great deal of reward, and forgiveness of sins through the du’aa’ of a righteous child after one dies.

    It is well known that since ancient times children have been the hope of the Prophets and Messengers and all of the righteous slaves of Allaah, and that will continue to be the case so long as man’s innate nature (fitrah) remains sound. Children are a blessing whom people love and on whom they pin their hopes.

    Again my dear sister- it seems you are insecure and don't trust your own ability/judgement. You may feel your not able now - but if this situation arose, you would cope. Sister, you don't know whether or not the child will be righteous. As a parent your duty is to bring the child up as best you can according to Islam. Ask Allah to protect them and guide them. You will be rewarded Immensely for your correct intention regardless of whether the child is righteous or not.

    Children are a HUGE blessing from Allah swt. So don't deny his blessings for wordly reasons. Remember that being a mother opens many doors for you to gain reward. Childbirth cleanses you of your sins.

    These children will be the future Ummah. They will pray for you after you have passed away.

    I pray Allah guides you to make the right choice
    Ameen

    Sara
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor
    x

    • Thanks for your help. However, I don't understand why I am labeled as "insecure." You've never felt this way before? Or perhaps you are not married or do not have a strong bond with your husband? Either way, I am not insecure, and I do trust my ability/judgment. My point is that children nowadays do lots of things behind their parents' back. Even the "best" kids. Maybe you did not understand my point. Anyway, Jazak Allah.

      • Assalaamu alaikum. Please forgive me for assuming - my intention was not to undermine your feelings in anyway. I just re-read your post and on reflection I dont see anything on you saying you are insecure - so no idea where I got that from. I will refrain from editing/commenting late - so im actually awake! Alhumdulilah though, I am glad you are not insecure and that you have a strong bond with your husband. No I havent felt this way - I am not married, so it may be the reason we are not on the same page - I dont understand these feelings.

        Yes I do understand that point - I see some of the kids nowadays and they have no respect. May Allah swt give us the best of children.
        Ameen

      • salaam "Alaykum to all dear sisters.
        i thank Allaah that you have a good husband who seems to to please you.

        wallaahi, the truth is that when a man sees the huur al 'ayn, how he will be able to reject them is the question.
        the chance of any man rejecting them after he sees them is just negligilbe to be honest.

        ofcourse without a shadow of a doubt the women of this world will be more beautifull,better, but it seems like no man will reject any woman in jannah, whether the huur al ayn, or the daughters of aadam.

        i hear that some muslimahs even ask their husbands to put their hands on the Qur'aan and swear to reject the huur, and like idiots, they do it.apart from the fact that him swearing on the qur'aan for such a petty things on the order of his wife shows that some "men" nowadays are slaves to their wives instead of being their leaders, shows that a man who says he will reject the huur al 'ayn, is outright lying!

        im sorry if insults any man who swears to his wife he will not want the huur al 'ayn.

        but, please sisters, dont make your husbands say/promise that which will not be able to do, or that which will be a sin upon him/yourselves

        "Oh prophet[saww], why do you forbid yourself that which Allaah has made LAWFULL for you in order to please your wives, and Allaah is most......"

        the sabab of nuzool of this very aayah was revealed because of a jealousy story.JUST LIKE THESE MUSLIM MEN PROMISE FORBID THEMSELVES what is halaal, the prophet[saww] also forbade himself what is halaal.
        wallaahi, TO ANY MAN WHO SAYS TO HIS WIFE THINGS LIKE "i promise to stay away from the huur al 'ayn", IN THIS AAYAH WHICH IS BASED UPON AN IDENTICLE STORY, IS A REPREHENSION, DISCOURAGEMENT, negation of such an act.

        in the qur'aan&sunnah is a similtude for every possible case which can arise in our lives.

        was there any woman who is more jealous,loving than the mothers of believers, especially Ummunaa 'Aaishah [may Allaah be pleased with her], and even so, Allaah tells them to controll their feelings.

        i fully undertand how you feel sister, but i and all other muslimahs need to controll their jealousy

  3. Salam-Alekum,
    Sister your post is so nice MashaAllah. MashaAllah, you are lucky to have such a good husband. And MashaAllah your husband is lucky to have such a good wife. MashaAllah. May Allah keep you guys happy and together in this world and hereafter. And May you be united for united in highest levels of Jannah. Also, sister do pray for all of us.

    Sister, I am not an alim and know less about islam than what you know.
    Regarding Tafseer point, while reading about islam, if something does not sit well with me than I'll try to figure out if that thing is really mentioned in Quran or Sahih Hadith. If its not than I'll not put any heed to it. You mentioned some tafseer mentioning men deflowering virgins.... I have heard this first time in my life and frankly I won't consider it a fact until I see it in Quran or Sahih hadith.

    Its mentioned in Surah Sajdah(41), Ayah 31.
    "We are your protectors in this life and i"n the Hereafter: therein shall ye have all that your souls shall desire; therein shall ye have all that ye ask for"

    If we consider this ayah, it means that we'll have everything that we desire in hereafter. Nothing is going to be put down our throats which we don't want. We humans and our souls are created by Allah(s.w.t) and he knows what we can desire and ask for and what we can't desire or can't ask for. In my limited knowledge, hoors etc. are optional if you want them ok. if you don't its ok. I mean what if someone does not even desire a hoor? Than he/she won't get it, I think.

    BTW if any man's wife is standing right next to him in Jannah than how can he dare to ask for any hoor :-P.

    Joke aside I think all these bounties are there to tell 'momnineen' that there are unimaginable and unlimited things ahead and these are just the previews. I think there will not be anything in hereafter that we will not want. I think these previews are for the people to have some imagination of what is going to come ahead. And to tell them that although we care for these things in this world so much but they'll be available in such high numbers and quality in Jannah.

    regards,

    • Jazak Allah Khair. Your response is greatly appreciated. I agree with you. You got the main point down in your last sentence. It is just to prove a point, especially for men who are interested in it.

    • And I do make dua for everyone. Thanks for your sweet wishes!

  4. Dear Always Worried,

    Oh I can understand you so well. I think many women are jealous by nature because there are so

    many of us. I personally think the jealousy of the husband as well as the gheyra of the wife are

    legitimate. Every woman who adores her husband is jealous and the more we love them, the more

    jealous are we. When you are in love with a man you desire him, you are passionate and

    it is like a hot fire burning within you. The warmer you are as a person, the more jealous you will get.

    Jealousy is passion and very often, being "zealous" can save a marriage. Jealousy shows love,

    that you care for your partner. Whenever my husband is jealous, I feel confirmed in my beauty.

    I can't hear it any longer, work on your self-esteem. Jealousy, if not exaggerated and sick, can be the

    proof of love and passion in a marriage. But sister, you worry too much about small issues. Look, there

    were times in my marriage when I couldn't even tolerate another woman looking at my husband or

    being flirtatious. Meanwhile I have learned that this is part of life and other people aren't worth it.

    You live in the dunya, he lives in the dunya and in Akhira, you will be the most beautiful anyway.

    If he rejects the hooris because he loves you , that' s fine. If he has already had 200 hooris before

    you get there, he can still leave them and fall into your arms.

    And if you won't feel jealous in Jannah, you won't even bother. So why all the fuss?

    I think it's really sweet how much you care about your husband. I never thought there would be any woman

    out there who loves her husband as much as I love mine. I know this feeling, it's like a sword in your chest

    when you think of him lying in the arms of another woman. It's like an arrow piercing your body into pieces.

    And it's not sick, it's human. This is the way passion feels like. True passion and emotions. Nobody has

    the right to question your self-esteem. But Sis, you're giving yourself a hard time. I am jealous, too, but

    I would never think of the situation in Jannah, I think that's too complicated for us to understand.

    Be happy that you have a faithful husband, take his pledge and believe in it. No Hoori will be more

    beautiful than us in Jannah, and in the meantime, we need the make-up industry.

    Wasalam, Fi Aman Allah

    • Jazak Allah khair. I agree with you. Why am I "insecure" while if a man feels jealous, it is his "manly gheyra"?? Thanks for understanding. I agree with every single point you have made. You are my long lost sister!

  5. i agree with always worried ....woman has desires too... im married but i desire a husband from jannah "mr perfect" one who is purely a virgin 😉 what i mean by purely is one who has gazed at the most beautiful women but have never fallen for them but when he will see me it will be love at first site ooolalala and its a long story ive planned in my mind lol i dont desire a man from the dunya ok and i havent thought of the prophet s.a.w in that way... but what i mean is i have a husband now mashlh alhmdlh but im sure and certain in his life he has seen more beautiful and in some way or another he looks at them thinking wow and to me i feel i must be the wow u know not them.... but he is human u know and well i might sound sick when i say this but human is not my type i mean which human man will if askd by the wife on a working day spend the day with me then he cuddles u whole day makes u laugh talk abt islam till late then you talk and laugh so much when u look at the time its fajr the next day? and which human will buy you a house and plant all different colours of roses around it just for you,and everyday tells you you are so beautiful my beloved wife may Allah grant you jannah for i appreciate all you do for me only the pious ones which are rare i mean like reallly pious simple so loving.... so like i desire a jannati inshlh

  6. Assalamu Alikum Warahamathallahi Wabarakathuhu My dear sister

    Mashallah, i'm really happy for you sis. I've been using this site for some months now, and all i see is marriage problems, divorces, zina etc. May Allah(swt) bless you and your husband in this dunya and akhira. I was just reading a book sis about what happens after death and thought of mentioning few points here to you.

    Its going to be a long post from the book, but please bear with me:
    " when the believer is dying, the angels come to him and speak to him and he speaks to them without the people present being aware of this, the soul earns to meet His Lord and leaves the body with ease....then the angels take the soul up from heaven to heaven and every angel in every heaven he passes through prays for his blessing...Finally, the body is buried and soul returns to between the body and the shroud. This return is speak return for questioning by Munkar and Nakir...After that a door onto the fire is opened and he is told "Look! This would have been your place in the Fire if you rebelled against Allah and Allah had exchanged your place in the Garden for it" Then the door is locked and another door onto the Garden is opened and he sees his place there. This door will remain until the Day of Rising..He sleeps in peace just as if he were in one of the meadows of the Garden....This spacious, light, greenery in which the beleiver remains from the time of his death until the Day of Rising"

    This is from the book: 'The soul's journey after death' with commentary by Layla Mabrouk and these few post applies to someone who has decalared that Allah(swt) is the one he worships when he's questioned by the angels. Sis, even if you hsuabnd dies before you, he will not reach Jannah, he will sleep in the place between 2 doors: Fire and Paradise. When we're all risen up on the Day of Judgment, then Allah(swt) will judge us according to our good and bad deeds and then we will live in Paradise with the husband who you married last, before dying.

    I know i've just covered one aspect of yout Q's but i'm no expert BUT the book i took the post from is really GOOD. Try to purchase it yourself and see and maybe then things will become much clearer.

    And as for kids sis, we're both very alike. I personally dont want kids either..well, i have to get married first but anyway, i was thinking why go through so much pain to have kids? why not enjoy life as it is? Just me and my husband? BUT i realised that my children will be part of Muslim Ummah. In a hadith, our prophet commands the men to marry a woman whose fertile so when we're raised up in the Day of Juudgment, he will see BIG muslim ummah. A pregnant woman has so many blessing from the angels, the pray for her, and there is so much reward just for being pregnant. As for being a mother, I'm sure you heard of the famous quote "paradise lies in the feet of your mother"..how cool is that? my kids paradise lies in my feet?
    We're given a very important role in islam for being a mother. BUT sit down with your husband and decide between yourself. Thats the best way. And the best part is you get to name your kids..i've already chosen the names..if its a boy it has to be Zakariyya..BUT i keep forgetting that i'm not married YET.

    I hope i have helped in some way. Take care sis.

    • I agree. I just have so many family members around me who have parents who put 120% of themselves into raising their kids, yet they are not good Muslims. I understans the Islamic point, and that the Prophet s.a.w. said he wants to see a large number of us, but really, are we supposed to take it literally? How many women will have 15 children each? Yes, Muslims should have kids. Yes women are rewarded for it. Yes, women are given high status because of it. Maybe it's not for everyone though. Sister Sara said that children will pray for you after death. That is one of the blessings of having children, but not many people (adults who are parents) pray themselves. Even those who do, their kids do not. It is America, you can't force your child to pray. My point is that there's no guarantee that they will pray or be good Muslims, as the prophet s.a.w. intended them to be.

  7. MashaAllah beautiful responses.
    Do any other readers have any additional advice for the second question.:

    Is it haram not to have children?

    Sara
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  8. it is haraam to use contraceptives or any kind of treatment or anything else if your intention is to not get pregnant because getting pregnant is the will of Allah and you trying to change it.... just as it is haraam to change your nose or skin to a different colour it means your not grateful and your not excepting the will of Allah the nose and skin he created you want to change.....

    • haniyya, you HAVE TO stop spreading false information on this website. First you claimed that women cannot approach men to propose marriage, which is totally incorrect, now you are claiming that contraceptives are haram. That is the position of the Catholic church, not Islam. Sheikh M. S. Al-Munajjid, a prominent Saudi Islamic lecturer and author, says about this:

      "The answer to question of contraception is found in the following three points:

      1. Giving birth is the right of both husband and wife, and neither one of them has the right to deprive the other from doing so.

      2. It is prohibited to take any measure which would permanently prevent pregnancy, or cause infertility. It is permissible, however, to use temporary birth control methods to delay pregnancy, as in the case of delaying pregnancy for the two years of breastfeeding the first child.

      3. It is prohibited to use any birth control method which would harm the body, as the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: 'Do not (impose) harm, nor (inflect) harm.'"

      ***

      Sister haniyya, I appreciate your participation on this website. But you cannot give fatwas from your own personal opinion or cultural bias.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • so where did i spread false info wael? i will say it again and read properly this time( it is haraam to use contraceptives or any kind of treatment or anything else if your intention is to not get pregnant because getting pregnant is the will of Allah and you trying to change it.... it is haraam to use contraceptives or any kind of treatment or anything else if your intention is to not get pregnant IF YOUR INTRENTION IS TO NOT GET PREGNANT do you know what that means it means what you have read TO NOT GET PREGNANT obviously if there could be life threatening matter conraceptives could be used or if you wana delay it BUT IT IS HARAAM IF YOUr intention is to NOT GET PREGNANT just like PIG IS HARAAM u can only eat it if your xtremly hungry almost dying and its the only food available..... what other wrong fatawa did i give? pls state it as i wouldnt want to be spreading false FATAWAS and pls stop imbaracing yourself wael 😉

        • sorry for not explaining my short sentence in detail i didnt mean for it to be general i was simply refering to the specific women who wrote the post she said( If this child will not be righteous, as almost nobody is nowadays, then there is no point) and that is not a valid reason she dosnt wana have kids coz of dat reason 🙁

        • I've had enough sister, I'm putting you on moderated status.

          Wael
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

        • Everything you have stated is incorrect. Obviously the purpose of contraception is to prevent pregnancy. For what other purpose would it be used? In the time of the Prophet (pbuh) the Sahabah used to practice coitus interruptus, which means to withdraw the penis before ejaculation, in order to prevent pregnancy. It's an inefficient method. Nowadays we have more modern methods, such as condoms.

          Read any of the fatwas on this subject by Yusuf Al-Qaradawi, Sheikh Al Munajjid, or others. Contraception is NOT haram.

          Wael
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

          • no contraception is a pill which a women takes everyday if she missses one day and has sex on that day she could get pregnant .... some women use it because they do not want to conceive many reasons .... cant support for the baby....just dont want kids.....weak....ill....or wants to delay the pregnancy....
            b) Taking birth control pills: Almost all the scholars including Shaykh Ibn Baaz, Council of the Senior Scholars [of Saudi Arabia] agree that it is not allowed to take birth control pills (Fataawa al-Marah) because of its side effects and changes in the normal physiology.

            c) Copper-T: A very common temporary method of family planning or contraception is Copper-T. Though it is known as ‘contraception’ but technically it is contra-implantation. The sperm fertilizes the ovum but the zygote formed is destroyed by the Copper-T and is prevented from being implanted on the uterine wall (mother’s womb). Thus it is a very early abortion, which is prohibited in Islam.

            Some “scholars” out of ignorance permit this temporary method of family planning without knowing its detail.

            d) Coitus Interruptus (‘Azl): Coitus Interruptus is permissible as long as it is performed with mutual consent of both the husband and wife since both of them have equal right to have children.

            This is based on the Hadith of Jabir (RA) who said: “We used to practice (‘Azl) coitus interruptus during the days when the Qur’an was being revealed”.

            Jabir added: “We used to practice coitus interruptus during the lifetime of Allah’s Messenger while the Qur’an was being revealed.” (Sahih Bukhari vol. 7, Hadith no. 136)
            YOU CANNOT COMPARE AZL TO CONTRACEPTIVES WITHDRAWAL IS TOTALLY HALAAL YOU HARMING NOBODY AND PREVENTING NOTHING COZ U STARTED NOTHING YOU JUST LET YOUR SPERM FLOW OUT OF THE WOMEN

            e) As regarding other temporary Methods of family planning like condom etc., the scholars are divided whether their use is permitted or not. Allah (swt) has provided a natural method of planning the family, which is medically known as lactation amenorrhea. After the women gives birth to a child, till she breast feeds she does not have her menstrual cycle, thus the chances of pregnancy in this period of lactation is minimal.

            Allah says in the Qur’an “The mothers shall give suck to their offspring for two whole years...” (Al-Qur’an 2:233)

            Allah (swt) says in the Qur’an “And they plotted and planned and Allah too planned and the best of planners is Allah (swt)” (Al-Qur’an 3:54).

            If you feel you can plan the family better, the choice is yours or else leave it to Allah (swt) to do the best planning for your family.

            Allah knows the best.

          • "Haram" is a strong word and one should becareful about it's use. Because if it's "haram" if a person does it then they are sinful. However they are different opinion, Yusuf Qaradawi often lack compared to other opinions, wa Allahu Alim.
            Here is one....

            Umm Abdullah
            IslamicAnswers.com Editor

            ------------

            Claiming Birth Control is Permissible

            Contradicts the Shari`ah, Fitrah (Natural Disposition), and the Interests of the Ummah (Nation based on one Creed)

            Praise be to Allah. Peace and blessings be upon the Messenger of Allah, his family, and Companions.

            A local newspaper recently published a statement that His Eminence, General Mufty of Jordan issued a Fatwa (legal opinion issued by a qualified Muslim scholar) permitting birth control and that since the government makes decision to this effect, it will be binding. This news circulated among people and became a topic of talk to the astonishment and denunciation of Muslims. Therefore, many wonder about the ruling on this issue and whether such Fatwa is right or wrong, so I felt I am obliged to point out the evidence of the Shar` (Law) of Allah (Glorified and Exalted be He) in this issue. May Allah guide me and you to reach Al-Haqq (the Truth)! I have looked into the aforementioned Fatwa and pondered on the evidences that His Eminence, General Mufty of Jordan, relied on to issue this Fatwa that deems birth control permissible and states that since the government approved of birth control, it should be put into effect. I found him based his Fatwa on the Saying of Allah (Glorified and Exalted be He): And let those who find not the financial means for marriage keep themselves chaste, until Allâh enriches them of His Bounty. and on the saying of the Prophet (peace be upon him): 'O young people! Whoever among you is able to marry, should marry, for marriage would help him lower his gaze and keep his virtue and whoever is not able to marry, is recommended to observe Sawm (Fast), for Sawm would diminish his sexual desire and the Hadiths that support the permissibility of coitus interruptus. These are the evidences cited by the Mufty in support of this serious Fatwa.
            There is something else which he used to pave the way for the Fatwa; he said literally at the beginning of the Fatwa: "The world is increasingly
            (Part No. 3; Page No. 327)

            concerned with overpopulation everywhere. Experts consider this as a warning of woe, destruction and great troubles." Then he said at the end of the Fatwa, "If the government makes a decision to this effect, then it will be binding, for it is agreed upon that if the ruler adopted a Da`if (weak) opinion, it becomes imperative."
            End of quote.
            Whoever has insight and knowledge and ponders on the evidence the Mufty relied upon would realize that he made a mistake and that the evidence he presented bears no support to the Fatwa. As a poet puts it:

            She went eastward and I went westward
            there is a great difference between east and west

            The Noble Ayah (Qur'anic verse), the Mufty quoted, is said by Allah (Glorified and Exalted be He) after His Saying: And marry those among you who are single (i.e. a man who has no wife and the woman who has no husband) and (also marry) the Sâlihûn (pious, fit and capable ones) of your (male) slaves and maid-servants (female slaves). If they be poor, Allâh will enrich them out of His Bounty. And Allâh is All-Sufficient for His creatures’ needs, All-Knowing (about the state of the people). Then He (Exalted be He) says: And let those who find not the financial means for marriage keep themselves chaste, until Allâh enriches them of His Bounty. Thus, Allah (Exalted be He) orders and urges people to marry; He promises the one who is going to marry to enrich him if he is poor, to encourage him to take this step, having confidence in Allah and depending on His Bounties and Favors and Knowledge of the affairs of His People. Therefore, Allah (Glorified and Exalted be He) says: And Allâh is All-Sufficient for His creatures’ needs, All-Knowing (about the state of the people). Then, He orders he who cannot afford to marry should keep himself chaste until Allah (Exalted be He) enriches him of His Bounty. Where is the supporting evidence in this Ayah for birth control? The Mufty claims that Allah's Command for he who cannot afford marriage to keep himself chaste, indicates the permissibility of birth control, since delaying marriage due to lack of means leads to delaying progeny or even preventing it if one died before
            (Part No. 3; Page No. 328)

            getting married. This is a strange argument and odd evidence that has nothing at all to do with the Ayah. Allah is the One Whose Help is sought.
            Al-Hafiz Ibn Kathir (may Allah be merciful with him) when interpreting this Ayah said: "This is an order to marry and some scholars hold the view that this is obligatory on the able and cite the apparent saying of the Prophet (peace be upon him): 'O young people! Whoever among you is able to marry, should marry, for marriage would help him lower his gaze and keep his virtue and whoever is not able to marry, is recommended to observe Sawm, for Sawm would diminish his sexual desire. (Reported in the Two Sahih (authentic) Books of Hadith (i.e. Al-Bukhari and Muslim) on the authority of Ibn Mas`ud) It is reported in Sunan (Hadith compilations classified by jurisprudential themes) that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: Marry very prolific women and give birth for children, for I will boast of your large numbers in front of other Ummahs (nations based on one creed) on the Day of Judgment. In another narration the phrase "even the miscarried fetus" is added. The word Ayama (singles) is used to refer to the woman who has no husband and the man who has no wife whether he married before and then separated or neither of them married before, as quoted by Al-Jawhary from the linguistics. Allah's Saying (Exalted be He): If they be poor, Allâh will enrich them out of His Bounty. `Aly ibn Abu Talha reported from Ibn `Abbas (may Allah be pleased with them) that Allah urged them to marry and ordered the free and slaves to do so and promised to enrich them by saying, If they be poor, Allâh will enrich them out of His Bounty. Ibn Abu Hatim said that Mahmud ibn Khalid Al-Azraq reported from `Umar ibn `Abdul-Wahid from Sa`id Ibn `Abdul-Aziz that he said, "I was informed that Abu Bakr Al-Siddiq (may Allah be pleased with him) said, 'Obey Allah with regard to His Command to you concerning marriage and He will fulfill His Promise to enrich you.' Allah (Exalted be He) says: If they be poor, Allâh will enrich them out of His Bounty. (Related by Ibn Jarir) It is mentioned by Al-Baghawy from `Umar and Al-Layth from Muhammad ibn `Ajlan from Sa`id Al-Maqbury on the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said" "There are three who are entitled to Allah’s Help: the one who gets married, seeking chastity, the slave who made a contract of manumission with his master to buy his freedom,
            (Part No. 3; Page No. 329)

            and the Mujahid (one striving/fighting in the Cause of Allah)." (Related by Al-Imam Ahmad, Al-Tirmidhy, Al-Nasa'y and Ibn Majah)
            The Prophet (peace be upon him) let the man who had nothing but his Izar (garment worn below the waist) and could not afford to buy a ring of iron marry the woman he wanted and made her advanced Mahr (mandatory gift to a bride from her groom) that the man would teach her what he learn by heart from the Ever-Glorious Qur'an. It is well-known that Allah (Exalted be He) will suffice them out of His Kindness and Compassion.
            With regard to what people circulate as a Hadith "Marry the poor and Allah will enrich you," this is not a Hadith; it is baseless and it was not narrated either by a strong nor Da`if (weak) Sanad (chain of narrators). The Ever-Glorious Qur'an is full of sufficient evidence and so are the Hadiths which I mentioned. All praise is due to Allah. With regard to the Saying of Allah (Exalted be He), And let those who find not the financial means for marriage keep themselves chaste, until Allâh enriches them of His Bounty. this is an order from Allah (Exalted be He) to the one who cannot afford the means for marriage to keep himself chaste by abstaining from sexual relations, as the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: 'O young people, whoever among you is able to marry, should marry, for marriage would help him lower his gaze and keep his virtue and whoever is not able to marry, is recommended to observe Sawm, for Sawm would diminish his sexual desire. End of quote. Therefore, what we mentioned before and quoted from Al-Hafizh ibn Kathir (may Allah be merciful with him) in the Tafsir (explanation/exegesis of the meanings of the Qur'an) of the aforementioned Ayahs, their meanings become quite clear to readers, and they do indicate the permissibility of marriage and encourage it. Indeed, marriage involves great interests, including satisfaction of desire, chastity, lowering of the gaze, and reproduction. Taking this evidence as a pretext to make birth control permissible is strange and utterly wrong.
            With regard to the Hadith reported by Ibn Mas`ud (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: 'O young people! Whoever among you is able to marry, should marry, for marriage would help him lower his gaze and keep his virtue and whoever is not able to marry, is recommended to observe Sawm, for Sawm would diminish his sexual desire this provides evidence of what is indicated by the two Ayahs i.e. encouraging and urging people to get married and pointing out some of its rulings and wisdoms. The Hadith also indicates that it is prescribed for the one who is unable to afford the means to marry to observe Sawm, for it weakens the desire and blocks the means of Satan. It is a means of virtue and lowering the gaze; it does not support birth control; rather, it
            (Part No. 3; Page No. 330)

            indicates the permissibility of delaying marriage till one is able to afford its costs and the permissibility of adopting the means of keeping one's virtue in order not to fall in any prohibited act. With regard to arguing in favor of birth control on the ground of the Hadiths permitting coitus interruptus, this is utterly wrong and contradictory to the purposes of the Shari`ah. Coitus interruptus signifies the sexual intercourse deliberately interrupted by withdrawal of the penis from the vagina prior to ejaculation, so that the woman would not get pregnant. This could be adopted in times of need such as when the woman is ill or is breastfeeding and getting pregnant could harm her or her child, hence, coitus interruptus could be practiced or any other reasonable permissible means that could stop pregnancy for a period of time. This does not involve birth control; rather, it is just administering some means that delay pregnancy for a Shar`y (Islamically lawful) purpose; this is not prohibited, according to the soundest opinion of scholars as indicated by the Hadiths that permit coitus interruptus. Besides, coitus interruptus does not necessarily prevent conception, since Maniy or some of it may flow before it and the woman gets pregnant by the Will of Allah. In his comment on coitus interruptus, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: There is no soul created but Allah created it It is reported that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Not from semen as a whole (but from a small part of it i.e., the sperm) conception happens.” Consequently, there is no evidence in the Hadiths mentioning coitus interruptus in favor of birth control, for whoever fairly considers the matter. We ask Allah to grant us, the general Mufty in Jordan and all Muslims success to attain Al-Haqq and safety from misunderstanding. Verily, Allah is the best to be sought.
            In the light of what we mentioned and what has been quoted from the scholars, it becomes clear that permitting birth control is a measure that goes against the Shari`ah that seeks to fulfill perfect interests and deny and lessen corruption. This measure is also contrary to the sound Fitrah (natural disposition); for Allah created people instinctively loving children and seeking all means to procreate. Allah (Exalted be He) makes this favor one of the adornments of the worldly life,
            when He (Exalted be He) says: And Allâh has made for you Azwâj (mates or wives) of your own kind, and has made for you, from your wives, sons and grandsons, and has bestowed on you good provision.
            (Part No. 3; Page No. 331)

            He (Exalted be He) says: Wealth and children are the adornment of the life of this world. Whoever ponders on the situation will realize that permitting birth control goes against the interests of the Muslim Ummah (nation based on one creed), since procreation is one of the means of the power, honor, sovereignty of the Ummah; and on the contrary, birth control leads to the shortage, weakness, and annihilation of the Ummah. This is quite clear to all reasonable people, without the need of seeking evidence. With regard to the Mufty's fear of overpopulation and the experts sayings that such foretells woes and destruction, this is beyond reason, let alone that a scholar gives heed to it and relies on it in issuing rulings that contradict the Shari`ah. The Ghayb (the Unseen) is known only to Allah (Glorified be He), the Creator and Sustainer of all creations. In the Ever-Glorious Qur'an, He (Glorified and Exalted be He) says: And I (Allâh) created not the jinn and mankind except that they should worship Me (Alone). I seek not any provision from them (i.e. provision for themselves or for My creatures) nor do I ask that they should feed Me (i.e. feed themselves or My creatures). Verily, Allâh is the All-Provider, Owner of Power, the Most Strong. He (Glorified and Exalted be He) says: And no moving (living) creature is there on earth but its provision is due from Allâh. He (Glorified and Exalted be He) says: And so many a moving (living) creature carries not its own provision! Allâh provides for it and for you. And He is the All-Hearer, the All-Knower. He (Glorified and Exalted be He) says: so seek your provision from Allâh (Alone), and worship Him (Alone), and be grateful to Him. To Him (Alone) you will be brought back. It is authentically reported from the Prophet (peace be upon him) in many Sahih Hadiths that when Allah creates the fetus, He orders the angel to write down his livelihood, age, and deeds. Every creature has his subsistence ordained for him according to the means which Allah (Exalted be He) makes available. How could a reasonable person consider birth control commendable or permissible out of fear of poverty, while Allah (Glorified be He) is the Sustainer and Able of everything. If the population
            (Part No. 3; Page No. 332)

            have grown everywhere, the means of production and subsistence have also developed everywhere. They have become easier and more diverse than before. This is one of the signs of Allah's Wisdom, Perfect Omnipotence and Great Care of the interests of His Servants. How could it be accepted from a Muslim to misunderstand Allah (Exalted be He) and permit birth control to the Ummah and even make this binding if the state approved of it, for fear of poverty and lack of supplies. Where is belief in Allah, confidence in His Saying, and Tawakkul (putting one’s trust in Allah)? Moreover, this incorrect thinking bears resemblance to the Kafirs (disbelievers/non-Muslims) who used to kill their children for fear of poverty. Allah (Exalted be He) renounced this act and blamed them for this in His Saying: kill not your children because of poverty - We provide sustenance for you and for them In Surah (Qur'anic chapter) Al-Isra', Allah (Glorified be He) says: And kill not your children for fear of poverty. We shall provide for them as well as for you. Surely, the killing of them is a great sin. With regard to the Mufty's saying at the end of the Fatwa that if the state approved of this act, it is binding, for it is agreed upon that if the ruler adopted even a weak opinion, it becomes binding, this saying is degrading and is utterly false. The government is to be obeyed in Ma`ruf (that which is judged as good, beneficial, or fitting by Islamic law and Muslims of sound intellect), not that which causes harm to the Ummah and contradicts the purified Shari`ah. Permitting birth control contradicts the Shari`ah and the interests of the Ummah, so how could be binding? Allah (Glorified and Exalted be He) says concerning His Prophet (peace be upon him): and that they will not disobey you in Ma‘rûf (Islâmic Monotheism and all that which Islâm ordains) He (peace be upon him) enjoins only the Ma`ruf, but Allah (Glorified and Exalted be He) intends to inform the Ummah and guide it to the fact that obeying the rulers is restricted to the Ma`ruf (that which is judged as good, beneficial, or fitting by Islamic law and Muslims of sound intellect). It is authentically reported that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: Obedience is only with regard to that which is Ma`ruf He
            (Part No. 3; Page No. 333)

            (peace be upon him) also said: There is no obedience to a creature in disobedience to the Creator. There are many Hadith to the same effect. This is a brief word to manifest Al-Haqq, remove doubts, and guide Muslims to the opinion of Shari`ah that we know in this concern. I ask Allah to guide us and all Muslims to what pleases Him, help us all comprehend the religion, and remain adherent to it, and to protect us against all delusive Fitnahs (trials) and the insinuations of Satan. Allah is Able to do all things. May Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon His Servant and Messenger Muhammad, his family, and Companions.

          • Umm Abdullah, the opinion I quoted above is by Sheikh M. S. Al-Munajjid (as stated), a well known Saudi scholar, and hardly someone who would be accused of being liberal. Not by Sheikh Qaradawi.

            Wael
            IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  9. in one way or other i m happy ..
    because i used to think i m the only one so much jealous ,, dont take it hard but really
    i m not yet married .. one day my father told me about hoor in jannah and it reallly made me cry the whole night
    the next day i talked with my fiance and he kept laughing he is alhamdulilah very understnding ..

    but u know it s jannnah for me .. jannah is a place where we get evrything we desire for .. so ALLAh will do somthing about ur this feeling coz i have the same issues as urs and i feel very shy to ask this from anyone but there is this trust inside me which tells me Allah will manage that ! Allah never want His people to b sad so He will be having an answer ! trust their might be somthing which u r okay with ! trust blindly and it will help alot

    after that day i never talked about hoor but somwhere in a cornor that thing is still there but a trust that Allah will manage my that feeling and will do a solution for that

    plus now when i talked with my fiance he said " i will not reject any blessing Allah gives me "
    i said "dont do that ..but there must be somthing "
    he said " u will bbusy doing somthin in jannah n then i can go to hoor"
    i said " Allah is there , i ll pray that finish my that work in a sec n then i can b with u .. its jannat Allah can do that"
    he said " what if Allah make duplicates of me for all those hoor"
    i said " i dont mind coz i have the real one with me"

    i dont know if what i talk is okay or dont .. but i know one thing Allah can do evrything and anything ...And he will manage all ... just trust ALLAH n thats it !

    about the second thing about children
    being a mom is the best feeling and there must be somthing in a mom .. thats the reason Allah puts jannah under her feeet ( i always hear that "janaat maa key kadmoon taly hai"), i m waiting for my marriage
    and whenevr i think one day i ll b a mom it just gives me the best feelings ever and i alwyz pray that make me capable that i can give my children the best and make him/her a nice muslim ! i will try my best to give the best upbringing and rest ALLAH will DO !

    ALLAH do evrything ... and surly HE WILL help u as well .. TRUST just TRUST

    • What are you shy to ask about? Your fiance first laughed at the idea, and now he says he will not reject any blessing?...
      By the way, thanks for the reply 🙂

  10. Oh God, I can't believe it. Why does the permissiblity of contraception have to be discussed on this

    website? This is ridiculous. Nobody, dear Always Worried, can force you to give birth to kids.

    This is your life, your freedom and no man can force you. If your husband is ok with it and it is

    stipulated in your Islamic pre-nup, where does the problem lie? I don't see any problem.

    Of course children are a blessing, and if anybody would think that way, our ummah wouldn't

    grow. Sex in Islam is very important, it nurtures the soul and the body and the prophet said

    himself: Nikka is my Sunnah. With Nikkah, you purify the soul and the body. In the first place, we

    get married because we want to build a halal relationship with a soulmate. Sex in Islam is for

    pure enjoyment at first place. Many Arabs have plenty of girlfriends because of their high

    testosterone and coz their families fail to marry them off at a young age due to cultural obstacles.

    Then they get married at 25, had plenty of relationships and have to build a fam, as if this is the purpose

    of marriage in Islam. First and foremost, marriage saves you from doing haram things, and then you

    can still think of building a fam at a later time.

    So the priority in Islam, in my opinion, are the husband and wife.

    Jazakallah

    • FINALLY!! I am not saying ALL Muslims should think this way, or that this is the truth and I am giving a Fatwa. I am not, it is how I personally feel. Thank you for understanding, and thank you for being supportive!!

  11. Dear Always worried,

    i was exactly the same as you. I even went through a phase where i was scared of the jannah because i thought that its a place where everything that we get worried will happen now is going to happen there. But al-hamdullelah ...after talking to my husband about it and researching...i decided to let it go. Like you, me and my husband love each other very much and he told me he only wants to be with me. So i think if you love your husband and treat him good..he will not wish for anyone but you. And i know that jannah is a place where your wishes come true. So if you dont want to share your husband and he doesnt want to be shared....then why cant that wish be gaurnteed? I try not to think about it and focus on how happy and loving we are now instead of being jealous. So inshallah work on getting to the jannah together and INSHALLAH women like me and you that love our husbands with all our hearts and feel that it wouldnt be "fair" to have to share him in the end after everything we've done..dont have to go through what your worrying about. May allah be with you. I hope i helped.=)

  12. Wow! We seem to be the first 3 happily married people on this site!!! Everbody else wants to get rid of

    their husbands, whereas we don't even wanna lose them in Jannah!!!!

    May Allah bless you and your marriages.

    • Assalamu Alaikum sister Jannah,
      Is there a way for me to contact you through email? I have a few questions which seem a bit too personal to post on here, and I just wanted your ideas on it. I tend to think the same way as you do, so it would be nice to hear your perspective without being attacked. Jazak Allah khair.

  13. Asalamualaikum sisters,

    The topic of the hoor was also upsetting to me as alhamdulillah the bond between my husband and I does not feel like soulmates but that of best friends. We love each other alot and love most of all to spend time with each other more than anyone else.

    This subject upset me as well, my husband told me I would be enough for him and that if paradise is where you get what you want then we will be together and only us, that is what we both want. That is inshAllah what I will pray for. I have also noticed how sex seems so prevalent in a lot of literature enticing men to paradise. I hope we will all get what we want most in Paradise IA. It makes it easier to believe you are working towards a goal that you would be happy with.
    Also, divorce exists in Paradise, according to a lecture I heard. So it confused me a little considering everyone always says there wont be any bad feelings there, Allahuallam.

    My sallams to you sisters

  14. ^
    I meant not only soulmates but best friends as well 😮

  15. Asslamu aleykum sister when i read your question i felt it was me who wrote it as you feeling exact same as me and in exact same situation ,one thing nice to know from this is that im not crazy and other women feel worried about this also.

    Alhamdullilah Allah guided me too islam and i have a very caring wonderful husband i have no reason to be jealous and feel abd that i do get jealous as he just resures me and never gets mad or think bad of me,but i was reading the Quran and see about the hurs and i couldnt stop crying i felt like i didnt wanna try to go JANNAH N id rather go to hell AStagFillah then share my husband with another women or even worse watch him have sex with hundreds of virgins,my husband told me that in Jannah u get anything u want and the thought of him with another women makes him feel sick and he just prays for me and our kids inshAllah too meet in Jannah

    its so hard as we dont wanna be ungratful to Allah but its not like u wanna strive to go somewhere if u haaving to watcch ur husband have orgy with aload of virgins

    so only thing i can think is Allah is kind and Jannah is our reward for being good inshAllah if we make it there im sure Allah reward us what we want and if not atleast we wont feel jealous ,and we gotta try be strong and thankful atleast we got good husbands in this life where its hard to get what u want and its rare to find good men that aint already having sex with other women doing these things when we can feel pain and jelousy and hurt Alhamdulillah to find a good husband in this life is rare lets enjoy them ladys and rlax our minds or atleast try lol

  16. I know Leila. Sorry I couldn't figure out how to login onmy ipad. I posted this question. I know what u mean but it is our right to have our good husbands in this world, and also in the next inshallah. All I know is that you won't see him having sex with others so don't worry about that but it still bugs me that he might have other women. Some guy asked a scholar if he could stay woth his wife and reject the hoors and the scholar said no you are rejecting Allah's blessings and once you see hoors you will change your mind. Lol, not much of a scholar to me because all I know is you will have what you want in jannah, so if hubby does not want them, he won't have them iA. Allahu Alam.

    • Mash'Allah sis for ur reply my husband advise me that judgment day is coming and many fake scholors and imans about and so many ppl twist the quran he told me Allah is kind and this we know is true so if we been good muslims and make it to jannah insh'Allahg why would he make us do what we dont wish for and our intention good to wanna go heaven and still remain with one person for eternity its a beautiful thing why would he refuse us if we done good .he said also alot of men think with there dick lol in this life so if Allah tells them thye get all the women they want in hereafter it help them behAVE and not sleep around in this life,also good women are jealous so maybe Allah testing us too if we accept anything allah wills for our love for him and jealousy our biggest weakness so a bif=g test

      • Salam,
        I understand. However, men also have this jealousy as well, except they like to label it "ghirah"! Lol. Inshallah we make it to Jannah, and I am sure that since jannah is made for the believers, Allah will allow them to have whatever they desire, so if a man wants his wife only, that is what he will have. I think of it as the four wives issue. It is permissible, but not obligatory upon a Muslim man to marry four women. Just like that, hoor al ayn are a reward, as they say. Nobody said men have to accept it lol

  17. salaam Alaykum.
    i thank Allaah that you have a good husband who seems to to please you.

    wallaahi, the truth is that when a man sees the huur al 'ayn, how he will be able to reject them is the question.
    the chance of any man rejecting them after he sees them is just negligilbe to be honest.

    ofcourse without a shadow of a doubt the women of this world will be more beautifull,better, but it seems like no man will reject any woman in jannah, whether the huur al ayn, or the daughters of aadam.

    i hear that some muslimahs even ask their husbands to put their hands on the Qur'aan and swear to reject the huur, and like idiots, they do it.

    please sisters, dont make your husbands say that which will not be able to do, or that which will be a sin upon him.

    "Oh prophet[saww], why do you forbid yourself that which Allaah has made LAWFULL for you in order to please your wives, and Allaah is most......"

    the sabab of nuzool of this very aayah was revealed because of a jealousy story.JUST LIKE THESE MUSLIM MEN PROMISE FORBID THEMSELVES what is halaal, the prophet[saww] also forbade himself what is halaal.
    wallaahi, TO ANY MAN WHO SAYS TO HIS WIFE THINGS LIKE "i promise to stay away from the huur al 'ayn", IN THIS AAYAH WHICH IS BASED UPON AN IDENTICLE STORY, IS A REPREHENSION, DISCOURAGEMENT, negation of such an act.

    in the qur'aan&sunnah is a similtude for every possible case which can arise in our lives.

    was there any woman who is more jealous,loving than the mothers of believers, especially Ummunaa 'Aaishah [may Allaah be pleased with her], and even so, Allaah tells them to controll their feelings.

    • Wa alaikum as salaam,
      Thanks for the post, however you have something wrong. Not all the sisters have "forced" their husbands to swear they will stay away from hur al ayn. You are saying it is haram to make someyhing that is halal, haram. Islam permits men to marry four wives, so if they THE MEN themselves do not have the desire to do so, despite having the wealth, then is that the wife's fault? It seems you are lumping all men into one category, saying that they are all the same. I am sorry to say you are wrong. Also, perhaps you have edited and reposted but I have received an email in which you have also said:
      "i hear that some muslimahs even ask their husbands to put their hands on the Qur'aan and swear to reject the huur, and like idiots, they do it.apart from the fact that him swearing on the qur'aan for such a petty things on the order of his wife shows that some "men" nowadays are slaves to their wives instead of being their leaders, shows that a man who says he will reject the huur al 'ayn, is outright lying!

      im sorry if insults any man who swears to his wife he will not want the huur al 'ayn."

      I am sorry, but if a man is kind to his wife, or may even truly love her, it does not mean that he is a slave to her. I am not saying that women do not tell their husbands to do this, I do not know to be honest because I don't speak to every Muslim woman in the world. You are right that one should not put his or her hand on the Quran ever. Nevertheless, I do not think you have the right to say they are "outright lying" since you are judging all men. Allah says, "It was We Who created man, and We know what suggestions his soul makes to him: for We are nearer to him than (his) jugular vein" (50:16). Therefore, Allah knows each of his slaves better than you and I think we know ourselves, let alone others. Allahu Alam.

  18. Assalam O Alaikum wrwb,

    Masha Allah this entry has received ample amount of views/opinions from brothers and sisters. However, this post is closed for further comments. All the brothers and sisters are requested to kindly help other brothers and sisters with their knowledge who are going through different problems in their lives. May Allah (swt) reward us all for our efforts and give us strength and knowledge to keep helping the Ummah. (Amin)
    Jazakumullah for your efforts.

    Wasalam,
    Muhammad1982.

    Editor, IslamicAnswers.com