Islamic marriage advice and family advice

can a muslim man marry a christian woman?

Do Muslim - Christian marriages work?

Do Muslim - Christian marriages work?

can a muslim man marry a christian woman without her converting to islam?

- pathfinder


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41 Responses »

  1. yes you can

    • But she dont want to change her religion and how can i merry her i mean can i do nikkah with her even iff she is christian? will i be married in my religion...

      • she dose not need to become Muslim if she does not do shirk that is associating partners with Allah . & if she does not drink alcohol , does not eat the flesh of swine/pig/pork , dress modestly as much as possible. i mean the dress should not be transparent , tight - fitting , short , the cloth of the dress she will wear is not too much glamorous that attracts the opposite sex , except you obviously inside the house , good in character , & does believe in the last day that is the day of judgment . associating partners with god means in any way , form , or shape or any individual. . only then you can marry her. under the conditions mentioned above if it is fulfilled then Qur-an gives permission to marry a christian or a Jewish woman. otherwise no chance at all.

  2. A fellow named Harry submitted a comment that read:

    "But a Muslim woman cannot marry a Christian man!
    Such Hypocrisy!!!"

    I have deleted his comment because he posted many other insulting and vulgar comments and I have banned him from the site. but I'll respond here in any case:

    It's not hypocrisy at all. Islam is a real, practical religion, created by Allah to suit human nature. Islam deals with human nature as it is, not as we pretend it is. Even today, most societies in the world are patriarchal. The man makes decisions for the family; the man is the breadwinner; the woman tends to hearth and home, while the man makes larger decisions for the family. I am not saying this is the way it has to be, but this is the way it is in most of the world. If you don't think so, then maybe you have not traveled outside your bubble. Go to Latin America, China, India, Africa... most societies are male dominated. Islam recognizes this reality and legislates for it in a way that allows for human nature, but at the same time strives to ensure women's rights, and encourage reform.

    To take one example of this, in pre-Islamic days a man could marry as many women as he liked. This still happens in some societies, for example in some African societies, or among some Mormon sects. A man might marry dozens of women, leaving the other young men without mates. Islam restricted this practice, essentially saying, "Okay, you can marry up to four, but you have to treat them equally, and to marry only one is best." So Islam recognized human nature, but implemented some reform to curb abuses.

    The real hypocrisy occurs in societies that outlaw polygamy but wink and nod at the accepted practice of taking a mistress.

    Back to the issue at hand, if a Muslim woman were to marry a Christian man, she would most likely be pressured not to practice her religion, and the children would most likely be raised as non-Muslims.

    I'll tell you about what I have seen myself, in my own lifetime. Muslim women who marry non-Muslim men tend to neglect their religion or abandon it altogether. I have never heard of a Muslim woman marrying a Christian man, and the man subsequently converting to Islam. Maybe it happens but I've never seen it. On the other hand, Muslim men who marry Christian women tend to share their religion with the wife, and in most cases she converts to Islam at some point. That's very common.

    That's reality. That's what I've witnessed. So you see, Islam understand human nature and legislates for it.

    In the USA, where I was born and raised, we like to say that men and women are equal, but the Equal Rights Amendment was defeated, women still tend to get less pay for the same job, and the fastest growing industry for young women is online porn. We say that men and women are the same, but we acknowledge the physical differences when we have different sporting leagues for men and women, not to mention different restrooms. Why do we do this? Because it's simply a reality that men and women are physically different. The folly is that we acknowledge the outer differences, but we deny the inner differences because it's not politically correct to admit them. That's true hypocrisy.

    In terms of intelligence and spirituality, men and women are equal, and none is superior to any other except by taqwa (Allah-consciousness). Our spirits are the same, and a woman can be as pious (or more so) than a man; she can also become an Islamic scholar, teacher or leader. If offered the same education, a woman can perform any intellectual task equally or better than a man.

    But the truth is that men and women are different in many ways: physically, emotionally, and mentally. I am not saying that men are superior in these respects - not at all! Simply different. And modern science bears this out. For example, men can put out more short-term physical power, but women tend to have more "toughness" or endurance capability. That's physical. On an emotional level, men tend to look for ways to defeat a problem, while women tend to look for ways to communicate or compromise. There are many other examples. Men and women have different hormonal systems, and even our brains are structured slightly differently.

    Allah knows this, as He created us. So He has legislated for us in ways that make sense according to how we really are.

    • I'm dumbfounded that a literate person would really believe that because it is culturally excepted that it is morally right. I so blessed to be a born again believer. My understanding of Islam is limited, my husband is from Sierra Leone and he is Muslim. From what I've read women are beneath men. I personally could not worship God under those conditions there are some really nice things about Islam but I have not seen the love or equality for women.

      • Diongoma, you are not correct, in fact women in Islam are seen as worshipers of God and people of respect. It is Christianity that attributes original sin to "Eve's sin", while Islam has no such doctrine. In Christianity women have traditionally been seen as sources of corruption. In Islam we believe that all human beings are born pure, and that all people are spiritual creatures born to worship God.

        I don't know what the conditions of women are in your country. Many cultures have their own traditions and norms that are not up to Islamic standards. Islam was the first religion that guaranteed the rights of women and made them full members of society. I could go on but this is not the place for it. I only wanted to correct your misconception. Perhaps you can do your own research. Here are a few good places to start:

        http://www.zawaj.com/articles.html#women

        http://www.islamfortoday.com/women.htm

      • Diongoma, you said: 'My understanding of Islam is limited...'.

        If this is so, please read up on Islam using the correct sources before believing the media's and the 'people's' interpretations of Islam.

        I know this is not the place to go into detail, but just to give you some food for thought:

        Allah has made secure through the Quran and Sunnah, rights for women is areas of:

        1. Education
        2. Inheritance
        3. Choice of marriage partner
        4. Respect of Mother
        5. Duties of husband towards Wife and her rights
        6. Working/Taking employment
        7. Financial security from father, brother, husband. What she earns is hers to keep
        8. Her body is her's - to be respected and hence covered

        These are some areas you may want to read up on inshAllah. May Allah guide you to the truth.

        SisterZ

      • i AGREE dIONGAMA BECAUSE i ABSOLUTELY ADORE THIS GUY i MET AND I HAVE THE SAME RESERVATION ABOUT NOT CONVERTING TO ISLAM AND REMAINING A CHRISTIAN. i LOVE ISLAM FOR HIM THOUGH

  3. Brother Wael...that was an excellent response maashaAllah...

    Harry: Just a little note on the issue of women and equality in Islam:

    I am a Muslim woman and completely agree with Wael's comment.

    Men and Women clearly have different qualities, strengths, weaknesses, but this does not mean that we are judged differently by Allah because of it. Allah is fair and judges us according to our deeds and intentions.

    Men have certain characteristics that make them behave like 'men', and likewise for 'women'. Its the same for animals, which we openly admit, so why can't we admit its the same for humans without taking it as an insult to either gender. If we can admit that male/female animals have differences in their emotional/mental behaviours, why can we not admit the same for humans? And not only admit to it, but to then actually allow ourselves to submit to nature and Allah's law...it makes sense...

    Anyhow, I came across this article titled: 'Behavior: Male & Female: Differences Between Them'.

    Its a long winded way of explaining this, but I do feel its poignant. I think that if we can allow ourselves to start understanding and accepting the innate differences in men and women, then Allah's law about allowing Muslim men to marry Christian women but not the other way around, will make complete sense.

    Here goes:

    'Behavior: Male & Female: Differences Between Them'.

    "Will there some day be a "unisex" society with no differences between men and women, except anatomical ones? It seems unlikely. Anatomy, parturition and gender, observes Psychologist Joseph Adelson, cannot be wished away "in a spasm of the distended will, as though the will, in pursuit of total human possibility, can amplify itself to overcome the given." Or, as Psychoanalyst Therese Benedek sees it, "biology precedes personality."

    "Nature has been the oppressor," observes Michael Lewis. Women's role as caretaker "was the evolutionary result of their biological role in birth and feeding." The baby bottle has freed women from some of the tasks of that role, but, says University of Michigan Psychologist Judith Bardwick, "the major responsibility for child rearing is the woman's, even in the Soviet Union, the Israeli kibbutz, Scandinavia and mainland China."

    Furthermore, though mothering skills are mostly learned, it is a fact that if animals are raised in isolation and then put in a room with the young of the species, it is the females who go to the infants and take care of them.

    "Perhaps the known biological differences can be totally overcome, and society can approach a state in which a person's sex is of no consequence for any significant activity except child-bearing," admits Jerome Kagan. "But we must ask if such a society will be satisfying to its members." As he sees it, "complementarity" is what makes relationships stable and pleasurable.

    Psychoanalyst Martin Symonds agrees. "The basic reason why unisex must fail is that in the sexual act itself, the man has to be assertive, if tenderly, and the woman has to be receptive. What gives trouble is when men see assertiveness as aggression and women see receptiveness as submission." Unisex, he sums up, would be "a disaster," because children need roles to identify with and rebel against. "You can't identify with a blur. A unisex world would be a frictionless environment in which nobody would be able to grow up."

    Read more: http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,942519-5,00.html#ixzz0awAdsLRl

    • These words are spoken by a woman who has not idea of her wealth in God. Why subject yourself to rules of a man to worship a all powerful all knowing God? Ye there are differences between male and female I do not dispute but the thing about relationship with God is God is a spirit and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth.

  4. how we can stop muslim men (23 years) geting marriage to christain women (50 + years).
    and tell me the matters to hits the christain women.

  5. Muslim men have made it very hard for me to respect them. As a Pakistani Muslim women, I have to work for a high-paying career and mantain good looks to secure a decent marriage, a marriage where the man has half the credentials or willingness to work as I do. The men that offer my hand are little mommy's boys who really do not work hard. I'm stressed out by the work for both staying fit and education, as well as being a good daughter, sister and keeping traditional values.
    This year at school I met an Arabic man who would try to IMPRESS me. He did not care about my grades (although he liked it when I did good) and was very frustrated when he failed at showing off his educational greatness. Unfortunately, he thought I was Christian Persian and he turned out to be Christian Palestinian, not Muslim Palestininian. Because we are both extremely academic and good looking, we were noticed. The Muslim Pakistani men who were not agressive for me before suddenly started to pay attention to this and question him about it (he's friends with a lot of Pakistanis/Indians and I am with Arabs/Persians/Whites).
    I hate to say this but you men have not followed the requirements that Islam set out for men to provide. We women are suffering, Indian women between the ages of 18-31 have the highest rates of suicide, peaking at 30. White Christian men want to take care of me and they are quite catchy in their hardwork and looks. I deserve that much for the work and sacrifices I make. I don't think Islamic men can judge inter-faith marriages because so many have disgraced us. Furthermore, sometimes I believe they take advantage of the fact that they can marry non-Muslims...and marry for the "white power" reason. They don't deserve me. Guys who treat me like a princess deserve my time and love.

    • Sara, I find your values to be superficial. Your vanity and your emphasis on good looks are unattractive. What about matters of morality, spirituality, and following Allah's law? What about sincerity, piousness, prayer and compassion?

      And by the way, Indian and Pakistani Muslim men are some of the hardest working people I know. In my community, they are the engineers, business people and especially doctors. In fact our masjids are largely supported by the doctors among them.

    • I completely agree with you sister. Some, but not all are an utter disgrace. I am a Muslim revert and the Muslim man I was going to marry only wanted me if I provided for him financially. That is not my job!! The Christian man I am now going to marry has taken on the Islamic responsibilities that he was incapable of. Islam is a wonderful religion but some men who marry Christian women do it to get out of their responsibilities and the Christian women do not seem to realize this. This is not in all cases by the way but a lot of them. They do not know Islam so the men have a great time walking away from responsibilities. By the way they are not supposed to marry adolators so why do they marry Catholic women who have statues of Mary everywhere in their churches?

      • Salaams,

        I know this is an old thread, but just to respond to your comment I would like to say that most Christians already believe that the man should support the household. There may be differing views on if or when a women should contribute to this, but I've never met a Christian who believes in the woman supporting the man financially. So the fact that the Christian man you're 'marrying' is willing to do so isn't really that earthshattering. Needless to say, there are men from all walks of life who have a problem with their nafs and would take a back seat and let the wife be a sugar mama. That's not something peculiar only to Muslim men.

        I have to say, out of sisterly concern, that your decision to marry a Christian man is not wise. I'm sure you're aware that Allah doesn't count such marriages as valid, so basically you would be living a lifetime of zina. When you reverted to Islam, I believe you did it with sincerity and because you wanted to follow truth over error. Don't let your bad experiences rob you of that goal and lead you into a lifetime of being under Allah's condemnation. It's simply not worth it.

        -Amy
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  6. My values are superficial and I can admit to that. However, I'd like some of the Muslim men to admit to it too. It's still required for women to have light skin, and be tall. If men can have these standards in selecting a mate, why cannot a women? Before looks were the only important things, but now I have to work harder than most men too.
    Yes, I' superficial and I can admit to it. Can most of the Muslim men admit to this?

    Piety, compassion. Where is that in most of the men? Bless the few good ones out there but I'm sorry, Islam is NOT a religion for men but because all jurists are men, where and how are we represented. How our issues heard? How about how caged we feel from culture, from the misuse of religion and texts? I realize that in Jannah the women will get reward for their patience but explain to me this: why can't you tell Muslim men to have that same faith in reward for the afterlife? Why is that message always sent to women? Are we some sacrificial lamb? No. In fact, if anything, it is your duty in Islam to make sure that we don't have to sacrifice ourselves so much.

    I'm simply speaking a voice that will soon get louder as women become more educated, more liberated, and treated better by men who haven't stated the Shahada but have acted on the kindness and piety Prophet Muhammad talked about, especially in his notable last speech.

    I do have compassion but for those who have compassion for me. And I do have piety and sincerity, but for those who do not judge me through those same means.

    Following's Allah's Law is grand and the greatest way, had it not been for the men who tweaked it to get the most out of their world. Don't you think educated women will eventually find ways to find ways for their rights? We will and we already have...it's a matter of time if most Muslim men don't fix their behavior. I respect and admire the few who those... may Allah make them role-models for all. And may I learn from the great Muslimahs...but I am far too bitter about this issue.

    • Sara, as-salamu alaykum. You are absolutely right, many Muslim men are superficial as well and it's a problem. Imam Zaid Shakir just wrote a hard-hitting piece on this very issue here:

      http://muslimmatters.org/2010/04/01/the-ethics-of-chivalry-imam-zaid-shakir/

      You said that all jurists are men and that women are not represented. Actually there are many good female scholars in the Muslim world and in the West as well. But in general it's true that women are not properly represented or given their full Islamic rights in Muslim society. Fortunately there are people who are working to change that, both men and women, but it will be a long road. I don't think that fleeing from Muslims is the answer. You can be a part of the solution, or part of the problem.

      You don't seem to know what you want. In your original comment you complained that the Muslim men had weak personalities, were not attractive, and didn't make enough money. You implied that you want a non-Muslim man because they are attractive and white, and work hard. Now you say that the non-Muslim men are kind and pious, and frankly I think you are confused. Having grown up as a Muslim in the USA, having Muslim and non-Muslim men as friends, I think the Muslim man are much more aware of God, kind hearted, and better husbands in general. I look at the non-Muslim men I know and I see one who is unemployed and drinks a lot, one who has babies with three different mothers (and also drinks), another who is a good guy but again is unemployed, one who is nice and sincere but still a college student, another who is a very conservative Republican and somewhat racist, and only one who is a good and hard-working family man. I think they are a representative sample.

      I think you are more concerned with the outer than the inner, and you will discover one day that the outer fades and withers, while the inner grows stronger and shines.

      You said that you are bitter and I see that. But if you allow your bitterness to drive you away from your deen and away from Allah's commandments, then you've suffered the greatest possible loss.

      • I want to apologize for my rudeness.

        I was at one time very content with Muslims and Islam, but there really needs to be a chance in our society now. We women deserve better treatment. Islam is such a beautiful religion. It is like a rose. However, if the rose grows in an area without light and water, it fades away into a weed.

        There is no real need for Muslim men to marry outside of the religion now as was in the Prophet's time. The times were different then. Reasons for doing so now are either 1) love, which I would support or 2) power, which is disgusting...and yes, my flaw too.
        Furthermore, I am of the opinion, as are a few scholars, even ones that aired on television, that while polytheists are forbidden to men and women, there is no mention of the People of the Book for women, and one Ayah that mentions it for men. Silence does not mean no. God doesn't speak to me personally but I know He is there. I don't want to take that path...please understand...but I want it to be an equal match at every level. That's fair. Even if I am considering the outside and am super shallow, I do consider the inner. I look for both, and that is hard to find but I do find it.

        • PS I've read that article. It is beautiful...

          • SISTER SARA SALAM , women needs to be treated well . it;s very true . but you said u have to remain good looking , fit , & be tall for men . well that is the problem of those type of who want;s this kind of things always in women. which absolutely not possible. no remains young , beautiful , & attractive forever. & everyone is not good looking. you have to admit that . & you said the man who gives you respect ,honor , & love deserves your your time & love. but that does not mean any man . i mean that man can be a non- Muslim. & if you really believe in Islam & claim to be Muslim then you will agree. because marrying a non-Muslim man is nothing but fornication in Islam. & the children of such marriage are bloody illegitimate' s according Islam. same as for the Muslim man . as the quran says " do not marry an unbelieving woman until she believes & do not marry an unbelieving man until he believes . that means not only that non- Muslim have to believe in Islam & all the things in Islam but also must acts upon it.. these thing must be make sure before the marriage takes place.. & by the way there is nothing like lbw that is love before wedding in Islam . but law that love after wedding is allowed in Islam. love does only means physical or one sided love but also respect , honor , & caring sharing for each other. hope i have cleared myself to you. salam again. may Allah guide you .

        • 1. I agree with you that women need better treatment. The Ummah needs reform in this regard. However, there are individual Muslim men who are very chivalrous, modern in their outlook, and kind-hearted.

          2. I agree that there is no need for Muslim men to marry outside the religion. I always advise against it.

          3. No need to apologize. We are having a discussion, and if we have different viewpoints that's okay, that's what makes it a discussion.

          4. You cannot justify marrying a non-Muslim man. It's clearly haram. Allah Almighty says in Quran,

          "...And do not marry (your girls) to idolaters until they believe...." (Surah 2: Verse 221)

          And Allah said concerning the immigrant Muslim women (the women of the muhajireen),

          "...Then if you know them to be Believers, do not send them back to the unbelievers. They are not halal for them (as wives), nor are they halal for them (as husbands)." (Surah 60: Verse 10)

          No Quranic verse or hadith exists which makes exceptions for the People of the Book. Therefore, on the basis of the above verses, there is a consensus among Muslim scholars concerning this prohibition. Thus, while a Muslim man is permitted to marry a Christian or Jewish woman, a Muslim woman is not allowed to marry a Christian or Jewish man.

          There are many good reasons for this, and that's a subject for another article. In any case, as I said, I think it's a bad idea for men as well.

        • Asalaamualaikum Sara,

          We are all equal in Allah's eyes. But we need to remember and appreciate that He(swt) made man and woman with different skills, abilities and qualities. Those differences in both men and women compliment each other and in a way fit together like a jigsaw puzzle.

          As a woman, I would be very jealous if I was in a polygamous marriage (which is quite normal). But at the same time, I can now understand the logic and sense in a man being allowed to marry up to four times and not the woman. (And this is all supposing if he is a proper Muslim and treats them equally etc).

          I also now understand why a Muslim man is allowed to marry a woman of the Book but a Muslimah can only marry a Muslim man. On the outset it appears to be unequal/unfair but its much deeper than that. Every ruling has reasoning behind it and so this one does too.

          I didn't understand the above two issues and many other issues in Islam, such as the Prophet's relationships with concubines, his(saw) marriage with Aisha(ra) at such a young age, his(saw) having 11/12 wives etc. It put very uncomfortable thoughts in my mind about the religion and I felt guilty, but I had to keep reminding myself that Islam is perfect and it is myself who has the lack of understanding. So I read up on some of these issues and it began to make complete sense.

          So its good that you are questioning. Try to read as much as you can Sara - its the only way to find answers to your questions. But also remember, there are some questions we will not be able to find logical answers to.

          As long as we believe that the Quran is the word of Allah and the Sunnah is authentic, then even if we don't understand, we need to just do some things out of discipline and obedience to Allah and His Messenger(saw), and trust that there is Wisdom in it because Allah(swt) knows better than we do.

          May Allah guide us all and keep us on the straight path.
          Salaams

          • Salaams,
            I wrote the last part to see what judgements would be passed. You guys are kind people...
            Don't worry, as of now, marriage is not on my mind and I rather not receive Muslim shunning from most of my community. However, having said that, Wael the ayahs you showed are for Unbelievers, not the People of the Book. Please find ones that say People of the Book, I may have missed it. I actually know many couples in which the woman was Muslim but not the man or he said the Shahada simply to make the marriage valid but is an athiest, or Christian still. What do I personally think? Unbelievers=Polytheists. In fact many sheikhs in America and Europe have begun to think this way and perform inter-religion marriages.This is a topic in a different thread...

            Back to this thread, Muslim men do what you want...but if you abuse your rights and make women suffer, eventually Allah SWT and the ever changing times will hear our voices.

          • "Sisterz", thank you but I know your reason and it's one I have read often. It doesn't suffice for me...maybe it will in the future, but not now. It may be my anger, bitterness, lack of insight or all three. It may not be.

  7. Sara, you've obviously been through some difficult times at the hands of some 'Muslim men'.

    Try to remember that not everyone is the same. Just as there are some good Muslim men/women, there are some not so good muslim men/women and the same for every other religion and culture.

    Also, be careful not to confuse the 'not so good muslim man' with 'real Islam'. And try not to let your misunderstandings/lack of understanding of Islam 'taint' the beautfiul religion.

    You seem to be an intelligent woman. Give yourself some time, but don't wither away in bitterness. It will bring you nothing but heartache. Letting bitterness and anger take over, changes our personality and not in a pleasant way (I speak from experience). You'll be hurting not the person who hurt you, only yourself.

    Sweetness of eemaan is what you need : ).

    These bad experiences can bring good too - if you learn from them.

    • I haven't personally suffered from the hands of Muslim men. My father was abusive to my mother and married her because she was a doctor and after coming to America didn't even try to make it as an engineer. He use to say that he didn't understand how I was pretty because my mom wasn't. Who wants to hear such cruel words about their mother? No one was supportive of my mother's divorce, especially not Muslims, until my mother lived in a grand house and lived a grand lifestyle. I was a nobody until my appearance worked out, had graceful manners and a "charming" diplomatic persona, and got into all the schools I desired.
      Indian and Pakistani men wish to marry me but for the same reason as my dad.
      I usually get treated by respect in the way I like by white men and that one Christian Arab I met. It gets annoying saying No to them when I rather be treated the way they treat me.
      I am bitter but please do not mistaken me, my logic and compassion are still present for matters that are important. And that's why I'm looking all of this up online. Thank you for your input. I love the various views.

      • Dear Sara, all I'll say is that 'your father's abusive behaviour and the wider Muslim community who didnt support you and your mother when you were vulnerable' is not from Islam. It is from cultural baggage only.

        Anyone who is sincerely and truly practicing Islam, whichever culture he is from will appeal to you through his charming, chivalrous, genuine, non judgemental and pleasant character too. Unfortunately, our cultural ridden families often stops us from seeking out those type of people. I have met nice and also not so nice Muslim men, from a mix of cultural backgrounds.

        This life is a test and you are being tested now. Try to be patient Sis.

        X

        • I love you for the sake of Islam. Thank you for your sincerity. I can sense it. inshAllah to you the best.

          • sister sara don't judge Islam by what Muslim people do or the Muslim society does. but rather judge Islam by it's authentic sources. qur-an is the basic source & the sun nah & the Islamic literature is the detail's .. by the way if i am not wrong you said you & that Palestinian non- Muslim man that you met who want to please you is good looking . well complementing once own self is a big foolishness . it becomes a complement when it comes from others . obviously the person's who are righteous & logical & rational. you said that guy you met is trying to impress you .. well that is your foolishness again. actually he wants to destroy the existence of you as a Muslim . ask that guy will he give you dowry that is maher ( security money ) before the marriage take place. because it is compulsory for an Islamic marriage to solemnize . the amount of maher or security money can be of any amount . there is no upper or lower limit of this money . this is a right of the would be Muslim wife from the Muslim would be husband. the amount of money or asset can be anything . it can also be a mountain of gold besides the financial support from the husband to run everything of the family. & the way all man are not corrupted or bad same as all woman are not corrupted or bad in character . you have to choose the right one not the perfect one.. because no one in this cursed world is perfect . every community or religion has it's own black ships . but the non-Muslim societies have much more than us . according to statistics the religion which is followed not only by lip service but in practice is Islam .

  8. The question that pertains is how many of these allegeged revert women remain muslim once their relationships are over? i actually only know a few that revert for the deen, the others convert because they have fallen in love....and once the relationship has come to an end go back to their old ways How many white reverts remain single compared to our born and raised muslim women from non-white backgrounds? If the sake of reverting is for the deen, we should see more men reverting to islam, however this is not the case.

    I find it highly offensive that anyone suggests that muslim women bring up and raise the next generation as non-muslim if they marry a non-muslim man, where is the evidence? i think you will find that the etiqquetts of these reverted women are no different that prior to their converstion? Do alot of them practice their faith? and moreover do these men who marry reverts actually practice their faith to begin with?

    just because the word reverted does not mean anyting.

    for me the difficulty is that a revert is preferred over a born muslim. as you point out a muslim woman can only marry a muslim man, who then does she marry if all the muslim men go for a christian? because men can get the pick of the bunch, women are left to suffer the consequences. the days when people did marry more than one wife, however you will find that this is not a practice anymore in some western countries.

    so what do people consider the solution for many born and raised muslim women if there are no males for her to marry, given most want a tall and white bide

    • There will be a breaking point and this dilemma will pass... it's just that the generations before will suffer greatly, and that has already started to happen. But I've always been the freedom, justice type. And the women in my family, the ring-leaders that were shunned.

  9. I am wondering the same as shakila, i am so confused and worried at the moment, as i am in love with a non believer, and he with me, and we want to get married. But i am so scared, i dont want to do anything haram, he respects me for my religion and i can practice it as i want, and i respect him for his beliefs, isnt that what islam is also about, respecting each other for each others beliefs and living with each other in peace no matter the race nor the beliefs?
    Why can the men marry non-muslims, and not the woman, i have seen a case in my family where the man is married to a non-muslim and she never converted.
    Where is the justice in that?
    Why can't i do it,
    Is it really wrong marryign a man that i love so much. Why do i have to suffer?
    And not the men if they are in love, they marry who ever they want.
    But we cant do that.
    Please answer

  10. one thing more,ALLAH SWT forbids both male and female muslims not to marry mushriks (who donot believe on oneness of ALLAH ) so Aisha my sister who told you that males are allowed females are not. Whenever women ask these sort of questions I personally feels that they are challenging the ALMIGHTY's principle and really make me sorrow (pardon my saying)

  11. another reason is that you love and believe on every prophet including Jesus (as a messenger of ALLAH ) but the dis believers not believve on last prophet (Mohammad Mustafa SAW), and for being muslim it is most necessarily needed that one should love Hazrat Mohammad Mustafa SAW more than any thing, here disbelievers can not be able to fulfill this need .

  12. I believe all is ONE and the religion should not change that. We should all love one another because of that oneness and respect that we choose a path through a religion that best helps us achieve that oneness or fulfill our soul's purpose. The main thing I look for is are all people feeling the religion or path they chose, that is are they genuinely living it out or are they just going through the motions or just claiming a religion because of tradition or family. I was attracted to a Muslim brother because of the kindness, respect and love that he showed me, and it had nothing to do with him being Muslim. I thought, "Wow, if being Muslim brings out these attributes and makes him intensely attractive to me, then I would gladly support him on that path!" I am a believer, some say Christian, even though I hate the titles for the reasons i mentioned earlier but I have great respect for Islam and don't judge and separate them like some so-called Christians do! I think for man, Islam provides a lot more structure and power for men to really thrive in their relationship with God. This particular man that I really like has recently been incarcerated and he became muslim then. I personally feel that Muslim men sometimes show more virtues than Christian men and that I am not easily attracted to Christian men for that very reason. I love the God in this man, and I would gladly risk the persecution and judgement of other Chrisitans, perhaps even those in my church, to have a godly union with this man. He would be well worth the fire. Peace everyone. God bless you.

    • sister kay do you really believe in god ? god in a sense means the one true god ? not the son of god in Christianity confusing . we Muslims believe in Jesus Christ ( pbuh ) .. but don't consider him as god or the son of god . because according to Islam it is the greatest type of blaspheme one can attribute to god i.e. Allah the almighty .. & further more if you think logically it does not make any sense . " son of god " please give me a break. if you logically analyze if Jesus ( pbuh ) is the son of god then the god must be a bigger god than the son . Jesus Christ was the mightiest messenger of god according to Islam . we believe he was the messiah . he gave life to the dead with gods permission .. healed those born blind & leopard with gods permission. we Muslims love him , revere him , follow his authentic teachings but do not worship him same as we do with our beloved prophet Muhammad ( pbuh ) . & Islam does not believe that human beings are born in sin like the Christians believe . Islam does not blame eve that is i.e. bibi hawa ( a : ) was responsible for adam eating the forbidden food in paradise.. everyone is responsible for his or her own deeds . because the holy qur -an clearly mentions that " no one will the bearer of the burden of another . this life is the test for the hereafter . according to the deeds of everyone on the day of judgment Allah the almighty will cast some into the hell - fire & will reward some the everlasting paradise . & by the way hell is no joke !!! & heaven or paradise is not that cheap to get. Islam is a very easy religion to follow & understand if you want . for that you have to study the religion i.e. the authentic sources of Islam . the quran & the authentic sayings of prophet Muhammad { pbuh ) . & if you study the autobiography of the prophet Muhammad ( pbhu ) then you will realize . . best wishes to you & Allah the almighty guide you to the straight path i.e. Islam ( AMEEN ) !!!!!! VERY IMPORTANT NOTICE IS THAT QURAN IS THE BASIC & THE AUTHENTIC SAYINGS ARE THE DETAILS . I.E. THE SUN-NAH ..

  13. is it Really what u said ?.Thanks for the information

  14. Hi, sorry for digging out an old topic here. But I do need to know if it's really true what was commented earlier that if you're a Christian woman, you can marry a Muslim man without having to convert if you abide by the practice of being proper and all? I'm not too sure if this is valid but I do know that it's possible. Just not sure what the details are.

    Thanks, appreciate the clarification here.

  15. Yes a Muslim can marry a believer of a a book

  16. On the topic of muslim man marrying Christian ,I myself converted to Islam at 15 years old married at 19.there is one thing here no one mentioned ,when the man marries the non believer the children have a hard time knowing what religion they are.this can cause serious problems in the marriages as I have seen with my own eyes especially for the girls.alot of thought needed before committing to these marriages. May Allah guide all of u

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