Can Allah MAKE someone think about something?
Will he remember me and come back?
Salam everyone. I have a very similar problem with what is going on. Except in my situation, the guy is no stranger to me, he is in fact my cousin. The biggest problem is that we are currently half way across the world from one another. Him and his family came here to attend my brother's wedding and we met then. I have known him all my life but never really "met" him and been with him in person.
I know what kind of person he is and I know that he is very religious and a wonderful human being. Well after attending the wedding they left for New York and I called them everyday and talked with everyone for a good hour almost all the time. And the day they were flying back I called them (like everyday) and I talked to him. I told him that I am not the type to have many relationships and just "have fun" like others in this generation would.
I dont want to just forget everything like it never happened and move on. The thing is that he is ready to move on and forget everything, but its not because he doesnt love me or have any feelings toward me.
He has told me that he feels just the way I do, but he doesnt want to have this relationship. When I asked him why he didnt know why. He just felt wrong and guilty for what we both feel because no one in our family has the slightest idea of what we both think of each other. The thing is that I think he fears what our family might say. But I am certain that if WE tell them and not let them find out the WRONG way then they will be fine with it.
Its not like this would be the first in-family marriage. Well anyways, if I tell the entire story I might as well write a novel but in short the last time I talked to him was the day they were flying back home. I told him EXACTLY how I feel and this is what I said "look I have told you how I feel. I really do love you and listen I can wait for you. Just please dont forget about all this without giving me a reason first. Promise me that you will tell me what you want." and he basically said he will think about it and then message me.
Ironically, on valentines day it will be exactly one month scince I have had any contact with him. I have messaged him but where he is right now he isnt allowed to be on any kind of online website such as like facebook or yahoo. He lives in a dorm, and they dont allow cell phones either. I dont know whether he is actually thinking about what I have asked him to think about and the thing is that he lives with his friends and in an environment where no one knows me so how would he think about me? Its not like someone would bring me up. Also its not like he will be this far from me forever, they are coming back in about 11 months.
The thing is that if we both are at long distance then I think we would get to know each other even better and wouldn't have to worry about doing anything Islam doesn't allow before marriage. And then tell our family members and see what the outcome is.
So far i have been praying 4x a day everyday and hoping everything goes fine. I have asked Allah Swt to make him remember what he promised me he would do and to remind him of me. I have also asked for somehow, Allah Swt to create a way for me to talk to him as soon as possible for I think that the more time goes by without any contact with him the harder it will be to discuss this with him.
I just want to know if Allah can do this? Can he make someone remember or think about something that might not cross their mind in the enviornment they are in? I can remember everything because I am in the same house that everyone was in and I can look at all the places and remember what happened there and who was standing there. I can also look at his pictures and remember him but he is back in the life he came from and he cant even see me in a picture.
I really want to marry him, and I dont want to become that kind of woman who has any relationship and just does it for fun. I fell for him with my mind ready for what I might have to face and I fell for him knowing that he IS the right guy. All I need to know is can Allah Swt make this happen if he wills it to happen? I know one month is nothing compared to like 2 yrs or 10 month like ppl above have written but can Allah make him think what I want him to think? Can He show him how much I really love him and can He make a way for him to say yes to me?
I appreciate all replies. And all helpful suggestions ANYONE can offer me. I know that this is a little far feched being at a long distance an all but I just want to know if there is a way for this to ever work?
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Dear Sister,
I don't want to cause you to feel heartbroken, but I honestly think it would be in your best interest to forget about your cousin and move on. You seem to be a sweet, innocent and naiive young girl who has fallen in love with a boy who came to stay with your family for a month. It was a fun time, weddings always are, so it was a little like a holiday romance.
There are a two things about your cousin that make me doubt his sincerity:
1) It would be quite simple for him to ask for your hand in marriage through the family, but he doesnt want to and has no reason for it;
2) He has not contacted you at all and tells you he is not allowed to have a cell phone in his dorm. This is simply rubbish. He lives in the US, I cannot see how his dorm does not allow cell phones. And just suppose he is saying the truth and cannot keep his cell phone in his dorm, I am sure he has access to one when he is not in the dorm, i.e. at weekends etc.
My little Sister - I think this is a case of US boy going overseas, has a good time with his female cousin at a fun wedding, theres music playing, everyone is mingling, partying, naturally sparks fly - but he doesnt want to marry you, he wants to get on with his bachelor's life in the US. He feels a little guilty because he knows you have fallen for him and is trying to let you down easily. Allah knows best, but this is how it seems to me.
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Apart from this, the answer to your actual question, 'Can Allah MAKE someone think about something?' Allah can do anything, but we must be sensible. Why waste your time on wishing and praying for a boy to think of you, when he does not want to marry you and has clearly made excuses to break away from you?
Dear Sis, forget him. This may be a good time for you to start learning about the life of the Prophet(saw) if you have not already done so. Focus on your deen, this will help you start looking out for the right qualities in a husband.
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Excellent analysis of the situation Sisterz, mashAllah.
-Helping Sister
Assalaamu alaikum dear sister.
I also agree that it is best for you to move on. I understand you have strong feelings for him, but they will fade InshaAllah. I agree with everything sister Z has written, so I will not reiterate but please realise that sometimes strong feelings of 'love often cloud our judgement - which is why it can be dangerous.
I wanted to add that of course Allah swt can do anything He pleases. He knows everything and He can do anything and everything. But He doesn't always do what we want - He does whats best for us. My dear sister, we do not always know what is best for us.
How many people have found the 'perfect' guy they want to marry - 'the one" and had the marriage end in divorce or realised that he wasnt so perfect after all. And how many have ended up with someone or a situation they thought was bad, but it turned out it was good for them. In a nutshell - Allah swt knows whats best for us. So pray to Allah, not for this guy but worship Him because He deserves to be worshipped and not to get this guy. Ask Allah to give you whatever He knows is best for you and to make you pleased with it and watch Allah swt work in your life.
I pray that Allah swt gives you happiness in the life and the next!
Ameen
Sara
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
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Sara,
Thanks for adding that reminder about making dua!
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
x
similar story. you think you love him. your herts filled with love. but remember. to CHOOSE ALLAH first. yes allah cna put love in his heart and mind for you if thats what i best for oyu. but someone else might be out there that you will love more and be guided to and htink what the hell ws i thinking. all you can do is times salah and make dua and love allah more don't get ivnloved in harfmul haram relatinoships. if he doesn't love you we all suffer from unrequited love just be strong smile and be happy knowing oyu have allahs love and put ur trust in allah no matter what the outcome and how painful it is know youre not alone
Yes, Allah can make him think about you. Allah can do anything.
It is possible this boy may wish to marry you. It is possible he may not. My point is, you have no idea. You are young still; I wouldn't analyze it too much. Why not let things be for now, and wait until he returns in 11 months as you say he will? Until then, live your life -- he is certainly living his, an ocean away from you.
Focus on your education, your friends and family, and when the time comes to re-visit this potential connection, you can deal with it then. Leave it in the hands of Allah, and stop obsessing about it. There is no harm in praying for it to happen, but, don't obsess over it - leave it to Allah. When we are young we often think our biggest crush is our true soulmate; but he rarely is. That being said, if it is meant to happen it will. If it is not, you will get your answer soon enough. And who knows, in the meantime, there may be someone else who enters your life!