Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Can he choose his ex-wife instead of me in Jannah?

Two women fencing

Slm,

I have been married for almost 3 years. We have 1 year old twin sons together Mashallah.

My husband was married for 10 years before to someone else long before he met me. If we get granted Jannah (Inshallah Ameen) will he have the choice of choosing his ex-wife as his wife in Jannah over me?

I'm just curious as she asked him for a divorce and though I've never seen him pine for her, they also have 2 children together and I know u can't not love the mother of your children.

Shukran in advance.

- nohur

 


 


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3 Responses »

  1. Asalaamualaykum Nohur,

    Sister, you are asking questions about matters that are really not important. It would be better for you to focus on doing deeds that will actually get you to Jannah to start with. Whatever happens in the Hereafter is unseen and Allah alone knows exactly what will happen. All you need to know is that if and insha'Allah when you get to Jannah, you will have no worry or complaint. You will be totally satisfied and content there.

    Don't shake your marriage in this life with curiosities of the unseen. Your husband chose you over his ex in this life, right. And on your own admisson, he does not pine over the ex, so why are you 'creating' a worry and problem in your mind? Enjoy your marriage and live in the here and now. May Allah grant you with a fruitful union together in this life and the next, aameen.

    Allah(swt) says:
    "In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
    By Al-'Asr (the time). Verily! Man is in loss, Except those who believe and do righteous good deeds, and recommend one another to the truth and recommend one another to patience."

    SisterZ
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  2. Salaams,

    In addition to what SisterZ said, I would just like to share the following hadith:

    Al-Qurtubi said: Abu Bakr ibn al-Najjaad said: Ja'far ibn Muhammad ibn Shaakir told us, ‘Ubayd ibn Ishaaq al-‘Attaar told us, Sinaan ibn Haaroon told us, from Humayd from Anas that: Umm Habeebah the wife of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "O Messenger of Allaah, if a woman had two husbands in this life, then they all died and came together in Paradise, with which of them would she be – the first or the last?" He said: "With the one whose attitude and conduct with her was best, O Umm Habeebah; a good attitude brings one the best of this world and the Hereafter."[Al-Tadhkirah fi Ahwaal al-Mawtaa wa'l-Aakhirah, 2/278]

    Even though this hadith was in the context of women for a husband, the same could also be true for a man. In addition to that, a man can still have more than one wife (and hooris) in the hereafter. So, if Allah wills, your husband could be married to both of you if all of you make it there.

    I just want to say, don't presume he still loves her just because they had children together. There are couples whose for one another love grows cold after having children, whether they stay married or not. If he seems to have the most love for you at this time, take that for what it's worth and make the most of it while you have it, since there are no guarantees in the future.

    -Amy
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  3. Salam o alaikum,

    to sister Amy - sometimes too much advice and dwelling into matters we don't and cannot understand can cause quite a havoc in the mind of the seeker.

    I would stop at sister Z's advice and not dwell further into digging out hadeeth and other references that prolong the discussion - the unseen or 'gaib' is exactly what it is and what it will remain i.e. the gaib which means 'hidden' .

    To the sister asking the question - please refrain from dwelling on these thoughts further. Sister z has summed it up very well. Have faith (keyword: faith) that whatever Allah swt has in store for you is better than your highest expectations read the first few verses of Surah Baqarah (2nd Chapter) inshaAllah you will find peace on the issue.

    regards,

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