Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Can I divorce my husband if he won’t support me financially?

financial problems, money issue, wasting money

If my husband won't financially support us, even though he has plenty of money, can I divorce him? We haven't talked with each other for 5 months now. The impression I'm getting he doesn't want to be with me so he pushing every nerve in my veins so that I make the first move.

My love for him is nothing. There is nothing there, I can't stand his presence, we tried sorting the financial side buts he's not keeping up his end of the bargain, and if this keeps up I'll be in all debt as he doesn't care.

Help plz


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11 Responses »

  1. Y did u marry in the first place for alimony ?

  2. yes it is his responsibility as husband to support you financially in monogamous or pologamous marriage has he taken a second wife or something?
    if he means nothing to you divorce him and get another husband
    or seek counselling

  3. Sister, Asalaamualaykum,

    Yes it is your husband's responsibility to support you financially, but we cannot give you an answer to your question regarding divorce - especially with such little information. Surely there are other issues apart from money that have lead to the breakdown of your relationship. What are they? Why are you not happy with each other? Why does your husband not want to support you financially despite having plenty? Why do you make reference to the word 'bargain'? Was there ever any love in your marriage?

    'WHY' is an important question. Starting working backwards and you'll find the root of this problem. Talk to your husband and seek marriage counselling with him.

    If you provide more information, we may be able to offer you better advice. Although I would suggest you try to convince your husband to go to marriage counselling with you so that his side of the story can be heard too.

    SisterZ Editor

  4. It was an arrange marriage and he was from Pak,
    No he's not taking a second wife,
    Since day one we've had problem wen we got married and the issues have never been resolved, we even had had my parents and his brother try and see the problems. they all said it was mostly down to my husbands errors and it never worked even his brother said he was wrong, we have two kids which he has no responsibility for. We never solve our problems he never admits it is his fault even if it's in blk and white. The other day he just walked out the house with his back pack, he said bye to his kids and he came bck three days letter. not saying anything to me where he went or wht, I'm just emotionally tired playing his games. Every person I've told this situation about they say he not providing for u, not taking responsibility for the kids, no communication, No love, feels like I have a lodger living in the house. Deep dwn im so un happy in this relationship I'm scared to divorce him the sake of the kids. I so confused dnt know wht to do.

    • three days' he goes off to his other wifes house you should just leave him!

      • I dnt know wht to do I think I'm Going to do istkhitra and speak to a counsellor and take things from there

        • Alhamdulillah Sister,

          It seems that you are taking all the appropriate steps in seeking guidance and not jumping to any rash decisions. For all of this, surely your reward lies with Allah (swt).

          Take into consideration that marriage counseling is not a one way street, as you'll need for your husband to show up, too. This will be the crux of the matter, as if he does not attempt this last ditch effort, you may need to venture on this avenue alone from here on out.

          I pray that with this hardship will come certain and swift ease.

          • Just like to thank you everyone for ur concern and the advice but with much thought and loads of thinking I've actually separated from my husband, between me and my hubby but he went back to Pak leaving me to pay all the bills and he's not sure when he will be bck as he said his mum comes first. anywaz alot happened, alot of talking, a alot if 3rd parties getting involved to solve the problem, but hubby just lied about everything, and it's all my hubby fault as everyone agreed on. his mother has done black magic on her own son tht he separates from me and remarries someone bck Hme in Pak which his mum has choose for him and Apparently both parties are ok with this. Anywaz im sad for the sake of my children tht they want grow up in a house hold with both parents but I just make dua tht Allah helps us threw this hard times inshallah Allah knows best and know who's right and wrong and As along I believe I tried everything to wrk at this relationship I'm happy I have my children to think about now may Allah give me guidece to keep me on the straight path and my children inshallah

  5. no my dear sister please dont divorce him

    never make a decesion when you are sad or angry ..... Allah hates divorce.. please dont divorce your husband. it really shows that you still love your husband so y to leave her??? proplemz can occur in every relation ship buh Allah has given us brains to choose what is wrong and right.. so please nvr nvr divorce him.. once you leave him even if u wish to get him back it might be impossible.........please pray to Allah from your heart and speak to him buh dont ger divorced 🙁

  6. Hi,
    When a man doesn't support his wife, both emotionally and financially, he doesn't LOVE HER. A LOVELESS MARRIAGE is hard on the children and such a horrible role model. Life is short, and not every story has a happy ending.

    I have a sister who was in an arranged marriage, who after 17 years left her husband. The manchild left her and the kids homeless, while he paid for a home in cash. The kids wish their mother had done it earlier. They live with Grandma is a much better situation. Both going to college, away from their Ph.D. unemployed bum father. He made a sexual comment at me in front of his family (including my sister). No woman deserves this trash for a man.

    Start a new life. It might be a financial burden, but with love in your new life, everybody will be better off. .It's about stability in the home.
    Most of you wpmen are clear thinkers. LOVE THEYSELF & KIDS FIRST!

  7. I am in the similiar situation, I came from a different country met this man who is presently my husband , we have been together for 19 years, and married for 18 years, we have 1 child together 13 years of age, when I met him I thought I had found Mr Right, 3 months into our marriage he he committed Adultry, my life felt apart, anyway I got over it and moved on with my life, we lived in a rented home for 10 years of our marriage, everything were going ok, then Mr builded a home, but did you know what my Mr so called Right told me, that the house is his money builded it, up to this day I am so uncomfortable in the home, I don't even feel as if the house is mine,
    because this man who I took to be my husband have broken my spirit.
    when we got married my contribution was supposed to buy groceries etc for the home, I did not even realized that I were being used by this man, only the other day I lost my job, and then I realized that I were the 1 minding myself and daughter, the man do not give me any money, although I am out of a job I still have to take my savings to buy the food, and other things for the home, and then on top of that I found out he was having another affair, I had felt so devastated, and useless , then he have this ---------for a mother, he have to tend to her needs, and his brother, and sisters, I found out he was helping his sister pay her house rent, then his brother wasn't working and he was helping him financially, I am sobbing as I write this mail, I feel as if I am the live in maid / roommate , I don't even feel like the woman of the home, and then on top of that he want to bring his mother to live with us, a trifling witch who told me the other day if her son is not doing it for me I can leave, oh another thing he have all his accounts in her name, so if he should --- I have nothing to collect, he don't take my daughter or me anyway, he don't wear his wedding ring, I know after reading this everyone would say why I don't leave, it is because I still loved him,

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