Can I keep my baby without my parents’ consent?
Salaam. I am a 17 year old pakistani muslim girl. I committed zinaa, and had a baby as a result of this. I placed this child in the hands of social services as i was not allowed to keep it as my parents would not allow it, and the babys father's family would also not allow it, and not allow us to get married.
Now, the baby is 5 months, he hardly recognises me when i go to see him, and it hurts me inside, as i have been through so much for this child. I really want to keep this baby as soon as possible as it is my duty as a parent to lookafter him after making such a big mistake, i cannot forget him and move on with my life feeling guilty, and i cannot trust the social services.
I love him soo much and crave to be with him every second of my life. My Dad wants me to give him up, but i am dying to keep him as he is my son and he is all i want and look forward to, Mashallah i have recently started 5 times salah and doing istikhara, i feel peace in my heart and feel as though i should keep this baby and my future is set with him.
Am i allowed islamically to leave my family and keep this child? As he is a part of me now and needs me.
- muslimwomen16
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Walaikumsalaam 'MuslimWoman16',
What a sorry situation. All I know is that if it becomes proven that someone has committed zina, there is punishment under Shariah Law.
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I hope you have made sincere tawbah sister. I am glad that you have started praying Salaah, if this ordeal has brought you closer to Allah, then Alhumdulillah. It is unfair that your innocent son should have to suffer because of a sin committed by his parents?
However, I can imagine your parents are probably worried about 'you' and your future, they must be thinking that if they can hide that you have a child, they will be able to marry you off easily. They must be worried about the dishonour. Its not easy for anyone. The major sin you and this man committed has affected so many people. If you were to look after your child, how would you support yourself and him without family support? At your age, you have probably barely finished school?
Perhaps you need to talk to your father and tell him how you feel. Admit your mistakes and reassure him that you want to live as a good Muslim. That you need to take responsibility for your son as he should not suffer and miss out on the love of his own mother, he is innocent. That you want your father to help you and support you in your decision. That you understand that this will be difficult for them all, but you can think of no other way to do this. InshaAllah when you are ready emotionally, you will find a good Muslim man who will marry you and accept you with your child. There are good people in this world as well.
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The above is just my personal opinion and I ask Allah to forgive me if I have said anything wrong.
I do not know what the Islamic stance on this is, so I am hoping that someone with more knowledge replies insh'Allah.
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
You say you "cannot trust the social services." In this case, your son should not have to suffer because you sinned. That is illogical. Two wrongs do not make a right. If you feel that having your son would improve your life, he is entitled to your love. This is just my opinion and I know that God is perfect, so He will forgive me if I have spoken out of line. All the best to you and your son.
Dear Sister, As-salamu alaykum,
Islamically your parents have no right to separate you from your baby without your consent. The bond between parent and child is sacred.
If your parents order you to give the child away, they are wrong. There is no obedience to parents in disobedience to Allah, and Allah has made the family tie unbreakable.
Take your child back. Try to convince your father. If he will not listen, then try to find some other suitable living arrangement that will allow you to keep your child, even if it means receiving public assistance.
Now that you are doing your salat, stay on the path, Insha''Allah. Raise your boy as a good Muslim boy. That means you must educate yourself as well. Read the Quran, take some Islamic classes, learn your religion.
I wish you the best.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor