Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Can I marry again, whilst going through my divorce?

And if you be apprehensive that you will not be able to do justice to the orphans, you may marry two or three or four women whom you choose. But if you apprehend that you might not be able to do justice to them, then marry only one wife, or marry those who have fallen in your possession. (Maududi, The Meaning of the Qur’an, vol. 1, p. 305)

And if you be apprehensive that you will not be able to do justice to the orphans, you may marry two or three or four women whom you choose. But if you apprehend that you might not be able to do justice to them, then marry only one wife, or marry those who have fallen in your possession. (Maududi, The Meaning of the Qur’an, vol. 1, p. 305)

I am a UK citizen and recently reverted to Islam. I have been trying to divorce my non-Muslim wife (whom I have been in an unhappy relationship with for many years and left six months ago), but she is doing everything possible to delay this. In my office there is a Muslim woman that I would like to marry, but I have not asked her father for her hand yet, because of my marital state.

I understand that a Muslim man is allowed up to four wives. Obviously it is not possible in the UK to be legally married to more than one woman. But I believe that it would be possible to go through the Islamic ceremony (Nikah) and perform the civil marriage at a later date. My hope is that this would mean that we were married in Allah's eyes and could start our life together. I realise that this would leave the woman financially at risk - so I would give a (very) substantial Mahr/dowry, to compensate for this risk.

Before I discuss this with the Imam at my local Mosque, I wanted to get an expert opinion, if possible. I also want to be confident that the proposal/marriage is 100% acceptable to the woman's family and does not upset them.

-Istfan.H

 


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4 Responses »

  1. Assalamoalaikum Warahmatullah Wabarakatahu

    Brother it seems your question has nothing to do with polygamy so the four wives thing is not relevant here.

    It seems to me that because divorce is a lengthy process in the UK, you want to get married as soon as possible.

    Brother you can have a Nikah ceremony in the mosque which would mean Islamically you would be married and can live together like a normal couple.

    Just register this marriage with the authorities in your country as soon as you are officially divorced from your first wife and you can turn your second marriage into your official one.

    Talk about your ideas to the woman you wish to propose to so she is not kept in the dark. Some women are 'uncomfortable' with the idea of being the 'second' wife even if the first wife is about to leave and you should respect that feeling and give her time to think it through or delay the Nikah if she wishes.

    Waalaikumussalam

  2. Assalama'laykum brother, I have a few peices of concrete advice for you inshallah:

    -If you are absolutely sure you wish to divorce your wife, you can approach the imam of your mosque or any elder leader in the muslim community that you trust and could explain your situation about your interest in this other woman. Don't just approach anyone but someone you trust , maybe even a more knowledeable and trustworthy practicing friend.

    -Im hoping such a friend can help to find out if the woman's family would be interested in marriage for her at this time and if they would consider someone like you. this way if they say no, there is no direct problems as you are not directly involved. Alternatively, you can find out about the woman's family and if they seem like mature people, you could approach the father/wali of the woman and explain your situation and interest.

    -If they agree, you could move forward from there. Personally I think its better to have the nikkah after you are in the clear legally just to avoid any potential issues.

  3. I didn't read everything. But y would U do this when you kno the process of divorce in Islam, Now ur wife may have meant nothing much to you or watever it is but if U do this thing, getting married before the whole process, it shows how much U never respected ur wife :talking from experience, coz my father didthe same thing to my mum n it left a big scar on her heart, till now she still remembers it. Ave patience brother no need 4 rushing, U men are so un aware of the things that women go through in this kind of processes, swallow ur pride n think about her feelings 2 #justsaying

  4. Salaams,

    Brother, you are talking about legally divorcing your first wife, but you did not mention if you gave her an Islamic divorce or not. As far as I understand, it would still be your responsibility to give her talaq even if she is not Muslim, although I'm sure she wouldn't observe iddah since she doesn't subscribe to the belief. The legal divorce is really a separate issue.

    If you have given her a talaq, I personally think you are free to move on with your life. Even if you haven't, you can still marry anyone of your choice any time. As far as how your intended's family feels about it, that's something you can only find out by seriously discussing the matter with them.

    -Amy
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

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