Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Can I marry an older, non-Muslim divorcee?

Romantic novels

Assalam walekum,

Hello Everyone! I am 23 year Muslim boy and since 7 months I am in love relation with a 33 year old non Muslim divorced girl, she has also a 4 year cute daughter.

We love each other so much but we are so much confused that what will happen if we get married. What are the situations we will face and what will happen in future? Please suggest some of your points so that we clear our doubts.


Tagged as: , , , , , , , , , , ,

10 Responses »

  1. Brother,

    It's not the age gap that's a concern, but can you provide for her financially and yourself?

    Is she the ideal wife for you? Will she raise your children to be good Muslims? Your children will be spending all the time with her, you will have minimal influence on the day to day interactions.

    Think about your akhira my brother, you want a muslim wife who will encourage you to pray, fast, learn your deen? To teach your children how to read the quraan, and remember Allah.

    You may love her now, maybe she has amazing character and she is kind, but keep islam in your home...that is the most important thing I can tell you.

    If you marry a non muslim, it's very easy to slip and forget to pray, or skip fasting and before you know it, owe your deen my brother.

    My only advice is keep islam in your home, don't lose your grip on it. She may be a beautiful person inside and out, but she is not muslim.

    • Asalam Alaykum, just as u have been advised here "keep Islam in your home". My fear about this type of marriage is that She is a non Muslim and she is older, do u think she wld listen to u by the time u r married? You know it's very easy to get emotional when we meet pple and almost immediately we can start to think they are the best of all etc. What if u get married and she gets power drunk and is not even ready to see u practice Islam talkless of giving her daawah. Another point is that, have you really asked what led to her divorce? Was she truthful to you when she answered/explained to you( If she has)?. Am saying all these because the moment you get into it, it's always hard for u to say your are done and you wanna move on because things turned out negative to what you thought and you were so emotional in the beginning of the whole thing. The last point my brother, pls try and learn more about our beautiful deen, try to meet reliable scholars or Imams and also buy Islamic books (written by known scholars with good reputation) about marriage and the Sunnah of selecting a woman + limits to be observed in between the man and woman until the Nikah is done. From what I see here, it seems somethings are not right, Pls try and observe the proper Islamic etiquette and avoid anything haram because the moment we think we know better and do things our own way, we tend to fail on a longrun which may be disastrous. May ALLAH set right our affairs,Aamin

      **U can also do istikhara about it so that Allâh can guide to to choosing a good woman In Sha Allah*

    • Samira i'm on your side. You have really good advice. He should definitely read this comment and think about it.

    • AslaamuAllaykoum
      i am having divorced by wife i am a male 28years old when i was 23 years i had a love with a girl she was at that time 33years old and now after 5 years we had divorced now please do not get it personal and not it would be every where or every time but i would be happened please find for me someone widow/ Divorced woman i want to re start my life.

      Danish *****

      • Sorry brother, we do not allow our site to be used for matrimonial proposals, and we do not allow posting private contact information.

        Wael Editor

  2. If you had sex with her and told her you will marry her, you should marry her.

  3. Salam brother

    Contrary to what everyone else is advancing you I would say if you really love her try to teach her about Islam, take the time to talk about everything if she would let you raise your children as Muslims if she will drink or eat pork.

    I married a Muslim man almost 4 years now I'm also older than him by 10 years and I was a Christian at the time we got married but he is so caring and loving before we married he asked if I would read about Islam and asked questions such as the ones I'm suggesting Alhamdulillah a year and a half after being married I reverted and our relationship is great! He has patience to teach me more and more each day and he is a great step dad to my two children.

    I know not many women revert and sometimes there are great dificilties when it comes to religion and she might tell you she will be ok with with your children being Muslim but sometimes they change their mind. So really is a risk it could go 50/50

    Try giving her information about Islam I'm sure if she really reads them she will embrace Islam

    May Allah guide you to the right path

  4. Dear Brother,

    I think since you are young your hormones are raging and you feel this so called "Love" with this woman. In Islam marriage is more than marrying someone just for the sake of Love. Marriage is to help each other be a better Muslim and practice Islam better and prepare for the hereafter.

    If you are taking a big decision such as marriage then you have think about all the pros and cons of the relationship in the long term. You have to go in the marriage believing you will be married to her till either of you die maybe that would be after 80 years or whenever it happens.

    If this non muslim girl is not a christian / jew then you are not allowed to marry her.

    If she is from the people of the book then you can marry her but your Iman has to be strong so that you have hope that you can guide her to Islam. If your Iman is not strong then there is a risk of you going towards her religion. And going towards any religion other than Islam is a sure way to destroy your akhira.

    Think about life in the Hereafter and don't get distracted by the temporary pleasures of this world.

    Pray Istikhara and seek guidance from Allah regarding the marriage.

    May Allah grant you a spouse which will be good for you in this world and the hereafter.

  5. Please study about Istikhara and make a decision only after doing Istikhara.

  6. Ist of all point is this, Muslim man can marriage with only Ahle Kitaab non muslim, i mean with Jew or Christian. Marriage is not allowed with other non Muslim races
    I advise other reader please do not suggest anything which you dont know in detail and clarity

Leave a Response