Can I marry my widowed sister in law?
I am a married man with two sons. We had a tragedy in our family when my co-brother died in an accident 3 years ago leaving my sister in law alone with two little kids.
Because they've lived with me for the last three years, they called me father. I want to support this family. What is the best way to support to them? I also love them very much because they are growing with my kids.
Can I marry my widow sister -in-law to support them or is there any other way to support them?
Everybody in the family wants these kids to stay with me
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salaam alkium brother i dont know wat isalam sayz about that but let me ask u somthing hav u thought about ur wif feeling n wat will she think of u all theses dayz n sk ur slf thiz qustion as well wll ur wif remarry if u hav died ?i dont think so just coz they r ur brotherz kidz doesnt mean u 4get about otherz who care more about u correct me if i'm wrrong i wouldnt marry if my hubii died noo matter how diffeclut my lyf iz (may allah 4bedn
Assalam Alaykum Asli,
Though i agree with your first statement, regarding kaleem's Wife, he should take her feelings into consideration before committing to anything, however i dont agree with your last statement on not marrying again when one's spouse has died, With due respect, it would be a difficult and tragic time for the husband or wife (who's spouse has died) buh your life does not end there, nor does islam want you to end it, therefore you should find a suitable partner, Especially if it's a women, as a women living her life alone is not exactly appropriate.
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Kaleem, from an Islamic legal sense there is no prohibition against marrying your brother's widow. It is allowed.
Whether or not it's a good idea for you, that's another story. I suggest that you discuss it with your wife and see what she says. If you get the sense that it will damage or ruin your current marriage, then you should avoid it.
If you do not marry her then she should not continue to live with you. She is not your mahrem. It's not appropriate for her to live in the same house with you and your wife, because it will create obvious opportunities for temptation and sin.
If your concern is her material support, you could try to find a good man to marry her and care for her. It doesn't have to be you.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Salaams,
Wael, I agree with you on every aspect of what you said.
However, it seems to me that if this person did take your advice and assisted this lady with finding another place to live outside of his home because his wife was not supportive of him marrying her, he could still financially/material support the lady's children from a distance as their biological uncle.
Correct me if I am wrong, but if a lady is left a widow and has children, it is the responsibility of any male relations who remain to financially support them until she remarries or finds other support. InshaAllah she has relatives on her side that can assist with this as well, but that may also be lacking or else she would not have needed to move in with this brother to begin with.
You're right, there's nothing wrong with him offering financial support to his brother's widow and his own nephews/nieces.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Wael ,
He is saying Co-Brother and not brother .
What i understand is co-bro is husband of wife's sister ..so now two sisters can't be under nikah at the same time so this won't be allowed ..
I personally don’t like the idea of wanting you to marry your sister in law. Because at the end of the day you are crossing a path I strongly believe you shouldn’t and to me don’t seem right regardless what Islam says even if she is a widow. She’s your sister in law and will remain as your sister in law. How can you even think of her that way when you are married with a wife and kids. I think it’s nice that the kids adore you so they should respect you as you’re their uncle but the thought of you marring this woman seems to me so wrong I am very strong against this sorry. I know for a fact if it was me I wouldn’t and couldn’t accept my husband marrying another regardless of the situation as I believe ones enough and allah knows best. Sorry if I was being harsh but that’s my honest opinion.
Samina,
Your arguments are purely based on emotion.
Allah truly does know best , thats why he permitted men to marry more than one with conditions.
My opinions are not based on emotions they are based what I think and no I didn’t think about the condition so I apologise if I caused any offence.
Salam Alecum....I want someone to answer me to this question.I know in Islam is allowed to marry with 4 women if u treat them right...same gifts,same nights spend with them ,etc..but , what about heart? is only one! how u share in 4 side?? is impossible !!! can feel love only for one! in rest,compassion, attraction ,etc...plz,let be honest,only one heart ,means only one feeling of love ,in rest are other type of feelings...and no one maybe will admit this but no women like to share her man with other,sorry but is true.
Salaams,
One should try to have taqwah (fear) of Allah when expressing their feelings about a matter; to say that something that Allah allows "doesn't seem right no matter what Islam says" is a grave statement.
Certainly we are all on different levels of accepting various aspects of the faith into our own practice, however we must use caution when speaking against Allah or His injunctions.
Good points, Amy. The deen is not about our desires or opinions, but about what Allah has given us.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
a agree that dont let ur emotions and moderm thoughts overcome what u r religiously permitted to do.it shouldnt be a problem marrying her as i am ware that cousins do have priority etc.u need to look into this matter thruogh the quran and sunnah more and inshallah it willl help u make the correct decision
Don't marry her after all she is ur sister in law. You search a good man for ur brother's widow. U can provide financial support to your nice and nephew. For that u need not marry ur sister in law.
is correct! I wondering what opinion have his wife...poor women...i dude she is agree ....
Selam I think most people wrote comments with an emotion of jealousy. Allah knows best and I think it is a lovely idea that you marry your sister in law.She and her children will be protected and safe.And after the dad there is no man that treats the kids better than their own uncle! May Allah guide you.
Its the endless answer .but from Islam its not allowed
Salamu Alaykum brother your niece calling you dad is not the right way of addressing you, though you treat them well they should practice calling you uncle and not their father, for the son/daughter of a father cannot be called the son/daughter of another vice versa, apologies if I'm tackling a bit different from your question. May Allah guide you.
Its the case also with me .my sister in law married 2 times but fails . She is in her parents home now.I feel upset when I look .I always loves her and will.I know I can't marry her and I don't want to leave my wife .I decide to take the action and I given her the online job .I'm organising a online business .she is happy with it .I like when she smile .and I always want to see her smiley .I really love her and will.I care her chillderns as I can with my best .I have seen here in many post that man's loves their sister in law .its not bad if we help her not only to get her but for happiness of Allah and her smile .