Can I marry this other woman to save myself from committing adultery?
Assalam O Alaikum,
I am a married man and 4 years back I had married and have a son of 03 years. I love my wife and child but I also have interest in other women. I don't want to do adultery so the answer for that situation I found that I will marry to another women. Can I do second marriage or not? If I don't do the second marriage then there are lot of chances of adultery. What can I do?
Jawwad.
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If you are the sort who always like other women then the chance of committing adultery is high no matter how many women you marry. Maybe you are in shaitan's trap so brother focus on your wife and family and seek Allah's guidance. Polygamy is not as easy. You may invite problems.
Well said !
Hello brothers and sisters!
I agree with what the brother has just said...if you are the type of person who always have interest in women, then you can never be happy with two or three women. Now, if you really love your wife and child, it's better to forget the new girl and just concentrate in loving your wife. Do you love this girl that you want to marry her? Or you just want to have a physical relationship with her and marrying her is better than having a haram relationship?
You sounded like my friend's BF who is married with a son in his birth country. He said he love my friend so much and would like to marry her to correct the sin he made. The problem is how can he marry her if he is already married back home? She also have the same questions as you...is there any way that they can get married and live happily?
My friend love this guy so much and looked after him very well as he does to her.
May Allah touch your heart and clear your mind.
I agree u think if you'd try 10 women's you will still feel this way I think you should re think about this for the sake of your son and wife part to Allah this feeling goes away.
Spell check ( marry)
Brother Jawwad, Walaykumsalaam,
Have you asked yourself why you are being drawn towards other women? Is it because you are freely mixing with them at work or through socialising? Are you attracted to your wife? Are you giving your marriage the time that it deserves? Are you actually trying? Are you satisfied by your wife and she by you? I do believe these are some of the questions you need to be finding answers to before rushing to get married again.
If you are putting yourself in situations which are leading you to mix with women, hence feeling attraction and the desire to commit adultery, I suggest you remove yourself from such situations and spend some quality time with your wife.
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Salam Brother,
Well this is really bad to say such thing and mention your interest on another woman for adultery while you have your own wife for legal sexual intercourse.
The interest you have is lust and you need to pray and ask for forgiveness. You need to seek that interest for your wife as your intention for the second marriage is just to omit your sexual desire.
You honestly need to respect other women and see them with no lust as you have your own wife and you must know that you have committed adultery with your eyes with such intention already.
May allah guide you towards the right path.
Sayed Baheer Peerzada
Salaams,
As far as I've heard, attraction to other women is not something that magically disappears with marriage and even polygamy. It's a part of a man's jihad, that only may lessen in time but never fully disappear. The issue is not really whether you find other women attractive, but what you do with that. Of course there are always going to be temptations to sin, but just the same there are always going to be alternatives that lend toward obedience and reward.
Prophet Muhammad SAWS suggested that any time a man find himself enticed by another woman, he should go home and release his desires upon his wife appropriately. I know for a fact that if married men followed this advice as they should, there would be a lot more smiling and secure married women! Unfortunately, too many men buy into the "grass is greener" deception and toy with the idea of crossing haraam boundaries to adultery, engaging in masturbation w/sexual fantasies that include the women he's seen (while yet being married), and even considering polygamy to satisfy his lusts (forgetting, of course, the whole kit and kaboodle of other things that come with another wife).
Look at it this way: your son is going to one day face the same challenge you have now. He is going to learn how to handle it from you and your choices. The best way to raise your son to be the best man he can be is to lead by example. You don't want him to take the easy and nafsani way out, so you shouldn't either. Bite the bullet and invest in your wife only, accepting the fact that there will always be prettier or perhaps more attractive women out there (it doesn't mean YOU have to have them!). In doing so you will learn to appreciate her for more than her physical features, and your son will learn that women should also be valued this way and have much more going for him when he gets to a marriageable age. It's a win-win situation for your entire family.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Well said sister!
A quote that came to my head after reading your post.
"The grass is not greener on the other side, you just have to water your own"
"The grass is not greener on the other side, you just have to water your own"
Excellent quote!
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
I think you need to discuss this with your wife before you even proceed with any decision to marry.
Allah created halaal and haraam methods , if their is halal way NO one can stop him , if every one married times. if they could do justice then their would barely be zina and the ummah would incerease,and tsociety as a whole would be more focused ,their attensions and intensions wouild not waver. Those who advise against this without legitimate cause, may Allah guide them or take them. it seems wimen want their men selfishlyy ,whaT do suppose we do with the growing ratio of wimen. leave them to a life of evil, use and abuse , what of the children are born from this, evil are those who prohibit this way. i NFACT IT IS A MEANS BY MUNAAFIQS TO ALLOW FREE MIXING And zina rather than the hallaaal way and islaaam.,to help towards a better society for the better.