Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Can I seek Khula before ruksati?

marriage islam nikah purpose of

Assalamu Alaikum,

I have a serious issue regarding my marriage. I will really appreciate your quick response and helping me in guidance with this issue.

I was bonded in nikah over 4 years ago with someone abroad but haven’t lived with him yet due to visa processing. In these whole 4 years I tried a lot to make understanding with him, but failed at every attempt and my dislike for him has grown so much now that I can’t and won’t even let him come close to me.

There are no apparent flaws in his character, but i fear my dislike for him will make me act unjustly with him and not be able to fulfill the responsibilities of a wife.
Now I want to seek Khula. I came across Surah Baqarah 2:229 which talks about Divorce and Khula.

… unless both fear that they they would not be able to keep the limits ordained by Allâh, then there is no sin on either of them if she gives back (the Mahr or a part of it) for her Al Khul ( divorce). The Noble Qur’an – 2:229
And this Hadith from Sahih Al-Bukhari Volume 7, Book 63, Number 199: Narrated Ibn ‘Abbas:

The wife of Thabit bin Qais bin Shammas came to the Prophet and said, “O Allah’s Apostle! I do not blame Thabit for any defects in his character or his religion, but I cannot endure to live with him and I am afraid that I (being a Muslim) may become unthankful (or behave in an unIslamic manner) for Allah’s Blessings.” On that, Allah’s Apostle said (to her), ‘Will you return his garden to him?” She said, “Yes.” So she returned his garden to him and the Prophet told him to divorce her.

I want to know does this Surah and/or Hadith applies to my situation and can I lawfully free myself before ruksati from this marriage? which has become a severe mental torture for me even though i have not yet lived with him and can’t even bear to imagine living with him.

Please reply as soon as possible, my marriage ceremony is only a few weeks away.

May Allah bless you for helping and guiding His people in Islam.



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7 Responses »

  1. Asalaam alikuim sister,

    I m sorry to read about ur situation.. But I m not getting something from ur post what have u made him understand these four years? Do u mean he don't understand u ? What is the reason ? why do u wanna divorce ur husband .. I mean there should be some logic reason that u wanna take Khula .. I mean divorce is such a big decision in everyone's life and I m sure u must be having some valid reason to get divorced from ur husband .. As far as I know the Allah's most hated permissible/permission is divorce and If u could give little more detail about the reason of ur Khula we all can state some better advice.

    And sister whatever u deciding think twice and decide .. May Allah help u in ur problems and others who are facing a similar situation or maybe different .

    • Mentioned hadess in question is enough and authentic... Without any defact and fault in man, women can took khula just because the the reason of she is no more interested in him or she will unable to perform her deu responsibilities.. She may ask for khula without any solid reason, if a women assume that she will not happy or satisfied is enough reason to ask for khula..
      والله اعلم
      وبالله توفیق

  2. Sister,

    Four years is quite some time but most definitely not the end of the world. I would like to understand your post better. What is it about this man that makes you dislike him so much? Does he argue or verbally abuse you?


  3. Assalaamualaikam

    Rukhsati is a cultural tradition. It's not a marriage ceremony in itself. The nikah is the marriage, which is why you and your husband are halal for each other now. So, you don't need to wait for rukhsati to exercise your rights within the marriage (which includes the right to ask for khula).

    Before making a decision about whether to request divorce, think carefully about why you want this, and whether anything could change how you feel. 4 years ago, you agreed to marry him and went through with a nikah - what qualities did he have that meant you wanted to be his wife then? What has changed over the years? And could this be addressed by other means such as marriage counselling?

    I'd also advise you to pray istikhara (you can get information about how to do this from the articles on this site), and ask Allah to guide you to what is best for you in this life and the next.

    Midnightmoon editor

  4. Please can u talk to me I have the same situation my husband is abroad we did nikah but now its impossible to live with him because I will tell you .. it's been 2 years

  5. Rohsati Nahi Howe hai larki ky damaghi halat teak Nahi hai I want ky khula lo..Q ky wo hod Nahi deta engagement ma nikah howa hai ..plz repl

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