Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Can there be a second marriage?

Husband with his wives

Can there be a second marriage when first wife who can't bear more children is not allowing it?

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8 Responses »

  1. Yes, a second marriage is permissible. This right was given by Allah(swt). The husband can marry again without her permission. It will be up to the husband to decide if it is the best thing to do??? The first wife may want a divorce and custody of the children. The husband has to be prepared for all possible outcomes. I feel sorry for the first wife in this situation, but actually he does not need her permission. May Allah(swt) bless both the husband and wife with the best in this situation.

    • And then what happens if the second wife can't have child? Ok fine, he can go and marry a third wife, but then what if the third wife can't have child either????

      Also what should the wife do if it is the husband that can't make kids????

      • I said the husband has to be prepared for all possible outcomes. The new wife might not be able to have kids is a possibility. (There are other possibilities, good and bad in this scenario.) But even if the first wife could have more children the husband can take a second wife if he wants without her "permission". I also said the husband would have to determine if it was the best thing to do. Personally I think the husband should be content with what he has. But the question was can he do it. The answer is yes.

        • Thank you for clarifying.

          It depends on what they agreed on in the nikah contract, where the wife has a right to add a clause concerning polygamy (which I recommend all women do so situations like this one can't arise). Most would say it also depends on the law of the land, since most scholars agree that muslims must live according to the law of the land.

          To make a nikah contract with a clause about polygamy may be one of the most important things in a woman's life for her well being and sefaty and happiness, and that of her children, which is why it is made permissible by Allah. Women who want to live in polygamous marriage, which of course is also permissible, might still need a way out if the other wife is of low deen, makes life bad for the family, has an STD or if the husband can't manage.

  2. Salaam

    What is strictly speaking permissible may not always be what is good. We are told to be kind to each other and more so to our spouse. And sometimes we may want what is not good for us, and disdain what is good for us..

    We know two things about your wife: One is that she can not conceive, one is that she does not want to live in a polygamous marriage.

    How do you think it will feel for her to be thrown into polygamy against her will? It may be your right to be polygamous, but is it your right to hurt your wife at any cost? And how do you think it will feel for your wife who has to live with the pain of not having a child to know that you are having children with another woman? If she had been ok with that, fine but against her will it is double the pain. Do you want that for her? Are you wanting for your wife what you want for yourself? Do you want her to spend half the rest of her life all alone and in pain, while you are away building a life and a family with another woman? And do you want a life with a sad, angry, jealous wife who will come to resent you? Could you stay fair and just even if your first wife grows hateful and resentful and sad, while your new wife has children who need you?

    If you marry again and your first wife chooses to ask for khul, are you prepared to let her go?

    My advice is accept the fate Allah has decided for you. If you feel you can not live with your first wife only, let her go. Allow her to find happiness, maybe with a widower or divorcee who can give her a good marriage and children too. Don't be selfish.

  3. Salam,

    You're allowed to get a second wife and she is allowed to divorce you. So if she's set on not splitting her husband time with someone else and you're set on getting a wife that can bear children then why not separate with kindness now? Why force her to accept another woman and build resentment and make her leave? I hope you do the best for her and yourself Inhsallah.

  4. Yes of course Islamically is acceptable.

    • Islamically, there are boundaries and limitations.

      And from an individual point of view, there are many considerations to be made.

      Please bear in mind that people are not perfect. We all have feelings, faults and shortcomings. We also have strong love for each other, for our families. Before one says "of course" one must remember that every choice has consequences. You may want something, it may be permissible, and it may still turn out a catastrophe and you might lose everything - because you made your choice based on selfishness, lack of consideration, lust or some other sinful urge.

      Want for your wife what you want for yourself. Be a garment to your wife. Act on kindness and consideration. Ask yourself: What would the Prophet PBUH have had to say about how I handle myself in this?

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