Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Can this count as divorce?

Red button with divorce written on top.

I was married June 2014 but behaviour of my wife towards me and my parents were not good. She has arrogant attitude and she back answers and for this my parents have left me and they stay separate.

My wife has bad behaviour with my kids from first wife and now i want divorce from her which i asked her but she demanded lacs of rupees, and now she is not staying with us she left house on own and now she is away more than 6 months and there is no contact from them.

Can this be understood as divorce and that we are no more husband and wife as we are not staying together since last 6 months?

Please advice.


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3 Responses »

  1. Staying desperately doesn't make a marriage invalid .In your case Divorce has not happened .You both are still husband and wife even after separation.
    For divorce to happen it should be announced 3 times by husband ..

    Please refer to below islamqa link for divorce FAQ .

  2. No living separately does not mean you are divorced. You need to read Surah Talaq and follow the rules re Talaq set by Allah swt. Do not pronounce Talaq three times, this is a very unislamic practice often practiced by men from South Asia and it is a victimisation of women. You need to give one talaq and one months iddat and so on. First please ensure you have good islamic reasons for divorce

  3. Assalaamu Alaykum,

    Divorce is not something you ask for your wife to agree to give you. Divorce is in your hand, as the husband. You can issue a divorce any time simply by telling your wife "I divorce you". She doesn't have to agree with it, like it, or want it. You hold that power. When you say it, it's valid whether you gave her a sum of money or not.

    I am not sure what sum of money she would want in return for a divorce. I'm assuming you already handed her dowry to her when you married her. If not, then she will still be entitled to it. In addition, she is entitled to the same financial maintenance during her iddah (waiting period) that you provided to her while married. She should also not leave your marital home until the iddah is completed.

    If you issue a divorce, and within the iddah you change your mind, you can take her back simply by saying so, or even touching her sexually. After that, two divorces remain. If you divorce her again, you can take her back again, but not after the third time. That one is final (unless she happens to sincerely remarry, consummate the marriage, and then divorce another man. Then and only then she could remarry you).

    These are the technicalities of Islamic divorce. However, you have to really examine why you are divorcing. Allah is Seer and Knower of all things hidden and apparent, and He watches when we go forward into serious decisions like this.

    You say your wife doesn't treat your parents or her stepchildren well. Have you told her what you want from her in that regard? Have you tried talking to her about it? Do you understand her orientation or reasons as to why she might behave that way? Perhaps she feels like they don't respect her, or care for her.

    Make sure that each decision you take is with the entreaty of Allah's guidance and favor. Don't let your emotions and even your thoughts tell you what's true- all of us are functioning with only a fraction of the true picture and all of us are being misled by our own programming and perceptions. Only Allah's view is the correct and full one, so we have to continue to rely on Him to go forward into what is really best for us. May Allah help you find your way forward with your wife as He likes in shaa Allah.

    -Amy Editor

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