Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I cannot have children and my husband wants to divorce

Teenage girl carrying a heavy heart, big heart

My husband announced the other day that he would like to live apart for me for a while (including the entire duration of Ramadan). I suspect it is because I cannot have children and he plans to eventually divorce me. I am okay with this because I want him to be happy in this life and I want him to have children of his own.

I want to stay on the right path, be kind and have no bitterness in my heart towards him. It is hard to do. Could you tell me how to stay on the right path during this trying time? Are there some prayers I should say.

 I need to be strong as my mother is sick and needs my help.


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3 Responses »

  1. Salaams,

    You already have a noble character to accept his wishes for divorce based on your inability to have children. So many women would feel indignant and entitled to be kept, even though there is a specific caveat in Islam for divorce due to infertility. I am sure you are struggling with some of your own personal feelings, but you are trying to do the right thing and keep a submissive spirit toward Allah about it.

    This Ramadan has been a time of testing and trial for so many brothers and sisters, so know that you are not alone and that so many of us are taking on huge challenges we may not have faced before. We are all trying to support one another by keeping our fasts and pursuing humility. Continue to make your mother your primary focus, as she needs you to help her while she is ill. Stay by her side and ask her to tell you some of her favorite stories if she is able. You can ask her what challenges she faced when she was younger and how she overcame them, and this will give you another example of hers to use in your own life. If she is not well enough to talk, read or tell her stories about people who had a hardship but overcame it. Even though they are not Islamic, the "chicken soup for your soul" books have a lot of uplifting stories anyone can identify with. As long as we make someone else our focus, and put others ahead of ourselves, it's difficult to feel self pity or bitterness.

    At night when you are alone, if you start to feel sad or weak, make a sincere du'a to Allah for strength. You can pour out your cares to Him as often as you need to, and ask Him for help. Insha'Allah the blessings of our fasts this Ramadan will open up ease for every Muslim who is struggling during this blessed month.

    -Amy Editor

  2. that is a very difficult situation. I pray Allah has mercy on your soul and bring you peace. And the spirit of yours to accept fate and do the right thing is very praiseworthy. May Allah be with you. Amin 🙂

  3. There are many cases where couples have not been able to have kids, and then at a later years after praying, performing umrah or hajj, they have had many children, he needs to be patient, May Allah bless you and give your husband patience and the wisdom to realise he has someone caring and loving- something people crave for.

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