Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My parents will not consent to us marrying because they say she is poor

empty wallet, poorI am a sunni muslim who is deeply in love with a chaste and pious muslim woman. I am established person.

My parents aren't agreeing to marry me with her as they say that those people are poor and they didn't respect us by giving best foods when we went to there home. Also that they won't be able to give Jahez and they won't be able to support to financially.  The woman's family is agreeing.

What should I do, I believe I won't be able to live without her and I will do something haram.

Please give me advice and Fatwa on this,

Thank you.

- mr.ab18

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6 Responses »

  1. brother, jahez/dowry from girl's side is haram in islam. plus, they are NOT supposed to do any financial support. allah has ordered the husband to support the woman financially, and islamically he gives her the dowry. i think your family and the girls' have improper knowledge of deen like most of our indo-pak culture.
    there doesn't even need to be a fancy wedding or anything. a simple nikkah and waleemah would suffice. no need for wasting money, except spending money for your wife and feding guests whatever you can afford.

  2. Totally agree, it is haraam for your parents to asking the girls family to pay for the wedding. All I will say is if you really love her and want to marry this girl then accept her for who she is rather than marrying someone who as money, education, status etc it doesn’t buy a happy marriage and love. Otherwise don’t ask for her hand in marriage if you going to treat her differently just because they are poor then later on abuse and make her feel little just because they not like you.

  3. I am sorry to say this but ur parenst are materialistic and ignorant

    Our prophet Mohammed SAWS said a women is married for 4 things, its either her beauty, wealth, background or chastity. Those of you( men) who marry for the money, beauty or family backgrounds will be the loser.."

    He advised us to marry pious woman so that you can stay happy in ur life and have peace of mind. Try ur best to convince ur parents otherwise go to the court and get married (if u feel u mite do sumthn haraam)

    TRUST me, nowdays its difficult to find women who are chaste and pious. You are lucky to have her so be beside her and dont leave her just coz of absurd reasons that ur parenst are using. Allah says in Quarn to marry women of your choice. So you have the right to marry her.

    All the best

  4. dear brother ,

    if what you have said is true then your family is being very unreasonable and i must say ignorant. i can imagine they might be saying that this girl has trapped you because your are stable and 'rich'. i think in this situation you should speak to them with good resoning and no anger ,try to convince them.involve a reasonable learned member of the family,who can drive some sense in them.you must always keep in mind that even if you do get married without agreement of family they may make the girls life a hell and inreturn yours.

    give this issue sometime. sometimes family give in when you have given them time to come terms to their emotions and unreasonable attitudes.show them the best of your behaviour at this time as what ever you will say against them they will think this girl has taught you.

    take care my brother.

    may Allah help you.

    friend

  5. I agree with Cowsgomoo. The husband is to give dowery and financially support the wife. How does your family know they didn't give best food? They probably did give the best food they could give as they are poor. I have personally found in life that piousness and general goodhearted personality is a much better gauge of a partner material. Money doesn't matter except when dealing with low people who wrack up much debt (and lies with it) or gambling.

    Maybe you could expound on her virtues other then money issues. Money does not make a wife or husband. Integrity, caring, loyalty, trustworthiness, patience, mother qualities, cleanliness, hard worker and I'm sure more.

    My rich husband with all the money was the worst husband a woman could have.

    I am lucky I am now with a man who is caring and loving. Not just to me but to all people. He has a good heart. I pray everynight to keep him safe. He is not rich and I don't care about it.

    Aren't matches made in heaven?

  6. salaams

    In Islam marriage is sacred and should not be mocked. What Allah brings 2 people together let no one put a barrier which includes materialistic duniya things. One should look for peity in a person rather than wealth. Piety will take you to akirah wealth will remain only on this earth!!!

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