Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Can’t sleep at night because of unhappiness and stress

Angry in-laws


(See also author's previous post: My husband is not standing up for me against his parents).

Its been 3 weeks and I have not slept. I feel tired but cannot sleep, its as if my brain will not switch off. In the beginning I was worried and all the pain, trouble and anguish my in laws gave me came rushing into my thoughts, leaving to to spend all night thinking.

My mother in law has made my life hell, she is always making negative comments, has made me feel worthless and has been manipulative. She does something and she blames it on me, she just can not live without causing issues and making small things into big problems. My father in law always backs their wife and their is so much animosity with me and my in laws.  My sister in laws are the same and on occasions have tried ruining my marriage.

I can't stop crying as I have told my husband I am fed up and can't take this anymore. But he can't do anything because at the moment he has no income/no job. He is stuck between his parents and me. I always keep thinking if he cared about me he would have moved out. He knows all that I have been through living in this house, yet he still says to me I cant do anything when it comes to me crying.

I have cried day and night and just feel so unhappy. I have tried not letting this affect my marriage but I feel like it is now. I'm losing my patience, I've been patient for 2 years but I have struggled to sleep because of worry, pain and I cant forget how my in laws have oppressed me.

I need help sleeping as the more I'm not the more I keep crying and cant do anything during the day. I get angry and vent on my husband. I have started giving up on him and have stopped telling him how I feel or what's wrong with me because all this time he has done nothing to help me.

I'm really struggling mentally, emotionally and don't feel like eating. I just want to sort myself out by being able to firstly sleep again. I'm tired but my head wont allow me to sleep.

- P3ac3

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6 Responses »

  1. Salaam my dear sister in Islam,
    Your situation is truly very nasty. What saddens me even more is the fact that this sort of treatment towards daughter in laws is still very prevalent in some cultures.

    Regarding your specific issues, i think the following:
    1. please stand up for yourself
    2. Speak to some one you trust to allow you to vent and chat through things, this will ease your burden. Also, seek counselling. Have you seen your GP regarding your inability to sleep.
    3. Establish all 5 daily prayers
    4. Supplicate to Allah in abundance, remember tella us in the Quran He does not burden any soul more that what one can cope with.

    Hang in there, remember nothing will remain forever including your pain and struggle.

    With all my duas.
    Aaisha Hussain

    • Wa'alykum Asalaam Sister,

      It is really sad and just shouldn't be the case. why cant everyone just be nice, why does such people have to make others life so difficult.

      I have come home to my parents for a few weeks Alhamdulillah and I have been able to sleep. I did not sleep for 2 months properly at my in laws, lost a lot of weight too. I think i was very worried, stressed, annoyed, fed up and im in a position where i just dont want to tolerate this anymore. Its painful.

      Yes prayer and listening to the Quran being recited helps too....jazakallah khairan for the advice sis.


  2. I am sorry you are dealing with this. I think you should see a doctor; something is wrong if you are not able to sleep. Your body needs rest, or it won't function properly. You might need to stay in the hospital so they can monitor you. Also, I think you need a break from your current living situation. If you are totally miserable, you should move back home to your parent's house. I think the stress of living with your in-laws will continue to be harmful to your mental health. Honestly, I think you should stay with your parents until your husband can provide housing for you and takes better care of you. There might be jealousy/anger/resentment towards you from your in-laws, so until your husband can stand up for you, then you might want to keep your distance from his family. InshaAllah, your situation will get better.

    • I was going to say the same thing. Stay with your parents until your husband gets a job and can afford to get a place. You are living at a toxic environment. People with backward cultural mentality.

    • Thank you. I am doing exactly that, I have come to stay with my parents for a few weeks and already started feeling better.
      There is definitely resentment/jealousy/anger that my in laws have, I don't know what to do about it?



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