Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My mother caught me sending dirty photos to a guy

Woman holding mobile phone

My mother caught me sending dirty texts and photos to a guy that I had been talking to for over a year.

I completely ended my contact with the guy after that and finally got my Iman back through this incident and have finally started praying and having faith in Allah again.

I have previously gotten in trouble for talking to this guy on the phone twice a couple months ago but I ended things and then they somehow started up again.

My issue is that I do not know how to convince my mother that this time i truly am stopping all the bad things I have ever done like this. I can honestly say this was a huge wake up call for me and have changed my life, i just need my mother to forgive me and not be upset with me. Please help.

- samvam

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9 Responses »

  1. Assalamu Alaikum,

    Samvam, glad that your are learning from your mistake. As far as your mother, understand that when she is upset , she wants to protect you. She loves you and she only wants you the good in life.

    You can ask her to forgive you but you also need to show her from your actions that you really regret your mistake and you are changing for the better. First, you have to stop your relation with the guy. Second, try to be close to Allah and your mom.

    Thank Allah for the wake up call. Keep Allah in your heart, He will keep you in His path.

    Best of luck,


  2. Okay so pre-marital relations is completely forbidden in Islam and it has sevre consequences. Do repent sincerely and never get back to this actions again insha'Allah.
    Regarding convincing your mum that you have truly stopped, you just need to become a sincere genuine muslimah inorder for your mum to believe that you have become a better person. You do that by praying 5 times, reading the Quran, fasting etc and you're not doing these just to please your mum but its a duty Allah commanded us to do and if failed will lead us to hell. So thank Allah for the wakeup call and be good. And then build a good relationship with your mum.

    All the best

  3. Sister samvam

    I suggest you not worry about what you mother thinks and worry about pleasing Allah. It does not matter what others think, because Allah knows your heart.

    Show your mother the proper respect she deserves. You are the one who did these things, and your mother must do her duty as your mother to try to help you in your spiritual growth.

    If she is more involved and concerned now, that is good. It will help you. Just because you stopped does not eliminate the consequences from your actions before.


    • I agree with AmericanMuslim. Humble yourself and understand that where it takes time to build trust, it takes only a second to break it. Your Mother's trust in you has been broken and even if you know in your heart and mind that you are not doing wrong anymore - it will take time for your Mother to believe this.

      So if your she keeps a more watchful eye over you, bear it. She has a right to do so. She also has a duty to try her best to protect you, as she is answerable to Allah for the way she has brought you up.


      What can you do?

      Do tawbah. Stay away from whatever it was that lead you to contacting this boy. If you do not stay away from 'those things', you leave yourself vulnerable to falling into the same mistakes again. Straighten yourself. Focus on your studies, come home from school, work, college on time. Make your life transparent, when it so, there will be no doubt that it is clean. Interact with your family with due time and respect. Learn about your deen, when you do so, you will become drawn towards practising it.

      When your main concern becomes your relationship with Allah(swt), He(swt) will sort out your relationship with your Mother and other people insha'Allah.

      Best Wishes,

      SisterZ Editor

      • SisterZ

        Your answer, including the "What can you do?" portion was much better than mine. Masha'Allah.

        AmericanMuslim Editor

  4. Sister,

    My daughter broke my trust not once but twice. Right now, I wouldn't trust her as far as I could throw her (and that's very not far). The first time she broke my trust, it took nearly a year for her to gain any trust from me at all. I no sooner began to build my trust in her and have faith in her decisions and the choices she makes and she turned around and broke my trust yet again.Trust must be earned and once it is broken, it is difficult however not impossible to regain. Your mother must be heartbroken to learn of your actions and it will be a while for her to forgive you. I only wish forgetting was as easy.

    Fear Allah and his wrath and be a good daughter to the woman who bore you and raised you up. You deserve better and so does your mother. Treat her with love and kindness and be gracious with her. Continue to repent and seek forgiveness with Allah.I will pray for you and your continued path to a better life and a closer connection to Allah as well as your mother.


    • Najah,

      Thank you for giving us your insight as a Mother. I am sure the sister will find it very useful insha'Allah.

      SisterZ Editor

      • Salam SisterZ,

        Thank you for your kind words. God willing this sister will heed all the advice offered here in this forum. May Allah guide her and keep her on the straight path of Islam always.


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