Islamic marriage advice and family advice

We chatted online and he fell in love with me


computer mice, online relationship, online love

I "met"  this boy in a chatroom 6 months ago. And we kept talking on msn. We started to appreciate eachother. We can't meet cause we aren't in the same country. He's Black and im Arab which doesn't ease the things. Indeed, i know for a fact my mom will never accept him thats why i didn't tell anybody.

He's muslim thats the most important thing to me but not to my mom. But my mom comes first. I told him many times that it won't work and it hurts his feelings.

Well my mind is made up, i know i won't marry him. Problem is that he said that if we've met on this chatroom, its not a coincidence, Allah (swt) wanted us to meet. Well i don't see it this way. Cause i know that chatting aint good for a muslim girl, plus chatting with a boy is Haram. To me it's like Allah was testing me. I know that what i've done aint good, i hope Allah will forgive me. But he doesn't seem to understand, he likes me alot and want to marry me.

I know its crazy cause we have never met. I told him that it was impossible cause of my mom but it did hurt him alot. My question is what should i do? I wanna leave and don't talk to him anymore but he'll be very sad. To me marriage with him is definitely impossible and i don't see me with him.....but i don't wanna hurt what should i do? Leave and don't say a word?

Thank you.

- Melissa

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4 Responses »

  1. As salamu alaykum Melissa,

    You know already what you want, more you wait to tell him not to have hope, more you are going to hurt him, because someway it seems you are feeding his hope to marry you.

    May Allah(swt) guide all of us to the Straight Path, insha´Allah.

    All my unconditional Love and Respect,


  2. Wassalam Sister,

    I faced the exact problem like you did. I also met a boy on facebook, fell in love.he was from the same country, spoke same language..same city..exactly near my house. It was destiny that we met. .he was so madly in love with me..and i realised how my mum will totally not agree if i told her and at the same time, i had a fiance..he found out about it, then my parents..and you cannot imagine what happened after that. But alhamitllah, yours not that bad yet. I realised how wrong i was and even know, i ask Allah(swt) for forgivness.

    I would suggest tell him the truth. I told him the truth and he understands it now. Tell him its haraam in Islam, and you dont want him to get hurt..and that ur parents will never allow it. Tell him and leave. Its was fate that you two met...and its fate that you must leave. Allah(swT) does thing for a reason..and if you make a sacrifice for him, he will give you something better. Alhamtillah, i've found out the beauty of Islam..and would never ever leave it again. Inshallah, Allah(swt) will give you a better husband..I will make dua for you sister..and pls make dua for me aswell.

    Good luck Sis, and i think its best if ur parents dont find out, my parents did and my dad nearly had a heart attack. I feel so guitly even now. My fiance's dad got admitted to hospital now..

    Tc sister. Move on with life, Learn from ur mistake, and inshallah, Allah(swt) will forgive you and give you a good husband.

  3. The more you keep it going and the more it'll hurt because he'll still have his hopes up. I respect you for telling him how it is and making your mind up and letting him know. Be firm, don't worry, heart breaks heal (eventually) 🙂 Pray for him, and insha'Allah yourself too, that Allah swt makes it easy and forgives the wrongs and aides in making it right..Ameen

  4. assalamualaikum. .

    These are the traps of Shaitan; today u may say u dont like him, but shaitan can mislead u. . u can't say what is going to come next. .

    only ALLAH knows. . and ALLAH knows the best.

    just do not speak to him anything and stop conversation with even the other men who are not permissible to you (this may be difficult but u need to be strong) and you have to do this. .

    just change ur id or just block him and see to tht he cannot get in touch with u;

    inshaALLAH ,that guy will forget you and move on in life. .

    do reply if this was helpful or not

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