Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Am I committing sin by chatting with a Christian guy who wants to become Muslim and marry me?

Salam alaykum, dear brothers and sisters!

I have to hear your opinion about my case. I am 20 years old and very devoted Muslima, alhamdulillah. I pray 5 times a day and fast Ramadan, wear hijab, don't and never had a boyfriend and practice Islam in every segment in my life. I even avoid to talk to boys. Because I know it is haram and to save my chastity.

Anyway, 2 months ago, on the internet, I met a guy who is not Muslim. Probably, I wouldn't be talking to him if he didn't tell me that he respects Islam even more than his religion (Christianity). Therefore; following the obligation of us Muslims, I have tried to present him Islam the best I can. Meanwhile, he started asking me questions about myself, my hobbies, my views to life, to other religions, love, marriage. I answered him to these questions according to beliefs of my faith. we  chatted every day; and he told me that he started to like me very much and even considering to convert to Islam because of me.

He told me that he never met a girl like me and that it is amazing how Islam is similar to Christianity. The interesting fact about him that somehow he lives like a Muslim, he doesn't eat pork, doesn't drink Alcohol, didn't have sex before marriage. He says every day that, I miss him. I chat with him for 2 months.

My question are;

1. Should I continue to chat with him in order to convert him to Islam (I don't intend anything bad like dating, relationship)?

2. He fell in love with me, I don't know what to answer him?

3. Did I commit sin because I have been chatting with him all this time?

4. He wants to meet me in personal, is it haram for me to meet him regarding the fact that still he did not convert to Islam?

Please answer, what should I do in this situation because sometimes I feel that I have started to like him too. May Allah reward you all!

Jaci.


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34 Responses »

  1. Assalamu 'alaikum,

    Dear sister,

    Know that this is one of the trap that shaitan has laid for you.
    You will see this with many muslims who is talking to the other gender using the excuse of dawah.
    You have absolutely no rights to talk to this man. Even trying to bring him close to Islam. Fear for yourself first.
    You liking him is proof enough that shaitan's effort has paid off.
    If you really want to help this guy, give his contact details to some brother that you know and asked him to do the dawah.
    You have comitted sin and and you should repend.

    Jzk Allah

    • I agree with you .. TELL ME IF YOU WERE A MAN. WOULD THAT CHRISTIAN GUY SAY THAT HE LOVE AND RESPECT ISLAM MORE?....

      • As I said,only Allah knows what is in one´s hearts. But according to his life story; i think he would say the same because he is disappointed in christianity.

        • Then why didnt he learned about Islam earlier if according to you he is disappointed by Christianity ? why not to learn from a scholar or Imam rather from a girl. /

          • I didnt have an opportunity to ask him; I have deleted him from my contacts list; but you are right , if he was really interested in Islam ,he could have contacted imam or scholar,not a girl 🙂

  2. Oh my Allah!!! Editors you Need to spennlittle
    Bit more time on selecting picture trust this pic fears me. Very danger pic :/

    • lol. Sister, you need to overcome this fear. The evils related to this matter are dangerous.

      Seriously, the fear on the Day of Resurrection is much more. May Allah keep us under His shade on that day.

      Aameen
      Muhammad Waseem
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  3. Salamualaikum,

    Sister, your devotion is appreciable Alhamdulillah.
    Your intention is pure. But it is not your duty to call that person to Islam, because he is a non Mahram, who could damage your Deen to an extent which may even lead to disbelief.

    To answer your questions in order,
    1. As I said above, you an not need to. So, just remove him off your chat list. If possible, change your profile so that he can not trace you.

    2. You need not answer him. Just cut all contact and stay far from him.

    3. Your intention was pure, insha Allah. Shaitaan may have put evil thoughts in your mind and heart. And this is where the evil begins. You can see the image above, which explains this. May Allah forgive you. Just refuge in Allah from the Shaitaan and Hope for His Mercy. He is indeed The Most Merciful.

    4. Whether He reverts to Islam or not, it is HARAAM for you to meet him. It will surely lead to the sin of Zina. Hence, do not even have the thought of meeting him.

    The conclusion is: remove him off your chat list, cut any kind of contact other than this you have with him, and avoid getting trapped in the trap of Shaitaan, and earn reward from Allah, insha Allah.

    Wassalamualaikum
    Muhammad Waseem
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  4. Thank you very much! May Allah reward you inshallah! I will delete him immediately. Sometimes shaitan leads us to sin and we are not even aware of it; he makes the bad things look good for us; but the reason why i did not want to still delete him is the thing that he was very interested about islam,but you are right; sometimes people on the internet lie in order to get what they want. may Allah save us all!

  5. Sister I will answer your 2ndQ. If he likes you tell him to convert as yoda said by any brother then tell him to meet your parents you don't need to meet him " personally"

  6. As salam aly kum ,
    very good answer by Yoda and Muhammad Waseem, thanks for guidance to people according to quran and hadees ..nice job ..i appricaite your hard work

  7. Thank you all for advices 🙂

  8. you dont need to go ahead, because such guys are definitely fraud. He will just convert to marry you, but he will never be religious. Such guys are acting world wide to trap muslim girls. So be safe.
    khuda hafiz

    • Indeed;only Allah knows what is in one´s hearts. But sometimes;unfortunately,even people who were born muslims do not believe in everything what islam says,for example the punishment in Jahannam; but those people call themselves muslims. So, is it the equal sin; who converted only to marry you and is only formally muslim; or born muslims who are suspicious about many things in islam and who are not devouted!? Only Allah knows what people hide in their hearts.

      • I dont know why but i'm tempted to reply :D... People who were born muslims and doesn't believe in hell huh !! One of the pillars of Islam to to believe in the hereafter, and the hereafter has heaven and hell. I mean if hell is explicitly written in the Qur'an then how can a sane muslim deny it ? I dont think there is any muslim like that and if there is then may be a revert, or ex muslim or fakers. I heard cat stevens aka yusuf islam has this view ( its rumour not fact though) They may just "call" themselves " Muslims" but outside there is a wolf skin.

        The sins not equal.

        Ironically, a sinful muslim is better than the best of non-sinning non-muslim in the sight of Allah (SWT) and the only reason being, the muslim though he commited major sins, He believe in Allah(SWT). It doesn't mean that the sinful muslim won't have a trip to HELL FIRE, oh yeah he certainly would. He gonna stay there till his sins are purified and that can be around 1000+ earth years, IMAGINE and that is by burning it 🙁 . Unlike for those who dont believe in Allah (SWT), they won't even smell the fragrance of paradise, forget the trip.

        For those who convert to Islam ONLY to marry a muslim girl hasn't converted AT ALL.. The only conversion is a sincere conversion with the guidance of Allah (SWT), not guidance of a muslim girl. So here we see that the abode of the person who converted for the sake of marrying and not sincere is hell fire. and the muslim girl would not be held responsible for that person's action. BUT she would be held responsible for breaching the Divine Islamic law by marrying a non muslim.

  9. to the OP why is it that the internet is a place you can meet mahram's openly, but you can't in person? You need to look at your actions as to why you allowed such a relationship to form in the first place and learn the intentions and spirituality behind your actions.

  10. Assalam o Alaikum,

    Jeci i have read your all message, this is the same happened with me few days ago ,and that person is christian, Im in the uk n also wear hijab , that person tried to contact me n said that he wants to marry me, i told him that if u want to marry me n if u r really interested then read Quran n u would have to accept Islam. He started his conversation with me , saying that i would convert to Islam for u, but he couldnt. i just saw him once or twice where i work. And im agree with Muhammad Waseem, Yoda and others that its the way of trapping a girl, n its sheitan who create this type of story in anyone's mind to do so. May Allah safe us all from bad things and sheitan. Ameen.

  11. the thing is that he was thinking about islam before he met me;but didnt know that much about it; because the country he comes from(Germany); he is German,serves bad and false information about islam. and yes,he started reading Qur´an and said that he is fascinated by some aspects of islam,like fasting,hajj...
    but he said that converting requires a lot of thinking and learning about it.and he thinks that he could be a good muslim because he lives in many aspects like muslims as i mentioned above. once,he told me that our meeting wasnt by case;and that it has some purpose because he is now in process of orientation; he became disappointed by some aspects of christianity;therefore;not only me was the reason for him to start thinking about converting; but also his own life; because the german society he lives in makes fun of him because he lives moral life.he thinks islam can be his hope and that muslims could accept him...i told him i feel sorry for him and that all answers he can find in Qur´an...i hope he will realise the truth one day,inshallah:)

    • Masha'Allah , I'm happy for this man for he seems to be studying Islam and understanding it. He seems to be fascinated about many aspects of Islam and that is heart warming . May Allah (SWT) guide him to Islam.

      BUT my 20 year old sister, I can sense the danger you are doing, you have to STOP STOP chatting with this man and severe all ties with him . If you have done it, then ALHAMDULLILAH. The way you are writing your post seems to me that, that man is but fooling you. You have to keep in mind that, in order to fool someone, the only tactic is lying. You said and I quote " once,he told me that our meeting wasnt by case;and that it has some purpose because he is now in process of orientation ", the lying can't get any better sister, It seems He is doing the stuffs in his agenda and you are falling into it. STAND strong if you alrady have then ignore this.. 😀

      If he is studing Islam sincerely then good for him. Alhamdullilah and you should not be concerned about it. You should not follow his progress etc it basically means that you have to FORGET that you ever chatted with him. You seem to be a great pious person yourself, continue staying that way and Insha'Allah we pray for your future to be greater. Ameen.

  12. sister u r doing correct but allah has laid some restrictions for women and men i can give u lots of example where our inniocent muslim sisters are fell in love with like these guys especially cristians they r the most dangerous for islam sister allah says in the quran the when 1 male and 1 female meet each other saitan is the third person who acts in these matter sister u say u pray 5 times a day i think u also knows quran allah say that o beliving women never get indulge with non belivers and u say that he wants to convert to islam and wants to marry u sister no 1 can garuntee that he will fellow islam after the marriage but still i say allah knwos better sister chatting with males is not allowed in islam but still u had done that these is clear sign of saitan sister i request u please dont get in trouble as 1 of the friend said who give him the address of dawwah center once he is fully with his will he converts to islam then u can marry him but frist love should b towards allah and his messanger then comes u r love if with is heart he accept islam the allah gives u person to marry a revert muslim but still chances r less be careful and think twice before ehat ever u do bcoz these life is very short the life after these u and me have to answer allah may allah bless you.

  13. thank you very much dear brothers! i have accepted all of your advice. may ALLAH reward you all

  14. Salaam Alaikum sister,

    Sever all ties with this man. Some men say they will convert to Islam
    but really their only intention is to marry the girl.
    Its the same old story. Boy likes girl. They meet in some chatroom.
    The guy promises to become Muslim ONLY for the
    sole reason to marry the woman. When in fact he just
    wants to marry you. And who knows what other intentions
    he has. Don't fall for this trap of the CURSED SHAITAN
    (LAHNATULLAH ALAYHA).
    There's a reason that our HOLY BEAUTIFUL RELIGION OF
    ISLAM puts restrictions amongst men and women.

    Continue to practice Islam and pray and wear Hijab and
    Inshallah one day ALLAH (swt) will bless you
    with a PRACTICING MUSLIM BROTHER
    WHO PRAYS AND IS OF THE
    SAME FAITH AND CHARACTER AS YOU.
    And Insha'Allah you will live a beautiful ISLAMIC
    Life together.

    Salam Alaikum.

  15. plz stop doing bad it is haram to chat with unknown mans especially with kafirs

    and dont ever think to marry him even if he say he will accept islam

    i want to accept islam because he want to marry u

    oncec he marry u and enjoy with u than i will leave u and he wil go back to his religion

    he will dump u by making pregnant

    and he will force u to convert to christi

    plz dont ruin ur life stop chatting with him block his id

    seek forgivness from allaha and soon marry to good muslim young man

    i have a proposal for u

    iam a young handsome muslim boy never marries fresh , paak , virgi seeking good muslim girl for marriage

    iam an engg if u like my proposal than u can mail be ur details

    • "muslim young boy", I've had enough of your so-called advice. It's consists of bizarre speculations and biases. And this proposal of yours is inappropriate. I'm putting you on moderated status.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • my proposal is right

        iam not a fraud or cheater

        if she show intrest no doubt i will marry her

        do not block my comments

        i watch to safe this girl who is going to do haram

        • How do I know you are not a fraud or cheater? I don't know you. For all I know you are a sixty year old man in a prison with internet access, or a woman, or a predator of some kind. The internet provides anonymity. People who come to this website with questions are vulnerable. We will not expose them to any possible harm. Therefore we do not allow exchange of private contact information on this website.

          You are only on moderated status now, but if you cannot respect the rules of this forum, I'll have to block you completely.

          Wael
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  16. @@@muslim young brother

    you can never whether someone wants to convert to islam; even when talking about this german guy; imagine that you were born in a country surrounded with christians; your parents are christians and of course you will be christian too. it is not his fault because he was born in christian country and he has only few muslim friends(they are not much practicing); and our meeting was casual; his goal wasnt to flirt on the web. a german guy surrounded by dozens of youth who drink alcohol, have premarital marriage etc. and feels disappointed!!! he found a hope in christianity for a while, but then realised it is fake...when i told him i am religious he became FIRST INTERESTED IN ISLAM; then in me... he didnt know anything bcs german tv shows false info. about islam...he said; i feel i could be good muslim, i have a huge respect for it but it takes time and learning and thinking about it...HE SAID I WOULD NEVER CONVERT ONLY FOR THE GIRL I LOVE; I WOULD DO IT ONLY IF I FEEL ITS TRUTH!! so, i think God has a plan for him, inshallah..
    anyway; DONT JUDGE THAT HE WOULDNT BE GOOD MUSLIM AND THAT HE WOULD CONVERT ONLY TO MARRY ME!

    • Sister Jaci, since you are still active here masha'Allah. We want to know about your situation. Have you trully stopped chatting with him ? Have you remained a devoted muslimah ? Allah is our witness.

      • i have deleted him the same day when the brothers from this site told me to do so...and i was devouted muslima, i still am. i am just thinkng about his destiny all the time; maybe i was wrong bcs i deleted him; maybe he will have wrong opinion about islam now...i dont know what to think; i am worried.

        • Masha'Allah for the decision you've made by deleting him. You have to thank Allah for protecting you and your future. You did well, good stuff. 100/100.
          Now you just need to stop thinking about him for good. Whats going on in his life now is none of your concern. Imagine if he's enjoying his life with some other person or he is having the time of his life etc and you there is doing somthing useless by being worried about him. Think about yourself and your family. That man is just a stranger and he needs to be forgotten. Its not your fault if he got a negative view about Islam. I remember you told that he was interested in Islam and he found many things fascinating, but if he gets a negative view about Islam because of your broken relationship with him then he must have already known that Islam doesn't allow these types of relationship. So dont worry at all sister. He is off well without you and you should do the same. If you are intersted in marrying then approach your parents. Allah will guide him if he was sincere. Tc

  17. AND I AM NOT GOING TO DO HARAM, ESTAGFIRULLAH! I KNOW MY PATH AND WHAT ISLAM FORBIDS, WHAT IS HARAM FOR YOU ANYWAY?

  18. You need not worry about him, sister Jaci. All you did was protected yourself.
    And if Allah Wants to Guide someone, no power on Earth can stop Him. But if Allah does not Wish that the person concerned should be Guided, no power on Earth can bring him to Guidance.
    It's not your job. If Allah Wants, He will send someone else to Guide him.

    Muhammad Waseem
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

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