Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Converting to Islam (family issues)


Hello all!

Where do I begin. Around six months ago I met one of the most amazing, genuine, and caring man who I have ever laid eyes on. We started off as friends sharing similar interests in life and shared similar goals as well. As we spent more and more time with one another we both began falling for one another. As we both shared our personal life experiences, goals and simple life stories religion was one of the main topics to be brought up. I learned that he is a Muslim man and he learned that I am a Christian woman.

As we got to speaking about religion I was very interested in what he had to say about his religion. As a child growing up my family was never really religious. We would go to church once in a great while and were never taught to read the bible. Of course I believed in God, but I never really knew much about God in my particular religion. As we spoke and he would ask questions about my religion, I felt a little embarrassed as to the fact that I hardly knew anything about my faith "my so-called religion". Over the course of months he continued to teach me about his religion as well as introduced me to his family so I can ask them questions and learn more about it not just from him but from them as well.

I became fascinated and thought it was such a wonderful religion and how I wanted to be more connected with it. As months past we fell in love with one another. Of course we spoke about marriage, but he mentioned that he would only marry a Muslim girl. As the word marriage came about in our talks and getting to know one another he asked and I mention if it would be okay if I were to convert.

He did inform me that he is allowed to marry a Christian woman however, he wanted to marry a Muslim woman. I completely understand and respect his beliefs by all means. After we had this conversation I spoke to him and told him how he and his family inspired me and taught me so much about their religion that I wanted to convert.

I have personally made up my mind and decision, however I am not sure how to approach the conversation of telling my parents. Knowing that we did not grew up very religiously my parents still have a set mind of our own faith and beliefs. I know that my parents are going to have a difficult time accepting it which is normal, but was seeking advice from anyone who has gone through this or has any word of wisdom.

I made the decision that I wanted to convert not only for him and our life together, but to be closer with God and to practice the Islamic beliefs. I completely understand and respect his beliefs by all means. After we had this conversation I spoke to him and told him how he and his family inspired me and taught me so much about their religion that I wanted to convert.

As months past we fell in love with one another. Of course we spoke about marriage, but he mentioned that he would only marry a Muslim girl. As the word marriage came about in our talks and getting to know one another he asked and I mention if it would be okay if I were to convert. 

As we are both wanting to spend the rest of our lives with one another we need to make this transformation quite quickly due to a time crunch in our lives at this point. We only have one issue, which would be telling my family. I know for a fact that my parents are going to have a really hard time excepting the conversion of religion, even though growing up we were never religious they will think that I am changing who I am for a man. Let me just mention that I am a 23-year-old women, who her parents have controlled her every move for the passed 23 years.

I have never experienced this in my life nor have I ever met anyone who is going through this, and was hoping for some advice as to how or when I tell my family or if I even should. I personally do not want to tell my family because it is not any of their business as to what I do with my life, however I do not want to disrespect them and start my marriage off lying to them. Another issue that I am going to have to tell my parents is that I am going to be moving out-of-state. I have never lived more than 10 minutes away from my parents because they wouldn't allow it. Please Please Please give me some advice!

Thank you

Confused girl23

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21 Responses »

  1. Hello Sister,

    I am delighted to hear that you have seen the truth in Islam and wish you a good future and pray that Allah Gives you success in this World and the Hereafter.

    Islam is very beautiful and practicing it brings tranquiluty and pleasure. I understand that you fear the reaction of your family and also that your parents love you dearly. Why don't you begin telling them about Islam and try to create interest in them towards the Religion? Do this if possible.

    Allah The Most High and The Most Wise Created you and He Created your parents. If He Wills, He Will Guide your parents just like He Showed you the truth.

    Do not tell them directly, but indicate your interest in Islam, to see how they react. This will give you an idea about your next steps. In sha Allah, your Lord Is with you, He Will Guide you and not forsake you.

    But remember, you must hasten in your acceptance of Islam as I see you are convinced about it, because Allah Knows when we will die, will it not be best to die as a believer in our Creator?

    If your family reacts negatively, have patience and wait for the right occasion to declare your decision. I know it is difficult, but out of respect, tell them about it.

    And sister, Islam teaches that you deal patiently with your parents and respect them, even if they are not Muslim. Islam also teaches that you obey them as long as they do not ask you to do something involving disbelief or polytheism. In other words - disobedience of Allah.

    If they do not like the idea of converting, they may become angry, restrain you and warn you. This should not discourage you, and you should hold tight to the Guidance of Allah. Read more about Islam, learn about Allah, His Might and Power. And read about His Prophet - Muhammad peace be upon him. A person is not a Muslim if he or she believes in Allah but not in His Final Prophet peace be upon him. Read the message Allah Sent through him and read his sayings, preserved in form of "Saheeh Ahaadeeth" (Sound Narrations). There is a lot of wisdom that awaits you in Islam. Go grab it. It will give you strength to talk to your parents and also face them thereafter. And also be kind to them, as Islam teaches.

    If you are considering marriage, you may do it, may Allah fill your lives with His Bounties and Blessings. But in my opinion, talking to your parents should preferably precede marriage. And Allah Knows Best. This will ensure that your parents are not more hurt with your decisions and will avoid the assumption that you are converting just for marriage.

    However, before marriage, a Muslim is not allowed to keep personal contact with a non relative from the opposite gender. So you must limit your interactions to the Muslim man in question.

    And all the best. May Allah Help you and be with you, always. If you have anymore questions, you can ask.

    Abu Abdul Bari Editor

  2. If anyone has a real desire to be a muslim and has full conviction and strong belief that Islam is the true religion ordained by Allah for all human-being, then, one should pronounce the “shahada”, the testimony of faith, without further delay. Do it right now sister.

    Mohammad, the Prophet of Allah (Peace and blessing of Allah be upon him), said :
    “The superstructure of Islam is raised on five (pillars) : testifying that there is no God (none truly to be worshipped) but Allah, and that Mohammad is the messenger of Allah, performing the prayer, paying the Zakah (poor-due), fasting the month of Ramadan, and performing Hajj.”

    The Shahada can be declared as follows :

    Ash hadu an laa ilaaha il Allaah wa ash Hadu anna Muhammadan abduhu wa Rasooluhu

    The English translation is :

    “I bear witness that there is no deity (none truly to be worshipped) but, Allah, and bear witness that Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) is His slave and Messenger.

    [you can read more on shahadah here inshaAllah -> understand-islam(dot)net/site/index.php?option=com_wrapper&view=wrapper&Itemid=67
    [replace (dot) by . in the link and search in the browser]


    and here is a link for you to learn more about Islam inshaAllah ->

    -> Invitation2Islaam(dot)

    [replace (dot) by . in the link and search in the browser]

    May Allah grant us success! May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet, his family and Companions!

  3. Hi sister,

    Salam, hope you are okay despite of your situation. I think you are at the right age to decide on your own especially for your own good, parents can't tolerate there children's it will just take patience and step by step slowly talk to them about your decision. Pray and believe because nothing is impossible w/ strong faith.
    by the way sister from where are you? and you didn't mentioned what about the guy family are they ready to accept you as well. because for some muslim they have there own cultures to follow, i mean some of them they have to marry same nationality. Mashallah sister that his family are very open when it comes to this matter.

  4. Salaam sis! I converted to Islam few months ago alhamdulillah, and many of what you said made me think of my own situation as well. Emotionally, the hardest part about converting is family. However, I'm glad that you want to take this step, converting to Islam, and do not delay your shahadah and say it as soon as possible.

    I am also 23 years old, and my family also has a strong hold on me because of the culture, where I have to remain at my parents house until I get married and so on... Almost as soon as I started reading and watching lectures about Islam, I knew I had to do it, to say the shahadah, but it took me some days to say it because of my family's reaction, but alhamdulillah I was encouraged to say it, with the advice of not telling my family until I felt ready.

    I don't know your parents, I don't know their character, but if you think that it would put you in a very bad situation, convert but don't tell them yet. You can start by talking to them about Islam, about it's teachings.

    Unlike your family, mine is very christian/catholic and despite that months have gone by, I haven't told them yet that I am muslim. I speak to them about Islam and its teachings, about prophet Muhammad pbuh, and they can only listen to me to a certain degree, and they're still very harsh on Islam, so harsh that many times I end up in my room crying and praying to Allah swt to make the situation better and soften their hearts. And as months go by, I feel the most disconnected from my family, as a stranger in my house. All this and they don't know yet, only Allah knows what will happen when that moment arrives. However, despite everything I face with my family, I don't repent of have converted; I am very grateful to Allah swt, the most merciful, to have led me to Islam, to the right way. I am not telling you to scare you off, only so you know what you might face with your family, but in shaa Allah your family is more accepting and open-minded than mine.

    Don't rush and take it slow, first learn how to pray and the requirements for it. You're not expected to know everything since day 1, take step by step. Try not to get overwhelmed and it is very common to have ups and downs.. Sometimes you may think: Oh! I have so much to remember! What to say before sleeping, what to say after waking up! - But remember that the Holy Quran was revealed over 23 years, not just few weeks. Learn as much as you can about Islam. On YouTube you can find great lectures; I specially like to listen to Yusuf Estes and Ahmed Deedat. Also try to listen Quran recitation as much as you can.

    Now, before getting married, I would advice you to perform Istikhara dua.
    This is a very powerful dua, where you ask Allah swt to guide you to what is good for you in this world and in the hereafter (remember that this life is a trial, and our goal should be to please Allah and go to Jannah), and to take you away from what is bad for you.

    “…But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not.” (2:216)

    Right now maybe you think that this guy is the best ever, that you understand each other very well, and the most important of all, he helped you know about Islam. You probably feel very attached to him. Maybe he's the right guy for you, the one and only; or maybe he was Allah's source to lead you to Islam and then meant to leave.. But well, I know nothing and Allah swt knows best. Please ask your boyfriend/fiance to perform Istikhara too.

    I am very happy that you want to convert, may Allah bless you.
    "And whomsoever Allah wills to guide, He opens his breast to Islam, and whomsoever He wills to send astray, He makes his breast closed and constricted, as if he is climbing up to the sky." [Al-An'aam, 6:125]

    "And they will say: All the praises and thanks be to Allah, Who has guided us to this, never could we have found guidance, were it not that Allah guided us!" [Al-A'araaf, 7:43]

    Sister, we have so much to be grateful about. I hope I was helpful to you. If you have any question feel free to ask me, I still don't know much but I'll try to help you in anything I can, in shaa Allah.

    From your convert sister 🙂

    • Sister "poetry", as-salamu alaykum. Thank you for sharing your story. You are very brave, ma-sha-Allah. How long has it been since you took your shahadah? And do you have other Muslims in your area?

      Wael Editor

      • Walaykum salaam, brother. I took my shahadah 9 months ago. I don't have other Muslims in my area, but I do have Muslim friends. They don't live closed by at all, but alhamdulillah we have technology and I can see them now and then.


    • barakAllahu feek (May Allah bless you).

      one advice from me to you and other reverts is that be strong and learn about Islam from authentic sources.

      Learn about prophet Muhammed(peace be upon him) and follow him.

      Start practicing Islam well. Give your parents their rights. Do not shout at them. Treat them kindly. Obey them in all matters which are not against Islam.

      (we just hear we need to obey our parents but many of us don't know what exactly this means - we need to learn, how were the companions of the prophet Muhammed(sallallahu alahi wasallam) with their parents,how our pious predecessors were with their parents. We will get to learn many things from themResearch on this topic
      For those of who know urdu can listen to this lecture there are two parts of it and this is the first part (its on rights of parents)->

      & a link for you to learn more about Islam inshaAllah.
      abdurrahman(dot)org/ [replace (dot) by . in the link and search in the browser]

      May Allah grant us success! May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet, his family and Companions!

    • Salaam 3aliekum, mashallah your story is amazing. I myself converted to Islam 3 years ago. My family didn't agree but I knew what I wanted was so hard I lost many family due to this. But, I do not regret it. I onlyhpe otit is easy for you Inshallah.

  5. just wanted to say: sorry that u are going through this...conversion is a huge step it is the difference between living in eternal heaven or hell so I encourage u to read the quran and the Bible and ask God through prayer is this religion the right one for you. Secondly even if u convert to islam u will still bring to your marriage a different ....culture...beliefs..values...Concerning parenting...disciplining kids...etc...all of which should be discussed prior to marriage. GOD Bless u and wish u well! ...Christian girl.

    • @christian girl

      We Muslims worship the one and only God - Allah.
      Allah - the God of Adam, Noah,Abraham, Moses, Jesus, Muhammed and other prophets(peace be upon them)

      We Muslims follow Islam. Islam the religion which prophet Jesus(peace be upon him) will follow when he will return back to this earth.

      I ask you too to read the quran.

      here are some links for you.

      quran . com

      Invitation2Islaam.wordpress . com

      May Allah grant us success! May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet, his family and Companions!

      • HEY BROTHER: I Have the Quran here at home...I have attended the Mosque ...because half of my family is I LOVE muslims but I cannot convert because I am a strong Christian and it would break Jesus's heart If I would leave him to follow another faith...but sure I will continue to read the Quran thanks brother!

        • @christian girl


          How will that break Jesus(peace be upon him)'s heart when he himself will follow Islam when he will return to this earth.

          you will find this interesting inshaAllah.

          Read this..
          What are the Muslims’ beliefs concerning the Messiah ‘Eesa ibn Maryam (Jesus the son of Mary – peace be upon him) ?.

          Praise be to Allaah.
          Our beliefs concerning the Messiah ‘Eesa ibn Maryam (Jesus the son of Mary – peace be upon him) are those indicated by the Book of Allaah and the Sunnah of our Messenger Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).

          We believe that ‘Eesa (peace be upon him) was one of the slaves of Allaah, and one of His noble Messengers. Allaah sent him to the Children of Israel to call them to believe in Allaah alone and worship Him alone.

          Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

          “And (remember) when ‘Eesa (Jesus), son of Maryam (Mary), said: ‘O Children of Israel! I am the Messenger of Allaah unto you, confirming the Tawraat [(Torah) which came] before me, and giving glad tidings of a Messenger to come after me, whose name shall be Ahmad.’ But when he (Ahmad, i.e. Muhammad) came to them with clear proofs, they said: ‘This is plain magic’”

          [al-Saff 61:6]

          “But the Messiah [‘Eesa (Jesus)] said: ‘O Children of Israel! Worship Allaah, my Lord and your Lord.’ Verily, whosoever sets up partners (in worship) with Allaah, then Allaah has forbidden Paradise to him, and the Fire will be his abode. And for the Zaalimoon (polytheists and wrongdoers) there are no helpers”

          [al-Maa’idah 5:72]

          ‘Eesa was not a god or the son of God as the Christians claim.

          Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

          “Surely, they have disbelieved who say: ‘Allaah is the Messiah [‘Eesa (Jesus)], son of Maryam (Mary).’”

          [al-Maa’idah 5:72]

          “And the Jews say: ‘Uzair (Ezra) is the son of Allaah, and the Christians say: Messiah is the son of Allaah. That is their saying with their mouths, resembling the saying of those who disbelieved aforetime. Allaah’s Curse be on them, how they are deluded away from the truth!”

          [al-Tawbah 9:30]

          The first words that ‘Eesa spoke when Allaah caused him to speak when he was in the cradle were (interpretation of the meaning):

          “He [‘Eesa (Jesus)] said: ‘Verily, I am a slave of Allaah, He has given me the Scripture and made me a Prophet’”

          [Maryam 19:30]

          We believe that Allaah supported him with miracles that proved he was speaking the truth.

          Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

          “(Remember) when Allaah will say (on the Day of Resurrection). ‘O ‘Eesa (Jesus), son of Maryam (Mary)! Remember My Favour to you and to your mother when I supported you with Rooh‑ul‑Qudus [Jibreel (Gabriel)] so that you spoke to the people in the cradle and in maturity; and when I taught you writing, Al‑Hikmah (the power of understanding), the Tawraat (Torah) and the Injeel (Gospel); and when you made out of the clay, a figure like that of a bird, by My Permission, and you breathed into it, and it became a bird by My Permission, and you healed those born blind, and the lepers by My Permission, and when you brought forth the dead by My Permission; and when I restrained the Children of Israel from you (when they resolved to kill you) as you came unto them with clear proofs, and the disbelievers among them said: This is nothing but evident magic’”

          [al-Maa'idah 5:110]

          We believe that ‘Eesa was born from the Virgin Maryam with no father, and that is not impossible for Allaah Who, when He wills a thing, says “Be!” and it is.

          Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

          “Verily, the likeness of ‘Eesa (Jesus) before Allaah is the likeness of Adam. He created him from dust, then (He) said to him: ‘Be!’ — and he was”

          [Aal ‘Imraan 3:59]

          “(Remember) when the angels said: ‘O Maryam (Mary)! Verily, Allaah gives you the glad tidings of a Word [‘Be!’ — and he was! i.e. ‘Eesa (Jesus) the son of Maryam (Mary)] from Him, his name will be the Messiah ‘Eesa (Jesus), the son of Maryam (Mary), held in honour in this world and in the Hereafter, and will be one of those who are near to Allaah.”

          He will speak to the people, in the cradle and in manhood, and he will be one of the righteous.’

          She said: ‘O my Lord! How shall I have a son when no man has touched me.’ He said: ‘So (it will be) for Allaah creates what He wills. When He has decreed something, He says to it only: “Be!” and it is’”

          [Aal ‘Imraan 3:45-47]

          We believe that he permitted to the Jews some of the things that had been forbidden to them.

          Allaah tells us that ‘Eesa said to the Children of Israel (interpretation of the meaning):

          “And I have come confirming that which was before me of the Tawraat (Torah), and to make lawful to you part of what was forbidden to you, and I have come to you with a proof from your Lord. So fear Allaah and obey me”

          [Aal ‘Imraan 3:50]

          We believe that he did not die and his enemies the Jews did not kill him, rather Allaah saved him from them and raised him up to heaven alive.

          Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

          “And because of their (Jews) disbelief and uttering against Maryam (Mary) a grave false charge (that she has committed illegal sexual intercourse);

          And because of their saying (in boast), ‘We killed Messiah ‘Eesa (Jesus), son of Maryam (Mary), the Messenger of Allaah,’ — but they killed him not, nor crucified him, but it appeared so to them the resemblance of ‘Eesa (Jesus) was put over another man (and they killed that man)], and those who differ therein are full of doubts. They have no (certain) knowledge, they follow nothing but conjecture. For surely; they killed him not [i.e. ‘Eesa (Jesus), son of Maryam (Mary)]:

          But Allaah raised him [‘Eesa (Jesus)] up (with his body and soul) unto Himself (and he is in the heavens). And Allaah is Ever All‑Powerful, All‑Wise”
          [al-Nisa’ 4:156-158]

          We believe that he told his followers of the coming of our Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).

          Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

          “And (remember) when ‘Eesa (Jesus), son of Maryam (Mary), said: ‘O Children of Israel! I am the Messenger of Allaah unto you, confirming the Tawraat [(Torah) which came] before me, and giving glad tidings of a Messenger to come after me, whose name shall be Ahmad.’ But when he (Ahmad, i.e. Muhammad) came to them with clear proofs, they said: ‘This is plain magic’”

          [al-Saff 61:6]

          We believe that he will come back down at the end of time, and will disprove the claim of his enemies the Jews that they killed him, and will disprove the claim of the Christians that he is God or the son of God, and he will not accept anything from them but Islam.

          Al-Bukhaari (2222) and Muslim (155) narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “By the One in Whose hand is my soul, soon the son of Maryam will descend among you [according to another report: the Hour will not begin until the son of Maryam descends among you] as a just judge. He will break the cross, kill the pigs and abolish the jizyah, and money will become abundant until no one will accept it.”

          “Soon” means it will inevitably happen quickly.

          “will descend among you” means among this ummah(community or nation).

          “A just judge” means that he will come down and rule according to this sharee’ah (divine law), and that this sharee’ah will remain and not be abrogated, rather ‘Eesa will be one of the rulers of this ummah.

          “He will break the cross and kill the pigs” means he will declare as false the religion of the Christians by breaking the cross in a real sense and proving false the Christians’ claims and veneration of the cross.

          “and he will abolish the jizyah”:

          al-Nawawi said:

          The correct view concerning this is that he will not accept it, and he will not accept anything from the kaafirs disbelievers but Islam. If any of them offer the jizyah that will not make him stop fighting them. Rather he will not accept anything but Islam or death. This is the view of Imam Abu Sulaymaan al-Khattaabi and other scholars (may Allaah have mercy on them).

          End quote.

          “Money will become abundant” – the reason for this abundance will be the descent of blessings and the spread of goodness because of justice and the absence of oppression or wrongdoing. At that time the earth will bring forth its treasures, and desire to keep money will decrease because they will know that that Hour is at hand.

          Then he will die and the Muslims will offer the funeral prayer for him and bury him.

          Ahmad (9349) narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “I am the closest of people to ‘Eesa ibn Maryam because there was no Prophet between him and me…” Then he mentioned his descent at the end of time. Then he said: “And he will remain for as long as Allaah wills he should remain, then he will die and the Muslims will offer the funeral prayer for him and bury him.” Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah (2182).

          We believe that he will disavow himself on the Day of Resurrection of the claims that he was a god.

          Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

          “And (remember) when Allaah will say (on the Day of Resurrection): 'O ‘Eesa (Jesus), son of Maryam (Mary)! Did you say unto men: Worship me and my mother as two gods besides Allaah?’ He will say: ‘Glory be to You! It was not for me to say what I had no right (to say). Had I said such a thing, You would surely have known it. You know what is in my inner‑self though I do not know what is in Yours; truly, You, only You, are the All‑Knower of all that is hidden (and unseen).

          Never did I say to them aught except what You (Allaah) did command me to say: Worship Allaah, my Lord and your Lord. And I was a witness over them while I dwelt amongst them, but when You took me up, You were the Watcher over them; and You are a Witness to all things’”

          [al-Maa'idah 5:116-117]

          This is what the Muslims believe about the Messiah ‘Eesa ibn Maryam (peace be upon him).

          Al-Bukhaari (3435) and Muslim (28) narrated from ‘Ubaadah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever bears witness that there is no god but Allaah alone, with no partner or associate, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger, and that ‘Eesa is His slave and Messenger, a word which Allaah bestowed upon Maryam and a spirit created by Him, and that Paradise is real, and Hell is real, Allaah will admit him through whichever of the eight gates of Paradise he wishes.”

          We ask Allaah to make us steadfast in faith and to cause us to die as believers.

          If you have any doubts please feel free to ask.
          May Allah grant us success! May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet, his family and Companions!

          • Greetings christiangirl,

            It seems you didn't read the whole Quran, you said Allah does not love christians or jews, whereas in the Quran Allah said,

            "Surely those who believe, and those who are Jews, and the Christians, and the Sabians -- whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day and does good, they shall have their reward from their Lord. And there will be no fear for them, nor shall they grieve" (Quran 2:62).

            "O you who believe! Be helpers of God -- as Jesus the son of Mary said to the Disciples, 'Who will be my helpers in (the work of) God?' Said the disciples, 'We are God's helpers!' Then a portion of the Children of Israel believed, and a portion disbelieved. But We gave power to those who believed, against their enemies, and they became the ones that prevailed" (Quran 61:14).


            Same basic principle in Islam.


            so that means should we say, 'God bless Adolf Hitler' ? Or 'God bless Obama/Bush/zionist' ? Or 'God bless rapists/drug dealers' ?, lets say, someone break into your apartment, did horrible things and stole your property, do you give him more of whats left (give other cheek-bible) and say God bless ?. How about satan ? Do you love satan because for sure, he's an enemy. 'God bless satan' ?

            The problem is not with human, the problem is in the altered/changed bible. It has many contradictions and unimaginable verses.

            In one part of the bible it says ' love your enemies etc' in other part it says 'kill your enemies', in other part 'hate your family if you love jesus', in other part it says ' kill women and children', in other part it says 'kill even animals' etc. Indeed full of contradictions. Where is the 'love and compassion' ??


            “bring those enemies of mine who did not want me to be king over them, bring them here and kill them in front of me.” (Luke 19:27)

            I thought it says 'love your enemies and do good'.

            “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother , his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life— he cannot be my disciple .” (Luke 14:26)

            Again, so much for 'love your enemy and hate your family' ?

            Now go, attack the Amalekites and totally destroy everything that belongs to them. Do not spare them; put to death men and women, children and infants, cattle and sheep, camels and donkeys.' (1 samuel 15:3)

            even animals are not spared pffft

            Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword . For I have come to turn a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law - a man's enemies will be the members of his own household.” (Matthew 10: 34-36)

            why destory family ?

            So the assembly sent twelve thousand fighting men with instructions to go to Jabesh Gilead and put to the sword those living there, including the women and children. "This is what you are to do," they said. "Kill every male and every woman who is not a virgin." (numbers)

            so sad. What did the children do ?

            I can go on, but will stop here. Christiangirl, thats the bible's "greatest commandment" (love your enemy, love your neighbour, destroy your family, kill women, children and animals etc) ? How does one blindly follow a religion ?

            I read most of the bible from my own uncle who is a christian, and I couldn't find any sense in most of the parts I read. In some parts, I felt like I was reading the x-rated verses which talks about xxx. Many contradictions etc. The main one which shook me most was when God in the bible 'rested' on the 6th day of creation.

        • @sister christian girl

          Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

          Say, "He is Allah , [who is] One,

          "Allah-us-Samad (The Self-Sufficient Master, Whom all creatures need, He neither eats nor drinks).

          He neither begets nor is born,

          "And there is none co-equal or comparable unto Him."

          [ Quran Surah Al-'Ikhlāş ]

          GOD is not like us.
          HE has no father, mother, brother, sister or son.
          stop comparing GOD with humans.
          HE is not like us.
          There is no one like HIM.

          Jesus(peace be upon him) is not the son of Allah.
          Jesus(peace be upon him) is one of the prophet of Allah who came to teach people to worship Allah alone and not to associate any partners with HIM in worship.
          May prophets(peace be upon them) before Jesus(peace be upon him) came with the same message to worship Allah alone.

          I am sorry i cannot have a private chat with you to discuss on this issue as I fear I may fall into sin.

          Muhammed (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “No man is alone with a woman but the Shaytaan(Satan) is the third one present.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi

          May Allah grant us success! May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet, his family and Companions!

  6. My friend ...u are awesome in ur expertise on Islam! but let me help u understand christianity : we believe in one God who manifested himself in three different distinct ways: Son and as the Holy Spirit....We do Not believe that God begets anyone sexually this is blashphemy.We give him the highest praise by not trying to expain the trinity...and by saying there is NONE like him in heaven or on Earth!..But let me explain to you just so that u can understand why ....He manifested himself this way ....or why christians believe this...Okay if u are a teacher and u love ur students...u do whatever it takes to help them learn and understand the material...u show videos... write on the chalkboard...have them read books...bring in tutors...have them work in groups......No man can see God so the Bible says: For God so LOVED the world that He gave His only begotten SON that whosoever believeth in him shall Not die but have everlasting life..John 3:16...So he sent his beat representative to be an example and to TEACH people about God.....the third way God shows his love is through the Holy Spirit....this element is inside every Christian...the Bible says tht...GOD DECIDED that his people still needed help so He says...I will not LEAVE you as orphans but I shal send you the H.S and it will lead and guide you in my truth. The H.S is a gift from God is an innate spirt that is in us it reminds uz daily to follow God....warns us of danger ...and comforts us...Again the Christian God tries hard to establish a RELATIONSHIP with us because He LOVES us...He is self-sufficient ...He does Not need us....We need this is how He brings us into the knowledge of him.....

    Secondly...muslims say we worship Allah...worship HIM alone..he has no partners...but let me assure u that muslims worship Muhammed just as Christians love Jesus...To worship means to give a high amount of respect....muslim eat like Muhammed...pray like him...dress like him..thy even follow the way he used his toileting methods and He was a conceptually he is adored and worshipped...the Quran even warns those who do Not believe in Allah and His Apostle...who is that Muhammad....I hope this helps.

    • Christian Girl,

      You are wrong in saying Muslims worship Muhammad peace be upon him, just like Christians worship Jesus peace be upon him. To love is not worship; to adore and follow is not worship. Worship is worship. Muhammad was a human just like Jesus was human. Both were born to humans and they worshipped Allah. They called people to obey them and worship Allah.

      Allah Said:

      And [beware the Day] when Allah will say, "O Jesus, Son of Mary, did you say to the people, 'Take me and my mother as deities besides Allah ?'" He will say, "Exalted are You! It was not for me to say that to which I have no right. If I had said it, You would have known it. You know what is within myself, and I do not know what is within Yourself. Indeed, it is You who is Knower of the unseen. I said not to them except what You commanded me - to worship Allah , my Lord and your Lord. And I was a witness over them as long as I was among them; but when You took me up, You were the Observer over them, and You are, over all things, Witness. If You should punish them - indeed they are Your servants; but if You forgive them - indeed it is You who is the Exalted in Might, the Wise.
      Allah will say, "This is the Day when the truthful will benefit from their truthfulness." For them are gardens [in Paradise] beneath which rivers flow, wherein they will abide forever, Allah being pleased with them, and they with Him. That is the great attainment. (Surah al Maidah)

      We do not raise the Messengers from their positions that they are no more than servants of Allah, chosen among others to deliver Allah's Message. We follow Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him, because Allah Said:

      There has certainly been for you in the Messenger of Allah an excellent pattern for anyone whose hope is in Allah and the Last Day and [who] remembers Allah often. (Surah al Ahzaab)

      He also Said:

      And whatever the Messenger has given you - take; and what he has forbidden you - refrain from. And fear Allah ; indeed, Allah is severe in penalty. (Surah al Hashr)

      The difference was that the Christians raised Jesus peace be upon him from his position, until they made him equal to Allah Himself, and Ptophet Muhammad peace be upon him has warned us against such a thing concerning him.

      Regarding the fals claim on Jesus being Allah's son, Allah Said:

      They have certainly disbelieved who say that Allah is Christ, the son of Mary. Say, "Then who could prevent Allah at all if He had intended to destroy Christ, the son of Mary, or his mother or everyone on the earth?" And to Allah belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth and whatever is between them. He creates what He wills, and Allah is over all things competent (Surat al Maidah)

      He also Said:

      They have said, " Allah has taken a son." Exalted is He; He is the [one] Free of need. To Him belongs whatever is in the heavens and whatever is in the earth. You have no authority for this [claim]. Do you say about Allah that which you do not know? (Surah Yunus)

      They say, " Allah has taken a son." Exalted is He! Rather, to Him belongs whatever is in the heavens and the earth. All are devoutly obedient to Him, ( Surah al Baqarah)

      Jesus was a Messener just like Muhammad is. Peace be upon them. But the people of Jesus raised him from his position to be a part of trinity and equal to Allah.

      I invite you to recognize Jesus as he recognized himself and accept Muhammad as your guide, who is the Messenger of this day like Jesus was before him. The term of Jesus has ended and he shall follow the law given to Muhammad when he returns before the Judgement day.

      Abu Abdul Bari Editor

    • Good you brought that verse up (John 3:16), now let me explain this verse,

      "For God so LOVED the world that He gave His only begotten SON that whosoever believeth in him shall Not die but have everlasting life.." (John 3:16)

      This makes us wonder, what kind of 'love' does the bible preach. It seems as 'hate disguised in love'. As I said earlier, whenever bible talks about 'love', it contradicts itself by talking about 'hate and kill' those you 'love'. Similarly, this verse (John 3:16) talks about god's son who he loves, yet he kills him according to bible. I mean, who kills their own son because of 'love' ?, earlier I said, jesus in the bible ordered to kill women and children who are innocent and in this verse (john 3:16), god of the bible killed his innocent "son jesus" for the sins he never committed ?. That surely is an unfair god. ? Surely god should love his 'son' equal to or more than he loves others. Does he loves sinners and murderers too ? Furthermore, so if jesus died for 'the sins of the world', and he taught a way of salvation, then why should the christians stop commiting evil, fornication, rape, murder etc when they can just say, god forgave me, jesus died etc.
      This verse (john 3:16) also shows that the god in the bible is not all powerful, not all forgiving etc because he is unable to forgive people without (blood sacrifice) killing "his own son" or anyone and that too innocent one.

      Would you kill your son or daughter or mother etc for the crimes others committed ? That makes no sense mate.

      But then the bible contradicted itself when the god of the bible said “The person who sins is the one who will die. The child will not be punished for the parent’s sins, and the parent will not be punished for the child’s sins. Righteous people will be rewarded for their own righteous behavior, and wicked people will be punished for their own wickedness. But if wicked people turn away from all their sins and begin to obey my decrees and do what is just and right, they will surely live and not die. All their past sins will be forgotten, and they will live because of the righteous things they have done.” (Ezekiel 18: 20-22)

      so from the above verse, we see that there is no inherited sins but other verses in bible teach inherited sins. So sad because god of the bible said "for I am the Lord, I do not change" (malachi 3)

      then who changed, surely God doesn't change but its the people who changed the bible with their own hand and Islam came to testify it and correct it.

      And about the concept of 'son of god', according to the bible, son means servant/slave. According to bible, jesus is not only the son of god because there are other sons too, therefore again contradicting,

      “…Adam, which was the son of God.” (Luke 3:38)

      “That the sons of God saw the daughters of men, that they were fair….” (Genesis 6:2)

      “…Israel is my son, even my firstborn”. (Exodus 4:22)

      Angels are the son of god (Job 38:7).

      Righteous Persons are the sons of god (Wisdom of Solomon 2:15)

      Kings of Israel are the sons of god (2 Samuel 7:14)

      Solomon is the son of god (2 Samuel 7:13-14)

      amazingly, Satan is also the son of god (Job 2.1).

      You may argue that, but jesus is the 'only begotten son of god' according to john 3:16, well, as I said earlier, bible mostly contradicts itself and so god in the bible have another begotten son,

      David said “…the LORD hath said unto me, ‘you are my son; this day have I begotten you.’” ( Psalms 2: 7)

      really confusing huh ? Truth has to be said, the bible we have now isn't from god as Allah said (meaning) 'if a book is not issued by God, they would surely have found in it many an inner contradiction!' (Quran An Nisa)

      Learn about Islam with an open mind and hopefully you get the truth.

  7. I'm declaring the Muslim-Christian debate over at this point, as it has nothing to do with the original post. The poster has already decided to convert to Islam, alhamdulillah. Her question was about the best way to tell her family.

    "christian girl", I allowed your first few posts on this website because it seemed that you were here to advise people sincerely, not to push Christian beliefs or try to convert people. I see that was a mistake and I am placing you on moderated status.

    Wael Editor

  8. @ wael...if you feel the need to delete me..or put moderation status because I said that God loves us...thats terms of my sincerity only God can judge my heart and my level of sincerity not man....Im sorry
    that u feel I am trying to convert others.....but I can assure u that was not my intention.
    ...Christianity is NOT for everyone...the Bible says brother Many are called but only a Few are chosen to be we cannot convert people....God has to call them to Christianity not me.......I simply answered the questions that were presented to me.....,by your brothers and sisters inIslam....sending u blessings brother....christian girl......smiles.

    • May the Lord of the worlds bring you out from darkness. ameen

    • Alhamdulillah some good replies by علي بن عبد الله آل الشيخ‎. Think over them.

      May Allah grant us success! May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet, his family and Companions!

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