Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Christian woman marrying a Muslim man, role and duties of husband and wife

Christian/Muslim Marriages

Christian - Muslim marriage.

Hi,

I am an american christian and have been dating a muslim man hes from egypt. he recently started talking about marriage and what he is looking for in a wife.

i am american and he may loose his visa and have to leave the country. he is in the process of divorcing his wife because she was doing things with another man. since i met him our relationship has been very serious. he started talking about marriage and what he wants in a wife on the second date. i have strong feelings for him and think maybe we would be a good married couple. my friends and family are strongly against this. so i have no one to talk to about anything really.

he says sometime he will take me to the mosque and let me ask questions that i have about islam as i have quite a few but i have to ask him first and he can set an appointment. i dont know if i should stop listening to my friends and family who have written him off before even meeting him...

should i move as quickly as he wants and get married so soon? i believe what i have learned so far about islam to be GODS truth but i dont understand a lot of rules. he says it is something we can work on after we r married.

if i marry him do i have to convert to islam? i am not against it but dont know much about the religion and beliefs. what are your teachings on the roles and duties of a husband and wife? most everything i can find online is only biased christian articles. i want the opinions and beliefs from the source.

thank you for your help and i appreciate your guidance on this matter.

dacia

(Editor's Note: I noticed that dacia had a second pending post, so I combined it with this one after this was already published. The first four of you who commented had not seen this expanded post when you wrote your comments. I don't know if it makes a difference. - Wael, IslamicAnswers.com Editor).

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6 Responses »

  1. Hello Dacia,

    I appreciate your intention to learn before you can take it up, which is quite sensible. Otherwise, in the name of love, people play the conversion game which is just "conversion" by tongue and not heart.

    First of all, you need to know that Muslims Worship the same God as Christians. They call Him Father, while we call Him Allah. But the difference comes to where Jesus Peace be upon him is concerned.

    Christians call him a son of Allah, while Allah Says that He Never Has a son. He Says about Himself:

    (Surah al Ikhlas - Purity)

    1. Say (O Muhammad (Peace be upon him )): "He is Allah, (the) One.
    2. "Allah-us-Samad (The Self-Sufficient Master, Whom all creatures need, He neither eats nor drinks).
    3. "He begets not, nor was He begotten;
    4. "And there is none co-equal or comparable unto Him."

    This Is The Perfect Lord. You will need to affirm your faith in this Lord, that He Is Alone and The Only One Worthy of Worship, without any partner, without any son or daughter, without the requirement of any support, He Is The Self Sufficient Master: to be called a Muslim.

    You should also believe in Muhammad Peace be upon him as Allah's Final Messenger, who came with the Message of truth, the Quran.

    If you have a question about what Muslims believe about Jesus Peace be upon him, know that they believe he was one of the mightiest Messengers of Allah, who came with the Gospel and asked people to Worship One Allah and never asked people to worship him or his mother.

    This was about the basic belief. Now lets talk a little about the Pillars of Islam, and the Pillars of Faith.
    You need not worry if you find any of it difficult. You can gradually adopt each of them. But initially, the basic belief should be that there is none worthy of Worship but Allah and Muhammad Peace be upon him is His Final Messenger. This is the first pillar of Islam.

    The second pillar is 5 daily prayers. You can gradually begin praying with time and learn how to do so. If you need help in this, you can write to us when you reach the stage when you are ready for it.

    The third pillar of Islam is compulsory charity, which is 2.5% of savings when one year has passed over it (every year). You may need to learn about its conditions, but for now, just know that it is one of the pillars.

    The fourth pillar is the fasting of the month of Ramadan.

    The fifth pillar is pilgrimage to Makkah known as Hajj, for those who can afford to go.

    This was about Islam. Faith/Belief or Eeman has 6 Pillars.

    The first is belief in Allah as The Only God Worthy of Worship. The second is belief in Angels. The third is His Books, that He Revealed the Torah, Gospel, the Quran and others, and that Quran is the Final Revelation, applicable to the mankind today. The fourth pillar is belief in the Messengers sent by Allah, and that Muhammad Peace be upon him is the final Messenger. The sixth pillar is belief in Divine Predecree, the good and the bad of it.

    All of this are in themselves a subject of study. I have just attempted to give a short summary for your immediate understanding. If you need clarification on any, please write back. I'll be more than happy to help.

    Further, I suggest you to get a copy of the Quran and read its translation to discover its miracle yourself. You can access an online copy here:

    http://www.dar-us-salam.com/TheNobleQuran/

    Also read the biography of the Prophet Muhammad Peace bd upon him in order to see how great a person he was. You can read it here:

    http://sabr.com/downloads/category/4-seerah?download=8%3Aar-raheeq-ul-makhtoom

    Should you have any query, please revert to us.

    I pray that Allah Guides you to the Most Correct Way and takes you in His Mercy.

    Muhammad Waseem
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  2. Dacia,

    This is my opinion only, I am not an Islamic scholar.

    One of the reasons that Muslim men are allowed to marry Christian (or Jewish) woman, is because the Islamic faith is the realization and correction for the miscommunications from Allah (God) to we people of the earth. As a former Christian, I found Islam was the missing piece and the completion and the missing answers to questions that always were with me as a Christian. I think you should seriously study the Qu'ran and Hadiths, and I think you will find that Allah will guide to you submission to His will. Also, In the early days of Islam, there were many Christians and fewer available Muslim woman as wives. As a matter of practicality, it was a way to allow true pious Muslim men to marry, and as part of their marriage, allow Allah to guide them to Islam.

    To answer some of your questions, let me also give you my view of the role of husband and wife in Islam.

    Here is a story that a friend of mine told me and illustrates my view.

    My friend was flying on a plane, sitting next to a western man.

    During the flight, he took time to pray and to read the Qu'ran. The western man said, in quite an indigent manner, "You Muslims repress women. You make them wear ridiculous clothing to cover themselves."

    My friend did not respond except to say that it was his opinion that Muslims respect woman more than western men, and that they did not repress them. The man rolled his eyes and laughed.

    Later in the flight, the western man purchased a beverage from the flight attendant. As he placed his wallet back into his pocket, my friend said "You of the west repress money."

    The western man was confused. "Why do you say that?" he asked.

    "Well, you cover it up and keep it hidden. You repress it." my friend said.

    The western man said, "That is ridiculous. I only keep it in my wallet to keep it safe. It is very valuable. I must protect it."

    My friend said "Exactly. And I'm sure you, like me, value you wife even more than your money."

    Truly pious Muslim men do not repress their women. They support them, lead them, cherish them, and thank Allah that they are blessed with a wonderful wife. They support women leading fulfilling lives.

    Allah, in his infinite wisdom, has provided guidance to us in how women and men should interact, and how to keep women and men from falling into sin. If you look at the rates of divorce and adultery in the west, you will see that this guidance is needed. Allah knows that Shaytaan (Satan) can tempt us, so he gives us ways to reduce these temptations, keep us away from sin.

    Inter-faith relationships can be challenging. They are difficult. Please do not take this lightly. The fact that you asked about this is very good. Please open your heart and mind, and allow yourself to be guided by Allah. He is the God of Adam and Eve, Moses, Abraham, and Jesus. He will speak to you. Be still and listen. You will not regret it.

    AmericanMuslim
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor.

  3. Hi

    The shortest answer to your question is that a husband is responsible for the wife's wellbeing (emotionally, financially, spiritually) and the wife is responsible for pretty much the same (except for the financial bit). They're both to be each other's guardian and passage to heaven (by treating each other and others well). The man is to oversee his wife and children's religious practises and enforce this through his example.

    I'm not sure how, if any, this differs when ppl from 2 different religions marry.

  4. Salaams,

    I have to point out that there are a couple of quick concerns that came to my mind as I read your question. This Egyptian brother is comfortable enough to approach you about the need for marriage, but I wonder how come he is not taking the initiative to discuss with you what that type of marriage would look like? In my mind, I have to wonder if perhaps he does not even know the rights and duties of husbands and wives in an Islamic marriage (interfaith or otherwise), and if that's the case that's a huge concern. A man should always be ready to lead his new wife toward truth, and how can he do so if he doesn't know it? Quite honestly these are discussions he should already be having openly with you--outlining what expectations would be upon you and he both, and talking about the rights you both will have over each other.

    When I married my second husband, he was already a Muslim and I was still a Christian. When he approached me for marriage, he took time to talk about what his obligations would be toward him, as well as what his would be toward me. He wanted to make sure I understood everything clearly so I could make an informed decision as to whether I really wanted to enter a marriage under those parameters. Of course he wanted me to convert, but he knew I would want to know what my rights were to practice my faith if I chose not to, and he took the time to educate me on that as well. I can't help that every Muslim man should be doing thesame when he takes a non-Muslim wife.

    -Amy
    IslamicAnsowers.com Editor

  5. Hi...I am in the process of relationship with a Muslim I am American Christian,We love each other very much we think but i want to go visit him n Kashmir..India,,as soon as i get my pass port,to see if we are compatible and can make it ...for sure ...for awhile to get to know each other.In meanwhile ..he has a wife..and says he can legally have another...i just don;t know if it will work out ..as the situation stands. WHAT WOULD BE EXPECTED OF Me WHILE THERE ? would I meet his wife and family ? Do they associate WITH ME ? what about living combinations and would i be responsible for my own charges ??
    thanks ,,,xx ,3 😉

    • Nell, I do think you need some advice. I'd like you to please log in and write your question as a separate post, and give us more details about the situation. For example, do his parents know about you? Does the other wife know? Are you intending to live in Kashmir permanently?

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

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