Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Clear Islamic ruling on oral sex between husband and wife

wedding night bed

My husband forces me to do oral sex with him. When all this started couple of years ago, I refused to do that but he gets angry on me and not only he separated his bed, he stop talking to me as well.  When I tried to confront him with this as “haram” act, he challenges me to find any authenticate narration in support of my argument which I failed to find. All I was able to find oral sex as “makroh” at worst and thing which is prohibited is to tastes the discharge coming out. To confront this argument, he started using condoms but did not stop the practice.  I had the argument once again with him around a month ago and this time his response was harsh, he said if I don’t want to please me, he does not want to keep me. In other words, not directly but he threaten me with divorce. My hesitation with this act is more from religious standing. I pray and fast and practice Islam in my daily life.

I have read multiple boards on the issue but none of them gives a clear answer. I am more confuse then enlighten on the issue. Some of them talk about morality and some of then talk from hygiene perspective but no clear answer from Islamic point of view. Please ease my situation and answer me in black and white about the ruling on oral sex. In my situation, should I seek the separation/divorce if my husband keeps insisting me in engaging oral sex or I am over stressing myself on an act which is permissible between husband and wife?

Regards

SR


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240 Responses »

  1. Assalamualaikum sister,

    The truth is that there is no black or white in this issue. It is grey.

    Some scholars say it is prohibited, such as Shaikh Albani Rahimahullah (check this: http://www.fatwa-online.com/fataawa/marriage/sexualrelations/sre003/0091016.htm)

    Shaikh Ubayd al Jabiree (check this: http://www.fatwa-online.com/fataawa/marriage/sexualrelations/sre003/0090814.htm)

    While Shaikh Abdullah bin Munee' says that it is disliked (check this: http://www.fatwa-online.com/fataawa/marriage/sexualrelations/sre003/0030726.htm)

    I can not say whether you should part from him or you should agree being oppressed and allow him to do whatever he likes.

    What is immoral is immoral. When he challenges you to bring proof that it is Haraam, ask him to bring proof that it is not.

    You won't find a Hadith on this issue, because this was not known in the time of Rasoolullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam. As Shaikh Ubayd says in one of the fataawa above, it has been adopted from the pornographic content. Otherwise, it is not known to be something moral and upright.

    Yes, obeying your husband is your prime duty. Obeying him when he wants to have a relation with you is obligatory. But oral sex is not the one mentioned in that Hadith. You are not obliged to obey him in this.

    So, see what the result is, and take your decision with trust in Allah, solely for the sake of Allah. In sha Allah, then, you will find Allah's Help in whatever you choose, even if you have to part from him and seek divorce.

    May Allah Give you strength to overcome this problem
    Aameen

    Wassalamualaikum

    Muhammad Waseem
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • I never told her to seek divorce and I never intend breaking the home of a Muslim, may Allah Forbid. I said whatever she has to do, she should do it for Allah's Sake. Here, the question is of oppression also. And what I mentioned was my opinion, having nothing to do with me being an editor or not.

      Allah knows what I intended and no one else needs to judge whether I am a Muslim or not.

      Muhammad Waseem
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • I deleted ReadyforDeath's comment. I have no problem with disagreement, but I don't tolerate anyone insulting the Editors of this website.

        Wael
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • You should know that it is not permissible for you to force your wife to do anything repulsive or that may cause impurity (najaasah) to enter the stomach, and you should have intercourse with her in a natural manner. Your wife should know that it is not permissible for her to forsake her husband’s bed when he calls her to do something that is permitted in Islam and to fulfil one of his rights, which is to enjoy her in the manner that Allaah has permitted. It is not permissible for a wife to refuse to share her husband’s bed without a legitimate shar’i excuse, such as when she is menstruating or bleeding following childbirth. A stern warning is issued to the wife who refuses to share her husband’s bed, and there are many ahaadeeth concerning that. It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘When a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses, and he spends the night angry with her, the angels will curse her until morning comes.’” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, Bid’ al-Khalq, 2998)

        It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: “The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘If a woman spends the night having forsaken her husband’s bed, the angels will curse her until she goes back.’” (narrated by al-Bukhaari, al-Nikaah, 4795)

        And it was narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘By the One in Whose hand is my soul, there is no one who would be pleased with her.’” (Narrated by Muslim, al-Nikaah, 2595).

        It was narrated that Talq ibn ‘Ali said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘When a man calls his wife to him, then let her respond, even if she is at the oven (baking bread).’” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1080, classed as saheeh by al-Albaani, no. 927, in Saheeh Sunan al-Tirmidhi).

        • That doesn't help at all. What she askwd was totally different instead of showing her what islam has said about a wife's right in bed you just started listing a husband's rights in bed which is off the topic and even confused me rather than clearing our problems.
          Very confused :/

          • I think it’s not halal. Becouze it clear in Quran or Hadith right now I can’t quot exect verse of Quran or Hadith but I red that husband and wife Shuld not stand Bare in front of each other like donkeys.
            For detail shuld contect to Allam e Dine. May Allah forgive us. Plz first concern to Quran then Hadith u will definitely fine directions of Halal and Haram. We should give Islamic knowledge to our kids so that they can pass a good human life instead of living like animals.

      • I want to know if one's wife like to have anal sex and feel pleasure with it then what should do y man?

        • Would you disobey Allah to please your wife? There is no good on this. In fact, a man should ask her to fear Allah if she demands this. Finding pleasure in it is the deception of Shaitan. He makes things seem beautiful which in reality are not.

          Abu Abdul Bari
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

        • remember Hazrat loot Alyeaslam result?Anal sex is totally haram.
          AIDS and other dangerous diseases with anal sex women and men.
          Enjoy healthy sex as permitted in Islam.

          • Uhh, since we talk about sex between husband and wife, the idea of AIDS comming from anal sex is kind of dumb. If one has aids, you will get it from any kind of sex, not just anal...

          • Partially true. The AIDS virus is more readily transmitted anally than vaginally.

            Wael
            IslamicAnswers.com Editor

          • Anal sex is haram.
            But yes the argument about aids is dumb.

            But it is true that its alot higher risk to get transmitted risk of aids/hiv if does anal sex compared to normal sex.
            The reason for that is simply because there is no real natural lunrications in anus, so when people practice anal sex it is alot higher risk of creating small rifts in the anus walls, leading it to much easier transmitting the aids/hiv virus if the other one is infected.

            During normal vaginal intercourse it is alot less chance. And many who have aids/hiv virus dont spread it each time they have vaginal sex (its not anywhere near 100% risk of getting infected even though the other person is infected). But it is like playing russian roulett with a gun. After a few rounds you will get infected.

            But as long as people are good muslims, then its almost impossible to get infected (as long as both spouses are good muslims, no rapes, no accidents at hospital, no external spreadings (mosquitos/flies i guess can in theory also spread certain viruses).

        • I would consider yourself a very lucky man, as most women don't enjoy this, and even more muslim women won't consider it. You are very lucky, enjoy her and allow her to enjoy you, and what you to do in your bedroom is No-One else's business but yours....

    • Salamunalaikum,

      Waseem

      Please explain the following:

      1. What is immoral in what you wrote above and who has prescribed it as immoral?
      2. Do you also mean to say that everything that someone dislikes is haram unless proven halal? may i know what sharia reference quotes that? as your implication there will entice an argument between a husband and a wife (please think of the repercussions before you blurt out anything which has nothing to do with Islam and is purely your own opinion (in this case this is highly stereotypical based on whatever the world says!)
      3. Please quote the reference from Quran or Hadith which states sperm is "filthy"? if it is filthy, why is it allowed to have sex with the second wife without even washing up? (its recommended to clean up - yes but not mandated.

      Read her post - she isn't oppressed, she is conflicted between her husbands desires and her Islamic duty.

      Finally i have a question of my own - what if both husband and wife enjoy it

      Also please bear in mind that oral sex was not unheard of in the time of our Prophet PBUH. All kinds of sexual and moral profanities existed in the time of Prophet PBUH's and the Rashidun Khilafat time - yet we do not find any proof from either eras which explicitly forbids oral sex or even masturbation (both have been big issues of debates).

      My advice to the sister is not to heed to any whims and opinions do your research from the Quran first and then the Sahih Hadith - inshaAllah you will find the answer.

      regards,
      Saqib

      • Salam
        In the Qur'an there is a verse that speaks about the development of the human embryo and it describes
        Sperm as disliked fluid.
        Correct me if I'm wrong
        Allah knows best 🙂

    • It should be haram, because if this act is taken from watching porn then it should be haram, because porn is haram, watching other people have sex is haram in islam. and learning things from porn takes the human nature to do nasty non islamic things, such as anal sex even if it is haram people do want to practice it with there wives due to watching porn. and about oral sex it should be haram because penis is dirty, it goes in the vigina which is not clean it smells bad and these two things vigina and penis are the body organs where people urinate from.

      why would your put something in the mouth which is dirty...

      first of all, discharge is haram to be taken in the mouth, ALLAH has made a place for the discharge to go in and the discharge has a purpose. the place is called vigina, and purpose is to have kids, and when the discharge goes in the mouth you can't have kids and when the discharge (sperm) goes into vigina ALLAH blesses people with kids.

      secondly we talk, eat, read Quran, and namaz and say prayers with our respected mouth, why would we make is wrong forbidden move by drinking sperm or putting a penis in the mouth from which someone pees from...????

      it is logic ... if porn is haram, then oral sex is haram.
      if the discharge is made for vigina then it used be placed only in vigina..
      why make your pious moth dirty from which prayers come from..

      vigina is for penis.
      lips are to kiss, lips, hands are to hold hands, eyes are to look, etc...

      hope this helps..
      P.S if oral sex was not practiced when the prophet was alive, then it was not practiced by the prophet or his followers, and if it was practiced it would be mentioned. jazakallah
      anna

      • Assalam Alaikum

        Kindly do not make Qias based upon your assumptions. Read the comments below. All of your concerns have been answered. I do not wish to retype it all here.

        There is a defined principle for making Qias to derive Hukm. The daleel for Qias needs to be defined from sources of Shariah.

        Making Qias based upon your desires or thoughts or opinions will lead you to wrong conclusions and it will ultimately lead you to haram!

        Kindly take some time and read other comments.

        Regards,
        Abdullah

      • "it is logic ... if porn is haram, then oral sex is haram."

        That is not logical at all. Sexual pleasure has existed since the beginning of time, long before the advent of magazines, photos or the internet.

        Also, the deen does not go by your personal logic. You say that we recite Quran and eat with our mouths, therefore we cannot do "dirty things" with them. But we also hold Quran with our hands, don't we? By your logic we must not touch one another's privates with our hands either, nor should we use our hands to - for example - clean the toilet, or perform any "dirty" task.

        Lastly, sex between husband and wife is not only for procreation. It is also for pleasure. So they are allowed to do the things that please them, as long as these things have not been specifically prohibited in Islam.

        If you have a concept of sexuality as being something dirty and shameful, that is your own viewpoint. However, Islam considers lovemaking between husband and wife to be a blessed and good thing. If you don't like something don't do it, but do not try to make something haram based on your own feelings.

        Wael
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

        • Married Couple Watching Pornography
          Mufti : Sheikh Ahmad Kutty

          Question :
          Does Islam permit a Muslim to practice oral sex of any kind, and watch pornographic movies with one's legally married spouse? Could you please enlighten me on this question. I just got married and would like to know if it is okay to engage in the above practices as a Muslim.

          Reply :
          All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

          Dear questioner, thanks for your important question and we implore Allah to guide us all to satisfy our desires in a halal way that pleases Allah.

          Watching pornographic movies is prohibited in Islam whether one watches them alone or with one’s wife to stimulate desire. As for oral sex between the husband and wife, most Muslim scholars see that it is a detestable act that doesn’t reach the category of that which is prohibited. However, some of them state that if it is scientifically proven that practicing oral sex causes mouth cancer then it becomes totally prohibited.

          Responding to the question, Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, states the following:

          Watching pornographic movies, whether done individually or with one’s marriage partner, is definitely detestable to Islamic sense of ethics and morality, and, therefore, considered haram (forbidden) in Islam. Oral sex between marriage partners, however, cannot be considered haram so long as it is done consensually—and provided the actual intercourse is performed in the vagina.

          Pornography is degrading and dehumanizing to both men and women as well as to human sexuality; it is the root of corruptions. Since we are not allowed to expose ourselves or look at the private parts of others, whether alive or in pictures, how can we be permitted to look at the sexual acts between two people? Such practices are, indeed, not only forbidden but also reckoned as one of the most heinous sins in Islam. Therefore, we must shun them if we wish to keep the purity of our souls. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) is reported to have stated, “One of the signs of the imminence of the hour will be the universal prevalence of permissiveness and promiscuity, because of which people will engage in sexual intercourse in public to the extent that even the best ones living in those times will only go as far as wishing that they had done so under some cover!”

          The reason why such exposure is forbidden in Islam is because of the fact that haya’ (shyness and modesty) is a most fundamental character trait in Islam, which all Muslims must nurture and safeguard at all costs. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) is reported to have said, “One of the most abiding legacies of the ancient prophets is ‘If you have no shame, do whatever you will.’” He also said, “Being shy is a branch of faith.” Therefore, a believer is instinctively shy of exposing himself or herself in front of anyone other than the lawful partner. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Guard your private parts and keep them covered except from your own spouse.”

          While haya’ should prevent us from exposing ourselves in front of strangers, there is no such haya’ in front of one’s marriage partner as there is no need for any inhibitions in seeking legitimate sexual fulfillment through one’s marriage partner.

          Islam celebrates sexuality within the bounds of marriage. Thanks to Islam’s positive view of sexuality, it considers conjugal union between the spouses as an act of worship. Thus the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “You have rewards of charity in your intimate union with your spouse!” When the Companions enquired, “How can we be getting rewards for fulfilling our carnal desires?” he replied, “What if he were to fulfill it through illicit union; will they not be punished? They said, “Of course.” Then he said, “Likewise, when they do it within the bounds of marriage, they will be rewarded.”

          Marriage partners are, therefore, encouraged to be creative in their sexual expressions as long as they operate within the permissible bounds. When we truly understand the Islamic perspective on this issue, we will come to recognize that we have sufficiency in what Allah has permitted for us so that we stand in no need of resorting to what He has declared as haram for us, and that Allah has permitted us everything that is good for us, while He has forbidden only that which is filthy, impure, and harmful for us.

          Thanks to Islam’s positive view of sexuality, marriage partners are encouraged to appear attractive by taking due care of their bodies and doing everything possible to make sexual activity as pleasurable, recreational, and mutually satisfying an experience as possible. It is equally important for the couple to know that the sexual relationship must never detach one from compassionate treatment and true partnership with the spouse; thus men are ordered to be extremely sensitive in caring for the sensibilities of their partners. Accordingly, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) forbade men from jumping into bed without proper foreplay. Thus the very notion of coercing one’s partner into sexual activity without his or her willing participation is repugnant to Islamic conscience.

          Here is a brief list of sexual taboos which all married couples must observe in Islam:

          1. As Islam views conjugal union and husband-and-wife relations as extremely dignified and confidential, one is not allowed to engage in such acts in public or while others are watching. It is also forbidden to divulge one’s sexual exploits with one’s partner to anyone else. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) refers to such behavior as Satanic and hence not befitting of humans.

          2. Anal intercourse is totally forbidden. However, partners are allowed to derive sexual pleasure from intimate rubbing of any other part of the body or through oral stimulation so long as such acts are done consensually.

          3. Sadistic practices such as deriving carnal pleasure by inflicting pain or chaining one’s partner, etc. are all forbidden as they are considered as degrading and inhumane.

          4. Sexual intercourse in the vagina is forbidden during a woman’s menstrual period as well as during the postpartum period. One must wait until the bleeding stops and she has performed ghusl (ritual bathing).

          5. Sexual intercourse or intimate touching or caressing, etc. are forbidden while fasting or in state of ihram.

          6. So called group sex (regardless of whether it is done between consenting married partners or others) is an abomination and a grave sin. It is sinful even to entertain such thoughts.

          7. There is no taboo on partners masturbating each other or having sexual intimacy or fulfillment during menses as well as during postpartum period of bleeding—provided that sexual intercourse in the vagina is avoided.

          8. It is haram to engage in intimate sexual union with one’s partner while imagining or visualizing other men or women.

          Finally, let us pray to Allah to keep our hearts steadfast on what He has permitted for us. May He make us all cherish and love faith and embellish our hearts with it, and may He make us hate disbelief, transgression, and disobedience. And may the Beneficent Lord also save us all from all of the evil inclinations inherent in our souls. Ameen.

          • I want to know that if a couple intercouse according to shria and pregrency held
            after held pregrency
            Why a man and women interact
            in islam couple relation are for child not for sexual pleasure?
            if am right then a good muslim should be far from his wife till the birth of child
            and after birth he should again move to his wife after on intercource again pregrancy held he should stop till birth
            Because man is allowede to bow seed for baby (Vaginal course) not by other source
            I cant explain my Question Clearly if u can reply

        • Really appreciated your comments;
          the thing is to bless each other..

          However, Islam considers lovemaking between husband and wife to be a blessed and good thing.

          regrads

      • Anna,

        Apologies if this offends you, but your comment has been written in such a vulgar manner. When talking about intimate relationships, there is etiquette which your comment totally lacks.

        SisterZ
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

        • I agree SisterZ.

          Reading her comment makes intimacy between husband and wife sound disgusting.

          Btw, how could all the things in intimacy be described? There is a lot of logic in disclosing clearly what is NOT allowed so that we can use our brains for what is allowed.

          Do not imply that people watch porn-that is an accusation. Even long before there was porn, the Hadith stated things that are not allowed. Also, Allah blessed us with water and soap so that we don't smell and are not dirty. This is not rocket science. lol.

          Sometimes people are brought up all their life to believe sex is wrong and forget it is halal between husband and wife. Please do not be so vulgar sister Anna.

          • Sister Anna,

            No one on this page said to watch pornography, AsthagfurAllah.

            Please read the rest of this page and watch Sheikh Yasir's "Like a Garment."

            Have a wonderful day.
            JazakAllah.

          • Assalam Alaikum

            Dear sister Anna, Kindly read the two articles you posted. Both actually permit the actual act of Oral Sex.

            None of us endorsed porn and we are all clear that its Haram to watch such material.

            Also, as I pointed before, we are clear that liquids coming out of genitals are known to be haram but that doesn't make the act itself haram.

            Sister, kindly do not confuse the term "disliked" with Haram. I advised you to read other posts because I had tried to explain the difference between Makrooh and Haram.

            - Attributing something as Haram just because you don't like it is wrong.
            - Accusing Muslims of committing Haram (watching porn) without evidence is wrong.
            - Describing Makrooh as Haram is wrong.

            To all brothers and sisters, kindly do not attribute things as halaal or haram if you are not aware of the sciences of deriving a hukm in Shariah, because in some cases, if we consider some thing which Allah did not make Haram as Haram, or if we consider something halaal while Allah made it haram, I fear that we might loose Imaan!

            I did not wanted to say this in strong words thats why I said this in lighter words in earlier post but this is not a light matter. Haram and Halaal are limits imposed by Allah and we cannot change it from our desires! It is a duty of the Muslims to acquire knowledge in regards to what is Halaal and what is Haram and Allah blessed us with a method for finding Hukm from sources of Shariah and it DOES NOT include our personal thoughts or desires or likes/dislikes.

            Regards,
            Abdullah

          • Anna, the principle in fiqh is that everything is halal except what Allah and His Messenger (sws) have prohibited. So if something has not been mentioned, it is considered permissible.

            Wael
            IslamicAnswers.com Editor

          • thank you wael

        • Completely disagree with you...Anna comments were thoughtful and insightful and not in anyway out of etiquette

      • Salaams,

        I know this is an old reply but I just wanted to comment: Porn is haraam, but not simply because it depicts oral sex. Porn is haraam because it is exposing the awra of men and women which is sinful to view. Even if two women were just dancing nude, or men were caressing them and not engaging in any type of oral sex or intercourse, it would still be considered porn and it would still be wrong to look at. Think about it- Playboy magazine is considered porn, but all it contains is pictures of women in the nude. There are no photos of sexual acts going on in it at all.

        Secondly, when we talk about the genitals being 'dirty', people can mean it one of two ways. Some people call the genitals dirty in the literal sense. Like anna said, sometimes the genitals smell bad or have the residue of sweat, discharge, or other dirt in the area. This is not the same type of "filth" that the shariah refers to as 'najas'. This kind of literal dirtiness is the result of someone not bathing regularly or foregoing the practice of astinja. This is unpleasant, but it's not the same as the religious impurity that most refer to when these types of discussions come up.

        Religious impurity, which is called 'najas', is describing certain liquids that have been deemed as "filthy" by Allah, and so we have been told to avoid them. Of course semen and vaginal fluids have been classified as najas, but so has blood and vomit.

        ...and I have NEVER heard anyone argue about how we use our mouths to recite quran etc etc when the issue of having blood or vomit in the mouth comes up. Why not? Because we all know that if one of us loses a tooth and bleeds, or gets sick and vomits, that we can simply clean out our mouths and all will be well again.

        How come that can't apply for oral sex as well? First of all, there are ways to engage in oral sex that wouldn't involve fluids entering the mouth to begin with. But even if that were to happen, the mouth can be cleaned out and be just as "pure" as it would be had we just had oral surgery.

        -Amy
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • I do agree with that..

      • I agreed with u 100%

      • If sperm is dislike then mankind should be disliked since we're born from it. Why can't we put our mouth on something we came out of?

        • You can put your sperms in your mouth who is stopping you.

          In men Semen, pre-ejeculate, urine all come out from one tube (ureter) and one opening in penis. So any thing that comes out of penis has little bit of urine mixed in it.

      • If it's not forbidden in Quran then it's allowed. Just like anal is forbidden and is mentioned. Now people saying it wasn't practiced then so it would have been forbidden. well hello if everything was predicted in Quran then for sure if oral was a sin it would have been mentioned as God knows our intentions before us.

      • very good words i liked and i also respect your beautiful words thank you

      • Thank u my brother to control me of doing this bad activity may allah bless us with his mercy and save us from the chastisement of fire

      • Jazaakumullaahu khairan. This is a very logical argument.
        In addition, we know that faults are hidden and not advertised except by the truly unfortunate. Normal sex between spouses is not hidden but who will allow the public realize he does this dirty thing with his spouse?
        If so, then it is not allowable.

    • Us salaam O Alaikum
      i red all what you guys have written i have made some research about oral sex between husband and wife
      1 it is permited if both are agree and happy with it
      2 if husband want it you have to do it to save your married life because it is not Haram even it is not makroh the only thing makroh is tasting or swallowing the fluid chich come out from private parts infact all things ( kissing, rubbing, taking in mouth, licking) you can do unless the fluid does not goes in your mouth when its dry you can enjoy your spouse.
      3 so dont get confuse man and women when married are hallal for each other have both have complete right to enjoy each other body and body parts except Anus which is impure and other parts ( penis & vigina) they are not impure they are just like other parts of your body ( life finger and breast)

      I have find out these things. may allah guide us all and give us sense to understand right or wrong and good and bad.

      Allah forgive me if I am wrong or miss guiding any one
      please refer to Alim that will be better.

      Jazaak Allah

      • Hello sister, you have a right to tell your husband you do not want to do oral if jt does not please you as well it has to be an mutaul agreement. And since this upsets him so much sister you need to ask him an important question. Does he care what makes you happy? Is there some way you can compromise with your husband? If he would divorce you over oral sex, I do not think this man loves you and should never be punished in this way by saying he wants a divorce. You havent done anything seriously wrong. Allah wants us to be happy and neither one of you sound happy to me. I would seriously think about moving on sister he isn't treating you good like husband should.

    • as you know in quran it is mentioned
      husband and wife are garments {clothes} for each others
      and there are some rules to wear clothes
      you have to wear shirt on upper part of body and pent on legs
      so after marriage upper part of wife is for upper part of husband and vice versa
      so according to quran oral sex is haram

      • Salaams,

        How to wear clothes has nothing to do with oral sex, nor with oral sex being mentioned as forbidden in the Quran (which it isn't).

        It was narrated on the authority of Abi Tha'labah Al-Khushani Jurthum bin Nashir (Allah be please with him) that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said:

        Verily Allah the Almighty has prescribed the obligatory deeds, so do not neglect them; He has set certain limits, so do not go beyond them; He has forbidden certain things, so do not indulge in them; and He has said NOTHING (emphasis mine) about certain things, as an act of MERCY (emphasis mine) to you, not out of forgetfulness, so do not go enquiring into these.

        (Related by Al-Daraqutni and others- Al-Nawawi said this is a hasan hadith)

        While everyone is saying oral sex is wrong because of this logic or that deduction,hadith says to leave matters alone which are not CLEARLY outlined in Islam. The halal and the haram are clear. We are not left unguided. If Allah chose not to address something, it's a mercy to us, and we need to accept its permissability and leave off from scrutinizing it further.

        -Amy
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • AsSalaamu Alaikum Brother Umair,

        Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says:

        "Permitted for you is intercourse with your wives on the night of the fast. They are a garment for you, and you are a garment for them..."

        (Quran 2: 187)

        That is a nice analogy by you brother Umair, but unfortunately it hasn't fulfilled a condition of analogy in shari'ah, which is the knowledge of Quranic eloquence.

        The mentioning of "garment" is part of the Quranic eloquence, which is a metaphor in the Arabic language. Arabs nickname "a family (a spouse)" as "a garment" or as anything that is used to cover our dignity. Both garment and family covers our dignity. So the Holy Quran is referring to the close relation between a garment and a family, which is protection of dignity, not how to wear garment. A garment protects our physical dignity, whereas a family (a spouse) protects our emotional and sexual dignity.

        And even if we go it your logic way, still it does not prove oral sex to be haram. There are different ways of wearing garments, depending on the type of garments. You can wear some garments from up downwards, and others from down upwards, as there are even some cloths that you wrap them around yourself without up/down. However, there are other garments which can be wore either from up downwards, or from down upwards - both ways are your choice and not haram.

        As all what is haram with regards to garments have been explicitly mentioned, and all what is haram with regards to intercourse have been explicitly mentioned as well.

      • Umar Salam brother that is an absolutely false and ridiculous interpretation of that verse ...

    • I agree with you mostly brother except for a few things.
      From what I have read, as long as the semen doesn't get ingested giving oral is okay. Another thing is that foreplay is recommended in islam. Foreplay includes things like kissing, massages, oral, etc. Oral is not something that comes from the pornographic industry, it's something that has been around for thousands of years. Proof of this is in ancient cultural art in which acts of sex are shown and oral is shown. With this evidence no one can say that oral wasn't around in the prophet muhammad s.a.w.'s time.
      A husband cannot force his wife to do anything. The only thing that is required of her is being available for sexual intercourse which does not include foreplay even though foreplay is recommended.
      As far as I know the only sexual act with one's wife that is haraam is anal sex other than that, everything with one's wife is allowed.
      anyways that's my knowledge on the topic.

      • Yeah I am agree with this brother. Because there is not mentioned in Quraan and any Hadeeth that swallowing of semen is not allowed even some of scholars has says this is Halaal. The only thing that anal sex is haraam .

    • i think if he want to make himself and you satisfied then its ok other wise force fully right thing become wrong

    • It's absolutely preposterous that you think that obeying one's husband is the wife's prime duty. He is forcing her to give him oral sex- that is RAPE! Even if he was forcing her to have normal intercourse which is halal, it is still rape! I can't believe you are condoning rape here.

    • i just wanted to clarify that oral sex and blow jobs in particular do not originate 'from pornographic content' as you state. There is evidence of this happening for thousands of years across many disparate cultures. The act actually does have a benefit to the users as it helps create a lubricant that would otherwise be impossible to make (if the female struggled getting wet due to age or other reasons). In the modern age we can manufacture synthetic lubricants but this was not possible for the majority of history.

      Im not making a statement on whether the act is permissible or not but twisting history to make slanderous comments about another culture certainly isn't permissible. One should always seek the truth rather than making assumptions that are wrong.

  2. According to Shafi' school, wellknown scholars Imam Nawawi, Imam Ghazzali etc agreed that oral sex is permissible but all agreed that ' sperm ' is filthy and is forbidden to intake. Whats forbidden regarding sex is already clear in the Quran.
    The most important aspect is that both husband and wife has to sit down and discuss this issue as obviously one may dislike it while other loves it. Marital relations should be a pleasure for both husband and wife and not only one of them. Oral sex is neither explicitly halal nor haram and so wanting to divorce on the grounds of performing oral sex is illogical. Have patience, the choice is yours and ask Allah for help.

    • Brother,

      I don't think Imam Nawawi explicitly permits oral sex. (I am not sure about al Ghazali) If you know where he says it is permitted, please quote.

      Muhammad Waseem
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • I can't really copy/paste with the mobile i'm using, but I'll just state what they said.

        In Al- Umm, book of nikah, Imam Shafii' himself said that " Except anal sex, enjoyment of the whole body regardless of viginal penetration is permissible ".

        In Rawda, book of nikah, Imam Nawawi said that " He has the right to all kinds of sexual enjoyment...... He has the right to masturbate with the hands of his wife just as he may enjoy her entire body "

        Allah told in the Quran that we can do whatever we want with our wives during physical relationship except the rear part.

        Im not sure about the Hanafi school regarding orals but I heard some scholars said permissible, some disliked and some forbidden.

        But Shafi' school said its permisible aslong as the filth ( semen ) doesn't enter the mouth, therefore use of condom is advisable. Taking in the filthy fluid is forbidden in all schools of taught.

        Malikis and Hanbalis have almost the same opinions as Shafis.

        Shafifiqh.com has some more details.

        • Imam ash Shafa'i's statement is general and this is what most of the scholars of this age say. But the context concetned is specific. But I read some scholars say that Kissing of he privet parts of one's partner is allowed. For rest of the actions concerning whatever is called 'oral sex', I agree go with the position of the scholars I mentioned above.

          Muhammad Waseem
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

      I see no reason that even ingestion is haram. What made it haram? There is disagreement among the scholars on whether semen is taahir or not.

      Even if it isn't, why is everyone forgetting the hadith about people drinking cow urine for health benefits? Surely pleasing ones spouse is greater than any health benefits!

  3. Pls i want to see wael advice on this subject.

  4. Actually, i used to condemn and criticize this oral sex thing. I see it as something disgusting. But now am begining to realize that i am mistaken.. Islamically, it is not forbidden. And secondly, its a way of boosting sexual pleasure.

    • A.A Dear editors,

      Please delete or at least censor this post. It is very explicit and pornographic. There are kids who visit this website and I don't think its a good thing to read such. Please let all the authors be very cautious and try to use euphemism.

      Salaam.

  5. I would say a man forcing his wife (or vice versa) to perform any sexual act which she does not enjoy and which does not bring them both mutual pleasure, as an expression of love and satisfaction of the carnal desire between them, is wrong. How can "force" ever be a good thing? Especially something so intimate? Does it not then become rape?

  6. This is a heated subject.

    Unfortunately people are embarrassed or ashamed to talk of this. I know this is a very personal matter between husband and wife. Part of a good marriage is to have good communication, good understanding, respect, and of course love. The physical aspect of marriage is very important as well. This should be a topic of discussion and mutual understanding between husband and wife, not a topic for one spouse to threaten the other with divorce. Clearly that does not please Allah.

    What I believe is very clear is that male ejaculate should not be swallowed by the wife, and female liquids excretions should not be swallowed by the husband. Anal intercourse is not allowed. Beyond, that, as has been mentioned, is a grey area.

    Allah knows your heart. If you do things not specifically defined as haraam or halaal, with the goal of pleasing your spouse and making your marriage stronger and better for both husband and wife, I think Allah will be most merciful and forgiving should it end up being something He does not favor. If we do something out of selfishness without regard for your spouse, then Allah will not be pleased.

    AmericanMuslim
    IslamicAnswers.com

  7. Wa Alaikum as Salam brother Saqib,

    Please read the fatwa by shaikh Albani and the Hadith he mentions, that says that this act resembles that of animals. This is a reason why I hold the position that it is immoral. ( http://www.fatwa-online.com/fataawa/
    marriage/sexualrelations/
    sre003/0091016.htm )

    Alhamdilillah, I try my best to keep myself, my words upon the Quran and the Sunnah, sometimes I do faulter, and I beg Allah to Forgobe me. But here, I do not think I have.

    Following whims in any matter will lead one astray. Hence, lay people should look up to the sound scholars of the Ahlus Sunnah on matters that are not clear. Otherwise, the Shaitaan will easily fool us.

    I have already said that it is in the "grey" and not "black or white". And according to a Hadith:

    دع ما يريبك الا ما لا يريبك
    Leave that which puts you in doubt, for that which does not put you in doubt
    (at Tirmidhi)

    I did not say sperm was filthy. But the repurcussions of swallowing the ejaculated fluid are clear. Read it in the Fatwa Online note provided at the end of the following fatwa:

    http://www.fatwa-online.com/fataawa/marriage/sexualrelations/sre003/0030726.htm

    Whatever one dislikes does not become Haraam. But when the scholars do Qiyas and deem sometjing to be disliked or prohibited, we should respect it, instead of following our own whims to deem Halaal whatever we like and deem Haraam whatever we dislike.

    You said oral sex was not unheard of at the tome of Rasoolullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasalam. Can you please mentiom any narration that mentions oral sex? I said what I said, because I am not aware of any Hadith mentioning oral sex. If there was, the matter would have been explicitly clear.

    I believe my position is now clear. Anyone is free to differ, if one is satisfied with the proofs one has, the scholars who share that opinion, etc. In sha Allah, we will all be Raised by Allah upon our Niyyaat.

    May Allah Give us all the most correct understanding.

    Your final question about enjoyment. What if the husband and wide both enjoy anal sex? Will it stand to become halaal? I know it is a separate matter. But my point is that enjoyment does not decide Halaal and Haraam.

    Muhammad Waseem
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • My dear brother, Wasiim., how would you compare anal sex with oral sex? In the koran, Allah has clearly forbidden anal sex. But you can not point out a single evidence either from the koran or from the sunnah in which Allah or his massanger has forbidden oral sex.

      You know, there is something we must know, this deen of Allah is so complete. In clear terms, Allah has made it clear what is haram for us.
      Nobody has the right to forbid what Allah has not forbidden. And whoever does that, he is committing shirk - he is associating himself with Allah, and automatically, such person is a khafiir.

      Had Allah disliked oral sex, He would have made it haram in the koran, just like the way He explicitly made anal sex haram.

      So brother, Allah knows why He remain silent when its comes to the issue of oral sex. He knows that some of His slaves might find it disgusting, whilst others would find it exciting and pleasing.

      If you find it disgusting, then Allah has not made it compulsory on you, so you are free not to do it.
      And if you find it exciting and pleasing, then Allah has not made it haram for you, so you are free to enjoy oral sex with your wife..

      And lastly, you would agree with me that majority of the islamic schoolers agree with the philosophy that 'what ever act Allah and his massanger does not make haram, then it is halal for whoever that wish to do such act'...

      Just as i said brother, i my self at a point in time, was a critic of oral sex. And if you check some of the posts concerning oral sex in this site, you would see how i strongly condemn it. But i realise i was just mistaken. Haha so brother, if you have a wife at home and you dont find it disgusting, just give it a try, and you would live never to condemn it again. Your wife would always request you to perform the oral sex on her. Hahaha lol!!!

  8. Brother Mohd, I think I said I knew it was a different matter
    And again, I did not say it was prohibited, bit is something disliked as the scholars point out and give their reasons.

    I would never attempt such a thing with my wife, in sha Allah. 🙂

    And there are many things which are today called Haraam due to Qiyaas, though no explicit Ayah of Quran or a Sahih Hadith says it. This is where the Hadith about leaving what puts you in doubt applies. It is a form of test from Allah. We can not say "Why Would Allah....?" or "Why Would Allah Not....?" And Allah Knows Best.

    May Allah accept our Niyyah while it is solely for His Sake.

    Muhammad Waseem
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  9. Sister,

    As you will see sister, there are different schools of thought on the issue of oral sex. I will leave it up to you to do your own research and ascertain what you choose to believe. On the other hand, the fact that your husband forces you to do something which you do not like is for lack of a better word here...selfish. What woman wants to be in bed with her husband being forced to do something which she dislikes? It makes you not want to be in bed with him at all because you are being threatened. If that isn't a mood killer I don't know what is! That alone makes you resent him and not want to be with him at all in his bed. His threat to you of divorce if you do not heed his demand is selfish and pathetic. Oral sex should not be the end all of a relationship if it is something that you are not comfortable with. Surely one can be creative in other ways?!

    Salam

  10. Salaam sister,
    I dont have the answer that you are looking for regarding your situation,BUT,I have never read or heard that it is haram.The only thing,which I know that is not allowed, is intercourse in the backside.One thing I can say for certain however that Allah SWT does NOT like divorce and you said it yourself that you have been unable to find any islamic evidence of oral sex being forbidden.So my advice to you is other than backside do whatever your husband wants UNTIL you find any solid evidence that it is haram,sister our glorious religion is VERY flexible and you will not be punished for something you did not know.......Therefore keep your husband happy and keep your marriage alive and I hope you never think about divorce.

    • Brother Mustafa,

      The statement "our Relegion is very flexible" is incorrect. Islam has set rules that can't be bent, though there is flexibility in how to follow those rules. Otherwise, Islam is very particular about its practices and rules.

      Muhammad Waseem
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Mustafa,

      The sister clearly states that her husband "forces" her to perform oral sex on him. I am totally going to have to disagree with you in your statement that she should "do whatever he wants". What about what she wants? Why should she have to do something that makes her very uncomfortable or she feels is disgusting for her? For her husband to force her and threaten her with divorce is just childish on his part. No one...woman or man should be forced to do anything they do not want to do. She is not a dog, she is his wife and as such...he should respect her feelings on the issue and not threaten her. This will only make her not want to be in their bed and harbor ill feelings towards her husband. Allah hu alem.

      Salam

    • how you can say do whatever he want?
      in our islam there are many rights of women regarding sex as well. you can not force ur wife for sex.sex is a loving relationship between husband and wife not forceful relation.y she should hear her husband?y he dont stop it to make her wife happy?man is not allowed to use condoms or secreate sperms out of wives body without her willingness than how he would be allowed to to force her wife for the act hated by her and also most of the muslims.??????//

    • You Mr Mustafa are a male chauvinist. She must do everything to please that creep and God will forgive her .. U weird thinking men have spoiled religion. She doesnt like it, she shall not do it .. y cant you keep it simple .. he is a man and she is not is sex slave.. he wants to do stuff she doesnt like and then threatens her with divorce and u still stand there defend your male friend. shame on this conservative thinking of yours., Divorce is a very good option for this person.. she would not have to spend her life with a moron.. he can go and get a blow job from someone else... if all that man wants to do is to get a BJ this 'sister' of yours can get married to a better morally strong and a respectful man.. u need therapy Mustafa .. grow up ..

  11. The is no authentic hadith that I know of that says divorce is disliked. Pls let me know if you know of one.

    • "The most hateful permissible thing (Halal) in the sight of Allah is divorce." (Abu Dawud, Hadith 1863, Ibn Majah, Hadith 2008)

      • This Hadith is not authenticated as Sahih it is actually classed as Da'eef

        Please read this article:

        http://www.seekingilm.com/archives/311

        • Thanks for the link, brother. I wasn't aware that it was da'eef. It gives a detail on the chain. However, the article itself states that there are differences.

          But Imam al Albani Rahimahullah called it daeef.

          Imam Haakim states another Hadith of the same nature and states it is Sahih:

          “ With Allah , the most disliked thing from the permissible things is divorce.”
          ( 2 / 196 of al- Mustadrak of Al- Haakim )

          Allahu A'lam, but I thought we could quote this Hadith. The following discussion by Shaikh ibn Uthaimeen is clear:

          In the case of one who has decided to divorce his wife , the use of the words ‘All - Hearer , All - Knower ’ indicates that Allaah dislikes that.

          It was narrated that the Prophet ( peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him ) said : ‘ The most hated of permissible things to Allaah is divorce. ’

          This hadeeth is not saheeh , but its meaning is saheeh.
          Allaah dislikes divorce, but He does not forbid it to His slaves, to make things easier for them . If there is a valid reason for divorce, in sharee ’ ah or otherwise , then that is permissible . Whether there is a valid reason depends on whether the woman’ s remaining married will lead to some shar ’i reservation that can only be alleviated by divorce, then he may divorce her , such as when the woman is lacking in religious commitment or chastity , and he is unable to reform her . In such cases , we say that it is better for him to divorce her . But if there is no such valid reason, whether shar ’ i or otherwise , then we say that it is better not to divorce her ; indeed in such a case divorce would be makrooh.” ( As ’ ilat al- Baab al- Maftooh)

          Muhammad Waseem
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  12. have a read of this sister ... http://www.islamqa.info/en/ref/97125/difference%20in%20opinion%20spouses

    if u r uncertain about what islam says regarding the matter of oral sex, then explain it to him nicely the fatwa i gave the link of, and ask him nicely to bring the evidence for his view for oral sex being permissible ... and do not be sad, some men get carried away with sex, im sure he never meant to say those words, im sure he loves u. just try to be patient and explain to him in a wise and nice manner that u are trying to research this matter, and for him to be patient about it for now and to be understanding. give him other sexual pleasure, like masturbating hm if he wants more than just the normal way.

    sorry, im not able to tell u what the islamic ruling is on oral sex, plz put send ur question to the islamqa website. hope u get an answer soon sis.

  13. Thank you all, I really appreciate all the input and advise.

    I guess like myself many other are not clear on the issue, seems like it's more of a personal preference thing even for many scholars in Islam as well.

    Brother Wasim, morality does not have a fix definition. I know friends who even did not take off their complete cloths in-front of their husbands in utter most privacy, as they think it's immoral. So it's all a line in sand when it comes to morality between husband and wife intimate relationship.

    Sister Najah: Just to clarify, when I say "force" me, I mean as per my understanding of act as forbidden/haram in Islam, not that he physically manhandle me to do so. if the act is not forbidden I do not have issue being intimate with my husband this way. My hesitation is purely from religious perspective.

    I don't know how this can be equated as animailstic by scholars, at least I don't know of any animals who get engage in oral sex. Secondly, difficult for me to digest that it was not practice at Prophet's time or before His era. If anal sex can be practiced before His era and Hazrat Loot R.A nation get crushed for that reason, I am sure it was their as well. I am leaning to Brother Mohd thinking, if this was that bad, Allah would have forbidden this explicitly like he did for anal sex and intercourse during menstruation, but such ruling.

    Again, many thanks for all of your contributions and advises.

    • W/salaam

      Someone asked this question at a Halaka and the truth is - there is no black/white. It is a grey area. But I have been told that in matters to do with ibaadah (worshipping Allah) everything is haraam except that which is explicitly halal. And in matters to do with life (everything else) everything is halal unless there is explicit evidence to say it is haraam. Her advice was that it is a personal preference thing. If you feel that it is wrong/immoral then do not do it. If you feel it is not then you can do it. The only issue with it that has been mentioned is that the fluids are not pure so they must be avoided. Ultimately it is your choice and there is no obligation upon you to do it, nor is there an explicit rule forbidding you from it.

      I personally feel as though such fatwas seem to be personal to the Sheikh's opinion, rather than based on pure fact - but Allah knows best. Either way intimacy in marriage should be based on love, respect and mutual understanding and both partners should be willing and comfortable

      Sara
      IslamicAnswerscom Editor

      • Jazakallah khair sara. very well explained.
        mashallah , Allah has blessed you with skill to simplify things. i look out for your other posts/replies as well as it helps to synthesize matters bit more easily.

  14. I agree with all the statements made by brother waseem...:) just wanted to say that! His answers make sense and are logical backed by sound proofs...

    One other thing, someone doesnt have to 'manhandle' one to enforce...he is doing it with the threat of divorce...it seems like this doubtful act is more important to him than his wife. Sorry but thats how i would see it.

  15. ASSALAMALAIKUM
    FOR THE REASON YOU MENTIONED IT IS NOT WORTH OR REQUIRED TO BREAK THE RELATIONSHIP IT IS NOT A VERY VERY MAJOR ISSUE IT IS JUST A MINOR ONE COMPARED TO THE WORLD IS GOING WITH MANY MANY OPPRESSION ON WOMEN-

    PL SAVE THE RELATIONSHIP AT ANY COST JUST SAY YOU CAN DO WHAT BEST YOU CAN AND MANAGE WITH HIM -
    OTHER WISE THE SITUATION WILL WORSEN AND HE WILL-DRINK TEA OUTSIDE IF HE DOES NOT GET GOOD TEA AT HOME.....THAT IS MORE HARMFUL FOR YR LIFE AND FUTURE .....

    PLS PONDER

    REGARDS

  16. Dears
    What i under stand and read about the oral sex its not haram but it has '' karah'' and if the fluid is not intake by each other and nothing make you najiss then it is not prohibitated and obviously when you discharged during intimation your whole body remain najiss untill you have ghusl then the body is Pak so fluid come out from organs then nijasat proved.clothes remain ok untill semen not touch the clothes.this problem is not the matter of seperation after washing your mouth its same like your body removes nijasat after intercourse so the difference is quite minor as your clothes remain pak after wash.Allah wa alum bissawab.

  17. As for me i'm convinced that the issue of oral sex is complicated you can neither say its directly right nor directly wrong because no clear ayah or hadith that permits or prohibits it, the issue is "grey" as brother muhammad waseem sed. As for me this hadith solved it all.
    ﻚﺒﻳﺮﻳ ﻻ ﺎﻣ ﻻﺍ ﻚﺒﻳﺮﻳ ﺎﻣ ﻉﺩ
    Leave that which puts you in doubt, for that which does not
    put you in doubt
    (at Tirmidhi). May Allah guide us

  18. I would say that if you do not know if "oral sex" is permissible or not, do not do it just to stay on the safe side.

  19. Assalam Alaikum

    I am no scholar but I have been extensively searching for the answer to this same issue for quite some time ever since I got married. I went through several tafaseer of the Ayah which says "Nisaukuim Harthul lakum..." (Al-Baqara:223) then I went through several of the ahadeeth and even explanations of different Sahabah on this matter.

    It came out to me that the ONLY thing which is explicitly and clearly haram is anal sex and other then that nothing has been declared Haram directly in Quran or Ahadeeth or even by the Ijma of Sahabah. (I am purposefully leaving the matter of Qias for the time being).

    Another thing which I found during my research on the topic is that both spouses are stressed upon to make their relationship a happy one and specially there are explicit instructions about making the act of intercourse more pleasurable.

    Now, we all know the hadith which says haram and halaal are clearly mentioned and that there is a grey area in between:

    عن أبي عبد الله النعـمان بن بشير رضي الله عـنهما ، قـال : سمعـت رسـول الله صلي الله عـليه وسلم يقول: ( إن الحلال بين ، وإن الحـرام بين ، وبينهما أمـور مشتبهات لا يعـلمهن كثير من الناس ، فمن اتقى الشبهات فـقـد استبرأ لديـنه وعـرضه ، ومن وقع في الشبهات وقـع في الحرام ، كـالراعي يـرعى حول الحمى يوشك أن يرتع فيه،ألا وإن لكل ملك حمى ، ألا وإن حمى الله محارمه ، ألا وإن في الجـسد مضغة إذا صلحـت صلح الجسد كله ، وإذا فـسـدت فـسـد الجسـد كـلـه ، ألا وهي الـقـلب) رواه البخاري [ رقم : 52 ] ومسلم [ رقم : 1599 ]

    So, considering this hadith and summing up my research on the topic, I came to understand that oral sex is clearly NOT haram because it has not been explicitly being described as haram in the sources of Shariah. However, it cannot be declared as the most desirable act either because there is no mention of any encouragement to this act in particular in sources of Shariah.

    So the debate now, would be if this is a Mubah matter or a Makruh matter.

    Which ever Scholar uses Qias for reaching to his conclusion as Makruh and Mubah or even Haram in this matter would purely be his Ijtihad and definitely will not make a compulsion upon the whole Ummah to follow his words just as there is difference in opinion regarding Nikah and Tallaaq among the scholars and there are several opinions on the matter.

    Now, before someone points this out that the hadith instruct to avoid the grey area too. Let me please make this clear that although there is a reward for avoiding grey area but it does not make it Haram otherwise it would not have been grey area to begin with.

    Now coming to the sister's question. She did not mention anywhere about her personal like or dislike in the matter. She said this clearly that she is confused because she thinks this could be forbidden by Allah.

    The answer to this question is quite clear to me. According to my research, Allah has not described Oral Sex as explicitly Haram but indeed Rasulallah Sallallah Alaih Wasallam encouraged spouses to seek pleasure in intercourse from all Halaal means. So, if your husband (or your wife) gets pleasure out of Oral Sex and you do not dislike it personally, then kindly do what makes your spouse happy.

    Also, let me please point this out too. Makruh is NOT equal or not even close to Haraam! Haraam is something which you shall be accounted for and punished for doing on the day of judgement. On the other hand, there is no sin associated with Makruh. It only deprives you from Allah's pleasure. While being deprived of Allah's pleasure is not a small thing but yet it doesn't make you sinful.

    Brothers and Sisters. Please do not let your marriage end on such simple matters which does NOT constitute Haraam at all and specially when you don't dislike it personally either.

    At the end, I would rather narrate my own personal experience because it seems interesting to me.

    As I said I was initially confused on the matter because I wanted to try it but did not knew Hukm when I got married. My wife plainly wasn't aware of this possibility at all :).

    It took me some months to do all my research on the topic and then I finally sat down with my wife to discuss my findings and it wasn't easy because I had not found a single clear answer 🙂

    So, I explained her what I found and then asked her what she thinks on the matter. She said she was disgusted by the very idea. But said she would atleast try it once because I like it (may Allah bless her). So we tried it on each other. Surprisingly enough, after having the experience, she enjoyed it more than me. She said at first it caused her nausea but then she started enjoying it.

    And now after being married for three years, the result is that she still insists on doing it while I myself have lost the pleasure in it. So I don't tell her that I don't like it anymore and let her enjoy what she likes now 🙂

    Reason of telling my experience is that, NEVER judge something from your own desire. Hukm of Allah is derived from sources of Shariah and Allah said this in Quran that you may not like some thing even though its good for you and you may like some thing while its bad for you.

    So, again I stress that kindly do not reject a request from your Husband/wife if its not Haraam and if you do not dislike it personally. If you dislike it personally, then thats a different story and in that case you need to sit with your spouse and convince him about it without using Sharia as an excuse.

    In short, do as you or your spouse like to do as long as it isn't Haram!

    Regards,
    Abdullah.

    • BarakAllah feekum

    • Thank you for sharing 😀

    • Dear Brother Abdullah sb,

      I would like to share my thinking about such a sensitive matter. First of all i would like to share a Hadess that is quoted by our beloved Amma Ayesha (R.A) that "
      From till marriage with our prophet Hazrat Muhammad (PBUH), I never look his compete body (private parts) and He also."

      Second part of this question is that you say if Husband and wife get pleasure to do this , do it.
      OK we both (me and my wife) pleasure to do it if you are sure that in pleasure both sides with husband and wife then no problem then give a comment below that if in judgment day ALLAH PAAK will ask me question for this you will be responsible then i am doing this without any hesitation.

      May ALLAH PAAK Forgives us all.

      Regards,

      Akhtar Hussain

      • Assalam Alaikum

        Dear brother Akhtar. Thank you for sharing this hadith. Indeed, it is said that Rasulallah sallallah alaih wasallam did not like to see his wife's private parts. This was his personal like or dislike. Though I am sure you are aware that there is nothing wrong in looking at your spouse private parts. If not then kindly let me know and I shall try to gather all the evidence from Quran and ahadith which permit this.

        Brother, please read my answer and clarifications in other posts carefully. I tried to present my case study that I could not find anything in sources of shariah which could attribute oral sex as haram. though there are substantial material in sources of shraiah which explicitly ask both spouse to make this intercourse more pleasurable for each other, trough all halaal means. That is why I conclude that oral sex should be allowed.

        Brother it is mentioned explicitly in Quran several times that :

        وَلَا تَكْسِبُ كُلُّ نَفْسٍ إِلَّا عَلَيْهَا ۚ وَلَا تَزِرُ وَازِرَةٌ وِزْرَ أُخْرَىٰ (Surah Al-Anám: 164)

        and

        مَنِ اهْتَدَىٰ فَإِنَّمَا يَهْتَدِي لِنَفْسِهِ ۖ وَمَنْ ضَلَّ فَإِنَّمَا يَضِلُّ عَلَيْهَا ۚ وَلَا تَزِرُ وَازِرَةٌ وِزْرَ أُخْرَىٰ (Surah Al-Isra: 15)

        which means no one shall bear the burden of other!

        I cannot take responsibility of your actions brother. Though if you ask me for my opinion and advice on this matter then I have already explained it, I do not think oral sex is haram, based upon my research of sources of Shariah in this matter and I do recommend this practice to those who enjoy it.

        But make sure you understand this that whatever you do, you do it from your own free will and cannot hold others accountable for your mistakes. The hadith clearly says: "seeking knowledge is obligatory upon every Muslim" Ibn Majah

        So, its your responsibility to seek knowledge and act accordingly.

        Regards,
        Abdullah

  20. dear sister,

    i am currently taking a course on Halal intimacy called "Like a Garment" being conducted by Sheikh Yasir Qadhi of Almaghrib Institute ans DiscoverU institute. i believe everyone knows the esteemed sheikh, but if u dont, u can google him up and these institutes too.

    the material being taught is strictly based on Quran and Sunnah, and thoroughly researched.

    he has an explicit module on this very issue! and good news for you is that he proves through references that Oral sex is very much allowed!!! i cant give u the references here as i did not make notes, as i was just listening only for myself. but if u want the references, then i can go back n listen to that module again, n get back to you with them! i hope this helps!! 🙂

    may Allah help u in ur marital life!
    Wassalam!

    • Just inetrested what his( Yasir Qadhi) views were about masturbation in the light of Quran and sunnah.iam just asking as you are already studying it and there are sooo many people enquiring about it.

  21. hello everyone,
    i have simple and easy answer for all of u about oral sex with a little example.
    Being a muslim all have taken name of ALLAH from there tongue so if we take example of daily life like if we see newspaper at ground with writen name of ALLAH on it we just pick that up fast and place it somehwere clean,so think about oral sex from this example that the tongue from which a name ALLAH is just taken and someone do oral sex with that person.We read quran and i think after read everyone take kiss on quran.Just simple is that if any muslim do oral sex with his wife or with any muslim girl then what we can say about that muslim think about this....1 more point here,
    Here, it should be noted that one of the main objectives of Shari`ah is to safeguard the life of people and keep them healthy. Based on this, if it is scientifically proven that oral sex or such practices cause mouth cancer or form a danger on the health of a person who practices it, then it becomes totally prohibitedand so now u all i think understand.
    Its specially for first post,sister your hunband is doing much wrong stop him from doing this by any way u can.
    And others who wish for oral sex first think about other things as prayer,quran reading,eating food and all that as u do all this from your mouth,Bye all:)

    • I understand from your argument that we should not engage in oral sex because we recite with our tongue and mouth.

      If you think about it, we touch the Quran with our hands and with those same hands, husband and wife would be touching each other including their private areas with their hands.

      We do not have actually physically come in contact with the Quran with our tongue, but we do touch the Quran with our hands.

      I think that their is much wisdom in the Hadith which make it clear what is forbidden in Islam. Some like to say that this type of oral sex didn't exist at the time so it is not mentioned - this does not make sense. Clearly there was sodomy occuring and it was clear-cut outright denied and labeled as haram - we could say that how would they give a list of what is allowed between husband and wife without it sounding vulgar. So indeed there is wisdom by giving a list of what NOT to do, so that husband and wife can love and nurture each other in the bond and relationship that Allah swt made.

      What is not labeled as haram outrightly, we should be careful about the examples we give.

    • You need to take shower and do wudhu after getting physical with your wife and then pray or eat or read Quran etc. not directly right ? simple now isn't it.

      • Bro. Ali, I am not sure if your comment was aimed at me or not, but I think you misunderstood. No one is saying that they will touch the Quran directly after husband/wife relations, asthughfirAllah.

        Brother Naveed said that we use our mouth to read the Quran and say Allah and my point is that we are physically in contact with the Quran with our hands, so his argument didn't make sense because we are never in contact with the Quran with our mouth.

        Yes, of course one performs ghusl after intimacy (and other things).

        If we say we cannot do oral sex because of our mouth, there are many things we do with our hands too - so this argument didn't make any sense. (of course, AFTER ghusl)

        After reading br. Abdullah's previous posts and from Sheikh Yasir Qadhi's lecture "Like a Garment", these matters make sense. There are a lot of opinions here, but proofs little.

  22. Assalam Alaikum

    Dear Brother Naveed. Thankyou for contributing your thought and opinion on this matter. However, please be advised that a Hukm is not derived in Shariah from making analogy from our mind. The analogy needs to be defined in the sources of Shariah for making a valid Qias.

    Firstly I would like to point out that the whole process of intercourse between husband and wife is described as a Sadaqah in Hadith and thus we shall get reward for it. So, any permitted action in this whole action cannot be immoral or filthy! Infact you are getting Ajar for all Halaal actions during intercourse.

    If the bases of your assumption is that the genital region is unclean compared to mouth than kindly do a little research and you shall be surprised to find that human mouth contains more microbes than genitals.

    If you are pointing towards the fact that genital excretions are filthy then kindly read the posts above, we are all clear on this matter that its Haram to swallow any liquid from genital regions. But the filth of the excretion does not make the act haram, unless someone is careless enough to discharge the fluids in mouth. In that case it shall be a sinful act for this individual if he does this deliberately. But still will not make the act itself Haram!

    Brother Naveed, from the Scientific point of view, I think you forgot about the several disease which are caused directly by the very act of sexual intercourse (HIV, gonorrhea and other STD) but does this make the intercourse between husband and wife Haram?? No it doesn't. Also, kindly do a research from scientific bases on this topic and you shall find out that it isn't decisive that oral sex cause mouth cancer. Infact you shall be surprised that mouth cancer is among the rarest form of cancer which doesn't usually happen in most humans.

    Brothers and sisters, the purpose of this reply is only to make it clear that there are some bases for reaching a conclusion on Hukm Sahri about a matter. The first thing is to have a clear understanding of the reality. Second is to do a comprehensive study of all Ayah and Ahadeeth related to the subject matter and then one could conclude a hukm. And for doing that, we also need have sound knowledge of Arabic and other sources of Shariah.

    I did try to point this out in my previous mail that we should not involve our personal desires in concluding a matter. The Hukm Shari will only come from Sources of Shariah. Not from our desires or thoughts.

    Regards,
    Abdullah

  23. Assalam Alaikum

    (This post has been compiled on sister Anna's request. She asked me to provide hadith which prohibit Porn and a hadith which allow Oral Sex. I can't find her post any more though but I received a notification. This is not related to the topic in question)

    Dear sister Anna,

    You will not find a hadith with words including "porn" because filmography wasn't known at the time of Rasulallah sallallah alaih wasallam. However, there are numerous ayaat and ahadith which forbid Muslims in indulging in anything which may fall in the category of "fawahish" or "Lahw al-hadith (useless/bad things)". Also, there are ahadith which forbid Muslims to see private parts of others. Here are some references:

    قُلْ تَعَالَوْا أَتْلُ مَا حَرَّمَ رَبُّكُمْ عَلَيْكُمْ ۖ أَلَّا تُشْرِكُوا بِهِ شَيْئًا ۖ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا ۖ وَلَا تَقْتُلُوا أَوْلَادَكُم مِّنْ إِمْلَاقٍ ۖ نَّحْنُ نَرْزُقُكُمْ وَإِيَّاهُمْ ۖ وَلَا تَقْرَبُوا الْفَوَاحِشَ مَا ظَهَرَ مِنْهَا وَمَا بَطَنَ ۖ وَلَا تَقْتُلُوا النَّفْسَ الَّتِي حَرَّمَ اللَّهُ إِلَّا بِالْحَقِّ ۚ ذَ‌ٰلِكُمْ وَصَّاكُم بِهِ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَعْقِلُونَ (Al-Anaam: 151)

    قُلْ إِنَّمَا حَرَّمَ رَبِّيَ الْفَوَاحِشَ مَا ظَهَرَ مِنْهَا وَمَا بَطَنَ وَالْإِثْمَ وَالْبَغْيَ بِغَيْرِ الْحَقِّ وَأَن تُشْرِكُوا بِاللَّهِ مَا لَمْ يُنَزِّلْ بِهِ سُلْطَانًا وَأَن تَقُولُوا عَلَى اللَّهِ مَا لَا تَعْلَمُونَ
    (Al-A'raf: 33)

    وَالَّذِينَ يَجْتَنِبُونَ كَبَائِرَ الْإِثْمِ وَالْفَوَاحِشَ وَإِذَا مَا غَضِبُوا هُمْ يَغْفِرُونَ (Ash-Shura: 37) (Traits of believers)

    الَّذِينَ يَجْتَنِبُونَ كَبَائِرَ الْإِثْمِ وَالْفَوَاحِشَ إِلَّا اللَّمَمَ
    (An-Najm: 32) (Traits of belivers)

    وَمِنَ النَّاسِ مَن يَشْتَرِي لَهْوَ الْحَدِيثِ لِيُضِلَّ عَن سَبِيلِ اللَّهِ بِغَيْرِ عِلْمٍ وَيَتَّخِذَهَا هُزُوًا ۚ أُولَـٰئِكَ لَهُمْ عَذَابٌ مُّهِينٌ (Luqman: 6)

    Some Ahadith:

    'Abd al-Rahman, the son of Abu Sa'id al-Khudri, reported from his father: The Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) said: A man should not see the private parts of another man, and a woman should not see the private parts of another woman, and a man should not lie with another man under one covering, and a woman should not lie with another woman under one covering. (Muslim: book 03/667)

    By God, I would prefer to be thrown from the skies and spatterred in parts than to look at someone's private parts or let someone look at my private parts. Narrated by Salman. Almabsooth kitabul istehsan

    Don't expose your thigh to anyone and don't look at the thigh of any person even if s/he is dead. Narrated Ali ibn abi Talib. Ibn e Maja, Abi Dawud, Darqutani. Tafseer Kabeer

    Once someone's thigh was open in public. The Prophet said don't you know thigh is supposed to be kept covered? Jerhad Aslami. Muatta Imam Malik, Tirmidhi, Abu Dawud

    Allah has written for Adam's son his share of adultery which he commits inevitably. The adultery of the eyes is the sight (to gaze at a forbidden thing), the adultery of the tongue is the talk, and the inner self wishes and desires and the private parts testify all this or deny it. Abu Hurairah. Bukhari, Muslim, Abu Dawud.

    So, its quite clear that watching porn or any other material which can be described as fawahish or lahw al-hadith, is Haram, further it is haram to watch other's private parts (except for your spouse). There are SEVERAL more ahadith and ayaat on the topic which I couldn't cover because of time.

    As for Oral Sex. I gave the answer previously, please check it. There isn't any hadith on the topic either. I am not retyping all of what I wrote earlier.

    Regards,
    Abdullah

    • Thank you what ever i said, you have answered it. regards

      • You are welcome, always.

        • Abdullah can you help me with this website, i have tried posting a new post, but it is showing as pending, and is not going through, can you guide me. and is there any way i can message members privately on this site or no... thank you

          • Assalamu'alaikum Anna, there is no way to privetly message members. You have submitted your post correctly. It is now awaiting its turn to be published. Ideally, it will take over 3 weeks to be published, due to the high number of posts pending. Thank you.

            Abu Abdul Bari
            IslamicAnswers.com Editor

          • Thank you abu abdul bari

            it is understandable, thank you for your help as i was needed to have that post soon, i will wait for 3 weeks not a problem 🙂

          • Anna, there is a queue of posts waiting to be published. Yours will be published in turn, Insha'Allah. Probably a month or so, sorry. We do not have any private messaging feature.

            Wael
            IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  24. It is very obvious to have oral sex between a couple...u shud go for it..bt if ur inner concious doesnt permit u to do so...then choice is urs..it is upto ur discretion...wht does islam says regarding it..dnt knw..

  25. Dear Readers,

    What you do with consensus with yr wives is yr own business. Quran forbids anal activity between couples. The rest is shrouded. Those that raise the question of morality shall know that in case husban and wife are alright with oral and do not find it objectionable they should not be forced to think otherwise.

    I sensed many earlier posts trying to inculcate a feeling of disgust in this act. That is not the case. Me and my wife are OK with it as far as foreplay goes. All these morality and immorality equations have been developed by scholars in patriarchial ambience. These perspectives need revision.

    Have a good time. Thanks and peace out.

    P.S: the original post talking abt oral sex should consider resolving the differencs

  26. Dear Waseem,

    You should not encourage the SR in breaking up with her husband. Please advise properly.

    Dear SRehman,

    You must learn to make things work. The responsibility of making the relationship work lies with both the husband and the wife but since you posted here I am assuming you are reading this. Please know that separation or a divorce because of such petty differences is not a good option. Inshallah you will find a way to.overcome this hurdle and emerge as a better and a stronger person. Perhaps you will look back and smile at how small the issue was.

    Have a good healthy and a happy life ahead.

    Best,

    SA

  27. Asalamoalaikum Wa Rahmat Ullah to Everyone,

    Oral sex is today's time topic. If we ask this thing to our grand parent or parents, they will touch their ears with their fingers saying Astaghfar.

    One thing is clear, this is against nature and natural ways to please each other Allah has provided to husband and wife. In these type of forums also, we should encourage people not to force their partner for such type of acts which are not easy for their partner as we are unable to find any clear source from Islam.

    I am suffering with a such rare case where my wife asks me for this despite she is satisfied with the normal sex also and this has made our lives like a hell.

    May Allah give guidance to all of us.

    • We shouldn't blindly follow our forefathers without some reasoning. Some of our elder Muslim parents wouldn't even encourage intimate relations between husband and wife unless it was for the purpose of procreation--so this may not be the reason to make a decision one way or another--as husband and wife are like cloth for one another.

      Above, brother Abdullah's post on April 29, 2013 • 8:02 pm explains the issue of oral sex really well.

      Nothing is clear about it not being natural because we really shouldn't discuss our personal intimate details--but what is prohibited is extremely clear.

      I agree that a husband or wife shouldn't force each other to do something that they do not feel comfortable with--and if that (meaning how you feel) is your reason, then talk to your wife gently. Both of you should have a heart to heart about what you feel and what you want--maybe your wife has come to a point that she feels the romance has plateaued in your relationship and she has become more demanding or just wants more from you--women's desires can increase many-fold later or at different times in marriage and maybe that has just happened with your wife.

      I was really disturbed to read that your life has become the way you described and I pray that Allah solve your problem and I pray that shaitan fails miserably in destroying your relationship with your wife. May you and your wife find much love, respect, and joy in one another inshaAllah very soon, Ameen. Thummah Ameen.

    • WalaikumAssalam WaRahmat Ullah brother Mahmud

      I don't think it is relevant if this issue of oral sex is a recent one or not because Allah revealed to us a magnificent Deen (Deen = complete way of life), which is to withstand the test of time and it has been endorsed by Allah himself to be complete.

      "اليوم أكملت لكم دينكم وأتممت عليكم نعمتى ورضيت لكم الإسلام دينا" (Al-Ma'idah:3)

      What this essentially means is that any issue, new or old, either known to mankind during the time when Quran was revealed or after words or even at the very end of time, shall derive its hukm from the very sources of Shariah which Allah revealed to mankind. We need to be very clear on who actually is describing this Deen to be complete! It is not some scientist nor some researcher nor some historian nor some creation. It is Allah, the creator of time himself who is calling this Deen as complete.

      Therefore, whatever be the matter, new or old, related to personal life or social relationship or economical matter or ruling matter, the hukm shall still be derived from sources of shariah, through the mechanism defined by Allah and taught by Rasulallah sallallah alaih wasallam and practiced by Sahabah.

      I did try to explain my findings on this matter from Shariah prospect, kindly refer to it as I am not going to retype it all again.

      I do understand that among the matters which are halaal, some one might not like some specific things due to personal desire (just as I don't like green or red color) but that does not make it Haram! Thats why I said husband and wife should address this issue themselves clearly if they have personal reservations in a matter rather then finding excuses or forcing each other.

      Honestly, there is no relationship without respect, trust, understanding (and in case of marriage, even love). If after years of marriage, husband and wife cannot resolve such pity matters without making their lives miserable, then I can only advice them to FEAR ALLAH!

      Regards,
      Abdullah

  28. http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/2013/jun/02/michael-douglas-oral-sex-cancer

    Oral sex has been on the mainstream news a lot recently. That should give a lot of us food for thought ! 🙂 Google search 'michael douglas: oral sex

    • I am sorry, but people who constantly practice zinaa and have no consideration for how they engage in intimate relations with all sorts of different people (AsthaghfirAllah!) also end up getting all sorts of sexually transmitted diseases like aids--so does that mean that we shouldn't practice halal intimate relations with our spouses either because there are sexually transmitted diseases out there?

      Who has Michael Douglas and that other woman been with? I would imagine that a Muslim husband and wife shouldn't be compared to these Hollywood actresses and that environment--I actually find this comment offensive for what it insinuates in comparing Muslim couples to Hollywood's affairs!

    • What does Michael Douglas have to do with anything?

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • I get the point. I visited this link. He says HPV( human pappiloma virus) is responsible for his throat cancer. So if there is a direct connection like that... any infection and can be acquired. Practicing Oral sex can be life threatening is what ayesha means. Michael Douglas himself is not the focus here but what he said is a point according to the poster.So it shouldn't offend us.
      What truly concerns me it the theory that women who perform oral sex are at risk for cervical cancer.

      • I understood what she meant as well.

        HPV can be passed on without oral sex. Again--a person can get STIs just by having sexual intercourse (sorry for the language)--so please be careful what you say.

        There is a greater chance to get a STI when having many many partners in bed.

        Examples from Hollywood aren't the best to go by--so I really do stand by my previous point.

        btw, now Michael Douglas is DENYING there is a link between his cancer and the virus anyways--go figure.
        http://www.cbc.ca/news/health/story/2013/06/03/michael-douglas-throat-cancer-hpv.html

        I honestly think further comparisons of these actors/actresses to couples who are not practicing haraam relationships is really not wise--so these comparisons are offensive.

        • yeah I checked that also. he realized that he put his foot in his mouth so he sent his agent for clarifications..Lol

          . we know how dirty this man has been even if his cancer was due to excessive smoking or alcohol. However when I was checking ayesha's link I also happened to read many articles on HPV and oral cancer.the rise in the number is alarming. I think it said type 16 and 18 for these ones.

      • Assalam Alaikum

        I find it interesting how people jump to conclusion without really analyzing the reality.

        I will try to make it simple for those who wish to argue from scientific point of view. Let us break this into simple questions and answer one by one and we shall be able to understand this issue from scientific point of view:

        1) Is oral sex directly responsible for throat cancer?

        Answer: It is not known with certainty. However studies show that people who engaged in this act had more tendency to have this cancer.

        2) Does every individual who perform this act becomes a victim sooner or later?

        Answer: Not at all. Infact throat cancer isn't a major form of cancer at all, it doesn't occur in most humans, the other kinds of cancer are more commonly found among humans and they are NOT related to sexual acts. And there are several other causes of throat cancer as well.

        3) What are STDs?

        Answer: Sexually Transmitted Diseases are a form of disease which transfer from one person to another through sexual acts. Check this link:

        http://www.cdc.gov/STD/healthcomm/fact_sheets.htm

        and you shall be surprised to see that every single STD actually originate through the actual act of intercourse where genitals of both male and female come into contact. Even HPV which could cause throat cancer through oral sex in some cases, actually originates from intercourse. It does not originate from oral sex, it only gets transferred through it. In short all STDs are a direct result of normal sexual interaction where male and femal genitals touch each other!

        4) How does infection transfer from a person to person?

        Answer: An infection is actually carried in human blood mainly but it is also carried in human excretions too, like sweat, saliva, urine, stool, mucus and any other fluid coming from any part of human body. Infection can be transferred or acquired in every action where someone comes in contact with an infected person, directly or indirectly, direct contact could be sexual intercourse, kissing etc. indirect contact could be using clothes and other items used by infected person, drinking or eating from same container which was used by infected person etc.

        Conclusion:

        1) The actual act of intercourse where male and female genitals come in contact with each other is the primary source of ALL STDs!

        2) Infections can be transferred through all acts which are actually recommended for husband and wife (like eating from same source, kissing, touching, taking bath together, washing each other clothes etc)

        3) If you think that Oral sex should be haraam just because in some minor cases it caused throat cancer then question yourself why should any of the sexual act or even living of husband and wife should be allowed if its directly responsible for so many DEADLY diseases like HIV etc???

        A point to be noted:

        As pointed by sister Saba above, the major and main source of any and all STD is actually unsafe sexual practices and more so the Haraam ways of sexual relationships like zina and/or anal sex. Here are two ahadith which give insight into it:

        The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Never does sexual perversion become widespread and publicly known in certain people without them being overtaken by plague and disease that never happened to their ancestors who came before them.”(Reported by Ibn Majah.)

        He (peace be upon him) also said:
        “Whenever adultery becomes a widespread phenomena among certain people, death will spread among them.”(Reported by Malik.)

        Although the sanad of these two ahadith are slightly weak but they are not fabricated. weak ahadith cannot be taken as a single source for driving hukm but they can be taken as a reference, specially when they are just giving some information, like these two.

        Therefore we can safely say that main source of any STD is NOT the halaal acts in sexual intercourse among husband and wife, but it is rather all those actions which are clearly attributed as haraam which cause these STDs and these are actually punishment of Allah to mankind for engaging in Haraam acts!

        So, brothers and sisters, kindly DO NOT attribute any permissible action as haraam until you have an evidence from sources of shariah (Quran, Ahadith, Ijma of Sahabah andvalid Qias based upon daleel from sources of shariah)

        Regards,
        Abdullah

        • JazakAllah Br. Abdullah for taking the time to deliver this information.

          Just a note to sister Ayesha above--one thing I would like to add is that if a person was infected with HPV, no one would want to have any kind of intimate relations with them - let alone oral sex.

          I also think it is laughable that when it is reported that some of these diseases can occur even when a person only has one partner--isn't this a hard fact to prove when the person themself has to report whether they have been with multiple partners or not? I mean, wouldn't these men or women who have these diseases keep that kind of information a secret?

        • thank u for this comment. u are so right and i Always believed the cause of some uncurable std:s are in fact perversion. I wish more could read your quotations because it explains why some are plagued with diseases.I can see what I believed is truth from what the prophet sallalahu alaihe wassalam said. my concern is is oral sex performed on husband right or wrong? cause he really enjoys it and im sure most men do. My husband is my first sexual partner and I want to make him happy but i dont want to do something dangerous.

  29. Many Many thanks sister Ayesha, Saba and brother Abdullah.
    May Allah reward you for this. The information provided by you all is really helpful for me.
    May Allah guide us all the right path and give us Hidayat to understand our life partner.

    Jazak Allah

  30. Iam so pleased with you my brothers and sisters may Allah reward you for a good job.

    am a new beleiver married and i would like to know more about islam.as far as marriage is concerned.
    may God bless you mightly

  31. salam mualaikum i just wanted to know why is oral sex bad and forbidden in islam i just recently converted please reply thanks.

    • maria, if you read the answers given you will see that there is no express prohibition of oral sex in Islam and some scholars hold it to be permissible, while some do not.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  32. Mashallah you people are doing great work________!!
    May Allah help you,
    ::
    ::
    But With due Respect for all the Editors,
    My openion on this topic is that:

    May be Oral Sex is prohibited, Baybe NOT.
    We Don't have any proof, any hadis, any verses of Quran, or any word of any Sahaba About this topic.
    :
    BUT
    One thing we have in Quraan, Hadis, is that
    Husband the se Supreme Power for Wife AFTER ALLAH.
    and in One hadis, Our Prophet (PBUH) said, that if SAJDA was allowed to someone then ALLAH, it would be for husbands from thier wives.
    ::
    NOT ME, NOT Anyone else.

    So IT Proves that After Allah, Husband Gets the Next Place for a women.
    Even Before Prophet Muhammad (PBUH).
    It his Own WORDS.

    So Obay your Husband as his Wish, IF its Not against Allah's Words.
    and if something is not even Confirm, It means
    OBAY The ONE, who's After THE ONE.
    ::
    Anyone Dissagree, I Don't Mind.
    Its Just an Openion that i shared, and it could be helpful (MAYBE).

    May Allah show us the right path.
    Ameen.
    Please Pray for me also.

  33. Assalamu Alaikum all brothers and sisters,

    It has long been a issue and i have read almost 50% of thread with those posts properly formatted and composed.

    Since after all this discussion it has still not concluded to any point whether it is 100% allowed or not.

    Many cases have been made and tried to came to some point but they all were dismissed with another person with valid counter explanation and proofs

    What i have come to a point is that there can no ruling be made on this issue, as its 100% unclear and if a ruling wrongly made and followed, than it will be questioned and punished for all the sins done by followers.

    So there can be no ruling for us. What my point is thou, is that "its all upto you two", provided the filth is avoided. As Allah might forgive 2 person, but may not forgive a person whose responsible for thousands/millions. Oh, and since its all unclear, there is high probability that those 2 will be forgiven if they decided and did this act on their own after having no signs or proof of avoiding it, with no ruling possibly available as well. So everyone gets safe here most probably.

    Regarding the original poster's concern, its a matter of high concern as she is being threaten by her husband. In this case do whatever pleases him expcept taking in the filth. This will not only save ur marriage but your relationship as well. it might filth u in the begining but later on you will become used to it, and your life will be happier onwards. so you can sacrifice just for this act and in return you will have a man with a heart fully open for you as the sexual pleasure brings out the heart of a man with all his soul for his wife. Just negotiate with him that you wont take the filth in, and do the rest as he pleases. He might ask it less frequent later on and your disgust will lower down for this act later on as well, but your relationship will become solid later on for sure and than he will be in your hand soon.

    People, kindly avoid sharing your own experiences, its strictly prohibited and accountable act.
    As i said, your experiences are all upto you, you decide what to do and what not to, just dont cross what is specifically marked prohibited and filthy, and sisters save your marriage dont let your man become unhappy with you just for this one small 5-10minute issue.

    Allah knows the best, may Allah guide us all, ameen.

    JazakAllah

  34. salam dear brothers & sisters
    check the ayats in the qur'an about ,relationship in bed . forbiden the backside for sur
    check on the hadiths where sahabiyat from madina monwara use ask questions like this one to the Prophet pbu him . and they use to learn from THEM.
    sayeda Aisha radia ALLAHo ANHA said so... we learned more , when ladies of madina asked questions to the Prophet pbu him.
    this is not an answer dear sisters and brothers , just a reminding to the beleivers.
    fitna is a big essue .
    better close this essue then bring fitna to the world . its not asking advice to a single person , but .....etc
    sorry
    forgive me
    make doa for me too
    w salam

  35. Asalam Alaikum brothers and sisters.

    I have read most of the post in this thread and my personal opinion is that as muslims, we are so misguided and confused on matters that are so petty that it have made our lives difficult and hard.

    People who are against oral sex have based thier opinions which seems to have been indoctrined to them in their upbringing that they have this dislike for the act of oral sex and beleive that it is prohibited in Islam. In doing so, they are willing to destroy their relationships with their spouses, which in itself is a sin.

    If the husband has a desire for oral sex then it is the duty of the wife to perform it in order to satisfy his needs and vice versa. Failing to do so will create a dissatisfaction and could lead to other sins.

    Islam is not a difficult religion and we should not make it a difficult one. This is my personal view.

    Allah is most forgiving.

  36. Please read this sister/brothers. its simple , as Allah has made a simple religion for all us.. No complication..

    Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 7 Surah Aaraat verse 157:(So, now mercy has been assigned to those) who follow this Messenger, the Gentile Prophet, whose mention they shall find in the Torah and the Gospel with them. He enjoins them to do good and forbids them from evil; he makes pure things lawful for them and impure things unlawful; he relieves them of their burdens and frees them from the shackles (of rites and rituals) that bound them. For this reason, those alone who believe in him, support him, succour him, and follow the Light that has been sent down with him shall attain true ‘success’.

    Let His blessing be upon us...

  37. A long debate could go on and on ... anyhow just to put it in simple words, The permissibility of oral sex can be derived in different ways. I'll put forward one of them to you guys, If the sperm comes out while one is sleeping and dreaming then what is the ruling on that? are you allowed to pray in that state? ... "NO"... Why?, simply because we are not in the state of purity and we have to make ghusl (clean ourselves as prescribed by Shari'ah). When husband and wife have intercourse are they allowed to pray after that in the same state? ...again "NO" ...Why? again the same reason holds to it! .... we all agree upon this, which clearly explains that 'sperm' is something considered as impure, it breaks your wudhu and it makes you impure. So if something is impure if it only comes out and you have to make ghusul for it, then how on earth can you imagine that the very same thing will can be permissible to take in one's mouth by having oral sex?.... The love between husband and wife doesn't mean they can do whatever they want, Not everything is stated in Qur'an or hadith keep that in mind for instance...

    Is worshiping stone permissible?
    Is worshiping a goat or any other animal permissible?
    Are we allowed to have intercourse with an animal?
    Are we allowed to use other materials (God forbid) to seek pleasure other than the halal way of having intercourse?

    and the list goes on ....

    You won't find answer to any of the questions mentioned baove from Qur'an or from an established sunnah. So Qur'an, Sunnah and Hadith and the life of the rightly guided caliphs is the 'REALITY' and we have to return to the reality. This is the only way you will be able to find the answer to everything. And i have explained the state of purity in the beginning which is the 'REALITY' and based on this 'REALITY' you can easily tell if 'ORAL SEX' should be permissible or not?

    And Allah (swt) knows best.

    Jaza'kum'Allah hu khayrn.

    Wassallam.

    • Ahmed, your logic is interesting, but Islam does not go according to your logic. Rather, Islam goes according to proofs from Quran, Sunnah and the sources of Shari'ah. And yes, all those other issues you mentioned are indeed addressed in the Quran, either directly or indirectly.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Salam'alaykum,

      The debate could indeed go on if one were to bring Quranic and/or ahadeeth references but simple logic will be totally useless and will not help you or anyone of us in the least bit. You seem to follow those sort of logics but it seems to be flawed because all those points have been addressed in the Quran, sunnah etc.

      Firstly, if you've read all the above comments, you'll see fatwas and rulings of orals by madhabs etc. some say it is allowed while others say its not allowed and those who say its allowed also said that it is forbidden for the 'sperm' to enter the mouth, so this equals your first arguement.

      Secondly, your assumed points which has no reference in Quran or ahadeeth is wrong as well,

      Is worshiping stone permissible?
      Is worshiping a goat or any other animal permissible?

      In surah Al Baqarah- "..Worship none but Allah and be dutiful and good to parents, and to kindred, and to orphans and Al-Masakin (the poor), and speak good to people and perform As-Salat and give Zakat. Then you slid back, except a few of you, while you are backsliders."

      Are we allowed to have intercourse with an animal?

      In surah Al An'am- "..And do not approach immoralities; what is apparent of them and what is concealed."

      Prophet said "Whoever has intercourse with an animal, kill him and kill the animal. (Tirmidhi)

      and the answers to your questions goes on but I'll stop here, my free time is up lol but this is the reality 😀

      so basically, to sum it up, logic doesn't help us in these matters because our knowledge, wisdom etc is very limited.

  38. Assalamu alaikum,
    brothers and sisters, the sister that ask this question may have already make of her from the answers given as i'm commenting, despite the fact i will still comment; i don't have proof from the qur'an or sunnah but i know that anything that ones culture is not against islamic rulings is accepted as lawful vice-versa, the are some cultures that find this disgusting whilst other not.
    In matters like this that there is no ruling from islamic point of view there should be agreement both parties if on party dislikes it b4 doing it then u as husband/wife don't force it on the other. but if u start it then i think there is no harm to pleases your spouse as brother abdullah said above.
    Wallahu Ta'ala a'alam

  39. Do not forget the rights of Wife either :

    If she is not feeling right or feel disgusting, and there is no direct ruling, its grey, then husband should care for her wife's feelings over his pleasure.

    A good husband in Islam is the one who respects the likes and dislikes of his wife, unless his wife is not willing to do the thing that she must have to do it, or that has been in black and white.... Anything that is grey must be mutually agreed.

    If both agreed and feel pleasure in oral sex, then to be on the safe side, do not cross the limits of taking the fluids inside your stomach, and after having oral sex both should rinse their mouth thoroughly before kissing each other lips.

    A good wife can convince his husband about her not feeling good in oral sex.

    There is no Black and white either in this situation that you may go for divorce.

    If you are finding it hard to make your husband round on this matter, then you just have to avoid the extremities and you may carry on with your dis-likeness.

    If wife disliked a thing during a sex, most likely it will not be carry on for long by husband.

    Rather than thinking of divorce, strive to have polite discussion with your husband that even though there is no black and white ruling in this matter yet you dislike it and you will be much happy if he avoid this.... means friendly discussion .

    You will never find anything black and white in this matter, so it is definite grey.

    • Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

      According to some scholars, maniy is taahir so there wouldn't be a problem with ingesting fluids.

      Furthermore, even if it was impure, there are narrations of people drinking cow urine for health benefits. So I don't see any problem with this.

  40. Asalamu alaikum
    Brothers and sisters in Qur an it states that a man should take his wife and can do anything he likes as well as she can do as she likes in their privacy except for sex in the back (anus), he the husband may come from behind
    Into the vagina.

    As for the oral sex is permissible since it is not mentioned, all that is mentioned is the anus.
    It is very clear that Allah wants husband and wife to enjoy each other, this brings harmony to the marriage, and great health.

    It is known that a healthy sexual life has great benefits as to stress reduction, aerobic health, weight reduction, great younger looking skin, all muscles are used creating mobility, agility, and happy family life for children living in a loving home where husband wife argue less.

    • No where does it say that it's okay to divorce your wife if she does not WISH to do something and neither does it say to FORCE her to do something against her will. Why do you forget this?
      It's not all about a man's pleasure.

  41. now what is more clear than quran itself.
    take the every single word of quran under consideration.
    but unfortunatly we dont do now a days.
    other wise there is guidance for every thing in quran.
    ALLAH said in quran.
    when u have clash between ur self refer ur self to quran.
    answer is there some where hidden only we have to dig it.

  42. may ALLAH give hadaya to every body ameen.,

  43. if a guy was forced to perform anal sex at the age of 11, when his mind was not mature.
    the guy whom i talking was a receiver. So what should now his kafaraa.?

    • rocki, there is no kaffaara because you (or the person you are talking about) did not commit a sin. You were raped. What was done to you was a crime, and you are the victim. If you live in a country that takes such abuse seriously then you should report it to the police. In some countries there is no statute of limitations on child molestation. At least make it public to shame and expose him and perhaps protect other children. You should also see a therapist, as such incidents typically cause mental trauma.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  44. If my husband FORCED me to do something sexual that I did not want to do, I'd rather divorce him even before he threatens me with divorce. Forcing causes emotional and/or physical pain. So the blame would be on the husband for hurting his wife, yes or no?
    Why is it okay for husband to divorce his wife just because she does not wish to do something she does not like yet APPARENTLY it's NOT okay for a wife to ask for divorce if she does not wish to comply?

    Next a man will want the woman to do even worse things but no, a wife MUST comply to "save" her marriage. Clearly no one believes that a man must also "save" his marriage?

  45. Asalam walekum,

    Please reply me on my email I'll be very grateful to you.
    Please don't consider my comments as direspect.
    Regarding your following pints about oral sex
    You said "You won't find a Hadith on this issue, because this was not known in the time of Rasoolullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam. As Shaikh Ubayd says in one of the fataawa above, it has been adopted from the pornographic content. Otherwise, it is not known to be something moral and upright".
    first of all this practice is thousands of years old even in hindism you can see the sclupture of these. second of by saying what you said It makes us prcept that naozo billah Allah does not know the future (not the prophet sallallaho allehe wassalum). that's why Allah subhanaho talah told prophet about the bad things which can be happen in future. please correct me if I'm wrong. secondly it is clear in quran to enjoy sexual life in any way we want except Dabar and during menstruation. and makroh does not make anything haram, it depends on the wish of person unless someone is not taking nijasat in mouth.
    Please correct me if I'm wrong.
    waiting for your reply & needs your duas.
    Dr. Imran

  46. Dear all

    I was also in search of a correct conclusion for convincing my wife .I have searched a lot in internet books and all. It is considered as a complex topic by scholars. Traditional scholars (very older than newly married couples, in my home land) may say no for oral sex because they are shy to speak on that and want to be moooore moral in their speeches. But I can’t find any clear saying that it is haram. Some are saying it because oral sex was unknown on those days. I can’t support that. ALLAH knows everything and QURAN is not only for that days but it’s for the end of the world(Clear).And sex is natural blessing from all for expressing love and intimacy between partners from the first couple. I do not believe that oral sex is an invention by new generation. it must be there...

    I saw some challenges to find the evidence that oral sex is halal. To them
    There are compulsory DO’s (farith) and compulsory Don't DO’s (Haram) in ISLAM (karahat &makhruh are also there).there are listing of both farith and haram things. We are not allowed to be away from farith things and must not practice the haram. We can perform (enjoy) all the things which are NOT HARAM
    In my commonsense listing of non haram things is not a practical thing and not necessary. We can enjoy oral sex because it is not in haram list. ALLAH THE ALMIGHTY prohibits sexual practices like Anal sex, homo sex, vaginal sex with menstruating wife, extramarital sex, exposed sex etc, but NO prohibition for ORAL SEX. If he wish he was able to do that also.
    In Quran Surath al Bakrah it is mentioned that between husband n wife there is no ruling other than anal sex, vaginal sex with menstruating wife and sex on a fasting day. Both husband and wife are responsible for satisfying each other. Wife can also be active and take initiatives to giving and receiving pleasure. Either of the partner is not allowed to stay away from giving pleasure to the other when one is expressing an intention for lovemaking(exception bad health and menstruating wife).It is clearly mentioned for wife to be there with husband when they wish, May be because of men are more expressive. Sex between halal couple is considered as worship and ALLAH will pay you for the love you given to your partner. It is highly recommend the required foreplay before actual intercourse for creating mood on both partners. Islam supports foreplay very much. Some hadith saying that sex without foreplay is animally. In my opinion oral sex is foreplay like kissing hugging etc etc. for husband and wife oral sex creates mood, increases the pleasure and intimacy of both if both are enjoying.
    For enjoying sex both must be clean and find a place so that others can’t watch them. Also describing about lovemaking (sex) with partner to other friends for fun is not allowed for both the partners.
    Some says that our secret part of the body are dirty and not to touch in mouth. But if all najis are cleaned they are same like any other part of the body.It is compulsory for a person to be clean from najis. If you are clean ,your private parts are good as your finger and lips, you can kiss your partners secret areas, there is no problem.
    Some says mouth is for eating food and praying there for not to use it for sex. My opion on that is-
    Every part in our body is having its own multiple functions. We are using our hands also for eating food and for prayer. Is it not allowed to touch the secret areas? Absolutely no. Then you can kiss your partners secret areas for expressing intimacy, creating mood and giving pleasure. In my opinion performing oral sex is only a long kiss. Before and after sex you must clean your mouth and body.
    My message to all the wives especially for the one who posted the question is,
    Al most all men like me and your husband likes to perform oral sex. Men likes to do it for their loving wives. I suppose you are also receiving and enjoying the pleasure of oral sex from your husband.
    Then you can assume what he will get when you doing that. If you are not doing that is missing to him. In my opinion is to give the maximum possible joy to your partner, why some restrictions from your side. give the maximum and get the maximum. In your question it is clear that you personally don’t have any issue on doing oral sex, you are concerned only in religious matter, then I prefer you to perform it enjoy it be a lovely wife enjoy the life, you will payed well by ALLAH.
    Don’t go for divorce for any reason because divorce is the most worst thing which is allowed in Islam.
    If it is makroh to drink the fluid and you want give him full pleasure keep the discharge in your mouth and spit it out and clean after finishing. Stopping just before the ejaculation is other option, but it won’t be that much pleasurable as a full session. That is up to your decision, discuss with your hubby and decide.
    Have a nice day n funny nights
    Enjoy

  47. I ASKED A QUESTION WHICH WAS NOT RESPONDED ACCORDINGLY.
    ORAL SEX IS TOTALLY HARAM IN ISLAM.
    WE SHOULD FOLLOW QURAN TEACHINGS.
    IF WE ARE UNAWARE OF ANYTHING IT DOES NOT MEAN IT IS HALAL IN ISLAM.CHECK WITH
    INTERNET AND SCHOLARS VIEW.

    • Assalam alaikum,

      Read the information above, there is more than enough for you to get clear understanding.

      We can't just say something is haraam--we have to provide proof for that.

    • I think it could be considered as part of a foreplay, as the Prophet (s.a.w.s) has recomended a foreplay between spouses, and it was not his job to teach us every details of all types of foreplays, after he has made it clear to us, what is haram.

      In Islam everything is halal, except what has been clearly mentioned as haram.

      People are different. What looks good to you may look the contrary to someone else. So it's a matter of what pleases each one, as long as it is not mentioned as haram.

      Of course, if one of the spouses does not like what the other likes, they both may want to learn to compromise with no compulsion, as there is no enjoyment with compulsion.

      Allah knows best

  48. Dear SR

    Could you plz tell me what is your conclusion after all these comments.
    what you decided and what you r doing now? and from which country u are?

    Thanks

    good luck

  49. Hello,

    Thank you all who contributed to this thread. Been long I initiated this conversation.

    Those who asked what my conclusion is, I failed to find any clear ruling against oral sex in Islam, so go ahead and enjoy as you please.

    • Assalam alaikum Sister,

      It is good to know that you and your husband are happy with one another. May Allah increase the love between the both of you, Ameen.

    • srehman, I deleted the rest of your comment. There is no need to tell us about your sexual preferences and experience. Be careful of your adab here.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Salaams,

      I bet your husband got a fixation to oral sex by watching pornographic movies, like many of our todays youth. There might not be a clear ruling on the permissibility of oral sex, but can't we use our hikmah? The tongue which you use to do zikr & recite the Quran is used to lick a male /female genital organ, it's very disgusting!!!

      • Using your 'logic' as you say, do humans not use their hands to touch private parts and then use those very same hands to touch the Quran? Islam has given us ghusl for a reason!

      • First of all, the zikr must come from your heart first before even reaching the tongue. However, the same heart which you use to do zikr and love Allah, is used to love a wife/husband. Is this haram? You may say it's not haram since the love is based on halal relationship, and that we love everything in a halal way for the sake of Allah. Yes. If you do everything in a halal way, there won't be anything like associating partnership with Allah by using the tongue/heart for anything of the Dunya purpose.

        Everything you do in a halal marriage (which has not been mentioned as haram) is part of zikr in a way of being grateful to Allah for the blessing of halal marriage. You may see everything as disgusting with your poor worldly thoughts and eyes, but the divine eye and knowledge is beyond the human imagination.

        Secondly, in a hadith of Anas Ibn Malik that has been recorded in both Sahih Bukhari and Muslim and in others,,, didn't the Prophet (s.a.w.s) ordered some people to drink the urine of a camel for a cure purpose? The urine of a camel has went through the mouth and has touched the tongue which is used to make zikr of Allah? You won't know why that is possible until you understand that there is no shyness in what is done in a halal way. If there is shyness there, then no one will feel comfortable with intercourse in a halal way.

        Also, you said

        I bet your husband got a fixation to oral sex by watching pornographic movies, like many of our todays youth.

        That is suspicion and Allah has forbidden it. Allah says: "O you who believe! Avoid most suspicion—some suspicion is sinful..." (Quran 49: 12)

        Muslims do not need to watch pornographic movies to know many thing about intercourse. There are many starnge things about intercourse that Imam Jalal al-Din al-Suyuti has discussed in his book (Nawāḍir al-ayk fī maʻrifat al-nayk). Would you suspect him of watching pornographic movies?

  50. All i know is that there is one logical reason on which we can understand easily that oral sex is prohibited in Islam and that is "man is not allowed to touch Private parts with Right hand, then how can it be allowed to even touch private parts with mouth?" its simple logic we should understand

    • Salaams,

      I personally have never read a hadith or anything else that says it's a sin to touch your private area with your right hand. As far as I know, you can touch your genitals with either hand. The only exception I know of is using the left hand for using the toilet. However, I understood the reason for that is because you don't want to use the hand you eat with (the right) to clean yourself of waste specifically. Using your right hand to scratch an itch or arrange things in your private area is no more forbidden than counting tasbeeh in the left would be.

      Honestly, the burden of proof to say something is "forbidden" is the responsibility of the one stating it, so in this case you would have to bring solid proof that both touching touching the privates with the right hand AND oral sex are forbidden...which so far has not been done. Arguments have been made based on "logic" by stretching certain general principles, but nothing explicitly forbidding either of these has been cited. Without something being named explicitly forbidden, it is permissible.

      -Amy
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • I have asked this from a mufti and he says that oral sex is not considered good in Islam. Oral sex is makrooh-e-tahreemi (i.e. Close to haraam). And the person engaging him/her self in such act will be punished. I would suggest , asking someone who have actually put his life studying islam is better than making own assumptions.
        JazakALLAH.

        • There is more than one view on this Islamically and I suggest that you read ALL of the posts. One in particular is quite far up on this page, and I have pasted it below.

          Also, we cannot deem something haram with no proof.

          Abdullah
          April 29, 2013 • 8:02 pm
          .
          Assalam Alaikum

          I am no scholar but I have been extensively searching for the answer to this same issue for quite some time ever since I got married. I went through several tafaseer of the Ayah which says "Nisaukuim Harthul lakum..." (Al-Baqara:223) then I went through several of the ahadeeth and even explanations of different Sahabah on this matter.

          It came out to me that the ONLY thing which is explicitly and clearly haram is anal sex and other then that nothing has been declared Haram directly in Quran or Ahadeeth or even by the Ijma of Sahabah. (I am purposefully leaving the matter of Qias for the time being).

          Another thing which I found during my research on the topic is that both spouses are stressed upon to make their relationship a happy one and specially there are explicit instructions about making the act of intercourse more pleasurable.

          Now, we all know the hadith which says haram and halaal are clearly mentioned and that there is a grey area in between:

          عن أبي عبد الله النعـمان بن بشير رضي الله عـنهما ، قـال : سمعـت رسـول الله صلي الله عـليه وسلم يقول: ( إن الحلال بين ، وإن الحـرام بين ، وبينهما أمـور مشتبهات لا يعـلمهن كثير من الناس ، فمن اتقى الشبهات فـقـد استبرأ لديـنه وعـرضه ، ومن وقع في الشبهات وقـع في الحرام ، كـالراعي يـرعى حول الحمى يوشك أن يرتع فيه،ألا وإن لكل ملك حمى ، ألا وإن حمى الله محارمه ، ألا وإن في الجـسد مضغة إذا صلحـت صلح الجسد كله ، وإذا فـسـدت فـسـد الجسـد كـلـه ، ألا وهي الـقـلب) رواه البخاري [ رقم : 52 ] ومسلم [ رقم : 1599 ]

          So, considering this hadith and summing up my research on the topic, I came to understand that oral sex is clearly NOT haram because it has not been explicitly being described as haram in the sources of Shariah. However, it cannot be declared as the most desirable act either because there is no mention of any encouragement to this act in particular in sources of Shariah.

          So the debate now, would be if this is a Mubah matter or a Makruh matter.

          Which ever Scholar uses Qias for reaching to his conclusion as Makruh and Mubah or even Haram in this matter would purely be his Ijtihad and definitely will not make a compulsion upon the whole Ummah to follow his words just as there is difference in opinion regarding Nikah and Tallaaq among the scholars and there are several opinions on the matter.

          Now, before someone points this out that the hadith instruct to avoid the grey area too. Let me please make this clear that although there is a reward for avoiding grey area but it does not make it Haram otherwise it would not have been grey area to begin with.

          Now coming to the sister's question. She did not mention anywhere about her personal like or dislike in the matter. She said this clearly that she is confused because she thinks this could be forbidden by Allah.

          The answer to this question is quite clear to me. According to my research, Allah has not described Oral Sex as explicitly Haram but indeed Rasulallah Sallallah Alaih Wasallam encouraged spouses to seek pleasure in intercourse from all Halaal means. So, if your husband (or your wife) gets pleasure out of Oral Sex and you do not dislike it personally, then kindly do what makes your spouse happy.

          Also, let me please point this out too. Makruh is NOT equal or not even close to Haraam! Haraam is something which you shall be accounted for and punished for doing on the day of judgement. On the other hand, there is no sin associated with Makruh. It only deprives you from Allah's pleasure. While being deprived of Allah's pleasure is not a small thing but yet it doesn't make you sinful.

          Brothers and Sisters. Please do not let your marriage end on such simple matters which does NOT constitute Haraam at all and specially when you don't dislike it personally either.

          At the end, I would rather narrate my own personal experience because it seems interesting to me.

          As I said I was initially confused on the matter because I wanted to try it but did not knew Hukm when I got married. My wife plainly wasn't aware of this possibility at all :).

          It took me some months to do all my research on the topic and then I finally sat down with my wife to discuss my findings and it wasn't easy because I had not found a single clear answer

          So, I explained her what I found and then asked her what she thinks on the matter. She said she was disgusted by the very idea. But said she would atleast try it once because I like it (may Allah bless her). So we tried it on each other. Surprisingly enough, after having the experience, she enjoyed it more than me. She said at first it caused her nausea but then she started enjoying it.

          And now after being married for three years, the result is that she still insists on doing it while I myself have lost the pleasure in it. So I don't tell her that I don't like it anymore and let her enjoy what she likes now

          Reason of telling my experience is that, NEVER judge something from your own desire. Hukm of Allah is derived from sources of Shariah and Allah said this in Quran that you may not like some thing even though its good for you and you may like some thing while its bad for you.

          So, again I stress that kindly do not reject a request from your Husband/wife if its not Haraam and if you do not dislike it personally. If you dislike it personally, then thats a different story and in that case you need to sit with your spouse and convince him about it without using Sharia as an excuse.

          In short, do as you or your spouse like to do as long as it isn't Haram!

          Regards,
          Abdullah.

          • My sister the person above is not an Aalim nor a mufti . If you are ill , will you go to a person for treatment who is not a doctor ? What i wrote is not said by me . I have asked from a mufti , if you want any proof you can go and ask them . It was my duty to tell the truth , now its up to you whether to ask a mufti or not . If they (Aalim or mufti) tells you something wrong then they will be responsible for such thing . But it is your duty to search for an able aalim or mufti .

          • It is better that you provide authentic proof of your statement then give a quote from a mufti--I have also studied and listened to Islamic lectures on this that say it is not haram -- conclusion: there is more than one perspective on this.

            I don't want to argue with you--rather I would request that you provide solid definitive proof of your statement as we are to prove what is haram, not what is halal.

            Some people try to argue about intimate relations between a couple by trying to list what is allowed, but indeed this did not happen, RATHER, the list of what isn't allowed is simple, clear and in black and white. We humans, with a mind, can figure out what we can do from a list that states what we CAN'T do.

          • As i said sister , its your decision to believe the stuff on internet or the person who are actually capable of answering this question . Even what i said don't believe but atleast ask from a reputable Aalim or mufti. I will try to find the source but you should try as well. By try i don't mean surfing on internet. Try this site , ask questions there. http://www.darulifta-deoband.org

        • @Brother Essa,

          AsSalaamu Alaikum,

          As a student of shari'a, I am always interested in finding out the principles behind the opinions of the Muftis. Therefore, I'd appreciate it very much if you could ask your Mufti about the principles behind his opinion, and let me know, inshaAllah.

          JazakAllahu Khair.

  51. Dear Sister & Brother,

    I understand if some thing which unable to decide or get result by default
    please adopt below suggestion belive in Allah every thing will come out.

    & please Note: do not take negative, you people have done almost wonderful argue
    why not try this.

    Best solution for all your answer is Istaqara prayer two rakat for three days
    every day make duwa with Allah Guide you right path. 100% for sure you will get
    the result for any thing you like.

    regards

    Mohammed Ali

    • Salaams,

      So you are saying one should perform istikhara to determine if they should engage in oral sex? I suppose that's one way to handle it lol.

      -Amy
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

        • It is observed Issah and Amy always strongly defend & support 'oral sex' :-))

          • Salaams,

            I admit I have no problem defending something I fully believe is permissable. Personally I don't know what benefit people take in trying to make it haraam.

            -Amy
            IslamicAnswers.com Editor

          • AsSalaamu Alaikum Brother J,

            Maybe it would have been fair if you also asked why we strongly defend & support other halal things too. I do not do this base on the thing in itself, but as a student of shari'ah who has at least some little knowledge of shari'ah, and who just can't accept anything to be halal or haram without real and sound evidences. I really must defend and support anything halal, and go against anything haram for the sake of giving knowledge its right - that's how we have been taught by our scholars (may Almighty Allah bless them). As students of shari'ah, our duty is to benefit others with what Allah Has given us, lest Allah reckons us on the day of Qiyamah for hiding the truth or for not given a knowledge its right. What is the point of learning the principles of what is halal and what is haram if we are just going to sit down and watch anyone come and say whatever they like in Islam without proving what they say???

            The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) said: "He who is asked something he knows and conceals it will have a bridle of fire put on him on the Day of Resurrection." (Abu Dawud)

            Again he (Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) said:

            “Whoever hides knowledge by which Allah benefits people in their affairs of religion, Allah will bridle him on the Day of Resurrection with a bridle from the Hell-fire.” (Ibn Majah)

            So Brother J, when you see us defending and supporting something, know that we are giving a knowledge its right, so rather than looking at the act in itself, maybe you should focus on what we are saying and reflect on the evidences given. That is a fair path for acquiring knowledge.

    • MashaAllah for your suggestion Brother Mohammed Ali!

      I think scholars need to relax now and rely on results of Istikhara when deriving rules from the shari'ah principles for new cases, especially when opinions are differed-lol.

  52. Salam sister Saba,

    I understand that its not haram from reading some of the posts. It seems intimacy is very important in a marriage. So what if a person who is looking for a spouce completely hates oral side of intimacy to the extent that they feel sick even to think about it. How do they convey this message to the potential spouce. I mean people seeking a husband or wife usually discuss their likes and dislikes, ambition, future plans etc etc to see if they are compatible. Since intimacy is such a big part of marriage then how will you find out whether you are sexually compatible. I mean a women may have found a pius man to marry and they are compatible but she feels sick or hates oral but the man may desire it or vice versa. Then how will they know? They will only find this out after marriage and then the husband may decide to divorce her because he is not satisfied and the womens life will be ruined.

    So how do you tackle this? Since this is something you only find out after marriage, and then this too late to suddenly change partners because you both want different things.

    • Wa alaikum assalam,

      It is a good question and my point of view is that the couple talks to one another and doesn't force anything upon the other (even if it is halal). Good intimacy comes from good communication.

    • @Sumaira

      Oral sex is not the main sexual satisfaction, but is considered one out of the countless halal sexual foreplays, and therefore should not be part of the things that separate between pious couple. When a spouse does not like a particular type of halal food which the other likes,,,, this should not be the source of divorce between them. Good communication in a relationship is for understanding.

      • Salam,

        I also believe spouces need good communication and understanding in a marriage and also they need to compromise. But what I mean is that we all like different food, for example my ex hubby liked certain that I hated. But I still cooked it for him but didnt eat it. I cooked another dish of my liking. So then we both got what we wanted. But with oral intimacy if one person desires it and the other person is disgusted by it to the point of being phisically sick, then they cannot compromise on it. As the spouse who desires it will not get what he/she wants. Then the onus is on the one who desires to understand and live without it. Now that depends on how much they want it and wheather they are willing to live without it.

        As you can see in this post the op's husband threatened divorce if the wife does not submit to it. Regardless of her reason in this case (what if she found it revolting) he would still say he will divorce if she cannot give him what he wants. I have heard of many cases where the man has complained to his wife, " why didnt you tell me before I married you" If I knew this I would not have married you" then the man divorced her. So mostly with some men they look at material things in a women, e.g appearance, figure, intimacy etc. what is beneath the burka is utmost important to them, but they will only see this after they marry the women. Then what if the man doesn't like it?

        So you can understand why most women feel insecure and distressed when seeking marriage. Do you tell the potential person as much about you as possible? Tell him you have curly hair and not striaght. Tell him you have freckles on your leg? (Examples only)Etc etc, and tell him what you cannot accept in terms of intimacy? So that after marriage the husband will not say, "if I knew this before marriage, I wouldn't have married you". This has happened to some of my relatives and have ruined the poor girls lives (divorce) for no fault of their own.

        • Wa alaikum Assalam Sr Sumaira,

          I really do believe that despite differences and preferences, if a couple has the other person's interest in mind, and not use divorce as a tool to get what you want, then the couple would become a Rehmah for one another.

          Personally, i think there is great hikmah in that Islam does not give a detailed list of what is allowed in the bedroom, but rather a clear-cut black and white list of what is NOT allowed.

          May Allah guide us all, Ameen.

        • Wa AlaiumSalaam Warahmatullah Wabarakaatuh Sister Sumaira,

          I think the separation, which we are neglecting while discussing the issue of oral sex, is the discussion of it in the level of Shari'a laws, and the discussion of it in the level of Adab, in addition to the level of culture.

          1-Shari'a laws. Oral sex is agreed by all the scholars of Islam, that it is mubah, base on the principle that things are mubah in and of themselves initially, so long as they are not mentioned as haram through clear and correct principles in shari'a.

          2- Adab. Oral sex is not considered among the best things that are expected from a pious brother/sister. In other words, there are better things that a pious brother/sister should worry about when they cannot have them, and oral sex is not part of them. Sometimes there could be some behaviours that are mubah but are not expected from people generally, however, acting upon such behaviour will depend on understanding between partners or culture.

          For example, there could be a mubah behaviour, which is considered as childish generally, however, when the partners involved in it are okay with it, then there is nothing wrong with it, and therefore should not be blamed for it. However, when one of the partners involved is not pleased with such behaviour, that should not be the source of separation between them at all-- they need to be mature at this point, and pious Muslim couples are always mature in times of conflicts and misunderstandings, inshaAllah.

          3- Culture. Oral sex in some cultures is a normal thing, and there is nothing wrong with it islamically, since it did not contradict any of the Islamic laws. This is not just about oral sex alone-- there are other cultural differences which do not contradict Islamic laws. Therefore, in such cases, there is no blame for people marrying in a particular culture to point out to the things that are significant for the people (such as women working outside the home, sexual issues, social life issues etc)-- this is why an additional contract is allowed during the marriage contract in Islam.

          • As for the different preferences in foods, definitly it does not happen in all foods-- there are still countless of mubah foods out there. The couple can agree on eating only the mubah foods that they both enjoy. However, there is no harm when they choose to try eating what the other likes some times, to see if they could like it someday, but if not, there is no blame for any of them-- they should always understand each other and avoide selfishness. In fact, what they both enjoy eating, could be the most enjoyable food to them on earth, and most importantly, there is always much baraka in the foods they eat and enjoy together, according to the sunnah.

        • I agree with you

  53. hi i want to ask how can i stop watching pornographic films i had resisted a lot but utmost i can resist not more than 1.5 months please help me with guide lines to remain away from this sine

  54. Muhtaram,
    ASSALAMU-ALAIKUM

    Oral sex is not permitted in terms of Shari'ah. It does not behove a Muslim to use for such a filthy purpose the same mouth that he/she uses for the tilaawat of the Qur'aan, Zikrullah, Durood, etc. It is stated in Fataawa Aalamgiriyah:-

    “The act of a man inserting his reproductive organ into his wife's mouth is considered to be highly reprehensible." (Fataawa Aalamgiriyah vol.5 pg.372).

    Furthermore, many a times’ “mazhi” (a thin discharge) is emitted from the penis when a person becomes aroused. A type of wetness also comes out of the woman's vagina. Both of these are impure. This impurity enters the mouth while having oral sex. This would hence be another reason for it not being permitted. In fact, such acts (whereby no distinction remains between pure and impure) are an insult to the honour and dignity of human kind and are more akin to the acts of lowly animals.

    Sex is an act that has taken place from the time of Hadhrat Aadam alaihis salaam and the different sexual positions and techniques prevalent in the world have not necessarily been introduced by the kuffaar. In fact, even the Qur’aan gives leeway for the various sexual positions; as stated in Surah Baqarah: “Your woman are your tilth, therefore approach them from whichever position you wish." (2:222). And, if for argument’s sake, the various sexual techniques had been introduced by the kuffaar, that does not imply that because Islâm accommodates these techniques, it would also accommodate oral sex! The permissibility of certain acts prevalent in the world can only be accommodated if they are not symbolic characteristics peculiar to the kuffaar and/or do not violate and contradict the injunctions of Shari’ah. Therefore, if, for reasons of expedience and benefit, some acts initiated by the kuffaar are permitted in Shari’ah, that does not give blanket permissibility of allowing all the habits and acts of the kuffaar. No sensible, level-headed Muslim will dare to say for instance, that masturbation, sex during Haidh, anal sex and homosexuality should be allowed in Islâm simply because they are acceptable by the kuffaar! That is because he knows that these despicable acts have been condemned in Islâm!

    Oral sex will thus be condemned in Islâm because it involves taking the mouth close to the place where it is not meant to go, i.e. to the filth of vaginal discharge and seminal emission of the penis. It is the sexual organs that should be mutually used by a married couple for purposes of sexual gratification and not parts of the body such as the tongue and mouth that enjoy the noble prestige of hymning the praises of Allah Ta’aala, reciting the Qur’aan, etc.

    AND ALLAH TA’AALA KNOWS BEST

    • "It is the sexual organs that should be mutually used by a married couple for purposes of sexual gratification and not parts of the body such as the tongue and mouth that enjoy the noble prestige of hymning the praises of Allah Ta’aala, reciting the Qur’aan, etc."

      To hold and turn pages in the Quran, we use our hands and fingers, so when you state the list included in the phrase "parts of the body such as...", does this include the hands and fingers?

  55. If the oral sex is done just for the sake of stimulation with a condom on organ.and discharge ends up in vagina? What will be the ruling of hanfi fiqah?

    • Salaams,

      The best place to get a ruling according to Hanafi fiqh is from a qualified scholar in that madhab. None of us here are scholars at all, let alone Hanafi scholars.

      -Amy
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • hi there !!!
        just wanted to ask a question, although it is answered many times here.
        But my situation needs attention and i need help in this matter.
        I have married ( Islamic Nikah) with a christine lady and
        she wants me to have oral sex. I am a bit hesitant ,because
        i am not sure about the islamic ruling. Kindly, help
        mw with this matter , whether i can do it or not. Some times
        we have harsh arguments , makes life uneasy.
        i think u understand what i mean , otherwise i
        can explain what i want to say !!!

  56. Assallam o aliqum thanks to all ...
    Saba sis u do it gr8 job do it m really impressed ur comments ..

  57. All of you are talking about is whether it is allowed or not.it is a matter that wont get resolve in next eras probably so leave it on individuals.all of us possess minds given by Allah so ponder upon your act and consider circumstances.the matter to talk is why one needs This way of sex.what is the reason of this desire even he or she has the proper way announced by religion boldly...is she or he not getting satisfaction from partner??are you being partner care about your spouse 's desires???r u really satisfying him or her. we really need to think and read our own Thanks

  58. Dear sister, My findings of oral sex are as follows:
    1. Since it is not clearly prohibited in Islam, it is permissible.
    2. Do oral sex but when the time comes for ejaculation let this be out of mouth to maintain hygiene.
    3. Ensure taking a bath before the time you want to spend enjoying oral sex, to maintain full skin cleanliness.
    4. Oral sex was present at the time of Prophet's (PBUH) life. He kept silent on it for some reason we do not know but most obviously that it is not HARAM. If it was HARAM the Prophet (PBUH) would clearly had prohibited it. NO HARAM IS LEFT UNEXPLAINED IN ISLAM.
    5. Try to be friendly with your husband and spend your time in great pleasure as there is no one for you other than him and you should not leave there chance for him to look for someone else but you. As far as you can please him within your bedroom with something like oral sex which is not HARAM, do not be rigid and be a flexible love able wife for him. You will bear its great fruits soon.
    Regards

    • Sanam: Do oral sex but when the time comes for ejaculation let this be out of mouth to maintain hygiene.

      What about Pre-ejaculate a clear, colorless, viscous fluid that is emitted from the urethra of the penis during sexual arousal. It is similar in composition to semen

      • Keep a tissue paper ready with you to deal with this fluid. It all depends on your and your partner's experience, understanding and care for each other that you tackle with all these small issues during this time and keep enjoying.

  59. If he doesn't treat you with respect and doesn't respect your wishes then you don't want a man like that in your life. You two are equals in this relationship.

  60. He is wrong in forcing u that is wrong...but he is also right that there is no clear ruling pn this thing...no alim has said or declared it has haram...all people say about it is that it is makrooh because of the fluids that enter ....but as far as science is concerned those fluids are perfectly healthy to digest as long as the person you are digesting it from is not suffering from any disease....the people here saying people who throughly have oral sex develop the mouth cancer but that is also false...cancer can only develop if either you pr your partner has some disease....or even if ur mouth bleeds(maybe from ur teeth)...so my point is that if both the wife and husband wants it then i dont think there is any reference that stops u from doing that whether it is islamic pr scientific

    • Hafsa, can you tell me why they even declared the semen as "Makrooh?"We all eat the Cock's and goat's semen happily. We fry and cook the bull's and goat's "balls" on Eid-ul-Adha which is a very much loved dish especially when cooked with kidneys, liver, spleen etc. The eggs are considered cholesterol free only when they contain the semen of cock in it. There is no indication in Islam or science that eating animal sperm has anything wrong.
      How can be the human's semen be Makrooh and animals' halal?
      It is only the matter of a girl's openness and mental flexibility to the taste of human semen that she accepts it or no. Settling the details of oral sex solely depends on the level of understanding and love of a girl to his man and of a man to his girl.

  61. Please have a look at this article. It explains in detail that oral sex is allowed by with a condition that fluid should enter other's mouth as a rule of thumb.
    Those who say Makrouh; bcz tounge is used for recitation of Quran, dhikr of Allah & drood on His prophet PBUH; should not be used for lickering of such private parts

    http://muslimyouthpk.com/issue-of-oral-sex-in-islam-my-blogs/#.VcUjk4EcBFt

    • This link clearly declares the humans sperm as "filth" and "dirty thing" which is totally against the nature of creation. Who of you would like to accept that that he is created with "filth"? Again I repeat that all of the male members of the muslim Ummah happily eat the sperm of animals that is filled in the goat's and bulls' balls and hens' eggs. And never consider it a "filth" and "dirty thing" at that time.......the matter is simple. Quran and Hadith are silent on this topic so if one considers it for him impermissible he is free and the one who permits it for him he is also free.
      Second: mouth is washed in wadoo (ablution) like hands are washed after a person washes himself in the washroom and all the unclean particles are washed away. The same hands are used to hold Quran after being washed clean.

      • Sanam: Again I repeat that all of the male members of the muslim Ummah happily eat the sperm of animals that is filled in the goat's and bulls' balls and hens' eggs. And never consider it a "filth" and "dirty thing" at that time....

        You have a good logical argument. I would like to add semen coming out of penis uses the same duct (urethra that is about 8" long) that brings urine out, so semen comes into contact with urine leftover on the inner lining of the duct.

        Boiling kills any bacteria clinging to animal testicles or kidneys or spleens or eggs people eat.
        Kidney and spleen and liver have some waste products because these organs remove waste products from blood.

        Just an additional information. It is not about who is right and who is wrong.

        • Basically my point was not that you should eat the human sperm. But I was just clearing the fact that it is not haram. Oral sex is a means of joy in the foreplay and not actual sex. But to keep it a pleasing act with relaxed nerves,the only thing needed is the understanding that it is not haram or even makrooh.

          • Not sure did any one research when first Oral sex was practiced in human history ?

            I mean was it so common in olden days or it has started in recent years along with porn evolution ?

  62. Asalam o alaikum. Sister.
    I myself once was searching for the answer on this issue and what I found was shocking. Although there is no ruling and clear light on what a husband and wife are alowed to do other than that it is prohibited to do intercourse in menses and to panetrate analy.
    Now the ruling of islam is that if something is not prohibited nor alowed aren’t to be questioned. Because they aren’t forgotten, just left unsaid. So we are not to ask questions like bani israel.
    Now coming to your question, wheather or not oral sex is haram or not? The thing is that the secreations, or sperm is haram and should never be swallowed. So if your husband wears a condom than I think it breaks no rules And therefore not haram. So makruh! because these practices weren’t common in Prophet’s (pbuh) time. Besides they were pure men of God and they only married to keep chaste and not for pleasure. Prophet(pbuh) said" if I were to order anyone of you to do sajda in front of anyone other than Allah swt, I would order a woman to bow to her husband". Once a sahabi was traveling with Prophet(pbuh). When they reached near Madinah, he was in a hurry to go home. Prophet(pbuh) stopped him and said let them comb their hair etc and get ready for you, then He asked whome have you married, the sahabi replied an elderly women (who was divorced or widowed. Pardon me I dont remember this detail) Prophet(pbuh) then replied" why didnt you marry a young girl, who would play with you and you would play with her" . What I mean from this hadith is that Prophet(pbuh) prefered a woman who would play games with her husband and keep him happy. Once Prophet (pbuh) said" the best woman is the one who would make her husband’s heart joyful with just one glance". And He (pbuh) said" if a husband calls her woman to bed and she doesn’t oblige, the whole univers’e creatures would curse her all night" He (pbuh) again said "a man who looks at women outside his home or is seduced because his wife doesn’t pay attention to her heigene and apearance then that women is given equal gunah, sins as the man himself".
    So my dear mominah sister,I beg you not to ruin your marriage for such a vapid problem. If not goes into your mouth then its not haram.As far as the heigene and medical issues are concerned, they can be taken care of by washing etc. You should thank Allah that your husband doesn’t go out with other women. If you want to be a good muslim wife then please your husband. Prophet(pbuh) said " if a woman keeps the hadoud Allah and protects her chastity and her husband’s house,bed and property and obeys her husband and raise her children well than she can enter the jannah from which ever gate she wants to".
    So my advice to you is that you reconcile with your husband and make a nice dinner, dress up for him. Show him that you love him. Prophet(pbuh) said that" you will never witness a love as such that is between two people in the bounds of nikah"and " if two muslim brothers querel, the one who says salam first, is better than the both of them".
    I hope my reply will clear things up for you and may Allah keep you and your husband happy and may Allah strengthen your bond and increase your love inshAllah.

    • Arwa:: Now the ruling of islam is that if something is not prohibited nor alowed aren’t to be questioned. Because they aren’t forgotten, just left unsaid. So we are not to ask questions like bani israel.
      Now coming to your question, wheather or not oral sex is haram or not? The thing is that the secreations, or sperm is haram and should never be swallowed. So if your husband wears a condom than I think it breaks no rules And therefore not haram.

      Is there any ruling of Islam about if sex with animals is prohibited?

      Condom is a new product and is supposed to be used for birth control. Also before invention of condom oral sex was haram

      Sex is meant to procreate. Putting penis in mouth is not natural. Even animals don't do it

      • Dear brother SVS, there are many other comments which explain this situation far better than me. I am totaly capable of arguing until forever but I joined this site to help my brothers/sisters not to argue with anyone. I am not a muftia nor a scholar, I am someone who has a little bit more knowledge of islam than an average muslim by the grace of Allah swt.
        If I argue with you now, it won’t be for the sawab or to explain the islam, it will be for my own ego...
        the prophet (S.A.W.) warned us in an authentic hadith reported by Imam At-trimithi, “A people did not get misguided after Allah had guided them, but they were aimlessly argumentative.” Abandon useless arguments even if the truth is on your side to prevent useless argument-full conversation. The prophet (S.A.W.) says in another authentic hadith reported by Imam Abu-Dawud, “I guarantee a house in the surroundings of Paradise for the one who stopped being aimlessly argumentative even if he is right.”
        May Allah bless us all and guide us towards the right path. Ameen.

      • Arwa and SVS, Only thing I want to say is that you do not come and say that oral sex is haram and sperm is haram. ARE YOU CREATING RULING OF ISLAM? DON"T SAY ANYTHING HARAM AS THIS IS NOT YOUR JOB. There is no ruling that these two are Haram.. If Allah kept silent on a topic you want to come and declare it haram? You simply have no authority for that. So, please keep away from such bold declarations or you will be asked by Allah "Why you forbid things I did not?"

  63. Of course it is prohibited since the Quran says the ' seed shall not be wasted' and that is why masturbation is
    prohibited.

  64. Dear sister sanam. Asalam o alaikum. As you can see from my comment I said the same thing that if the shariya is silent on a matter then we are not allowed to ask questions like bani israel. Its not forgotten but left alone as a mercy on us. You are very correct dear sister. Some rulings are non of our business besides I already said that I am not a muftia nor do I want to argue.
    May Allah keep us all on the right path. Ameen.

    • My answer is to all that if sex was only allowed in vagina and not through other similar parts so how can you think it would be allowed with mouth.How can anyone argue that it is not mentioned in our religion when we are strictly prohibited to have sex from any other part other then vagina.Although you can change the positions for pleasure
      but none other part than vagina clearly mention by Islam.

  65. He doesn't love you. If it were me I would refuse oral and sex all together. He uses women. Also a man that wants to share himself with more then one woman does not respect women. It is nasty.

  66. You should response as your husband says in your situation. Husband will responsible of thos act in front of GOd.

  67. OP: I refused to do that but he gets angry on me and not only he separated his bed, he stop talking to me as well.

    May be that is the only "sex" he can do? Oral sex does not require a good erection. You posted in 2012. Has any thing changed for you?

  68. Dear's All
    You remember that if Najis or Fluid which is causing Naa Paak your self touch your clothes or any body parts you are allowed as the Genitals are Pak other wise you can't pray so if some one play the genitals with out taking Najiss fluids in the mouth there is no harm as logically other wise your genitals may not allow you for Wudhu as well if they are dirty.Couple can play till sperm/fluids come into mouth which is not allowed.
    BR

  69. Dear sister, Allah is the most merciful and forgiving and kind .. All the good words are sure exists for Allah SWT.
    I have searched on this matter a lot and have not found anything that says it is haram or clearly says its halal.
    However, most of the scholars assume this as a permissible act as long as both spouses enjoys it mutually and have no problem performing it .
    We don't see anything in the Quran that clearly forbids us from this, when on the other hand it tells us in the Quran to not to practice anal sex and sex during women's menstrual period. In my believe, if this (oral sex) was forbidden then Allah SWT would have send us the message in the Holly Quran as it mentions and clarifies other sexually forbidden things in Quran .

    You mentioned that your husband forces you to do so. Now, this is wrong because Allah SWT says that whatever pleases you both (sexually) is permissible as long as it is not anal sex or sex during the menstrual cycle, but it has to be mutually decided and both spouses must be agreed to do so. If it doesn't please you but you do it just because your husband is forcing you then he will be accountable for that and of course Allah SWT knows better ...

    • Pari Bano: You mentioned that your husband forces you to do so. Now, this is wrong because Allah SWT says that whatever pleases you both (sexually) is permissible as long as it is not anal sex or sex during the menstrual cycle, but it has to be mutually decided and both spouses must be agreed to do so. If it doesn't please you but you do it just because your husband is forcing you then he will be accountable for that and of course Allah SWT knows better

      Wife is not doing oral sex because she thinks it is haram. She is concerned about ingesting fluid that comes out of penis during sexual arousal (erection). This fluid is called pre-ejaculate and contains sperms It is not about liking or not liking, it is about if it is haram or not.

  70. I don't get why is everyone making this simple issue so complex for her!
    There are two things one is haram (disobeying your husband) and the other is makruh- disliked(oral sex) what would you go for??
    Please don't think of seperation just because of these issues if they were THAT important prophet SAW would have definitely talked about them. Pray for your husband but don't disobey him. And there was these hadith that advices to make religion easy to people do remember that when you guys are answering people!

  71. Fitwa to nh de sakhta ap ko bcz m not mufti but ache maa . Baap se or famabardar bacho se bura husband he behtar hae ......dnt destroy ur life...MOHAMMAD(SAWS) k nazdeek divorce sab se na pasandeeda baat tee ALLAH par tawakkal rakhe jo hona hae ALLAH par chor den plzzz dnt destroy ur life pray for ur husband

  72. Sister leave him how can he be your husband if he forces u do to such act and goes to extreme lengths if you dont leave him he sounds lile a mad man you seem really pure

  73. Where Allah said in the Quran that Anal sex is Haram ???

  74. In the Hadith, It has been forbidden and condemned by the Prophet Muhammad (sws) or in the Quran ???

    If in the Quran, where ???

    • Allah says, "O you who believe, obey Allah and His Messenger ... " [Al-Qur'an 8:20] "Say: obey Allah and obey the Messenger ... " [Al-Qur'an 24:54] He says, "Obey Allah and the Messenger and perhaps you will be shown mercy." [Al-Qur'an 3:132] "If you obey him, you will be guided ... " [Al-Qur'an 24:54] "Whoever obeys the Messenger has obeyed Allah ... " [Al-Qur'an 4:79] "That what the Messenger brings you and leave what he forbids you ... " [Al-Qur'an 59:7] "Whoever obeys Allah and the Messenger is with those whom Allah has blessed." [Al-Qur'an 4:68] "We did not send any Messenger but for him to be obeyed by the permission of Allah." [Al-Qur'an 4:63]

      And Allah says, "Take what the Messenger brings you." [Al-Qur'an 59:7]

      Allah talks about the unbelievers in the depths of the Fire saying, "On the day when their faces are turned over in the Fire, they will say, 'Would that we had obeyed Allah and that we had obeyed the Messenger.' " [Al-Qur'an 33:66]

      As for the obligation to follow the Prophet and obey his Sunnah, Allah says, "Say: if you love Allah, follow me and He will love you and forgive you your wrong actions." [Al-Qur'an 3:31] "Believe in Allah and His Messenger, the unlettered Prophet who believes in Allah and His words. Follow him, perhaps you will be guided." [Al-Qur'an 7:157] "No, by your Lord, they will not believe until they ask you to judge between them in what they disagree about and then they shall find in themselves no impediment touching your verdict, but shall surrender in full submission." [Al-Qur'an 4:64]

      Allah also says, "You have a good model in the Messenger of Allah for one who hopes for Allah and the Last Day." [Al-Qur'an 33:21]

      Abu Salamah ibn 'Abdur-Rahman heard Abu Hurayrah say that the Messenger of Allah (sws) said:

      "Whoever obeys me has obeyed Allah. Whoever rebels against me has rebelled against Allah. Whoever obeys my Amir has obeyed me. Whoever rebels against my Amir has disobeyed me."
      Muslim and Al-Bukhari

      And the Prophet said:

      "When I forbid you to do something, avoid it. When I command you to do something, then do it as much as you are able." - Muslim and Al-Bukhari

      In the hadith of Abu Hurayrah we find that the Prophet said, "All of my community will enter the Garden except for those who refuse to." They asked, "O Messenger of Allah, who will refuse?" He replied, "Whoever obeys me will enter the Garden. Whoever rebels against me has refused." [Al-Hakim]

      *****
      There is much more on this subject in the Quran and Sunnah. But this should more than answer your question. The command to obey the Prophet is clearly stated in the Quran. Therefore if the Prophet (sws) prohibits something, no knowledgeable believer would say, "But is it in the Quran?"

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  75. I wouldnt give advice (or hint in that direction) on this matter so easily.
    Divorce is a sin (may not be harm if good reasons, but it is a very bad thing to do).

    And offcourse "forcing" something, not listening to his wifes feeling is bad, and also something a husband would have to answer to Allah on day of recogning.

    But oral sex is not haram.
    As partly said, there is nowhere in any of the hadiths that oral sex is specificly mentioned as forbidden.

    But incorrect that oral sex is not mentioned. It is mentioned in passing through foreplay, touchings, obligations to give orgasm (although last topic is about husbands obligation to touch his wife, and to try to give her orgasms).
    Oral sex is nothing sci fi, it has nothing to do with pornindustry or western pervertion.
    There are plenty of hadiths that talk about importance of stimulation and enjoying sex with each other.
    But no hadiths is not written as some dirty sexnovel where paints explicit picture of touch this, then touch that untill the wife gives this sound, and then whisper this dirty word, before doing this. No no and no.
    So do not expect hadiths to give explicit info on all kinds of touches, etc.

    The hadith also have given info about having to wash part or full if diffrent parts get in contact with the mans organ/semen.

    But there are diffrent opinions from diffrent schoolars.
    It is not that its not in the hadith, it is that it is not detailed described, and then many wonders and one gets diffrent viewpoints on what is not mentioned, by diffrent scoolars.

    Anal sex is mentioned, as haram.

    And to young naive people. They knew what sex was thousands of years ago also, it is not invented by western modern society;)
    Oral sex is not unthinkable at all. Most of the pleasureberves for reaching orgasm is in vagina area in a woman.

    There were plenty of old ancient cultures with alot of sex knowledge.
    Islam has choosen to not draw explicit pictures. But mentioned anal sex explicitly since its haram.

  76. oral sex may cause cancer

  77. Shaikh Albani Rahimahullah: Says it is Prohibited
    http://www.fatwaonline.com/fataawa/marriage/sexualrelations/sre003/0091016.htm)

    Shaikh Ubayd al Jabiree:
    http://www.fatwaonline.com/fataawa/marriage/sexualrelations/sre003/0090814.htm)]

    While Shaikh Abdullah bin Munee: Says that it is Disliked:
    http://www.fatwa-online.com/fataawa/marriage/sexualrelations/sre003/0030726.htm)

    When these Great Scholars (but no scholar) has no authentic answer regarding Oral Sex till date.. Whenever questioned they cleverly Manipulate & slip off from the Question & sittuation both.. Leaving the Ummah in a Fix & confusion, is this not a Sin..?? They should hold a Workshop & brief meeting among them regarding the concerned issue & should come with a clear vision & answer to the Ummah, But should not engage in personal war of Ego's & mislead people...

  78. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth (Have sexual relations with your wives in any manner as long as it is in the vagina and not in the anus), when or how you will, and send (good deeds, or ask Allaah to bestow upon you pious offspring) for your ownselves beforehand. And fear Allaah, and know that you are to meet Him (in the Hereafter), and give good tidings to the believers (O Muhammad).” [al-Baqarah 2:223]

    From the word harth (tilth) we understand that what is permissible is only in the vagina (the front passage), especially because this is what will produce children. The semen that is planted in the womb from which offspring come is likened to the seeds which are planted in the ground, from which vegetation comes, as both of them are substances from which something else is produced.

    The phrase translated as when or how you will means, in any manner you wish, from behind or from the front, sitting or with the wife lying on her back or on her side, so long as it is in the place of tilth (i.e., the vagina, the place from which a baby is born).

    The poet said:

    The wombs are lands for us to till; we have to plant the seeds and whatever grows is up to Allaah.

    It was reported from Khuzaymah ibn Thaabit (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah is not too shy to tell you the truth: do not have intercourse with your wives in the anus.” (Narrated by Imaam Ahmad, 5/213; a hasan hadeeth).

    Ibn ‘Abbaas said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah will not look at a man who has intercourse with his wife in her anus.” (Narrated by Ibn Abi Shaybah, 3/529; narrated and classed as saheeh by al-Tirmidhi, 1165).

    See Nayl al-Maraam by Siddeeq Hasan Khaan, 1/151-154.

    If a man does this, his wife is not considered to be divorced as many people think, because there is no shar’i evidence at all that indicates this. But the scholars said that if a man habitually does this, his wife has the right to ask for a divorce, because he is an evildoer (faasiq) who is causing harm by his action, and also because the purpose of marriage cannot be achieved through this action. The wife has to resist this evil action and remind her husband about Allaah and about the punishment for transgressing the limits set by Allaah. If the husband repents to Allaah from this deed, there is no reason why she should not stay with him, and there is no need to renew the marriage contract. And Allaah is the Source of strength.

  79. Sister..

    islamic views on oral sex are grey... but you and your husbands situation is clear.. Instead of divorce you must do oral.. There is no Gunah for you in this position.
    BUT Anal is totally forbidden. Even ending with divorce you must say sorry anal is forbidden. Oral in your position is free. Oral chages to situation. in your position YOU CAN DO İT...

  80. Asalam wa Alikom wa Rehmatullah,

    In Islam, Intercourse during menses and Anal insertion with penis is forbidden.

    Except these, every thing is allow with mutual consent.

    Medically both of you take care if any of you is infected with STD.

    Otherwise Ok.
    Both of you are lucky, don�t worry and enjoy your sex life.

    Saying it that makrooh is just hyper- theoratical, there is no evidence on it. Just matter of option.

    Allah allow spouse to enjoy as they want, but forbidden anal n menses sex.
    "Your wives are a place of sowing of seed for you, so come to your place of cultivation however you wish and put forth [righteousness] for yourselves. And fear Allah ...(2:223)"

    Allah knows best.

  81. Not mentioned any where doesn't means that i wasnt in practice before or prophets time may be people didnt make it some thing big and followed the teachings of prophet that enjoy with ur wife except two thing when on periods and back passage, except those two nothing is haram, i am not deciding its haram or not nor supportung it but where its about the impurity when you rinse body and mouth with water it purify every thing thats the nature of water and yes if ur husband challanges you to prove its prohibited never challange in return to prove its allowed dosent make sense, when some thing is not mentioned means its not important to discuss, simple. Allah and Prophet (SAW) can not ever miss any thing which is important to be discussed and told in islam not possible so if its not mentioned means not important or its your own choice do it or leave it.

  82. The eminent Muslim scholar, Sheikh Yusuf Al-Qaradawi states:

    “I was asked about oral sex in America and Europe when I began to travel to these countries in the early 70s. We are not used to be asked these questions in our Muslim countries. Those Western people are accustomed to stripping naked during sexual intercourse. These are communities of nakedness, and from the licentiousness of the woman that she wears nothing to screen her body in her daily life.

    So, they are in need of more excitements during copulation. However, men in our Muslim societies see nothing in the Muslim woman that can excite them on the basis of her wearing either Hijab (veil) or Niqab (face cover). But concerning whether being in complete nakedness during practicing copulation is lawful or not, the Prophet of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, is reported to have said, "Guard your private parts except from your wife or your slaves."

    Muslim jurists are of the opinion that it is lawful for the husband to perform cunnilingus on his wife, or a wife to perform the similar act for her husband (fellatio) and there is no wrong in doing so. But if sucking leads to releasing semen, then it is Makruh (blameworthy), but there is no decisive evidence (to forbid it).

    These parts are not dirty like anus, but it is ordinarily disgusting to man. But there is no decisive evidence to make it unlawful, especially if the wife agrees with it or achieves orgasm by practicing it. Allah, Exalted and Glorified be He, says: "And who guard their modesty, save from their wives or the slaves, that I heir right hands possess, for then they are not blameworthy, but Who so craveth beyond that, such are transgressors.” (Al-Mu'minun: 5-7)”

    In the light of this, scholars maintain that the husband is allowed to enjoy his wife through any means of enjoyment except anal sex, for that is strictly forbidden.

  83. Leave him! If you don't want to have oral sex with him, that's non consensual... I'm not sure where you live but where I live (the US) that is rape (since he coerced you to do it with the threat of divorce) and it is a crime. I'm pretty sure that Islam does not condone rape either... You are better off without this man.

  84. Hi I am a Muslim but my faincee is Christan she want I do after marriage oral sex like kissing and little things tell me is it right in Islam ?

  85. Asalam alequm.sister I have read your problem and I can understand your position, I also tried to find answers on Tha matter but same I couldn't find clear ones.but according to my own thinking Islam Said " aurat tmhari kheti hai to tm jis trha chaho us Mai jao" and " aurat ko apny husband ko khush rakhna farz hai" so I guess to make your husband pleasure and to make him stop doing haram with other women wife can do this.coz if wife refused to do so may b he go to other women to get pleasure so what the good to have wife?

    • Dear sister no were in the Quran of sunnah hadiths does it prohibit specifically oral sex or promote it. and as far as the Muslim scholars are concerned they have added their own meaning to it some discourage it whereas others say it's fine. Please fullfill all his sexual desires otherwise he is likely to commit adultery. You are deceiving yourself by not fulfilling his sexual needs and then u think that u are 100 percent innocent? Let me tell u in advance something if ur husband commits adultery tomorrow what then u gonna realise it was ur fault so you better fullfill his urges before he cheats on u because his own wife can't be bothered to fulfill his sexual needs

  86. I think that there was a purpose for the creation of all body parts that we have. There are men that want to discharge in their wives’ mouth and prefer mouth since they find it tighter than vagina. Point is, oral sex leads away from what one should be doing with their genitals ie inserting them in each other for the purpose of procreation (and enjoyment) and kissing our spouses. Hadith proves that Muhammad (pbuh) and Ayesha had not seen each other’s privates so I am sure they didn’t engage in oral. That would be our biggest objective - to do what Muhammad (pbuh) did in matters of uncertainty.

  87. The person who says its haram or prohibited has to bring proof not other party. The proof must be strong .and direct otherwise its opinion of scholarls.

  88. A husband is allowed to enjoy his wife as he pleases only exceptions are anal intercourse and intercourse in the female sexual organ while menusurating. I don't see the reason why this sister has to panic so much especially when her husband is using a barrier namely a condom. It is just stupid to even think of divorcing ones husband for such simple things.

    It is wrong on the wife's part to refuse sexual intimacy with her husband when he has agreed to use a barrier (condom) for performing the sexual act he is requesting.

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