Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I think I am committing shirk, I’ve become an addict too

baby damage weed abuse pregnancy, baby to born

Selam alejkum,

I really need help and answers, otherwise I'm going to kill myself. I'm desperate and scared for my life.

I've dated my husband for 8 years without nikah. I've done sin after sin. I've destroyed my life and my family's life.

He was a drug addict and alcoholic. I started dating him because I went in the footsteps of shaytan, and here I am today with my insanity consuming my last days of hope because don't think I can take it anymore .

I've tried to leave him. I tried everything, and I keep going back to him. Then he started to change- he left alcohol, then hard drugs, and now he is smoking just weed.

He is poor and doesn't have any school degree. we did nikah 5 months ago, and my father opened him a coffee bar so he can work, but he still smokes. I'm losing my mind because I think I'm pregnant, and I'm too scared to take a test to confirm it.

I'm afraid of my husband. I do everything that he wants. I left everything for him. Right now I'm just writing to keep my mind off killing myself.

I've tried praying salah. Every time I pray, something bad happens, or I get very lazy and I hear voices in my head. I listen to Quran with headphones sometimes, but lately I'm in a very bad mood. I'm angry that I can't leave this relationship and save myself.

After spending so much time with him, I've started to think more of him than Allah. I don't do what He says. I can't do things Allah says you can't. I've become a weed addict because I was manipulated into the situation. Lately I'm trying to quit, but I have too much stress on myself. Ooooh Allah I have soooo much to talk about, but I don't expect that anyone will reply. I'm writing just to comfort myself. If anyone reads this, I have just one wish, please: I'm begging in the name of Allah the Rahman the Rahim, make dua for me and my family. Pray that Allah guide us, and Allah guide my parents, my sister, my husband, and all the people how are suffering like me. Oooooo Allah, yaaa Rab, help me.

-Abrakadabra

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8 Responses »

  1. Dear sister,

    I may not be the best help but I can say that I understand your suffering and pain. I felt like I was going to die almost 2 months ago in one of the most scariest times of my life. I pray Allah makes it easy on you and you find peace. Will remember you and your family in duas. Please feel free to reply here I’m happy to talk to you. May Allah help you. Take care

  2. Salaam sister im in the same boat. Shaitaan doesn't want you to get close to Allah.
    Allah knows you have a good heart. That's why shaitaan doesn't want you getting closer to Allah. Take small steps like doing zikr. Say subhanAllah and Alhamdulilah and Allah u Akbar all the time. It will pass. Allah is with the ones that are patient.
    It's easier said than done. Take small steps. If you win ask for forgiveness all the time. Get on that prayer mat and going Into sajuud. God is great. This difficult time will pass I can assure you. After hardship comes ease. We will all die and everyday we get closer to our own grave. Fight your own nafs. All the best and this message you have sent here is the first step. Well done.

  3. The most likely explanation for your situation is that he has done black magic on you. This explains why you are mad about him, why you're unable to leave him and keep going back when you do. It also explains why you are unable to perform salat and hear things when you try to or bad things happen - only black magic does that.

    He is obviously a disgrace and you would not have sacrificed so much for him if you able to act normally.

    You need to take a pregnancy test asap. You cannot have an abortion after 40 days of conception as this is when the soul is breathed into the foetus, and if you do, you will be committing murder. As a muslim, suicide is no option as you will be committing suicide the same way you did if you go through with it for all eternity in hell. So you won't be escaping your problem, you will be having it forever only made much worse .

    You need to leave him and address the black magic: recite this dua at least 1000 times a day imagine the black magic is disappearing. Don't let him come near you or feed you anything. Be sure to take all your clothing, hair and other personal things as they can be used to do black magic on you again: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCOPM0OTEJM

  4. My Dear,

    Allah hear you, Allah knows what you are going through. Remember after calamari comes ease..you continue calling upon the almighty & pray to the one..

    Continue with the kelma Laila ha ILlalllah
    Open Quran get your self busy with ziker..
    Allah knows you are repenting sincerely Allah loves those who repent. It’s a test deal with Salah and seber say Alhamdollillah for everything..keep your hope in the mercy of Allah.. He is enough.

    May Allah grant you peace. I am praying for you to come out of this situation. You don’t have to suffer, in the hand of wrong people and situation get out, stand up for yourself and for your baby to be born. Make a difference for your unborn child, this might be a good thing,you being pregnant, don’t under estimate the power of motherhood...it might be a blessing in disguise..you need to survive and make a life InshAAllah . You can do it !!

    We are all here you are never alone..Allah the almighty is always there..we human feel for you & want to help imagine how much Allah care 1000 times more caring ..

  5. Assalaamualaykum Abrahcadabra,

    I have made dua for you and all the people who are suffering. Insha Allah help will be coming your way soon and deliver you from this discomfort.

    Hugs,

    Nor

  6. Sister, the first thing for you to do is to stop making excuses and take responsibility for your own choices and your life. You have the ability to leave this man if you choose, you have the ability to obey Allah, and you have the ability to stop smoking weed - which is not considered physically addictive, by the way. You just have to make different choices, and stick to them. May Allah grant you the guidance and strength to do better.

    Wael
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  7. Salams - Firstly common sense should prevail as a mature individual which you have already demonstrated by being aware of your weakness.

    Secondly, feeling of being uncomfortable and worried or nervousness is a positive sign which means you are trying to be learn something new or trying to overcome daily norm practices.

    As for feeling bad, these are negative thoughts from the devil! Allah is immensely forgiving! Count the word “forgiveness” and how many times it’s mentioned in Quran and then count the work “punishment” on how many times it is stated. **Small exercise for you to change habits!

    Don’t run away from responsibilities! Take the test as a fact finding exercise and being prepared leads to better outcome. If you are indeed expecting, it may inshallah give you strength to stand tall and break old habits to stand on your own feet. Alcohol and weed just lapses memory for a short period. Instead try picking one of allahs name and read daily to break this habit then move onto another name one by one. Change your lifestyle!

    Remember he has his journey and you have yours! Bad apples are with bad apples and his influence will cause trouble to both yourself and you child.

    Most problems are related to financial dependence . Try and get a job and keep yourself occupied with work. It may also lead you to make better decisions and positive well being.

    Remember , it is always difficult to move away from old habits but as you apply enough pressure then it’s a snowball effect (warren buffet) . Have faith that if you are being tested , means God loves you and testing you to be in a better state. He is always with you! . Make him your companion and help others here and there even with a smile or some advise.

    Be positive. You will be ok inshallah! Have faith in God!

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