14 Year Old Girl Committed a Sexual Act, Feeling Guilty
Feeling Guilty after Committing the Sin
Assalam - u - Alaikum , everyone.
I am a 14 year old girl left by a deep guilt. A one year back i was just a simple girl living her life with no regrets at all. I was a very good daughter and a sister. Everyone in the family used to love me although they still do and give my examples to their children.
A few moths back my senior boy contacted me and told me that he loved me. I tried to avoid him but somehow i fell in love with him too although i never wanted to be in a relationship.
At first , our relationship was pure and clean but one day a thing happened that left me with deep regret throughout my whole life. He used to do zinna discussions with me at night through texting although i stopped him.
He asked me to send some nude pic s of me. I tried to stop him and tell him that it wasn't posible but he won't listen and since i was so in love with him i did as he said. Then one day he called me up on club and told me to do a bad act. i told him that it feels like i am commitiing zinna but he said that it isn't a part of zinna . I did as he said but then i came to know that that one act was a part of oral sex. We only did one act. Would it make a difference? Because i really didn't know that it was a sexual act although i did know that it was something bad!
My sisters, i greatly regret this now. I can't sleep at night. I cry alot and pray to Allah subhanatallah for my forgiveness.
I am trying to offer five prayers everyday. I tasbih Astaghfirullah everyday.
Please help me , consider me as your little sister. I won't be in a relationship ever and thats my vow to Allah !!
Help me , Tell me if i'm still a virgin or not!
May God Bless you all!
-ย ย girlwithaguilt
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Assalamvalaikum little sister ,
I can honestly say I know what guilt is. I am not a girl , I am a guy but I know what pain is. I know pain which caused me to stop eating and I was placed on 4 different types of anti depressants and even tried to kill myself.
Like you , I too have spent nights crying and asking ALLAH to forgive me. Not because I committed zina , but I got into a relationship with a girl that I fell in love with and we ended up getting physical. In the end , she had to leave me and I was left feeling dead.
Well , technically you are still a virgin little sister. Alhamdulillah , thank Allah that he saved you from complete zina and do tawbah regularly and do istigfhar which you are mashaallah already doing. I can see your repentance is genuine and I believe ALLAH will forgive you. He loves not the sin , but loves repentance . He loves not the sinners , but loves the repenters. Infact , I am sure before this episode you weren't as punctual with your prayers as you are now. Am I right?
Baby sister , pain can be a positive if it brings you closer to ALLAH. ๐ .
And I am also sure that you are no longer in a relationship because it is only after such a thing breaks and the teenage love hormones in your head die that you get your senses back and you realise the error of your ways.
My advice now . Forget the past. Think about how you can please ALLAH now and how you can be the best muslimah you can be in the future. As for the boy , he is answerable for his deeds and you are answerable for yours. No point thinking about him. The grave is a lonely place and the only thing which will help us are our acts of piety.
Do you know there was a sahaba named Maiz Ibn Malik ( R.A ) who committed adultery. Can you imagine , a sahaba?? But even then my king Huzoor Muhammed Mustafa Sallalllahu Alaihi Wasallam gave him all the chance to repent without enforcing the hadd. ๐ . The doors of repentance are always open.
And do you know Hazrat Umar Farooq Radiallahutaalaahu was a big NON MUSLIM before he converted. And Mashaallah after he converted , he became the 2nd caliph and now has the honour of being laid to rest next to our prophet Sallallahualaihiwasallam.
It will take time baby sister. It will take time. It wont go away in one day. The first step is to accept the fact that yes you did sin. Don't keep thinking about the if's and but's. Accept that you did sin. I assure you , after that things will get a whole lot easier. It says is Surah Yusuf : " The human soul is certainly prone to evil ".
None of us are good baby sister. We can just try our best to be good. That we accomplish by following the shariah and sunnah of Nabi Pak Sallallahualaihiwasallam. ๐ .
That is what you have to do now. Try your best to be good. Avoid mixing with opposite sex. Lower your gaze. Practise hijaab. Read all the prayers. Perform Tahajjud. Do a lot of zikr. Lots and lots of zikr. Once you are always remembering ALLAH you will automatically save yourself from sin. ๐ . Then see the change in your life. ๐
Now smile and go have nice dinner with your loving family , play with your siblings and try to please ALLAH the best you can. ๐
MashA'llah brother you raised me with a great hope.
And yeah I was not regular in my prayers. But MashA''llah I am now , and brother i am trying to wear Hijab.
Just pray that Allah give me hidayet to stop worrying from what people think.
Wasalam , May Allah bless his blessings upon you.
And I am doing everything you mentioned above but I am not taking Hijab since my family environment isn't that strict and i know my mother will ask me for such an abrupt change.
But for the sin i comitted i actually wanna wear Hijab but I am so doubtful.
Can't I stay full with faith without wearing a Hijab?
And i won't be able to ansswer my mother's questions because she'll be having a doubt on me
so kind my brother.mashallah.
As Salamualaikum sister,
I understand from your post that you are sincere in your Tawbah.
If you actually did oral sex, then it is a form of Zina, though not the actual one. Repentance is a must.
The conditions for Tawbah are
1. that you leave the sin immediately, which you have done,
2. That you feel guilty for having committed the sin, which you do
3. Resolving never to do it again, which is something you have done.
Alhamdulillah, if you are truthful, then your Tawbah meets fulfils all the conditions. It is upon Allah to Forgive you or not. But don't worry. Allah Forgives every sin on Tawbah, if He Wishes so.
Do not let the sins you have committed harm your future or your other matters in any way. It was a mistake which can't be undone. Now you should try never to repeat it and never let your Imaan in Allah shatter.
As a young girl, you maybe exposed to many such situations. But it is your duty to guard yourself. You will see many men who will be of such nature. They are a tool of Shaitaan to lead you astray. Do not pay heed to any of there men and just move ahead.
My sister, your age is the age which makes you oriented towards whichever thing you do. So, pray to Allah with sincerity as much as possible, do Dhikr, send peace and blessings on the Rasool Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam and strive to follow his Sunnah and that of the Sahaabah Radiyallahu Anhum. The mothers of the believers are your role models, read about them and follow what they did. Insha Allah, you'll turn out to be a very good Muslimah in the future.
May Allah Make it So
Aameen
Wassalamualaikum
Muhammad Waseem
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Thankyou brother ,
I am so depressed , will Allah accept my repentance and am I a virgin or not? Please tell me.
I am very small and I don't know anything. This sin of me is effecting me too much. Please pray for me ๐ Mention my name while saying your Du'a.
May Allah bless you for you are helping so many sinners.
Wasalam.
You are virgin, sister. As you have not had the actual sex with a man.
Yes, in sha Allah, Allah Will Forgive you if you do Tawbah. He Is Full of Mercy and Forgiveness. Just turn to Him and you'll find that He's Turned to you, in sha Allah.
Keep up your Imaan, your belief, keep yourself with the Sunnah of Rasoolullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam and in sha Allah you'll turn out to be a good Muslimah when you grow up.
In sha Allah I'll remember you in my duas. May Allah Guide you and enhance your Imaan through knowledge and practice.
Jazakillahu Khair
Muhammad Waseem
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
And since I didn't know that it was a part of oral sex , so does it make any difference?
Please tell.
Jazakillahu Khair
Sister, sin is a sin. You will have to repent for it. But you are still virgin, as no actual sex took place. Don't worry about that event. Just keep that away from yourself and seek Allah's Forgiveness, and concentrate on other matters of your life.
Muhammad Waseem
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Sorry brother for interrupting again and again but I read in a site that whosoever wents into a relationship like this deserves 100 stripes?
I am so worried!! Do I deserve hundred stripes? Coz Allah knows how sincere my repentance is.
Sister,
Its alright that you ask. You can clarify as many doubts as you want, in sha Allah. I'll be happy if I can clarify them for you.
The mention about 100 stripes is true, but not for an act lesser than sexual intercourse by unmarried people. If anyone has sexual intercourse, then that person, according to the Islamic Sharee'ah, has to be flogged a hundred times as Hadd. This is a part of Allah's Justice, May He Be Exalted.
What you did was not this, but a tool that leads to it.
And moreover, the punishment is very rarely given in today's World, as rarely does any country follow Sharee'ah rules, except for Saudi Arabia to a great extent.
You need not worry. In sha Allah, if you do Tawbah, you can be Forgiven. But yes, if you perform two Rakaa'at of Salatut Tawbah (The prayer for Tawbah), it will be great, as it is legislated in the Sharee'ah, as a Hadith proves.
If you have anything to clarify regarding this, you are welcome to ask.
May Allah Reward you and accept your Tawbah
Muhammad Waseem
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Brother did I commit Zinaa? ๐
Because many posts out there point like this? I don't want such a big allegation in such a small age!! I have repented. My heart always cries. I was in a trap of Shaytaan. Please tell me did I?
Sister, you need not worry. What you did was not the Zina of the worst kind, which is the major sin. Now forget about it and don't let it interfere with your life.
What you did was a sin, but as I said, sins do happen. We can not be free from sins, whatsoever.
Read this Hadith from Allah's Messenger Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam:
"If you did not commit sins, Allaah would sweep you out of existence and replace you by another people who would commit sins, ask for Allaah's forgiveness and He would forgive them."
(Muslim)
Allah does not Love sins, but He Loves Tawbah. You have committed sins, which is a proof that you are Human. Otherwise, you would be equal to angels, who were not Created for sins.
You will sin, being a Human Being. But what makes you different from others is Repentance. This is what makes you beloved to Allah.
Allah already Had Angels who worshipped Him and Only Him. Then why did He Create us? We are unique. We choose to Worship Him, while we have many other choices, while the Angels have no choice but to Worship Him.
This is what makes us unique... So, don't worry. You did a sin, though not as huge, but it is important that you don't repeat it, nor even get closer to it anytime in your life.
Concentrate on Praying 5 times a day, Trust in Allah Alone and don't let the Shaitaan interfere in it.
I Hope you understand this and be a good Muslimah, and defeat the Shaitaan.
Muhammad Waseem
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Assalam u Alaikum,
Brother please suggest me some good deeds which will InshAllah remove these sins of mine .
Jazakallah.
Sister, I think I have mentioned that before. But in any way, if I have missed it, I mention it here. Pray two Raka'aat of prayer called Salatut Tawbah and do Dua to Allah for Forgiveness. This is a deed that Allah's Messenger Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam recommended in a Hadith.
Other than this, do what I have mentioned above.
Muhammad Waseem
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
well all i can tell u is that u hav done something bad but since u rlly regret it and u make duaa and stuff just hope that allah may forgive u but if u havnt had sex yet then of course ur still a virgin
And listen dear..Im a 16 year old muslimah. I did a sin close to like yours in ignorance and forcefully. But guess what? Allah gave HIDAYET to me. Allah says in surah-zumar that not to despair of his mercy...verily..he forgives all sins..! and you know what Allah forgave a man who killed 100 people. He also forgave a prostitue just because she gave water to a thirsty dog,
...verily..good deeds remove bad deeds..*
Your'e just like my little sister and by being experienced ill tell you that now i cover myself with a Veil pray 5 times a day do jihad respect my parents do every good deed and stay away from all the bad and evil deeds and ill also advice you to do that. Little sister your too young..forget the past...Allah forgives everything except shirk(if not repented sincerely before death)
live in a state between fear and hope nd inshallah allah will forgive me and my little sister ๐
Aww thankyou so much aamna , your reply convinced my heart.
May Allah bless you.
BarakAllah feekum Little sister ๐
May Allah (sw) forgive us our sins lets continue reminding ourselves good deeds an restrain from evil paths. Inshallah
Insh'Allah. ๐
We are in the same condition my little sister , i am such a guilty boy but i am repent from all of the sins that I've committed against god and i wish that one day Allah subhanahu wa tala will forgive both of us