Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Committed zina at 15 after childhood abuse

pain hurt

AoA, I don't know how to express it in words but I committed zina with my ex boyfriend. I was only 15 years old back then but I broke up with him the moment I realized my mistake. Getting involved in sexual act didn't seem like a huge thing since I have been raped several times when I was young. After this "Zina" act I started hating myself. My ex was 10 years older than me and after I broke up with him he started cursing me like I'll never live happily and that I ruined his life, I'll burn in hell fire and all. Hell me please! I have sleepless nights with the burden of my sins on my shoulders. How can I repent?

Would Allah even forgive me? Would Allah cover my sin from being exposed? Is being raped a sin too? I don't know my past is a way too messed up for me. HELP ME! I am looked forward to a detailed answer.


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5 Responses »

  1. Asalamu alikum,

    My dear sister, first of all I am sorry that you were raped when you were younger. That was a crime that was done to you and that you will not be accountable for. You were innnocent and someone took that away from you.

    If that person is still alive and in your immidiate vacinity i suggest you go to tell authorities, because you dont know who else they raped and who esle they corrupted. It is a crime.

    Second of all, I am glad you realized your mistake with the ex boyfriend- now all you can do is pray for forgivness, make lots of dua, do lots of good deeds like reading quraan, join a program at the masjid, and fill your life with positive influences.

    Allah is the most merciful and knows whats in your heart.

    Just keep away from men, unless you plan in marrying that man and your family knows about it.

    Know that no one is perfect, you are not the only messed up person- Allah didnt create us to be perfect, if he wanted perfection he would have made angels who worship him day and night. BUT he created us, we make mistakes- but Allah loves those who repent no matter how far they stray. Its the shaitan thats making you feel like dirt, know that Allah is most merciful - just stay clear from all men, speak to someone about the previous rapes and inshallah i Hope you find peace my dear sister.

    you are still very young,and have a beautiful future ahead, dont let this ruin your outlook on life- just move on and make the most of your youth.

    • Assalaamualaikam

      MashaAllah, Sr Samira. Beautiful advice. I pray that it helps bring comfort and hope to Sr Haniyaa.

      Midnightmoon editor

  2. AssalamAlikum,

    Being rape causes trauma to victims no matter what age they are. When the victims are underage, like your case, sometimes the victims do not know how to handle their feelings or if the rape is unreported, the trauma can be under suppressed or buried. It will cause even a bigger damage in their personality development and their future marriage life. I urge you to talk to someone you trust or even better if you can get hold of some professional counselor. There are some rape help line available in western countries, depend on where you are living.

    Sister, it is not your fault when you were a victim; while you committed zina when you were 15 and you know it is sinful and repented, inshallah, Allah is all hearing and forgiving for those who cries for repentance.

    (One note: your ex-bf is not only committed zina but also violate the law of having sex with underage girl. It is a serious crime he did. )

    Sister, I guess you may not have a strong / good guidance live around you. You seem very lost when you were a teenager. If you are still in school or even out of school, focus in developing and educate yourself. Knowledge in the earth and in heaven open your eyes and doors in many ways. It helps you to have a better judgement in decision making. Always make a plan for your future and talk to someone who can assist you to steer your life on a right track. Inshallah, if your local masjid can offer some help in terms of classes or guidance, don't hesitate to go to them. Stay away from men - non merhem, especially if you know you have a weak spot in those temptation.

    May Allah's mercy be with you, shield you from any harm from men, and direct you to a right path and bring you a bright future. You are young, don't let the past haunt you as Allah is the most merciful and forgiven. Tell yourself if the past is still haunting you, it is from Satan not from Allah. Move on and have trust in Allah.

  3. Well legally when a 25 year old man has sex with a 15 year old girl even with her consent, it is considered statutory rape in many countries.

    It is sad you were raped when you were young. Who were these men who raped you? Are they still around you? Do you think they are still raping young girls? You can find a way to help other girls anonymously by waring their families to be carefull of these men.

    Your sexual relatoionship was most likely result of your rapes at very young age.

    You can't change what happened. Try to change your life for better.

  4. I am sorry for the pain you have gone through.

    It is not your fault what happen in the rape. You have made a mistake repent for the mistake and never let a man use you before marriage. Have more respect for yourself and love for Allah. May Allah guide you to the path of patience and keep your trust/faith in Allah that's the most important thing to remember. Stay away from men they only want to use you and take advantage.

    I strongly request you to focus on yourself getting better emotionally and dealing with the rape in counseling sessions. Please do not be offended as in the long run this will help you. You are the one who can change things for the better inshAllah I wish you the best inshAllah.

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