Confused – do I divorce or reconcile?
Is divorce really the right path for us?
Assalamualaikum. I've been married for almost 2 years and Alhamdulliah I've a daughter. Recently, my husband and I had spme differences and my family suggested I divorce him due to the nature of the issues. I had someone do istikhara for me and the results gave me 2 options either I divorce my husband or I reconcile with him. Before our marriage I did istikhara and the results were that it was good only if I put in some effort. I filed for a divorce and I'm currently in Iddah, but I think I'm making a mistake. Help I'm soo confused.
Hamydah
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Asalaam alikum sister,
I'm sorry that you and your husband are going through a difficult time now. Children are a wonderful bless from God and daughters will always be your best friend 🙂
I'm sorry if I sound harsh or mean, as I'm divorced myself 2 twice, but do you even hear yourself before you ask questions. You said family suggested that I divorce my husband no family member can or any family member should have that power to tell you if you should divorce your spouse, I don't care even if it's my parents, you should never ever give anyone that much power to tell you this, even the Imam don't give this kind of advice, you are a mother you should have more common sense, think of your child, dont worry about these family memebrs, will that family member divorce their spouse because you suggested, no they won't, so please sister I beg yoi stay away from these people, because if they loved you they would have never suggested breaking your home, and now you have filed already and now you having second thoughts that should tell you that you don't want this divorce, please sister go to your home to your husband and raise your family together, no one in this world ever would love your daughter as much as you and her father, I pray to Allah that things get better for you and your family, A woman is always looks good with her husband not without, this world is full of hateful people and especially we all have those in our family too everyone does and those people make your life hell after the divorce, being a single mother is not easy trust me I'm telling you from experience, alot of prayers and love for you and your family, pray and have full faith in Allah and he will guide you 🙂
Good advice... I totally agree with u...
Fatimah08: You said family suggested that I divorce my husband no family member can or any family member should have that power to tell you if you should divorce your spouse, I don't care even if it's my parents, you should never ever give anyone that much power to tell you this.
I am sure OP asked her family for their opinion about what to do about her marriage problems. Her family is not forcing her to divorce her husband, they just suggested divorce as a good option..
OP says "I had some differences and my family suggested I divorce him due to the nature of the issues".
OP has failed to disclose the issues which have made her file for divorce. If one goes to a doctor, he/she has to exaplin to problem. One can't just go and say I have a problem, should I get surgery or not without exlaining the problem
fathima08: you also divorced twice? Did you divorce without any reason? Did you talk to your family/friends about your problems before divorce?
No one files for a divorce over minor issues
Salaam sister, I understand your dilemma. Divorce should be the last resort. I am not sure what exactly happened between you and your husband but did you try to talk about it and find a solution? Also, you should not be filing for divorce if your confused! Pls think this through, if there is any chance of recinciliarion and you feel your hsuband is a good man i would withdraw the divorce and try to move forward. If your not ready to resume the marriage then seperate initially, and cool things down a little. Divorce should be the last resort.
Assalam alaikum,
I believe it is time for you to start making decisions as you are an adult and can't depend on others to do Isthikhara. Also, without knowing the "nature" of the issues, it is impossible to advise you except for think carefully about your decision, seek counselling and don't give up until you have exhausted all avenues of reconciliation--of course, if abuse is part of the problem, that changes the advice.
May Allah help you to see what is best for you without relying others except for relying on Allah swt, Ameen.
Sister believe me if he really loves you nd you
Love him aswell thn plz dnt listen to ur family
Its you who will suffer people are there to ruin
Things but when u suffer they are nt around
I am in a same situation please patch up
Its best for you ur daughter and ur hubby evn
In islam it says when you get married u shud only
Listen to ur husband so ring him speak to him.
my dear sweetheart never in your marriage ever listen to what your family tells u, u are now under iddah but is ur family there or are they enjoying themselves without u?never in life give the power to family members as to the extent where you blurrt out every message or every sentence your husband may have sed to you. in the end even though you maybe filed for divorce to make him see you dont have time for silly games, you will come to atime in life where you will miss him, and then you will want to reconcile with him, what then if he shud tel u he doesnt want u back on the extent of the irresponsible behaviour from your family.....your family maybe wants u 2leave him so that they can use u to there extent and enjoy the fact that your husband is suffering, its not fair, u married him for a reason, u stayed with him,and u guys have a child together, dont ever allow another person to belittle him even if you do decide to go forth with your divorce because he will always be part of ur life wether u like it or not.
d main issue between my husband and I was that he lied abt certain things prior to our marriage. it wasn't till later dat my sister found out that everything hr told us prior to the marriage was a lie. dat was why my family suggested I divorce him. Later he reached out to me n apologised for wht he did but I'm scared to go back.
Igot married 6 year old till that between me n my husband have creshes n we have fights never we live like a husband wife.i had a lost of problems n issues like hez a drugg addicted n from lst day iwas sincere with him n try to live being a good wife n i ever tried to complete my all responsibilities but hez a girl friend he cheat me n i have two kids n no more even a singl day i wanted to stay here.i only wanted to go any women rights houses with my daughter
saima, for me personally there are three red lines that must never be crossed. Any one of these would automatically mean divorce or at least temporary separation: 1. Adultery; 2. Alcohol or drug addiction; 3. Physical abuse. Your husband has committed two out of three. So yes, I think you should look for some way to get out of this situation.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Because we don't have the full story it's hard to fully advise. However this is a marriage that you are confused about. I would say be patient pray more and be persistent until you have come to know fully. Marriage is loved by Allah and worth fighting for. May Allah guide us
I am currently separated
Very depressed
As husband took my children
And to date no communication
Need to know how to proceed