Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Confused how to cope with his female friend

text message

Salam all.. I need to share my story with all of you and need to get suggestion on that point..

I met my partner when I was very young. 16 and he was 17.. we became friends and than fell in love very soon (more of attraction maybe).. we didn't committed Zina but yes we Rome with each other outings playful acts..

my parents got to know and changed my city. they are not strict but at that time they considered the age and maturity level any way. We still talked to each other this period was of 2 years in the mean time my friends told me of his affair/scandal basically he was interested in a girl used to flirt (checked his msges) but the girl wasn't interested any way. I always wanted to be a one man women (he ain't that rich Struggling) I ignored all the fact knowing the truth and told him I believe him. Though this would end with age.

Anyway I came back and for next 5 year we studies and the same university. He Became more in love with me due to my nature our understanding.. he started taking care of me as a husband and wanted to marry me.. but this flirtous/joke nature continued.. talking to specific bad girls about their personal life.. but by this time we were really close to each others heart.  This was the only issue with I don't like about him else he is a perfect husband..he even blackmailed a girl for her pics (didn't showed it to anyone but he was temped to see that. (Masterbastion) we wanted to marry soon but job career was the issue..

But after all this now he is 26 and I am 24. He turned out to leave all such stuffed 2 years back as far as I know never saw any such..

The real issue is there is one of her female friend who knows that we are committed texts her. Messages her on valintine lots of hugs.. I love you (as a friend) she was the one who even talked on how to have pleasure on her own because her bf don't satisfied him with my fiance.. I hated her character due to this talk.. if she is emotional she approached my fiancé if she is flirty she talks to him if she need to ask some ladies personal this she as her..

I find this ack very bad but when ever I talk to my fiance about this he gets upset that I don't trust him and it's normal.. (all the people here are muslims) on the other hand he struggles for me respects my parent do a lot for us. Take care of my wish smile. Kind to kids. Protects me never bounded me..

how should I handle this as I really hate her.. we are having Nikka ceremony next month but I really get upset when I see her text.. p.s is it because I don't have any male friend and I don't usually talk to male.. and very few selected female friends. My circle revolves around him . I don't seems to forget his act they upsets me at times out of nowhere.



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3 Responses »

  1. He blackmailed and did so many horrible acts and you are going to marry him? I hope he turns our good for you which I douth and karma is a bitch

  2. I am sorry to hear abt this but u seem like a family making person sincere and all. This guy u choose to be ur life partner is the exact opposite of which you dont like in a man. And hence you are going into making the most dreadful decision of marring him. It is you who is writing this post and I know you have douts about him. Let me tell you your fears about him are real. It is not about trust but simple common sense that he is not trustworthy or will change. Habbits die hard and you will see a side that u havent even imagined it in your wildest dream.
    Its your life if you can have enough strength to leave him do so bec either you will find urself struggling in this relation and love will disappear in the end. Its not about you not trusting him its about your respect. It is very simple. Think about yourself and not about him.

  3. Salaam,

    I feel that you should not go ahead with this marriage as from an Islamic perspective he should not be talking to random girls. If he is aware that these text messages or him even so much as befriending females is offending you and he is carrying on realising that you are being bothered/hurt then this man is not worthy of being your life partner. A man who cannot be considerate towards his potential wife's feelings he has no right to be her husband. If anything he has the right to be ignored. So, therefore I believe you should ignore him until he proves himself to be a good potential husband.

    Also, It might be wise to discuss things through with him. Even though it does seem as though you've made him aware that you do not like it. But, It might be wise to voice your concern and if he chooses to ignore your concern then maybe he's not the right guy for you.

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