Islamic marriage advice and family advice

How can I bring this woman to Islam to save her in hereafter and marry her?

I am 30 years old and currently in the Middle east. I met a Buddhist lady here about 6 months ago and soon fell in love with her (she is slightly older than me and is from Far east). She also has same liking for me and is in love with me. Now since being Buddhist, I am more concerned about her after life and I want to some how change it for the betterment (hoping that if she is able to accept ISLAM her life would be good) she also does not mind converting to ISLAM. We want to get married and start life together INSHALLAH. But I am not sure how far my parents will be supportive, but for the cause of making some ones life more meaningful and bring them to the path to righteousness, I want to marry her.

But in case (ALLAH forbid) if my parents do not agree, I cannot agree and she is left betrayed and does not convert to ISLAM. On the day of Judgement, I will be accountable for having broken someone's trust as well as not having taken the steps to bring some one to the straight path right? Please help me. I don't want her to end up in hell on the day of judgement and want to help as much as I can in this world and also to make her life more meaningful in the Aakhirah. I don't know how to take this matter to my parents given the odds of we come from different religion, age and ethnic background (religion would not be an issue as I want her to follow ISLAM). Can any one advice please ?


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5 Responses »

  1. Salaams,

    There are a lot of pieces to your post. The first piece is the fact that at this time she is not Muslim. I am not an expert on Buddhism, but I know that depending on the practicer there are differing levels of belief in God, or not. Needless to say, the Qu'ran says that Muslim men may marry "people of the book" (Jews and Christians). Buddhists are not included in "people of the book", so until she decides to convert on her own, for her own sake, she is not marriageable to you from what I can tell.

    Secondly, if she does happen to convert, your next step would be to discuss the proposal to your parents. If they don't agree that you should marry her, it's best you respect their wishes. All in all, right now your plans should be to cease communicating with her until she: 1. makes a decision to become Muslim, and 2. your parents are agreeable to you marrying her. Once those two have taken place, then and only then should you resume communication with her to discuss a future together. If you have fear of what Allah will hold you accountable for, know that you are much more in danger of His punishment for unnecessarily mixing with a female than you are for her hereafter.

    Speaking of which, no one of us can guarantee the eternal fate of another. Even if one of us is blessed to give Shahadah to someone, that doesn't mean they will automatically go to paradise. For the rest of their lives, their choices and intentions will be saved for the day of judgement, and being Muslim alone may or may not save them. Even if she converts and you marry her, Allah could choose to punish her for her lack of ibadah or some other sin she may eventually commit. You can not save her from Hell; only Allah's mercy saves anyone from Hell.

    The best any one of us can do is show someone the truth of Islam. What they do with that information is then their choice, and only they are accountable for it. No one will be held accountable for the faith decisions another makes. It sounds like you have already told her about Islam, and she is open to it. The rest is up to her at this point. If you would like to make du'a for her, that would be thoughtful. However, it sounds like you are trying to take on a responsibility that is truly not yours because of your intense feelings for her. Pull back a little and let Allah be the True Guide in her life, and continue to try to be a better Muslim today than you were yesterday. With some sabr and clear focus you will see in time what Allah's decree in this matter is Insha'Allah.

    -Amy Editor

  2. I agree with Amy, Now we can see how so important is the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallams advise is for us in regards to men and woman mixing and seeking marriage.I see so many posts on here that all are saying i did this with this woman or i did this with that man.
    Enough on that im not trying to make you feel bad ,but Allah forgives all things accept shirk,know that and dont dispair.
    You can try explaining to her that in Islam there is great respect for parents and so long as you are under their roof they have a say so about whom you marry.So there is a chance that they may not agree to your union and so you will have to have this big talk with her and try to make her understand this and that your mistakes that you have made were your own mistakes and not in accordance to Islam.Being honest with someone is what Allah wants us to be with everyone and right now seems to be your only way out.
    Best of luck

  3. I can shed a bit of light on the Buddhist part that Amy brought up: Buddhism does not, universally and as a matter of fundamental principle, teach or hold belief in a creator or supremely powerful God. What might cause some confusion is the fact that there are beings in Buddhist cosmology that may be translated as "gods", but they are not worshipped, and are not even analogous to the gods of polytheistic religions in how they are regarded. Therefore, the leap to Islam for a Buddhist is actually quite a bit further, philosophically/theistically, than it would be from any other major world religion. Of course, all that matters here is the lady in question's belief and not Buddhists' in general, but I wanted to just throw this out there for general edification and future reference.

    • @sam I m
      Well buddhism has nothing to do with islam
      Its is more related to hinduism
      The abrahmic religion such as jews , christianity , islam are more common
      Than nonabrahmic religion such as buddhism , hinduism etc

      • Yep, I know these things; I was just clarifying as Amy said she was not an expert on Buddhism (whereas I am quite knowledgeable about it) and was mistakenly under the impression that it involves varying belief in God, when it actually does not. Just thrown out there for reference, nothing more. Your mileage may vary, as the saying goes 🙂

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