Converting from Bohra Shia sect to proper Islam
"And whoever desires a religion other than Islam (submission to Allah), never will it be accepted of him; and in the Hereafter he will be in the ranks of those who have lost all spiritual good" (3:85).
AssalaamuAlaikum,
I'm a bohra convert which is a Shia sect to mainstream Islam. It is a real close knit community. I have been practicing Islam for the past 3 years, but my family is unaware of it for obvious reasons. Recently, I was proposed to by a Muslim friend for marriage whom I know for the past 12 yrs. We have been good friends since our school days, and he is aware of the dilemmas that I'm facing in life.
We are in love and obviously want to get married, his family have given their consent. But my family would never allow such a thing to take place. They'd rather keep me at home than give away to a 'Muslim' family. There have been advises to get married without their acceptance, but I'm their only daughter and the burden of my family's reputation and respect in the society lies on me.
I'm in a very confused state of mind. The guy is ready to wait as long as it takes for them to agree, but the question is until how long? I have checked with various scholars who advise me to do the nikah so that if anything I'm secure that I'm married and my family can't get me married to anyone else. I come from a very broad minded and freedom loving family, but when it comes to decisions involving religion, all hell breaks loose. I have been praying and making Duas, but I'm also too scared to hurt my parents with my determination to get married to the guy I love.
Alhamdulillah, he(the guy) understands my situation and is ready to help me convince them in any way possible, even if it means he has to do a fake conversion to the sect. But Islamically if its allowed or not, does the sin lie upon me? I love him, but also getting married to him will help me practice Islam in a more better way and so I can't think of getting married to the guy of my sect and then trying to convert him.
Please help me with any duas that would in some way help me convince my parents or better, bring them to the right path.
~Manobi
2 Responses »
Leave a Response
Entries(RSS)
Salamu'alaikum sister,
Allah is the Greatest of All, Who has guided you to what is His Messenger's Path (Sallallahu 'Alaihi Wasallam). Praises are for Him, and Peace and Blessings be upon His Messenger. May Allah be Pleased with the Sahaabah.
To proceed with the question, your parents are unaware that you have become a 'Muslim' and the boy is aware. Now, what matters to you is whether the boy who would be your life partner is someone who is upon the Sunnah of the Messenger Sallallahu 'Alaihi wasallam or not. If you marry a Shi'i and he refuses to accept the Sunnah, then your life will certainly be ruined. But if you marry a practicing Muslim who is upon the Sunnah, then insha Allah, your life will be like a Bliss.
I hope you understand this. Doing a fake conversion, in my sight, is not a step to be considered, because the Sunnah will be lost since then, when you start pretending to your parents. I advise you to stay with the truth. If he is ready to take care of you, then you should inform your parents what you have chosen. That's going to be difficult without a doubt, but face it as a test from Allah and have patience.
But before taking any step, call them to the true Islam and tell them why you chose what you chose. If they accept, Alhamdulillah, but if they do not, then know that Allah Guides Whom He Wills.
Then if they refuse to marry you to him, then you can approach an Imam, who can act as your Wali.
Your parents may be and will be hurt, but you have to choose between the life of deen and life of ignorance. Choose between the Sunnah and Bid'ah. Face the truth with Trust in Allah Izz wa Jall and with Patience, Insha Allah, The Lord will make things a lot easier and who knows, Allah may Guide your parents to the correct Path.
Face the challenge and hope for the Mercy of Allah in the Jannah
it would be wrong on my part to conclude here. Because I haven't pointed that in Islam, the relationship of love is not correct, infact, it is a great fitnah. So, if possible, get married, as soon as possible.
May Allah make all of this easy for you
Aameen
Wassalamu'alaikum
Muhammad Waseem
Salaam,
I am too from a Bohra community & even I am from broad-minded & freedom loving family. Now the question is: To marry or not marry?
Agreed, if you follow your parent's wish, everything will be fine in your family. On other hand, there is a guy you love.. Its like Muslim vs Bohra situation but heck.. Aren't we Muslims too?
Trying to solve the problem by agnostic & atheist views, the world will come out screaming go ahead with your love. Even Muslims (it's exaggarated in Bohra terms), the boy's side will help you because they think they are doing gr8 by adding a Muslim to ummah.
On Bohra terms, its a loss of one member to their community. Btw, If I marry a girl (say Muslim), our community will accept it coz that girl will convert, but if I say I will convert, then as you say 'hell breaks loose'. Why is it that boys' community always have upper hand? Its religion conflict. So I advise you, be an educated person, don't listen to ANYONE. Yes, ANYONE! Its your life... Only you will make decision. Just from truest heart, call your inner instinct, what it wants, that is Almighty's wish! Why would Allah want you to be sad? So decision depends on you and you only. Dont let even the boy enter your inner space. Its yours & only yours.. All the best.. Like your big brother.