Should I convert to Islam for him?
I'm a christian girl and I'm dating a muslim guy. We recently broke up. He said that I have to convert to muslim in order for us to be together as he's thinking of settling down with someone. We have been for almost two years now. I'm thinking of converting for him but i know that shouldn't be the reason. For now, i'm trying to find out more about islam. I don't know what should i do. What will i have to go through when i convert?
Wcw.
5 Responses »
Leave a Response
Entries(RSS)
Sister,
I can not discourage you from accepting Islam or atleast learning about it. But for sure, you need not do so, if you don't believe in Allah as The Only God Worthy of Worship and Muhammad Peace be upon him as His Final Messenger, who came after the prophethood of Jesus Peace be upon him had ended.
If you believe in this, it is enough as a reason to accept Islam. Otherwise, you may need to ponder over the Quran and the Islamic Literature, the biography of Prophet Muhammad Peace be upon him, in order to make yourself believe in it.
If you don't believe in it, then you can not be a Muslim. The following verse from the Quran, from a chapter called al Baqarah is something you need to believe:
The Messenger has believed in what
was revealed to him from his Lord, and [so have] the believers. All of them have believed in Allah and His angels and His books and His messengers, [saying], "We make no distinction between any of His messengers." And they say, "We hear and we obey. [We seek] Your forgiveness, our Lord, and to You is the [final] destination."
This verse mentions some things you need to believe in, if you have to be Muslim. Allah also says that the trinity is not true, which is the belief of majority of the Christians:
O people of the Scripture (Jews and Christians)! Do not exceed the limits in your religion, nor say of Allah aught but the truth. The Messiah 'Iesa (Jesus), son of Maryam (Mary), was (no more than) a Messenger of Allah and His Word, ("Be!" - and he was) which He bestowed on Maryam (Mary) and a spirit (Ruh) created by Him; so believe in Allah and His Messengers. Say not: "Three (trinity)!" Cease! (it is) better for you. For Allah is (the only) One Ilah (God), Glory be to Him (Far Exalted is He) above having a son. To Him belongs all that is in the heavens and all that is in the earth. And Allah is All-Sufficient as a Disposer of affairs. (aal Imran 171)
I believe this verse has made you think. You can read the Quran in English translation from here:
http://www.dar-us-salam.com/TheNobleQuran/
A Muslim man is allowed to marry a Christian woman, but it is not preferred, and it creates a lot of complications which are many times unexpected.
You can ask us to clarify any doubt you maybe having, that would stop you from accepting Islam.
Having said this, you should also know that no one has any right to force Islam on you. You need to accept Islam only if you choose to become a Muslim.
Please revert to us if you need any more help or any more clarification
Thanks,
Muhammad Waseem
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Hello wcw,
I believe in Islam, and I believe it is the truth. I think it is a beautiful religion and offers genuine guidance for human beings in this life. I think everyone should learn about this religion, and follow it.
If you were to convert to Islam, you would testify that there is nothing worthy of worship except for God alone, and that Muhammad is the Messenger of God. That's it. After that there are other duties, such as prayer, and fasting in the month of Ramadan, but you can learn those as you go.
The thing is, you should only accept Islam if you believe in it, and want it in your life. Don't do it just for a man. What if you convert and he still says he can't marry you? What if it's just an excuse he's giving you?
Whatever you choose to do must come from the heart.
Best of luck with your decision and your future.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Certainly if this brother is using your conversion to Islam as the "make or break" of your relationship, he is in error.
1. There's no dating in Islam and he has already stepped out of the bounds of the religion, and is setting a terrible example. How can he take you to the masjid and say: here is my "girlfriend" and we've been dating for two years, marry us! Subhanallah, this is not correct. Please research Islamic marriage and male/female relationships, as your knowledge may help him to become a better Muslim and potentially a better husband in the future.
2. Islamicaly a brother can not demand that a woman to convert as a condition of marriage, as the comments above stated you must actually have belief in Allaah as ONE God, without a partner, son, or other that shares in his dominion. And you must accept that Muhammad (p) is his last Messenger who brought the final revelation of the Holy Qur'aan.
3. If he is "thinking of settling down" maybe first he should think of practicing his religion and setting a better example of a Muslim, as any Muslim woman in her right mind who knew of his behavior would not agree to marry him, thus he would have to conceal his true self.
Often times brothers who date non-Muslims do so because the non-Muslim has no idea about what we CAN OR CAN NOT DO as Muslims. This is a form of hypocrisy which brothers get away with, however when they decide that "maybe its time to settle down" suddenly they want to change the rules.
This is for many reasons. Sometimes brothers want to impress their parents, or mulsim family members back home so now they need a "muslim wife" to legitimatize their lifestyle in front of their Muslim family. Other times they want their "girlfriend " to change and behave more like a Muslim (ie wear the veil, stop going out, stop drinking etc) but they know that only a non-Muslim or sincere Christian would even consider these lifestyle changes, thus Islamic conversion is insisted upon not out of faith but out of a desire to exercise control.
Certainly you should question the brothers intentions and consider that if he himself does not set a good example, how could he possibly demand that you convert to the religion which he himself does not practice?
As a husband is the teacher to his wife, he has a long ways to go in terms of teaching you what Islam is, what Muslims can and cannot do, and what an Islamic marriage should be. Visit a local Masjid, read the Qur'aan and do some research before you make a decision.
On another level however, God guides who He wills to the religion and despite the brothers lack of Islamic ettiquette it may be that Allah is calling you to faith, listen to the call. The most powerful idea in the world is the idea that THERE IS ONLY ONE GOD. And the only religion in the world which practices pure monotheism is Islaam. To be introduced into the light of Islam is not only an honor, but an opportunity to have a new life, a beautiful, full, clean and wholesome one which will take you bring good in this life and in the hereafter!
Please consider taking your shahadah but do it for yourself, for your own soul, and for no other reason, as this is an act of belief which Allah will reward you for, (God Willing).
Amir, very nice reply.
if u want to learn about islam, i think islamreligion.com would be a really good site for u to visit 🙂
just keep in mind that if u are going to call urself a muslim, do it because YOU actually accept and believe it from your heart