Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Dating a Hindu and Living with a Distressing Past

depressed girl woman

I am 22 and I have been in a relationship with a Hindu. He is the nicest guy I have ever met and I go to university so I have met many guys. He is a perfect person and companion. Unfortunately the issue of religion is constantly with me. I am child of adultery and from the age of 8 when my father married my stepmother I have been abused. I don't know what to do - maybe I am cursed to hell because of the way I was born. I love Allah, but I can't see such an amazing person going to hell.


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7 Responses »

  1. Life at the end is about going to paradise..inshallah find aa muslim marry him someone, will lead you to paradise inshallah..soneone c who will show ur children right from wrong...islams looks out four gains sooner or later like I do u will realise..hw right was islam...
    Isnt islam a beautiful thing itself in your life?
    Dont waste your time in haraaam...come for good and righteous. ..
    Allah shes all andvtests us all in different ways...
    Allah is most kind most merciful..
    He is al hakeem most wise..certainly islam can be the best part of you....
    Allah tests us in different ways...

    Beingvwith hindi in haraam thing leads to another one sin to another...but even after this sins

    Allah can forgive you do not over never despair to Ask Alla to forgive you...come read quran translatiion make a distance between u and ur sis first...

    If you can...make the right decisions dont forget your a muslimah that big value..I understand u been abused n hyrt in the past dearest sister..I hope u find a AND Allah helps you In yiur path...
    Tge more Effort you make towards Aallah..the more Allah comes towards u...reported in I ne hadeeth...

    If you want a relationship go for halaal ask sisters and brothers for help..
    Halal is best distance ur self from a mess and messy life...think about ur children...ur husbands family will be hindus..look at children of ppl who married hindu guy.
    .sis all the strong ..if u need help get help.

  2. A muslim is a muslim ..he may be amazing here...but maybe he will be amazinh here...only

  3. I know you care about this man, but it's not your job to save him. He's an adult man with a capable brain, so let him find his own way in life. I mean, you can always encourage him to learn about islam, but ultimately, that's all you can and should do. Encourage him and then leave him alone. You really shouldn't be dating someone who isn't Muslim. You can tell him about the fact Muslim women can't marry non-Muslim men. If you really want this guy, you can tell him he can contact your family if he ever chooses to convert to Islam. But other than need, you need to focus on yourself and make sure YOU are the best Muslim and person you can be.

  4. I advise you to listen to the comments above. I am not a very knowledgeable person, but I do know for a fact that Muslim women in specific aren't allowed to marry non-Muslim men and it makes sense to me because Allah gave men the responsibility of leading and guiding the entire household. So the father may have an even more impact on the children's future faith because of this natural responsibility that has been given to him by Allah. About Muslim men being allowed to marry the women from the People of the Book (Jews and Christians), to the best of my knowledge this is if he is having trouble finding a Muslim woman to marry. But they must be religious and practicing in their own regard. If he married a woman who didn't dress modestly or ate pork but claimed to be Jewish for instance this would create doubt in the minds of the children and also trouble from within the marriage (if the husband is a faithful Muslim). Most Christians and Jews today aren't as practicing as they used to be, which is why choosing a faithful Muslim is important for both genders. About other religions, they simply don't share the teachings of Islam and Shirk (associating other gods with Allah) is the greatest sin. This is why we are to be careful in this.

    How you were born doesn't determine if you go to Hell or Paradise. Only your actions do. Never think that you're cursed because of a sin your father committed. You are equal to anyone else in the sight of Allah.

    I think I read about something like for children of disbelievers who died before having seen Islam or old men who couldn't understand it being tested on the Day of Judgement (I can't recall how, I read it in a book named Al-Barzakh) and those who pass go to Jannah and vice versa.

    I would advise you also ask a religious scholar about this if these thoughts are affecting your Iman or make you feel doubtful. You have a right to ask about your religion whenever the need to do so arrives. I'm still studying the Qur'an myself, and may be wrong in many aspects. If I have said anything against Islam, it is from myself and the Shaytan, and if anything I've said is good and contains barakah, it's from Allah.

    Here's the download to the book (about Death, and what happens afterwards in Islam. Hopefully you can find the part I was unable to quote. You may also find it interesting


    May Allah forgive us and strengthen us in our Iman.


  5. As Salaam Alaikum Sister,

    May Allah, the one who guides, guide me, you and rest of us to the straight path and make it easy for us to please him and difficult for us to sin. May Allah make me convey the right message and you to understand the right message according to Islam and implement every action to benefit yourself (and rest of world) in this world and hereafter.

    I am quoting you "I don't know what to do - maybe I am cursed to hell because of the way I was born", any way of life or religion, that curses someone to hell based on where and how they are born indeed cannot be the true way of life. Islam for sure is the true way of life, it doesn't matter how you were born and where you were born, in regards to you, it is a test. In regards to those responsible for your birth it was and is still a test. Similar to anyone born with wealth, health, nice parents, good surrounding, its a test for them too. It is a test for all of us. So, remove that thought. Whatever your biological parents have done was a test for them, now that you have grown up and sane you are responsible for yourself.

    In terms of your relationship, you mentioned he is a Hindu, let me tell even if he was a Muslim, this relationship would still be forbidden/unlawful, you two are not married, that's it. He might be the best person in the world, and everyone in the world in love probably feels so, question is are you the best person that you can be ? Firstly, do you follow Islam only because one or both of your parents are Muslim or because you believe in it ? Have you read the message of Islam ? What is your definition of a good person ? Is it based on the lives of movie stars who are acting for a 3 hour movie or any real life heroes that you have observed very closely for a major part of their life ?

    Irrespective of whether he accepts Islam right now and you marry him, in my humble opinion it will not be right for you at this time to maintain any relationship while you are oblivious to the reason of your creation and about Islam. You have indeed shown yourself that you have righteousness in you by asking your peers on this site and by mentioning you uneasiness with him not being a Muslim - it shows you have a part of your heart that seeks the pleasure of Allah.

    Ask from the same Allah to guide you, keep asking until you get an answer, ask of him with salat/prayer, in sujood in the night, if you don't offer salat at this time properly - try to improve yourself but don't stop asking Allah, keep on asking him through a pure heart to guide you to what is right. He is the one who creates a way and submit to him. It is haram for you to be in relationship other than through marriage and also haraam to marry any non muslim. Inform this to the Hindu guy, if he accepts Islam, to please Allah (not just namesake to marry you), then it can be a way from Allah, if the guy rejects you, then he is surely not for you atleast at this time.

    May Allah grant you, that guy, and all of us the guidance to Islam and to submit to Allah, our creator, sustainer and provider.

    As Salaam Alaikum.

  6. my story is quite similar to yours, i live in a place where there aren't many muslims. I meet a lot of beautiful and humble girls where i wish i can marry them. But i can't have that burden on my chest and live my life with a feeling everyday, that i married a nonmuslim and i might end up in hell!

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